AN: This chapter is questionable. Highly. Mostly because the plot in this one was headed by none other than AWF's resident weirdo/oversensitive nice girl, Vuong. Yes, an asian girl who loves Jack in the Box buttermilk sauce and anything remotely resembling a misunderstood villan. (She practically begged to write the Chapter Storyline.)Teri-Lyn and Rudin are not held responsible for any trauma sustained. They went to Ala Moana. (Me, Ayana typed the actual chapter. Vuong created it.) Be on the lookout for very shonen ai/yaoish content.
*******************************
Let's put weird and weird together,
and make it even weirder!
Weird, weird space is
super-weird!
This vast space is
unbearably strange.
Nonsensical things happen on
an everyday basis.
Even so, we mustn't be surprised.
Let's calm down and talk about it.
Hold on. What? What?
Something's weird!
Hold on. What? What? Something's
surely a little weird!
If it isn't weird, it won't be fun.
If you act like it's no big deal,
it'll be too ordinary.
Let's put weird and weird together,
and make it even weirder!
Weird, weird space is
super-weird!
--Uchuu wa Taihen da!(Space is Super Weird!), Urusei Yatsura
*******************************
Intro: When we last left everyone, they were running...after and from each other. The Duke's party headed for the airport (And eventually lost their tail) Whereas Simon's group ended up crashing into several telephone poles. Dilandau is still in the hospital with Utena by his side. Let's see what Aria, the Duke and--what? They're all asleep? Oh, well. Then let's see what they're dreaming of!
~*Aria's Dream*~
Mysterious voice: Aria...
Aria: Hmm?
Mysterious voice:*Louder* Aria...
Aria: What?
Mysterious Voice: *Right behind her* ARIA!!
Aria: ?!?!?!?! *Turns around to see Duke Red dressed in some sort of weird Greek clothy thing. He has a crown of buttermilk sauce containers on his head* D-Duke Red?
???: I am not Duke Red, my dear child. I am the...GREEK GOD OF JACK IN THE BOX BUTTERMILK HOUSE SAUCE!!! You may call me Butters.
Aria: Alright...why are you here?
Butters: Alas, I have lost my daughter, the goddess of Onion Rings. Her name is...Onia.
Aria: Onia.
Butters: Yes. She was taken by the god of *Gasp* Dr.Pepper...DR.PEPPER!! *Dun dun DUN!*
Aria: *Raises eyebrow* I see...and does he have a medical degree?
Butters: Oh, yes. He has his doctoral degree in plastic surgery..
Aria: O_o;;
Butters: But you must save my daughter!
Aria: Alright then...where is...Dr.Pepper?
Butters: He has a consultation office in Hades' "EXTREMELY DARK AND EVIL UNDERWORLD OF MUCH DEATH AND DEPRESSING THINGS....AND EVIL!" It's right near the giant three headed dog, can't miss it. I fear that he has my beautiful little girl as his nurse!
Aria: Right...I'll be going now...
***************************************
~*Duke Red's Dream*~
(Fade into typical couple-running-in-meadow-scene, with Aria and Duke Red running twoard each other. Smiling widely, they embrace tightly and fall into the beautiful field of white wildflowers.)
Duke Red: Oh, Aria, my love, my one and only, I wish to be with you always and forever, like our love!
Aria: I just love your melodramatic run-on sentences!
Duke Red: You are so adorable! Even if I met you just a few days ago and kidnapped you, you still love me so!
Aria: Let's snog!
(Just as the happy couple is about to make out, the sky darkens and a large disk looking suspiciously like an oreo cookie appears over the field.)
Duke Red: What's that!?
Aria: I don't know!
(A light comes from the disk, right upon Aria. She floats up to the disk.)
Aria: Oh no! The aliens are abducting me!
Duke Red: NOOO! ARIA!!
Aria: I LOVE YOU!
Duke Red: OH NO!!
