Going Under
Now I will tell you what I have done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe I can't keep going under
(Going Under, by Evanescence off the album Fallen.)
Going Under
It was the summer holidays though not everyone was glad that they were finally here. Sirius sat in the dinner room trying not to listen to his mother going on with herself.
"There's one in every family, and I'm sorry to say that we have too many." Mrs Black went on. "A muggle, a mud-blood is bad enough; but a muggle."
"I know aunt, mother isn't talking to her, and as far as she's concurred she is no longer her daughter." Bellatrix told her.
"I can't believe a sister of mine, with a muggle; it's sickening." Narcissa added pushing her lunch away unable to eat it.
"I'll never marry a muggle." Bellatrix informed them.
"Neither will I." Narcissa agreed. "Though I am seeing Lucias Malfoy, he is a pure blood no doubt about that."
"Now that is a fine match." Mrs Black agreed, Sirius snorted making his mother round on him. "Did you say something?"
"No." Sirius answered and then changed his mind. "Yes, your all backwards minded stone age fools, who cares what sort of family you come from its not going to make you any less magic."
"I don't know how you could ever be my son, and a Black." Mrs Black told him. "We are purebloods, pure magic. We are you of the oldest pure magical families left; we should be more then just a common magic family who think of themselves as being magical they have no idea."
"Its you lot who have no idea." Sirius shouted back at her. "I have friends that come from all sort of families and back grounds and their just as good as the pureblood ones, some even better."
Sirius stood up and stormed out of the dinner room up the stairs and out of the house, he looked moodier back at the front door and then walked down the street. He went round to his uncles but he wasn't in, Sirius sat on the front step for a while before getting up again and stuck his wand hand out.
A triple decker bus screeched to a holt right in front of him and the doors opened, and he got on board.
Sirius arrived about ten minutes later outside of the Potter's house, he stood there for a minute as if wondering if he should walk up to the front door and knock. But the decision was made for him.
"Try not to get into too much trouble this time." Mrs Potter told her son as she opened the front door smiling.
"I won't" James reassured him.
Mrs Potter looked at her son and then out side, she smiled even brighter when she saw who was stood at the gate and started to walk out to him; James looked out wondering who she had seen and was pleased as well to see who it was.
"Sirius, I'm so glad to see you." Mrs Potter told him as she gave him a hug. "James never said that you were coming, but it doesn't matter. You'll stay for tea won't you? Oh, shell I make up a bed as well?"
Sirius was a little over whelmed by all this, he still hadn't got used to the fact that they liked him being around, unlike his own family.
"Course he will, to both." James told him mother. "We're going out, see you later mum."
"Bye Mrs Potter, see you later." Sirius shouted as James dragged him off, with her waving at the two boys.
"So what happened this time?" James asked.
"Andromeda moved out and moved in with a muggle called Ted." Sirius told him.
"Oh, well you don't need to explain anymore." James said.
*** Severus went around to Nissa's as often as he could, to make sure she was alright and she sometimes came to his. She spent most of her time out of the house away from Infidus at the shop in the village keeping busy, which was where Severus and his friends often went to see her instead of the house.
"Why don't you just move in here?" Lestrange asked her leading on the counter. "You seem to spend more time here then at the house anyway."
Nissa didn't answer him, for the fact that she wouldn't have minded moving out but she was too young to do so, there was no point.
"So you've gone back to the blue look." Rosier commented.
"Much better then red, it's too Gryffindor." Avery agreed.
"I'm glad that you like it." Nissa said.
"I'm not sure that I do, I think I do like the red, or black." Severus suggested.
Nissa smiled at him. "I'll have to see what I can do for you when we get back to school then won't I."
"So that settles that." Rosier said to Avery.
"No it doesn't" Avery argued.
"Course it does." Rosier told him. "There was never any doubt."
"What are they talking about?" Nissa asked Lestrange.
"You two of course." Lestrange answered.
Nissa went back to the manner every night wondering what was going to happen next, he hadn't punched her as bad as Christmas because he didn't want her friends to notice. But that night it was different.
She walked through the front door, she was earlier then she normally was. Professor Jevidah was stood in the hall talking to Infidus; he turned round and looked annoyed at seeing her there.
"What are you doing here?" Infidus asked her.
