Unwavering
By: JuliaWeasley
Rated: PG-13
Pairing: Draco/Ron
A/N: This was written for the Ronficathon on Livejournal that was initiated by Snoopypez. The point of the ficathon was to request a fic of your own pairing Ron with whoever you wanted. Then you're given a random assignment. I was assigned to write for Mamalaz, who I'm sure a lot of you Draco/Ron fans know from her fic Not in Denial. She requested:
* Pairing - Hmmmm... Ok, I need Ron/Draco right now, I'm pining for it...
Ron/Draco please! Ron/Harry is fine too :P
* One or two other requests you would like in your fic - Hmmm... Ron POV
would be nice :D But it's not like it's a must :D
* One restriction - No HINT of H/D, please!
I'd never written slash before, so this was my first piece. It was such an honor to write for Mamalaz. So, if anyone's still reading this, enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I couldn't figure it out; the feeling I would sometimes get when I would catch you staring at me. That look would send my insides whirling. It was almost like you could see right through me; see what I didn't want anyone to see. There was a hard glint to it, like you hated me more than I hated you. You know I'm not the kind of person to just take a confrontation lying down, so I'd try to stare you down. But almost at the exact moment when I would meet your eyes to challenge you, you slid your gaze somewhere else, making me wonder if I had just imagined the whole thing and in the process making me feel thick.
At first, I just told myself that that was all there was to it; hate. I tried to rationalize everything away, tried to push all of it out of my head. I wasn't like that. I didn't fancy boys. And even if I did, you would've been the last person for me to ever consider. You'd made my life hell from day one. So all of my obsession came from that well of emotion, or so I told myself. And I kept a pretty good mask up for some time. But some instances can't be reasoned or stowed away forever and emotions like these can only be dammed up for so long.
A brush of hands in the hall, secret glances, and pretend fights just to get close; the more these coincidences happened, the more I figured they weren't flukes.
Our excuses to fight with each other were running thin and your insults of me were starting to lose their conviction. I could see that you knew that the anger that usually resided in the pit of my stomach when you tried to slight me was no longer there. Everything suddenly blew up in both of our faces, making us face this thing we had.
I vividly remember the night you and I lost control. Some stupid insult you threw at me got to me enough to try to knock you to the ground. A meaningless fight that went too far, secluded hallways, trembling hands on skin; things were starting to go places I wasn't sure I was ready to go, starting to work past not only my comfort level, but also my own control. And I couldn't stop it. Really, I didn't want to.
There's a slight struggle to preserve my pride, but it's over almost before it started. You move in closer and I don't think I can breathe properly. I feel the warmth of your breath on neck and I know I have to stop you or I'll lose what little control I've got left. But as I reach up to push you away, my hands cling to your shirt rather than shove you away.
Suddenly, our bodies are flush against each other and my body reacts violently.
When your lips touch my neck, I stop thinking all together and just react. My neck moves into your touch rather than away from it and I feel my knees trying to give way. I feel you start to tremble as well, and I stop wondering if you feel the same new and terrible feelings that I do.
I pull back from you, and your hair brushes against my cheek in a manner that makes me want to get close only to pull away from you again. I see your grey eyes partially hidden from the thickness of your blond hair and I'm startled to discover other emotions rather than bitterness displayed in them. You're afraid and confused like I am, but something is holding you here with me. There is no anger in either of our looks; something has shifted.
I feel myself moving toward you and your eyes slightly widen, your breath starts to quicken and as I lean in, I feel the warmth of it on my lips that are now only inches apart from yours.
Our lips meet and I can't feel anything but your mouth. You let out this little moan and I feel you press me into the wall with your body. My hands find your waist and I pull you closer to me, afraid you'll leave before we can figure this out. But, at that next instant, you're kissing me like you'll die if you stop.
I feel your hands feather out against me and press me further into you.
Before I can take in everything that's happening so fast, I feel you leading me away from the halls. My eyes flutter open when your hand intertwines with mine and I realize I don't even care where we're going as long as I'm going too.
You push me into a room I don't know the identity of and everything starts to blur because suddenly you're touching me in ways I've only ever dreamed about. I no longer care that we supposedly loath each other. I don't care if I'll regret any of this. And I certainly don't care if anyone sees us. All I care is to be closer to you.
Everything that happens in the next hour is a haze to me; it's so surreal that I'm here sharing things with you that I've never shared with anyone else, things I now realize I never want to share with anyone but you.