(Aria dissapears into the disk, and a voice booms from it.)
???: HAHAHAHAHA!! I HAVE TAKEN YOUR GREATEST LOVE AGAIN, FATHER!! MUHAHAHAHA!!!
Duke Red: ROCK, YOU DIRTY LITTLE SON-OF-A-DOG'S DAUGHTER!!
Rock: YOU CAN KISS MY TIGHT LITTLE KISSABLE TUSHIE...LITERALLY!
Duke Red: #@$!$%#%$^#%%$@#%%&%^$%(&(%^#$%@^%^%$*$&$%^&%&$%%^y#@$#%^!!!!!!
Rock: WOAH...SAVE IT FOR YOUR DEATHBED!!
Duke Red: I will avenge Aria!
(The disk dissapears and a light comes from above. As it comes closer, Duke Red notices that it is Tima. She is in a white gown with a halo over her head. She has large golden dove's wings.)
Tima: Father, you must stop Rock and his Insane Alien Posse from taking everyone you love to the sun!
Duke Red: But I'm the king of the world! I love everyone!
Tima: That's why you must destroy Rock and his giant oreo cookie...or THE SUN ITSELF!!
Duke Red: Rock is the king of the sun?!
Tima: Yes. Rock is the king of the sun. He will make everyone a slave on the sun, and they will make red shirts for him forever!!!
Duke Red: NOOOO!
Tima: That's not all. He plans to make you...
Duke Red: Yes?
Tima: Make you...
Duke Red: YES?
Tima: HE PLANS TO MAKE YOU QUEEN OF THE SUN!!!
Duke Red: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD, NOT THE QUEEN OF THE SUN!!
****************************
~*Tima's Dream*~
(Tima is dancing with Kenichi. This goes on for hours.)
***************************
~*Rock's Dream*~
(The setting is a very snazzy penthouse. A fire is going in the fireplace, and the lights are down low. Jazz is heard playing softly...but we can's really see Rock...)
Rock: Oh, I am SO hungry! I think I'll order a pizza!
(Rock, instead of being a sixteen year old boy, is now a very busty twenty-two year old woman with long brown hair. He/she is wearing a very revealing red dress and a silver Marduk pendant. He/she makes his/her way to the phone and dials the pizza guy.)
Rock: Hello? I'd like a small pepperoni pizza, please. Thank you.
(Rock giggles and goes to rest on the couch.)
Rock: I'm very hungry indeed!
(Ten minuets later there is a knock at the door, and Rock goes to answer it. It is the pizza guy, who just so happens to be...Duke Red!!)
Rock: My, aren't you handsome!
Duke Red the pizza guy: That'll be $12.75, please.
Rock: Oh, why don't you come in? I can give you much more.
Duke Red the pizza guy: Much...more?
Rock: Yes...*Puffs out his chest*
Duke Red the pizza guy: Much more...ohh...*Comes into the penthouse*
Rock: *Touches Duke Red the pizza guy seductively* Let me...slip into something more...comfy. *Walks into room, changes, and comes to see Duke Red looking out a window. Rock touches his shoulder.* Um...Pizza guy?
Duke Red the pizza guy: I'm not the pizza guy....*Turns around, now with Tima's face* I'm Tima 2.0!!
Rock: AHHHHHHHHHH! *Runs lickety-split out of the room*
Tima 2.0 the pizza guy: Wait big brother! I wanna play!
Rock: NOOOOOOOOO!!*Slowly warps back into a boy but is still running down the hall. He stops when he sees two little girls standing at the end of the hall. They look like Tima, but they have red hair.* Who are you?
Girl one: I'm Kalikodda.
Girl two: And I'm Milaura.
Both: And we are not human. *Heads spin all the way around and they take out knives* Come on Rock...come closer!