"We closed early." Nissa answered.
"Well... get to your room." Infidus snapped at her.
Nissa didn't move she looked at them both; Jevidah was looking very nervous she had never seen him look like that before. She finally walked off leaving them too what ever they were doing; she wondered if he didn't want her knowing that he had something to do with all the secret meeting's that went on here, and the growing fret that was in the Daily Prophet every other day.
After Jevidah had left half an hour later Infidus came up to see her, he didn't knock just went straight into her bedroom and then locked the door behind him.
"That wasn't nice now was it?" Infidus said as he walked over to her bed where she was sat.
She quickly got up off the bed and started to walk around but he tied her to the post, in the electric ice wires; she closed her eyes as the cold pain shot through her.
"Now I think you need another lesson on how to behaviour." Infidus told her. "Good night."
He smiled at her as he turned and walked out leaving her.
Severus came by Floo Powder the next day, arriving in the living; making Jevidah hind quickly with all these student's about.
"I'm sorry but she isn't feeling to well today, and she isn't up to visitors." Infidus told him.
Severus stood his ground, he didn't believe him he had only seen her yesterday and she had been fine.
"What have you done to her?" Severus demanded.
"Nothing at all, why would I?" Infidus said. "Now if you don't mind I have a busy day ahead of me."
Severus reluctantly let himself be pushed back into the fire place and left, without seeing her, it killed him to as well.
"What do they all come to your house during the summer?" Jevidah asked as he came back into the living.
"No, just some of your Slytherin's." Infidus answered. "I'm sure that one day they my join us as well, though I lost any hope of Nissa joining us a long time ago. No matter her so called friendship's."
"So where is she?" Jevidah asked.
"In her bedroom, so she doesn't get into any more trouble." Infidus told him. "Like I told young Mister Snape, I have a busy day. It won't be for long, but can you stay and keep an eye on her."
Jevidah stared at him, he knew it wasn't a question more an order, he nodded slightly and then Infidus apperated. Jevidah was left alone; he looked around the room and then decided to look in on Miss Tiania. He walked up the stair's looking in each room because he didn't know which belonged to her.
He came to the front bedroom; he pushed open the door without knocking. He had found her bedroom and her, and she was in a very unlike position. He smiled to himself as he walked farer into her bedroom and over to her bed.
"My, my what have we here?" Jevidah said smiling down at her tied onto the bed.
Nissa didn't like the look on his face one little bit, she tried to move against her bindings but it only hurt her more. Jevidah smiled at her as he sat down beside her and touched her arm softly over her restarts, they felt like cool soft rope to him; but to her they cut a froze her to the core.
"I wonder how Infidus would want me to look after you." Jevidah asked running his figure softly down her face, then neck the down her arm again.
Nissa didn't answer him, but she was creaming inside for him not to touch her.
Sirius sat down outside under the sun waiting for his ice cream, as wizards and witches rushed past them with shopping bag's. James was looking longingly over the pages of his Quidditch magazine.
Sirius spotted Remus and waved at him to come over, he sat down beside them dumping his books on the empty chair.
"I ordered for you." Sirius told him.
"And if I hadn't turned up in time?" Remus asked smiling.
"I would have ate it of course, can't let it goes to waste can you." Sirius answered smiling back.
"Of course not." Remus agreed laughing, and then added. "Peter not here yet?"
"Haven't seen him about." James said from behind his mag.
Sirius leaded over to have a look at the mag.
"Oh Merlin." Remus said looking over both of them.
They both looked up at him wondering what he was talking about, and then they turned around and knew straight away. Sirius couldn't believe what he was seeing.
Bellatrix walked pass them smiling at Sirius with Regulus beside her grapping at Nissa not looking where he was going and bumping into people; Severus took her hand in his and brought it tightly up to his chest as they all walked pass.
They turned round and watched them all walk into the book shop.
"She...well... She looked kind of sexy in away." Sirius said.
Then got up and followed them into the book shop, James and Remus quickly followed after him.
"I'll have to agree with Sirius." Remus said as they walked into the shop.
