III: Goldfinger
The Sweet Candy inside was lit with warm colors, accenting the red wallpaper, red carpet, and brass slot machines and green pool and poker tables. The boat was filled with all sorts of wealthy folk in their finest suits. Gallows grabbed a whiskey shot off a passing waiter and sipped it, trying to be suave and cool as the famous 002 Jet Enduro was in the days before. For the most part it seemed to be working, even though he was dripping with water and was bruised and beaten. He even managed to grab the attention of several ladies, who giggled and blushed when they caught him looking back.
"Now this is the life." Gallows sighed happily as he sat down. So many folk were walking about; it was a chore to think who would be his partners. He really didn't feel like telling everyone on board he was a dip head. That would be the opposite of cool and suave. "I wonder how 002 would have done it…"
"Gambling." A voice said to him.
Gallows nearly jumped out of his chair when the small voice reached him. He turned around, aiming the PP7 at a small, blue talking rat.
"002 would have done it by gambling." The rat squeaked once more.
"What the?! It appears someone has lost their talking blue rat…" Gallows scratched his head with the barrel.
"My name is Hanpan and I've been sent by ARMS to help you, 003!" The mouse squawked angrily.
"It's too obvious! Must be a trap!" Gallows confirmed. "And a trap usually involves lethal substances, such as poison, knives, or… EXPLOSIONS!"
"…What?" Hanpan tilted his blue furry head in confusion.
With much force, 003 grabbed Hanpan by the scruff of the neck and rushed to the restroom, where he kicked open a stall and held the mouse over a sparkling toilet.
"Only one way to get rid of bombs, and that's through the plumbing!" Gallows said.
"Eep! Wait! I'm not a bomb! I'm an agent! STOP I SAY!" Hanpan pleaded.
"No amount of talking can move 003. The wind may blow as it likes, but it cannot stop the passage of time! Say hello to P.R.O.P.H.E.T. to me!" Gallows flung Hanpan into the toilet and flushed with all of his might, despite the high-pitched screaming of the wind mouse. In a matter of seconds, Hanpan found himself swimming underneath the vessel in the river with the rest of the "waste"…
"Crises averted." Gallows clapped his hands together and walked to the marble sink, where he would be busy washing his hands. Gallows closed his eyes and let the smooth feeling of running water caress his strong hands for a moment before suddenly having a relevation. "GAMBLING!"
** *
Agent Carradine sat himself at the nearest table, which was filled with all sorts of people: old, young, in between, and even some who weren't human at all. Uncle Gob noticed the new player and grinned a toothy grin. "You game meathead?"
"That's diphead to you mister! I'm such a diphead." Gallows said smugly. Cool and suave.
"Aye of course you are." Uncle Gob retorted, sending him a card.
"What are we playing?" Gallows asked, hoping his password had worked on somebody at the table.
"Go Fish." An elderly man said. "And I've got a queen and an ace."
"Hey new comer. Did you just say you were a diphead?" A small woman who was excessively "pail" (like Scarecraft was.) and wearing a black cape and a blue hat asked.
"Yes that's what I said. I'M A DIPHEAD!" Gallows said as loud and clear as he could.
"Yea that's what I thought." The woman looked back at her cards.
"Now Marivel, that's no way to treat someone." A small, purple, floating cat like thing said.
"Ah! A pooka! Get it away from me!" Marivel screamed, kicking over the table and diving behind it.
Uncle Gob leaped back and reached for a radio. "P.R.O.P.H.E.T Agent Uncle Gob here. There's a loose moose in the hoose. I repeat, there's a loose moose in the hoose."
Marivel leaped from her position, pulling twin uzi's from her waist pack and blowing Uncle Gob away with such unnecessary violence. She turned to the pooka and narrowed her eyes. "New comer! Get the pooka!"
Gallows readied his PP7. "Are you ARMS?"
"I'm a Diphead if yer askin! Get the pooka! If he's here, that means that HE'S here!" Marivel screamed.
The pooka turned to Gallows. "Hello. I am pooka, I have no self, I am merely Pooka."