Rock: DEMON ROBOT GIRLS WITH KNIVES! NOOOO!*scary music begins playing and Rock runs away from the girls, only to bump into Tima 2.0 the pizza guy.* AHHHHHHHHHH!!!*Runs into another hall and into another door, finding that he is in a wedding ceremony. Everyone is looking at him, and he finds that he had changed back into the girl and is in a very pretty ivory wedding gown.* Sweet! *Walks down the isle*
******************************************
~*Aria's Dream*~
Aria: *Looks at medical office building/hospital next to giant three-headed dog* This must be the place. *Walks in and goes to the receptionist* Where is Dr.Pepper's office?
Receptionist: The entire top floor, miss.
Aria: Thank you. *Makes her way to the elevator and gets in. The ride is very short. Upon getting out of the elevator, Aria notices Dr.Pepper and Onia, who look like Rock and Tima.* Hello?
Dr.Pepper: Hello, young lady. May I interest you in a pigment transplant?
Aria: No thank you. I'm here to take Onia, actually.
Onia: Yay!
Dr.Pepper: I'm sorry, I can't let you do that. I'm holding her ransom.
Aria: For what?
Dr.Pepper: If Butters wants his daughter to go free, then he has to replace her as my nurse.
Aria: That is sick and wrong.
Dr.Pepper: No it is not. You see, I used to be his assistant, until I got my degree. Now he has disowned me and loves his daughter more.
Aria: Umm...maybe he loves his daughter more because he's known her longer?
Dr.Pepper: Blasphemy!
Aria: Are you using that word correctly?
Dr.Pepper: I'm not sure...
Onia: Yay!
Aria: You know, Du-I mean, Butters isn't 'That type of guy'.
Dr.Pepper: What are you talking about?
Aria: Butters is straight.
Dr.Pepper: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I refuse to believe it!
Aria: *Sigh* Just give me the girl.
Onia: Yay!
Dr.Pepper: Wait! I have an idea! *Runs into the OR and there is lots of screaming and unpleasant noises*
Aria: What's he doing?!
Onia: Yay!
(Dr.Pepper comes out of the OR a woman. He did sex-change surgery on himself.)
Aria: O_O;;
Onia: Yay!
Aria: O_O;;
Rock: *Woman's voice* Born to PARTY!
Aria: Now I know why this place is called Hades' "EXTREMELY DARK AND EVIL UNDERWORLD OF MUCH DEATH AND DEPRESSING THINGS....AND EVIL!"
Onia: Yay!
************************************
~*Duke Red's Dream*~
(Duke Red is sobbing next to Tima, who is patting him on the back.)
Tima: There, there, daddy. We will make a plan so that we can stop Rock from taking all of the people in the world to the sun and making them slaves.
Duke Red: My poor Aria! My poor, beautiful, lovely, wonderful, amazing, spectacular, ravishing, irresistable, beuatiful Aria!
Tima: Ah! I have a plan now. You can pretend to surrender to Rock then take out his kingdom from the inside out!
Duke Red: Are you saying I should become the queen of the sun then destroy the sun empire then come back to earth, marry Aria, and create another you?
Tima: Exactly!
Duke Red: Ingenious! Let's do it!
Tima: Wait! First I have to give you some weapons, a black trenchcoat and sunglassess.
Duke Red: Why?
Tima: You'll see.
(An hour later Duke Red is ready. He stands in the center of the field with his baggage.)
Duke Red: *Flatly* Oh, Rock. I cannot resist you much longer. Come anrd whisk me away to the sun.
(The oreo cookie appears, and beams Duke Red up, where there is a camera crew and a wedding ceremony. Rock is waiting at the altar.)
Duke Red: You have GOT to be kidding me...*Is hurridly dressed in a wedding gown.*
Rock: He's so...beautiful!
(The wedding march starts to play and Duke Red walks down the isle, mumbling swear words. When he arrives at the alter, he notices that Simon Cowell is the priest.)
