Navy and Azure
by Apple-chan

Disclaimer: insert witty disclaimer remark here

RenxPilica. Contains lots of waff, fluff, angst...and a really, infuriatingly annoying Tao En. Set approximately 11 years after the Anime. Their love knows no boundaries. Their love is limitless, timeless...endless. He completed her, and she completed him...in the most ultimate sense. Yet...love does not always automatically lead to a happy ending.

Warnings: PG-13 for adult situations and mild swearing.

Chapter 2 - The Anguish of Blue


Ren stared at his Hou Rai Ken for several minutes, silently pondering what it was his father wanted to talk about with him. He was also silently rehearsing what he was going to tell his father. He wasn't in any mood to talk. He wasn't in any mood to do anything at all...except maybe spend some time with Pilica, but he doubted if he would be able to do much of that, especially not if his father wanted to talk to him. Tao En's little "talks" with his son often consisted of lengthy speeches about things he wanted Ren to do, things he wanted Ren to stop doing, and things he wanted Ren to do better at. His father had never been satisfied with the way he handled everything around him. En was always constantly pushing Ren to do things his way...regardless of how Ren wanted to do it.

Not that he ever really listened nor heeded any of his father's ramblings. One thing constant about the two of them is that, the more En tries to forcibly push him, the more he defies...if only to satisfy himself with getting an infuriated reaction from the man. Ren smirked, putting the Hou Rai Ken away in a safe place. That weapon had been given to him more than a decade ago by the old man, and it symbolized and signified a lot more than meets the eye. The bearer of the Hou Rai Ken carried the honor and dignity of the Tao Family on his shoulders. Passing down the weapon from generation to generation has long been a tradition in their family...and when his father had passed it on to him, it was the inevitable sign that he was bequeathing Ren the responsibility of the Tao family, and that he was relinquishing himself of all the duties, tasks, and as well as privileges that came along with being the head of their clan. Technically, Ren has been the head of the clan for more than a decade, indicated by his ownership of the sole prized treasure of the family.

The thing that was amiss, though, was even though En had given up his post to his son long ago...still, he remained--sitting on his throne like a proud king, carrying on the duties of the head and patronizing the head's privileges, like he had never bequeathed the position of clan head to his son in the first place. Of course, given the circumstances and Ren's age when he inherited the title, it was quite understandable why En resumed his post even though his son was already the rightful clan leader--at that time, Ren was only twelve, and he had the Shaman Fight to worry about. The problem was, once the Shaman Fight had been concluded (and the rightful Shaman King, proclaimed), Ren should have acquired his rightful post as the clan leader--should have. But it was still easily understandable why, even after the Shaman Fight, En still hadn't budged from his position. At that time, Ren needed about eight years more to be able to assume his title, for twenty-one was more or less the right age for that.

Unfortunately, even after Ren passed his twenty-first birthday, En still wouldn't give up his post. It was quite a puzzle why he wouldn't give it up...but Ren knew. However, he didn't care a single whit why then...and he still didn't care now. He never wanted to be the clan head. He didn't choose to be born as the successor to the throne of the clan head. From the onset, all he ever wanted was to live his own life, free from all the restrictions, perversities, hatred, and anguish of the world. A perfectly ideal life--that was all he wanted.

Or rather, that was what his heart dictated.

His mind was saying otherwise, though. His mind argued that, indifferent and apathetic as he may be with the dealings of the Tao Family and the merits of being clan leader, it's the principle--the justice of the whole thing which was important. He was the rightful clan leader now. He should take charge of all the responsibilities. He should be the one to decide what should and should not be done with regards to the family, not his father. Most of all, he should be the one ordering people around, not his father. For that matter, his father should not be allowed to order him around...he should be the one doing that.

Ren winced slightly as he fixed his clothes. His mind was making him feel like he was a cold, heartless bastard. The things his mind wanted him to do were those that his father had been doing for the past couple of decades. He didn't want to be like his father. He was nothing like Tao En. He was his own person. He had his own mind, heart...and his own way of doing things. He didn't want to be tyrannical. He didn't want to be manipulative. He didn't want to patronize people. He wanted to befriend them. He wanted them to follow him, not out of fear, but out of their own free will. Out of respect...or love, if they will. Fear perpetuates violence, but love...love perpetuates peace.

Love. As he straightened out his hair, he briefly wondered when it was that he changed from the arrogant, selfish little runt to this--the man that he was now. A smarter, more caring, and not-so-selfish man. What--and who--were responsible for his change?