I don't know how we got on the ground in a tangle of flesh so quickly. Things are going so fast that I can barely keep up.
I scrape my fingers over you, giving in to my need to hurt you a little. The sounds and sighs that issue from you make my stomach tremble with the desire to hear more.
I pull back slightly to look at you lying there under me in my own shadow and I wonder if you realize how ironic the situation of us is, me dominating you.
Then our eyes meet.
The awareness in your eyes when they look into mine shows that you are conscious of your weakness. I know you hate it. I know you hate weak things and the fact that you yourself are fragile must be an alarming realization to you.
Before I can think, I lean in and kiss you so gently, to show you I understand. We give in completely and it's beyond anything I ever thought it would be.
Not long after our breathing has returned to normal, I feel you shift beside me. We still haven't spoken at all since our lips first met. I want to know what you're thinking because, I don't feel nervous or disgusted by what we've done and I'm hoping you feel the same. But I can't find words to use after what we've just shared. I breathe in deeply and let out a shaky sigh, trying to release some of the nerves that have surfaced.
You reach behind you and your hand finds mine. Relief floods through me and I pull you against my chest and drift to sleep.
You aren't there when I'm awake, but I'm strangely not upset by that at all.
The next day when I see you in the Great Hall my heart jumps. When our eyes meet over random people's heads everything that happened the night before rushes into my head and I feel so warm. Your eyes hold no clues for anyone else that might look but me. I know what you're thinking. I know you don't regret it.
Harry says something to my right, breaking me out of my reverie. I feel your eyes on me as we leave the Great Hall and my stomach is in knots. I smile.
Looking back after all this time, I know something inside of me changed that day.
Every time we come together like that first night, I think of the way things used to be. No one has figured out or secret and I'm grateful for that. I know people wouldn't understand. And I'm not talking about the fact that we're both men, I'm talking about how we're on different sides of everything. Slytherin. Gryffindor.
I still can't bring myself to regret any of it. Because once I stopped denying what I felt, I found myself, but most importantly, I found someone who really knows me unlike anyone else.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N2: Please Review for me! I'm very nervous of everyone's reaction, so your opinion is very appreciated.
By: JuliaWeasley
Rated: PG-13
Pairing: Draco/Ron
A/N: This was written for the Ronficathon on Livejournal that was initiated by Snoopypez. The point of the ficathon was to request a fic of your own pairing Ron with whoever you wanted. Then you're given a random assignment. I was assigned to write for Mamalaz, who I'm sure a lot of you Draco/Ron fans know from her fic Not in Denial. She requested:
* Pairing - Hmmmm... Ok, I need Ron/Draco right now, I'm pining for it...
Ron/Draco please! Ron/Harry is fine too :P
* One or two other requests you would like in your fic - Hmmm... Ron POV
would be nice :D But it's not like it's a must :D
* One restriction - No HINT of H/D, please!
I'd never written slash before, so this was my first piece. It was such an honor to write for Mamalaz. So, if anyone's still reading this, enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I couldn't figure it out; the feeling I would sometimes get when I would catch you staring at me. That look would send my insides whirling. It was almost like you could see right through me; see what I didn't want anyone to see. There was a hard glint to it, like you hated me more than I hated you. You know I'm not the kind of person to just take a confrontation lying down, so I'd try to stare you down. But almost at the exact moment when I would meet your eyes to challenge you, you slid your gaze somewhere else, making me wonder if I had just imagined the whole thing and in the process making me feel thick.
At first, I just told myself that that was all there was to it; hate. I tried to rationalize everything away, tried to push all of it out of my head. I wasn't like that. I didn't fancy boys. And even if I did, you would've been the last person for me to ever consider. You'd made my life hell from day one. So all of my obsession came from that well of emotion, or so I told myself. And I kept a pretty good mask up for some time. But some instances can't be reasoned or stowed away forever and emotions like these can only be dammed up for so long.
A brush of hands in the hall, secret glances, and pretend fights just to get close; the more these coincidences happened, the more I figured they weren't flukes.
Our excuses to fight with each other were running thin and your insults of me were starting to lose their conviction. I could see that you knew that the anger that usually resided in the pit of my stomach when you tried to slight me was no longer there. Everything suddenly blew up in both of our faces, making us face this thing we had.