Simon: We are gathered here today to celebrate the joining of two hearts in wedded bliss. Duke Red and King Rock have been together for some time now and have revealed their true feelings for each other only now. King Rock, do you take Duke Red to be your lawfully wedded queen?
Rock: *With tears of joy* I do!
Simon: Do you, Duke Red, take King Rock to be your lawfully wedded king?
Duke Red: *Beginning to sweat* I...I...
Tima: I object! *Is dressed in a black trenchcoat and sunglasses, but still has her wings and halo. She is carrying two very large machine guns...for some reason, music from 'The Matrix' begins to play.*
Duke Red: T-Tima!
Tima: Ya got that right! Get over here and change!
(Duke Red quickly grabs his luggage, goes into a restroom, and comes out in the same attire as Tima.)
Duke Red: Hasta la vista, baby!*Begins to shoot jelly bean bullets*
Tima: ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH! *Is shooting like crazy* You'll never take me alive...because I'm already dead!!
Rock: *Is shot* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Duke Red and Tima: LET'S BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND!!*They go off to find Aria*
********************************
~*Tima's Dream*~
(A non-stop feed of her dancing the macarena with Kenichi.)
*******************************
~*Rock's Dream*~
Rock: *Arrives at the alter* This is the happiest day of my life!
(The groom comes back from the restroom, and it's....KENICHI! Spooky music begins to play.)
Rock: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Kenichi: What's wrong, Tima?
(Rock looks at his reflection in a glass of water that the priest has...he is Tima! And the priest is...Tima!!)
Rock: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
(Duke Red comes out of the bathroom,. and Aria comes from the opposite bathroom.)
Duke Red: Did you know this was a double wedding?
Rock: NOOOOOOOOO!! FAAAAAAAATHER! I LOOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUUUUU!!
Aria: I love you, Duke Red!
Duke Red: I love you, Aria! Just like I love my DAUGHTER and brand new SON-IN-LAW which I LOVE so much!! *The NEW Red family hugs lovingly*
Rock: HE LOVES HIS SON-IN-LAW MORE THAN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!NOOOOOOOO!!*Rock turns around to see that all the wedding guests looks like Tima, Kenichi, and Aria.* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(Suddenly, Rock is isolated in the middle of a dark room. In front of him are Tima, Kenichi, Aria, and Duke Red. They are hugging each other and smiling alot, and Rock tires to run to them, but he won't move. They slowly move farther and farther away.)
The new Red family: *Singing to each other* I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too!
Rock: FAAAAAATHER!!
(Lots of Timas surround him, and the family is no longer there.)
The Timas: He doesn't love you Rock...
Rock: Y-Yes he does!!
The Timas: You aren't his son...and he knows...he remembers how you played a part in my death....you naughty, naughty boy...
Rock: I am his son...and it wasn't my fault!
The Timas: Liar...*The Timas turn into Arias*
The Arias: You remember every detail clearly. So...
Rock: So...
The Arias: When did you begin to be romanticly attracted to 'Your father'?
Rock: I was...hey, that's personal!
The Arias: He'll never love you that way...you're a boy...a bad, bad little boy with a thirst for blood. *All the Arias turn into Kenichis*
The Kenichis: I like pepperspray. *All the Kenichis turn into Duke Reds*
The Duke Reds: YOU ARE A VERY BAD BOY ROCK. YOU KILL TOO MUCH...THEREFORE, YOU MUST BE KILLED.
Rock: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!
(The Duke Reds open a giant door revealing none other than...BARNEY THE DINOSAUR!!! He is holding a tape player that is looping 'It's a Small World After All')
Rock: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Duke Reds: *Chanting* YOU ARE A VERY BAD BOY. YOU ARE A VERY BAD BOY. YOU ARE A VERY BAD BOY.
Barney: Let's play a game!
Rock: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
************************************
AN: Well? How was it? We would highly appreciate any insight, for AWF is dedicated to bringing insane humor to the masses and want it to be at its best. The dreams will continue next chappy.