He smiled slightly as he gazed at himself in the mirror. More than a decade ago, I probably wouldn't be able to smile like that, he thought to himself. A smirk of satisfaction, maybe...but a smile that indicated happiness? I've never known how to smile. No one has ever taught me...at least, not until I was twelve. But then again, I never had friends until I was twelve. Friends who made me laugh. Friends who made me smile. Friends who made me care...who made me love.

Love...who would have thought I'd be capable of such an emotion? More correctly, who would've thought that I, of all people, was going to fall in love with, of all people--Pilica. Horo-horo's sister. Someone I never bothered about but had always been there...who would have thought I was going to fall in love with her? More importantly...who would have thought it would take me such a long time to realize it? It had to take a wedding coincidence for me to realize that she actually existed. It had to take a garter going up her thigh for me to realize that she was a woman. It had to take a long, long dance for me to realize how very...right...she felt in my arms. It had to take a reluctant kiss for me to realize that I have loved her for a long time, and I never even knew. It had to take brief flashes of memories from the very first moment I met her...for me to realize that there had always been something in between us...something that had brought us together, and bounded us...and it wasn't Horo-horo.

It was...it was...

Love.

"Bocchama," Bason's voice broke into his train of thoughts. "You'd better go on that talk with En-sama. He'll be furious if you were late. He told you to come strictly fifteen minutes after dinner." The spirit confirmed. "You only have three minutes."

"Hn." Ren grunted. His father was so obsessed with punctuality...even though he never cared much if it was him who was not supposed to be late. En wanted people to wait for him, regardless if they became annoyed. En wanted to be treated as important, and special. Important people always come fashionably late.

...Not in my vocabulary, Ren thought. Sighing again, he crossed over his room towards the door, swung it open, and got out. "Come on, Bason."

"Hai, Bocchama." The warrior spirit followed his master out. Quietly, the navy-haired young man walked across the pathway, with his spirit alongside him. He paused abruptly at the center of the hallway, staring at the door on the other side...Pilica's room. Maybe he could pay her a little visit first before anything else.

He smiled slightly to himself as he took several steps towards the other side of the massive hallway.

His father could wait a little longer.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Humming cheerfully to herself, Pilica took several articles of clothing from her suitcase and placed them in the enormous antique dresser with painstakingly detailed carvings. At the same time, she examined the closet with awe, and she couldn't help but give an indrawn breath at its size. It could probably fit her whole bedroom at their cottage in the fields, and still have plenty of space.

Pulling out a couple of more blouses and skirts, she folded them up and placed them inside the closet, silently wondering how much clothes she will be needing all throughout her stay in the estate. Briefly, she also thought with a little trepidation if her normal, everyday clothes would be appropriate to wear all the time in the place...they certainly wore fanciful clothes, if the elaborate traditional wardrobe of Tao Ran and the matching silken garb of both her husband and father-in-law were any indication. She didn't have any of those kinds of clothes with her--the only things she'd ever worn in her whole life were casual blouses and skirts, which she mainly used for gardening and household chores. Occasionally, she donned formal clothing like gowns and such, but that was only during those times when there were celebrations among hers and Ren's closest friends. She had never felt the inclination to purchase ostentatious clothes, not because she and her brother didn't have the money, but simply because--they weren't needed. Even though she and Horo-horo never lacked in anything, and even though they always had plenty to spare, the truth was, she would rather save their money than spend it. One never knows when rainy days will come, and plus, Pilica believed in practicality...even if sometimes her brother didn't.

For his part, Horo-horo would much rather spend all that they had on food and fertilizers and soil, but Pilica refused to let him, which is why the Ainu shaman, more often than not, chose to cross over the distances towards Funbari Onsen Inn to get all the free food he wanted. It wasn't that he didn't particularly like Pilica's cooking--just that Ryu cooked much better, and he could have so much more food at the Inn than at their home. Tons and tons of food for his ultimate pleasure--without the added costs. And of course, there were those exceptionally well-made, incredibly delicious desserts.

Pilica could feel a grin breaking out of her face at that thought. Placing the last article of clothing from her suitcase to the closet, she briefly thought about that. Desserts--Tamao-san...rather, Tamao-neesan. Ever since the Funbari Onsen Inn was built, she'd always wondered if the reason why her brother always wheedled her to visit the Inn was solely because of the free meal and the dessert, and just that. Now, she knew food wasn't the only reason. Of course, she'd always suspected about her brother's feelings for the fortune teller...but up until those past events at the Inn, that's what they had been--only mere suspicions. But well...seeing the way they had treated each other right before they left, and later, when they were driving towards the airport in the limousine, Pilica realized the truth. She was more perceptive than she had originally thought, having been able to second-guess her brother's feelings. Or perhaps...she just knew him too much. Yes, perhaps that was it.