I vividly remember the night you and I lost control. Some stupid insult you threw at me got to me enough to try to knock you to the ground. A meaningless fight that went too far, secluded hallways, trembling hands on skin; things were starting to go places I wasn't sure I was ready to go, starting to work past not only my comfort level, but also my own control. And I couldn't stop it. Really, I didn't want to.
There's a slight struggle to preserve my pride, but it's over almost before it started. You move in closer and I don't think I can breathe properly. I feel the warmth of your breath on neck and I know I have to stop you or I'll lose what little control I've got left. But as I reach up to push you away, my hands cling to your shirt rather than shove you away.
Suddenly, our bodies are flush against each other and my body reacts violently.
When your lips touch my neck, I stop thinking all together and just react. My neck moves into your touch rather than away from it and I feel my knees trying to give way. I feel you start to tremble as well, and I stop wondering if you feel the same new and terrible feelings that I do.
I pull back from you, and your hair brushes against my cheek in a manner that makes me want to get close only to pull away from you again. I see your grey eyes partially hidden from the thickness of your blond hair and I'm startled to discover other emotions rather than bitterness displayed in them. You're afraid and confused like I am, but something is holding you here with me. There is no anger in either of our looks; something has shifted.
I feel myself moving toward you and your eyes slightly widen, your breath starts to quicken and as I lean in, I feel the warmth of it on my lips that are now only inches apart from yours.
Our lips meet and I can't feel anything but your mouth. You let out this little moan and I feel you press me into the wall with your body. My hands find your waist and I pull you closer to me, afraid you'll leave before we can figure this out. But, at that next instant, you're kissing me like you'll die if you stop.
I feel your hands feather out against me and press me further into you.
Before I can take in everything that's happening so fast, I feel you leading me away from the halls. My eyes flutter open when your hand intertwines with mine and I realize I don't even care where we're going as long as I'm going too.
You push me into a room I don't know the identity of and everything starts to blur because suddenly you're touching me in ways I've only ever dreamed about. I no longer care that we supposedly loath each other. I don't care if I'll regret any of this. And I certainly don't care if anyone sees us. All I care is to be closer to you.
Everything that happens in the next hour is a haze to me; it's so surreal that I'm here sharing things with you that I've never shared with anyone else, things I now realize I never want to share with anyone but you.
I don't know how we got on the ground in a tangle of flesh so quickly. Things are going so fast that I can barely keep up.
I scrape my fingers over you, giving in to my need to hurt you a little. The sounds and sighs that issue from you make my stomach tremble with the desire to hear more.
I pull back slightly to look at you lying there under me in my own shadow and I wonder if you realize how ironic the situation of us is, me dominating you.
Then our eyes meet.
The awareness in your eyes when they look into mine shows that you are conscious of your weakness. I know you hate it. I know you hate weak things and the fact that you yourself are fragile must be an alarming realization to you.
Before I can think, I lean in and kiss you so gently, to show you I understand. We give in completely and it's beyond anything I ever thought it would be.
Not long after our breathing has returned to normal, I feel you shift beside me. We still haven't spoken at all since our lips first met. I want to know what you're thinking because, I don't feel nervous or disgusted by what we've done and I'm hoping you feel the same. But I can't find words to use after what we've just shared. I breathe in deeply and let out a shaky sigh, trying to release some of the nerves that have surfaced.
You reach behind you and your hand finds mine. Relief floods through me and I pull you against my chest and drift to sleep.
You aren't there when I'm awake, but I'm strangely not upset by that at all.
The next day when I see you in the Great Hall my heart jumps. When our eyes meet over random people's heads everything that happened the night before rushes into my head and I feel so warm. Your eyes hold no clues for anyone else that might look but me. I know what you're thinking. I know you don't regret it.
Harry says something to my right, breaking me out of my reverie. I feel your eyes on me as we leave the Great Hall and my stomach is in knots. I smile.
Looking back after all this time, I know something inside of me changed that day.
Every time we come together like that first night, I think of the way things used to be. No one has figured out or secret and I'm grateful for that. I know people wouldn't understand. And I'm not talking about the fact that we're both men, I'm talking about how we're on different sides of everything. Slytherin. Gryffindor.
I still can't bring myself to regret any of it. Because once I stopped denying what I felt, I found myself, but most importantly, I found someone who really knows me unlike anyone else.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N2: Please Review for me! I'm very nervous of everyone's reaction, so your opinion is very appreciated.