Oh! And another thing. There is a great old Anime called Urusei Yatsura that's over twenty years old. By what I see, it's beggining to die. So, if you can, try to find a rental copy or a fansub that you can watch. Who knows? You may like it and decide to become a fan, preserving its memory.
*******************************
Let's put weird and weird together,
and make it even weirder!
Weird, weird space is
super-weird!
This vast space is
unbearably strange.
Nonsensical things happen on
an everyday basis.
Even so, we mustn't be surprised.
Let's calm down and talk about it.
Hold on. What? What?
Something's weird!
Hold on. What? What? Something's
surely a little weird!
If it isn't weird, it won't be fun.
If you act like it's no big deal,
it'll be too ordinary.
Let's put weird and weird together,
and make it even weirder!
Weird, weird space is
super-weird!
--Uchuu wa Taihen da!(Space is Super Weird!), Urusei Yatsura
*******************************
Intro: When we last left everyone, they were running...after and from each other. The Duke's party headed for the airport (And eventually lost their tail) Whereas Simon's group ended up crashing into several telephone poles. Dilandau is still in the hospital with Utena by his side. Let's see what Aria, the Duke and--what? They're all asleep? Oh, well. Then let's see what they're dreaming of!
~*Aria's Dream*~
Mysterious voice: Aria...
Aria: Hmm?
Mysterious voice:*Louder* Aria...
Aria: What?
Mysterious Voice: *Right behind her* ARIA!!
Aria: ?!?!?!?! *Turns around to see Duke Red dressed in some sort of weird Greek clothy thing. He has a crown of buttermilk sauce containers on his head* D-Duke Red?
???: I am not Duke Red, my dear child. I am the...GREEK GOD OF JACK IN THE BOX BUTTERMILK HOUSE SAUCE!!! You may call me Butters.
Aria: Alright...why are you here?
Butters: Alas, I have lost my daughter, the goddess of Onion Rings. Her name is...Onia.
Aria: Onia.
Butters: Yes. She was taken by the god of *Gasp* Dr.Pepper...DR.PEPPER!! *Dun dun DUN!*
Aria: *Raises eyebrow* I see...and does he have a medical degree?
Butters: Oh, yes. He has his doctoral degree in plastic surgery..
Aria: O_o;;
Butters: But you must save my daughter!
Aria: Alright then...where is...Dr.Pepper?
Butters: He has a consultation office in Hades' "EXTREMELY DARK AND EVIL UNDERWORLD OF MUCH DEATH AND DEPRESSING THINGS....AND EVIL!" It's right near the giant three headed dog, can't miss it. I fear that he has my beautiful little girl as his nurse!
Aria: Right...I'll be going now...
***************************************
~*Duke Red's Dream*~
(Fade into typical couple-running-in-meadow-scene, with Aria and Duke Red running twoard each other. Smiling widely, they embrace tightly and fall into the beautiful field of white wildflowers.)
Duke Red: Oh, Aria, my love, my one and only, I wish to be with you always and forever, like our love!
Aria: I just love your melodramatic run-on sentences!
Duke Red: You are so adorable! Even if I met you just a few days ago and kidnapped you, you still love me so!
Aria: Let's snog!
(Just as the happy couple is about to make out, the sky darkens and a large disk looking suspiciously like an oreo cookie appears over the field.)
Duke Red: What's that!?
Aria: I don't know!
(A light comes from the disk, right upon Aria. She floats up to the disk.)
Aria: Oh no! The aliens are abducting me!
Duke Red: NOOO! ARIA!!
Aria: I LOVE YOU!
Duke Red: OH NO!!
(Aria dissapears into the disk, and a voice booms from it.)
???: HAHAHAHAHA!! I HAVE TAKEN YOUR GREATEST LOVE AGAIN, FATHER!! MUHAHAHAHA!!!