There she was looking at a book they couldn't see which, not that they cared. Her hair was much longer and was blue but so dark that it was almost black, making her white skin looks if possible even whiter; her black lipstick and eyeliner just interfered her look. Most wouldn't think that she would look beautiful which such dark hair and pale skin, but she did, and made her look older then what she was. (She was only just fourteen, but looked as though she could have been in her last year.)
Half the guys and men in the shop were staring at her, Sirius had urge to walk over and claim her as his own; but was only stopped from doing so when Mr and Mrs Potter came over to them.
"Nissa has changed quit a bit hasn't she?" Mrs Potter said looking over at her.
"Maybe it's just those people she spends the summer with." Mr Potter suggested. "Because she is such a lovely young girl, well I should say young lady by the looks of her."
"They shouldn't be looking at her like that." Sirius said irritated.
"The way you're looking at her you mean?" Mr Potter asked him smiling.
Sirius didn't answer him, he took a deep breathe and then walked over to her. He only touched her hand and she almost jumped out of her skin at his touch.
"Sorry." Sirius said taking his hand away quickly.
Nissa shocked her head. "You don't have to be."
"What's with the change? Got bored the other way?" Sirius asked smiling slightly at her, but now that he was closer and could see what she was wearing he was even more taken aback by her appears.
She had black shoe's which tied up her legs and made her taller, a black and silver strappy top and minnie skirt, under her robe.
"Why the hell are you dressed like that?" Sirius suddenly found him demanded. "What, you want every guy wanting you or something?"
"What?" Nissa asked confused by his sudden change in behaviour, though she should have been used to it by now.
"What are you going for sexy dark witch look this term or something?" Sirius shot at her.
"Dark?" Nissa asked, and then realised he'd also said sexy; she smiled at him which was not a good thing to do it just made him even arguer at her for dressing this way.
"You look... I haven't even got the words." Sirius said.
"You said sexy a minute ago." Nissa said offering him a suggestion.
Sirius mouthed at her and then shot at. "Well I've changed my mind; you look as though you really belong with those Slytherin's now."
Nissa stepped back as though he had hit her in the face. "Really do? You think that do you?"
Severus came and took hold of her hand again, but she didn't jump at his touch; which really annoyed Sirius as he struggled to fight the urge to start throwing books at his head.
Now I will tell you what I have done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe I can't keep going under
(Going Under, by Evanescence off the album Fallen.)
Going Under
It was the summer holidays though not everyone was glad that they were finally here. Sirius sat in the dinner room trying not to listen to his mother going on with herself.
"There's one in every family, and I'm sorry to say that we have too many." Mrs Black went on. "A muggle, a mud-blood is bad enough; but a muggle."
"I know aunt, mother isn't talking to her, and as far as she's concurred she is no longer her daughter." Bellatrix told her.
"I can't believe a sister of mine, with a muggle; it's sickening." Narcissa added pushing her lunch away unable to eat it.
"I'll never marry a muggle." Bellatrix informed them.
"Neither will I." Narcissa agreed. "Though I am seeing Lucias Malfoy, he is a pure blood no doubt about that."
"Now that is a fine match." Mrs Black agreed, Sirius snorted making his mother round on him. "Did you say something?"
"No." Sirius answered and then changed his mind. "Yes, your all backwards minded stone age fools, who cares what sort of family you come from its not going to make you any less magic."
"I don't know how you could ever be my son, and a Black." Mrs Black told him. "We are purebloods, pure magic. We are you of the oldest pure magical families left; we should be more then just a common magic family who think of themselves as being magical they have no idea."
"Its you lot who have no idea." Sirius shouted back at her. "I have friends that come from all sort of families and back grounds and their just as good as the pureblood ones, some even better."
Sirius stood up and stormed out of the dinner room up the stairs and out of the house, he looked moodier back at the front door and then walked down the street. He went round to his uncles but he wasn't in, Sirius sat on the front step for a while before getting up again and stuck his wand hand out.
A triple decker bus screeched to a holt right in front of him and the doors opened, and he got on board.
Sirius arrived about ten minutes later outside of the Potter's house, he stood there for a minute as if wondering if he should walk up to the front door and knock. But the decision was made for him.
"Try not to get into too much trouble this time." Mrs Potter told her son as she opened the front door smiling.
"I won't" James reassured him.