"Gah! Scary!" Gallows leaped back a bit. "What kind of horrid black magic is this!?"
"It's mine." A small boy came down the stairs as all of the other boat goers began to evacuate (running and screaming, of course.) "You must be 003 of ARMS."
Cool and suave. Go for it! "…no… you have me mistaken… for some…one …else…" Gallows gulped. Nope, not cool nor suave.
"Well then. I am Tim, P.R.O.P.H.E.T agent. It seems you've come to crash my party. Come Pooka." The boy, Tim, called.
Marivel stood up as the Pooka returned to hovering idly over Tim's shoulder. She looked to Tim, and then to Gallows. "I'm Marivel Armitage, Agent "Crimson Noble". ARMS, of course."
Gallows nodded. "Pleasure to meet you. 003-"
"Gallows Carradine. We can save introductions for later." Marivel turned to Tim, letting her long blonde hair sway over her shoulder. "We've got an agent to take care of."
"Two against one hardly sounds fair. Let's even up the odds." Tim laughed. "Nuo Shax! Come to me and lend me your volts of doom!"
"This doesn't sound good." Gallows stepped back.
"Let's just peg him right now!" Marivel shouted.
"A great warrior once said to me 'Haven't you ever played an RPG before?'" Gallows replied.
"Crap." Marivel sighed.
"So where are the others, while we're waiting for his FP to go high enough to summon…" Gallows asked.
"They must have missed the boat. Don't worry, we'll meet them at the next stop." Marivel replied.
"Good. Oh crap, I'll have to say that stupid line again…" Gallows frowned.
Suddenly, Tim disappeared and the roof was torn away, revealing a strange giant lion like guardian thing. It roared as it ran across the clouds, sending bolts o lightning behind it. Gallows readied the PP7, but for some strange reason felt it wasn't going to work. Marivel stood as tall as she could (which wasn't really high) with a smile on her face and hands on her hips. The lion came dashing towards them, running across sky and sending bolts o lightning willy-nilly.
"Aport!" Marivel suddenly gained a large frying pan and slammed it into the lions skull. Nuo Shax fell to the ship right before them, tilting the boat on one side.
Tim reappeared, along with Pooka, confident they had succeeded, but soon found their ultimate failure. "Wha wha what!? This can't be!"
"Tim!" A tall, built man wearing a captain's uniform ran in. "No.1 wants us to return immediately!" The man then looked at the destroyed casino. "OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CASINO?! MY POOR BABY!"
"Relax Bartholomew. It will be A-O.K." Tim replied. "We'll do as told."
"You're not going anywhere, P.R.O.P.H.E.T agents!" Marivel stepped towards them, uzi's bared.
"Your frying pan may be strong, but you'll have to do better than that to catch me." Tim sneered.
Tim suddenly found himself being lifted into the air by the collar of his shirt by 003, who looked at him curiously. "You'll never know what kind of freaks P.R.O.P.H.E.T has up its sleeves. Who's number 1?"
"Bart! Help me!" Tim called.
"Eep! You're on your own kid!" Bart ran to the blown out wall and leaped overboard into the river.
"I'd talk if I were you." Marivel laughed.
"There's a bomb on this ship. If it goes over fifty-five, we'll all blow up." Tim stated.
"…huh?" Gallows and Marivel were confused.
"Or when I press this detonator!" Tim pulled out a detonator from his pocket.
"BOMB!" Gallows immediately let go of Tim and backed off.
"I'm invincible!" Tim laughed.
"Crap! Whenever someone says that-" Marivel started.
"You know someone's gonna blow! Let's get the hell out of here!" Gallows leaped over the side of the ship.
"Oh real cool and suave 003…" Marivel sighed before leaping over.
"Tim! Why'd you say THOSE words?!" Pooka gulped.
"…oh…I said those words?" Tim blinked.
"Yup."
"Then lets get out of here!" Tim grabbed Pooka and leaped overboard as well, just as those words uttered went into effect. The entire casino ship exploded, sending a fiery cloud hundreds of feet into the twilight sky, and gold coins of Gella rained down into the river…