Duke Red: ROCK, YOU DIRTY LITTLE SON-OF-A-DOG'S DAUGHTER!!
Rock: YOU CAN KISS MY TIGHT LITTLE KISSABLE TUSHIE...LITERALLY!
Duke Red: #@$!$%#%$^#%%$@#%%&%^$%(&(%^#$%@^%^%$*$&$%^&%&$%%^y#@$#%^!!!!!!
Rock: WOAH...SAVE IT FOR YOUR DEATHBED!!
Duke Red: I will avenge Aria!
(The disk dissapears and a light comes from above. As it comes closer, Duke Red notices that it is Tima. She is in a white gown with a halo over her head. She has large golden dove's wings.)
Tima: Father, you must stop Rock and his Insane Alien Posse from taking everyone you love to the sun!
Duke Red: But I'm the king of the world! I love everyone!
Tima: That's why you must destroy Rock and his giant oreo cookie...or THE SUN ITSELF!!
Duke Red: Rock is the king of the sun?!
Tima: Yes. Rock is the king of the sun. He will make everyone a slave on the sun, and they will make red shirts for him forever!!!
Duke Red: NOOOO!
Tima: That's not all. He plans to make you...
Duke Red: Yes?
Tima: Make you...
Duke Red: YES?
Tima: HE PLANS TO MAKE YOU QUEEN OF THE SUN!!!
Duke Red: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD, NOT THE QUEEN OF THE SUN!!
****************************
~*Tima's Dream*~
(Tima is dancing with Kenichi. This goes on for hours.)
***************************
~*Rock's Dream*~
(The setting is a very snazzy penthouse. A fire is going in the fireplace, and the lights are down low. Jazz is heard playing softly...but we can's really see Rock...)
Rock: Oh, I am SO hungry! I think I'll order a pizza!
(Rock, instead of being a sixteen year old boy, is now a very busty twenty-two year old woman with long brown hair. He/she is wearing a very revealing red dress and a silver Marduk pendant. He/she makes his/her way to the phone and dials the pizza guy.)
Rock: Hello? I'd like a small pepperoni pizza, please. Thank you.
(Rock giggles and goes to rest on the couch.)
Rock: I'm very hungry indeed!
(Ten minuets later there is a knock at the door, and Rock goes to answer it. It is the pizza guy, who just so happens to be...Duke Red!!)
Rock: My, aren't you handsome!
Duke Red the pizza guy: That'll be $12.75, please.
Rock: Oh, why don't you come in? I can give you much more.
Duke Red the pizza guy: Much...more?
Rock: Yes...*Puffs out his chest*
Duke Red the pizza guy: Much more...ohh...*Comes into the penthouse*
Rock: *Touches Duke Red the pizza guy seductively* Let me...slip into something more...comfy. *Walks into room, changes, and comes to see Duke Red looking out a window. Rock touches his shoulder.* Um...Pizza guy?
Duke Red the pizza guy: I'm not the pizza guy....*Turns around, now with Tima's face* I'm Tima 2.0!!
Rock: AHHHHHHHHHH! *Runs lickety-split out of the room*
Tima 2.0 the pizza guy: Wait big brother! I wanna play!
Rock: NOOOOOOOOO!!*Slowly warps back into a boy but is still running down the hall. He stops when he sees two little girls standing at the end of the hall. They look like Tima, but they have red hair.* Who are you?
Girl one: I'm Kalikodda.
Girl two: And I'm Milaura.
Both: And we are not human. *Heads spin all the way around and they take out knives* Come on Rock...come closer!
Rock: DEMON ROBOT GIRLS WITH KNIVES! NOOOO!*scary music begins playing and Rock runs away from the girls, only to bump into Tima 2.0 the pizza guy.* AHHHHHHHHHH!!!*Runs into another hall and into another door, finding that he is in a wedding ceremony. Everyone is looking at him, and he finds that he had changed back into the girl and is in a very pretty ivory wedding gown.* Sweet! *Walks down the isle*
******************************************
~*Aria's Dream*~
Aria: *Looks at medical office building/hospital next to giant three-headed dog* This must be the place. *Walks in and goes to the receptionist* Where is Dr.Pepper's office?