Mrs Potter looked at her son and then out side, she smiled even brighter when she saw who was stood at the gate and started to walk out to him; James looked out wondering who she had seen and was pleased as well to see who it was.
"Sirius, I'm so glad to see you." Mrs Potter told him as she gave him a hug. "James never said that you were coming, but it doesn't matter. You'll stay for tea won't you? Oh, shell I make up a bed as well?"
Sirius was a little over whelmed by all this, he still hadn't got used to the fact that they liked him being around, unlike his own family.
"Course he will, to both." James told him mother. "We're going out, see you later mum."
"Bye Mrs Potter, see you later." Sirius shouted as James dragged him off, with her waving at the two boys.
"So what happened this time?" James asked.
"Andromeda moved out and moved in with a muggle called Ted." Sirius told him.
"Oh, well you don't need to explain anymore." James said.
*** Severus went around to Nissa's as often as he could, to make sure she was alright and she sometimes came to his. She spent most of her time out of the house away from Infidus at the shop in the village keeping busy, which was where Severus and his friends often went to see her instead of the house.
"Why don't you just move in here?" Lestrange asked her leading on the counter. "You seem to spend more time here then at the house anyway."
Nissa didn't answer him, for the fact that she wouldn't have minded moving out but she was too young to do so, there was no point.
"So you've gone back to the blue look." Rosier commented.
"Much better then red, it's too Gryffindor." Avery agreed.
"I'm glad that you like it." Nissa said.
"I'm not sure that I do, I think I do like the red, or black." Severus suggested.
Nissa smiled at him. "I'll have to see what I can do for you when we get back to school then won't I."
"So that settles that." Rosier said to Avery.
"No it doesn't" Avery argued.
"Course it does." Rosier told him. "There was never any doubt."
"What are they talking about?" Nissa asked Lestrange.
"You two of course." Lestrange answered.
Nissa went back to the manner every night wondering what was going to happen next, he hadn't punched her as bad as Christmas because he didn't want her friends to notice. But that night it was different.
She walked through the front door, she was earlier then she normally was. Professor Jevidah was stood in the hall talking to Infidus; he turned round and looked annoyed at seeing her there.
"What are you doing here?" Infidus asked her.
"We closed early." Nissa answered.
"Well... get to your room." Infidus snapped at her.
Nissa didn't move she looked at them both; Jevidah was looking very nervous she had never seen him look like that before. She finally walked off leaving them too what ever they were doing; she wondered if he didn't want her knowing that he had something to do with all the secret meeting's that went on here, and the growing fret that was in the Daily Prophet every other day.
After Jevidah had left half an hour later Infidus came up to see her, he didn't knock just went straight into her bedroom and then locked the door behind him.
"That wasn't nice now was it?" Infidus said as he walked over to her bed where she was sat.
She quickly got up off the bed and started to walk around but he tied her to the post, in the electric ice wires; she closed her eyes as the cold pain shot through her.
"Now I think you need another lesson on how to behaviour." Infidus told her. "Good night."
He smiled at her as he turned and walked out leaving her.
Severus came by Floo Powder the next day, arriving in the living; making Jevidah hind quickly with all these student's about.
"I'm sorry but she isn't feeling to well today, and she isn't up to visitors." Infidus told him.
Severus stood his ground, he didn't believe him he had only seen her yesterday and she had been fine.
"What have you done to her?" Severus demanded.
"Nothing at all, why would I?" Infidus said. "Now if you don't mind I have a busy day ahead of me."
Severus reluctantly let himself be pushed back into the fire place and left, without seeing her, it killed him to as well.
"What do they all come to your house during the summer?" Jevidah asked as he came back into the living.
"No, just some of your Slytherin's." Infidus answered. "I'm sure that one day they my join us as well, though I lost any hope of Nissa joining us a long time ago. No matter her so called friendship's."
"So where is she?" Jevidah asked.
"In her bedroom, so she doesn't get into any more trouble." Infidus told him. "Like I told young Mister Snape, I have a busy day. It won't be for long, but can you stay and keep an eye on her."
Jevidah stared at him, he knew it wasn't a question more an order, he nodded slightly and then Infidus apperated. Jevidah was left alone; he looked around the room and then decided to look in on Miss Tiania. He walked up the stair's looking in each room because he didn't know which belonged to her.