Receptionist: The entire top floor, miss.
Aria: Thank you. *Makes her way to the elevator and gets in. The ride is very short. Upon getting out of the elevator, Aria notices Dr.Pepper and Onia, who look like Rock and Tima.* Hello?
Dr.Pepper: Hello, young lady. May I interest you in a pigment transplant?
Aria: No thank you. I'm here to take Onia, actually.
Onia: Yay!
Dr.Pepper: I'm sorry, I can't let you do that. I'm holding her ransom.
Aria: For what?
Dr.Pepper: If Butters wants his daughter to go free, then he has to replace her as my nurse.
Aria: That is sick and wrong.
Dr.Pepper: No it is not. You see, I used to be his assistant, until I got my degree. Now he has disowned me and loves his daughter more.
Aria: Umm...maybe he loves his daughter more because he's known her longer?
Dr.Pepper: Blasphemy!
Aria: Are you using that word correctly?
Dr.Pepper: I'm not sure...
Onia: Yay!
Aria: You know, Du-I mean, Butters isn't 'That type of guy'.
Dr.Pepper: What are you talking about?
Aria: Butters is straight.
Dr.Pepper: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I refuse to believe it!
Aria: *Sigh* Just give me the girl.
Onia: Yay!
Dr.Pepper: Wait! I have an idea! *Runs into the OR and there is lots of screaming and unpleasant noises*
Aria: What's he doing?!
Onia: Yay!
(Dr.Pepper comes out of the OR a woman. He did sex-change surgery on himself.)
Aria: O_O;;
Onia: Yay!
Aria: O_O;;
Rock: *Woman's voice* Born to PARTY!
Aria: Now I know why this place is called Hades' "EXTREMELY DARK AND EVIL UNDERWORLD OF MUCH DEATH AND DEPRESSING THINGS....AND EVIL!"
Onia: Yay!
************************************
~*Duke Red's Dream*~
(Duke Red is sobbing next to Tima, who is patting him on the back.)
Tima: There, there, daddy. We will make a plan so that we can stop Rock from taking all of the people in the world to the sun and making them slaves.
Duke Red: My poor Aria! My poor, beautiful, lovely, wonderful, amazing, spectacular, ravishing, irresistable, beuatiful Aria!
Tima: Ah! I have a plan now. You can pretend to surrender to Rock then take out his kingdom from the inside out!
Duke Red: Are you saying I should become the queen of the sun then destroy the sun empire then come back to earth, marry Aria, and create another you?
Tima: Exactly!
Duke Red: Ingenious! Let's do it!
Tima: Wait! First I have to give you some weapons, a black trenchcoat and sunglassess.
Duke Red: Why?
Tima: You'll see.
(An hour later Duke Red is ready. He stands in the center of the field with his baggage.)
Duke Red: *Flatly* Oh, Rock. I cannot resist you much longer. Come anrd whisk me away to the sun.
(The oreo cookie appears, and beams Duke Red up, where there is a camera crew and a wedding ceremony. Rock is waiting at the altar.)
Duke Red: You have GOT to be kidding me...*Is hurridly dressed in a wedding gown.*
Rock: He's so...beautiful!
(The wedding march starts to play and Duke Red walks down the isle, mumbling swear words. When he arrives at the alter, he notices that Simon Cowell is the priest.)
Simon: We are gathered here today to celebrate the joining of two hearts in wedded bliss. Duke Red and King Rock have been together for some time now and have revealed their true feelings for each other only now. King Rock, do you take Duke Red to be your lawfully wedded queen?
Rock: *With tears of joy* I do!
Simon: Do you, Duke Red, take King Rock to be your lawfully wedded king?