He came to the front bedroom; he pushed open the door without knocking. He had found her bedroom and her, and she was in a very unlike position. He smiled to himself as he walked farer into her bedroom and over to her bed.
"My, my what have we here?" Jevidah said smiling down at her tied onto the bed.
Nissa didn't like the look on his face one little bit, she tried to move against her bindings but it only hurt her more. Jevidah smiled at her as he sat down beside her and touched her arm softly over her restarts, they felt like cool soft rope to him; but to her they cut a froze her to the core.
"I wonder how Infidus would want me to look after you." Jevidah asked running his figure softly down her face, then neck the down her arm again.
Nissa didn't answer him, but she was creaming inside for him not to touch her.
Sirius sat down outside under the sun waiting for his ice cream, as wizards and witches rushed past them with shopping bag's. James was looking longingly over the pages of his Quidditch magazine.
Sirius spotted Remus and waved at him to come over, he sat down beside them dumping his books on the empty chair.
"I ordered for you." Sirius told him.
"And if I hadn't turned up in time?" Remus asked smiling.
"I would have ate it of course, can't let it goes to waste can you." Sirius answered smiling back.
"Of course not." Remus agreed laughing, and then added. "Peter not here yet?"
"Haven't seen him about." James said from behind his mag.
Sirius leaded over to have a look at the mag.
"Oh Merlin." Remus said looking over both of them.
They both looked up at him wondering what he was talking about, and then they turned around and knew straight away. Sirius couldn't believe what he was seeing.
Bellatrix walked pass them smiling at Sirius with Regulus beside her grapping at Nissa not looking where he was going and bumping into people; Severus took her hand in his and brought it tightly up to his chest as they all walked pass.
They turned round and watched them all walk into the book shop.
"She...well... She looked kind of sexy in away." Sirius said.
Then got up and followed them into the book shop, James and Remus quickly followed after him.
"I'll have to agree with Sirius." Remus said as they walked into the shop.
There she was looking at a book they couldn't see which, not that they cared. Her hair was much longer and was blue but so dark that it was almost black, making her white skin looks if possible even whiter; her black lipstick and eyeliner just interfered her look. Most wouldn't think that she would look beautiful which such dark hair and pale skin, but she did, and made her look older then what she was. (She was only just fourteen, but looked as though she could have been in her last year.)
Half the guys and men in the shop were staring at her, Sirius had urge to walk over and claim her as his own; but was only stopped from doing so when Mr and Mrs Potter came over to them.
"Nissa has changed quit a bit hasn't she?" Mrs Potter said looking over at her.
"Maybe it's just those people she spends the summer with." Mr Potter suggested. "Because she is such a lovely young girl, well I should say young lady by the looks of her."
"They shouldn't be looking at her like that." Sirius said irritated.
"The way you're looking at her you mean?" Mr Potter asked him smiling.
Sirius didn't answer him, he took a deep breathe and then walked over to her. He only touched her hand and she almost jumped out of her skin at his touch.
"Sorry." Sirius said taking his hand away quickly.
Nissa shocked her head. "You don't have to be."
"What's with the change? Got bored the other way?" Sirius asked smiling slightly at her, but now that he was closer and could see what she was wearing he was even more taken aback by her appears.
She had black shoe's which tied up her legs and made her taller, a black and silver strappy top and minnie skirt, under her robe.
"Why the hell are you dressed like that?" Sirius suddenly found him demanded. "What, you want every guy wanting you or something?"
"What?" Nissa asked confused by his sudden change in behaviour, though she should have been used to it by now.
"What are you going for sexy dark witch look this term or something?" Sirius shot at her.
"Dark?" Nissa asked, and then realised he'd also said sexy; she smiled at him which was not a good thing to do it just made him even arguer at her for dressing this way.
"You look... I haven't even got the words." Sirius said.
"You said sexy a minute ago." Nissa said offering him a suggestion.
Sirius mouthed at her and then shot at. "Well I've changed my mind; you look as though you really belong with those Slytherin's now."
Nissa stepped back as though he had hit her in the face. "Really do? You think that do you?"
Severus came and took hold of her hand again, but she didn't jump at his touch; which really annoyed Sirius as he struggled to fight the urge to start throwing books at his head.