Duke Red: *Beginning to sweat* I...I...
Tima: I object! *Is dressed in a black trenchcoat and sunglasses, but still has her wings and halo. She is carrying two very large machine guns...for some reason, music from 'The Matrix' begins to play.*
Duke Red: T-Tima!
Tima: Ya got that right! Get over here and change!
(Duke Red quickly grabs his luggage, goes into a restroom, and comes out in the same attire as Tima.)
Duke Red: Hasta la vista, baby!*Begins to shoot jelly bean bullets*
Tima: ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH! *Is shooting like crazy* You'll never take me alive...because I'm already dead!!
Rock: *Is shot* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Duke Red and Tima: LET'S BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND!!*They go off to find Aria*
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~*Tima's Dream*~
(A non-stop feed of her dancing the macarena with Kenichi.)
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~*Rock's Dream*~
Rock: *Arrives at the alter* This is the happiest day of my life!
(The groom comes back from the restroom, and it's....KENICHI! Spooky music begins to play.)
Rock: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Kenichi: What's wrong, Tima?
(Rock looks at his reflection in a glass of water that the priest has...he is Tima! And the priest is...Tima!!)
Rock: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
(Duke Red comes out of the bathroom,. and Aria comes from the opposite bathroom.)
Duke Red: Did you know this was a double wedding?
Rock: NOOOOOOOOO!! FAAAAAAAATHER! I LOOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUUUUU!!
Aria: I love you, Duke Red!
Duke Red: I love you, Aria! Just like I love my DAUGHTER and brand new SON-IN-LAW which I LOVE so much!! *The NEW Red family hugs lovingly*
Rock: HE LOVES HIS SON-IN-LAW MORE THAN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!NOOOOOOOO!!*Rock turns around to see that all the wedding guests looks like Tima, Kenichi, and Aria.* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(Suddenly, Rock is isolated in the middle of a dark room. In front of him are Tima, Kenichi, Aria, and Duke Red. They are hugging each other and smiling alot, and Rock tires to run to them, but he won't move. They slowly move farther and farther away.)
The new Red family: *Singing to each other* I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too!
Rock: FAAAAAATHER!!
(Lots of Timas surround him, and the family is no longer there.)
The Timas: He doesn't love you Rock...
Rock: Y-Yes he does!!
The Timas: You aren't his son...and he knows...he remembers how you played a part in my death....you naughty, naughty boy...
Rock: I am his son...and it wasn't my fault!
The Timas: Liar...*The Timas turn into Arias*
The Arias: You remember every detail clearly. So...
Rock: So...
The Arias: When did you begin to be romanticly attracted to 'Your father'?
Rock: I was...hey, that's personal!
The Arias: He'll never love you that way...you're a boy...a bad, bad little boy with a thirst for blood. *All the Arias turn into Kenichis*
The Kenichis: I like pepperspray. *All the Kenichis turn into Duke Reds*
The Duke Reds: YOU ARE A VERY BAD BOY ROCK. YOU KILL TOO MUCH...THEREFORE, YOU MUST BE KILLED.
Rock: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!
(The Duke Reds open a giant door revealing none other than...BARNEY THE DINOSAUR!!! He is holding a tape player that is looping 'It's a Small World After All')
Rock: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Duke Reds: *Chanting* YOU ARE A VERY BAD BOY. YOU ARE A VERY BAD BOY. YOU ARE A VERY BAD BOY.
Barney: Let's play a game!
Rock: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
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AN: Well? How was it? We would highly appreciate any insight, for AWF is dedicated to bringing insane humor to the masses and want it to be at its best. The dreams will continue next chappy.
Oh! And another thing. There is a great old Anime called Urusei Yatsura that's over twenty years old. By what I see, it's beggining to die. So, if you can, try to find a rental copy or a fansub that you can watch. Who knows? You may like it and decide to become a fan, preserving its memory.