Sighing contentedly, she plopped down on the traditionally-styled four-poster bed. She wondered what Ren was doing now.

...Ren. She frowned slightly as she thought about him. She wondered how his family felt about her. During that initial introduction, Tao Ran, Ren's mother, had been gracious enough to her, welcoming her to their home like she was a part of the family, and even hugging her--much in the same way Jun had hugged her right before they left the Inn. Ran even came as far as to allow Pilica to address her as "Ran-Hahaue," almost similar to the way her own son addressed her, which warmed the Ainu young woman's heart very much. And all throughout that dinner, Ran had proved to be a wonderful, gracious hostess. The meal was quite an excellent one, and the older woman's company was even better, because she was such a nice person. She spoke to Pilica the way she spoke to Ren--with so much warmth, and so much laughter in her eyes. She seemed genuinely interested in what Pilica had to say, and was hanging on to her every word the way she did with her son. It was obvious that Ren was quite close to his mother, as indicated by the way they spoke with each other.

As for Tao Ching, Ren's grandfather, although he was a bit on the...eccentric side, he was quite warm and nice to her as well. He cracked the weirdest jokes, made the weirdest comments and wisecracks that reminded her somewhat of Chocolove...which, of course, clearly implies that the old man made her laugh. Tao Ching unmistakably reminded her of Asakura Yoh's grandfather, Yohmei...except that Yohmei was much more serious, much more stiff...and more subdued. Probably because of his wife, Kino. In the Asakura family, it was undoubtedly the women who called the shots, as exemplified by Asakura Kino to her husband; and by her contemporary, the one and the only, Asakura Anna, to her husband. Even though he was the Shaman King, Yoh was completely wrapped around his wife's pinky, and he doesn't even complain.

Anyway, the Tao family was the complete opposite of the Asakuras...for in this family, it was the men who called the shots. It was the men who ruled, indicated by the way Tao Ran obediently followed her husband's wishes to the end, as Pilica had observed during the dinner.

...Ren's father. Her jaw tightened as she thought about Tao En. She could feel a slight, heaving constriction inside her chest. Right after Ren had showed her to her room, just before they had gone to dinner, she had dismissed the sinking feeling she felt inside her heart during that initial meeting with Ren's father. She had pushed away all thoughts about him not liking her, merely regarding everything she felt as just figments of her imagination and had no truth in them whatsoever. That Tao En was just in a very bad mood because of something, and it has nothing to do with her, and it was simply coincidence that he happened to pass his glance by her at the same time that he remembered what he was angry at.

As it turned out, much to her distress, reassuring herself had been all for nothing. She should have expected the worst from the man, and needn't have bothered wasting her time trying to think positively of things. Tao En clearly disliked her--and he had showed that more often than was necessary all throughout dinner. True, he didn't speak much--he rarely ever did, and was usually aloof for the most part, according to Ren--but sometimes, the simplest gestures were more meaningful than the most eloquently uttered statements. En's displeasure was clearly written in his whole face--though Pilica never looked at him much--but she didn't need to look at him to know. She could feel his displeasure, his extreme dislike--for her. It was quite unnerving to feel someone glaring at you darkly every time you spoke to one of the other people around you. En's displeasure bordered on disgust, even, and he harbored so much of that feeling inside of him that every single time his gaze happened to pass by Pilica, his hatred towards her was practically tangible.

Sighing deeply, she fingered the cream-colored quilted bedcovers, forcibly trying to push the thoughts of Tao En's hatred for her aside. If he really, really didn't like her, that was his problem, not hers. After all, she didn't come here for Tao En, she came here for his son. For Ren. She wanted to get to know him better. She wanted to understand him...for she didn't--not fully, at least. The part of him that loved her--that she understood, but the others--although she had been enlightened by her brother--still, they were quite a mystery to her. And the thing was, Tao En was probably the key to understanding his son...she could see plainly that the man had been responsible for the way Ren has turned out. She knew well enough that the Tao Ren she knew now was not the same as the boy that En raised and brought out into the world. It had been a blessing that she, her brother, and the rest of their friends came into Ren's life when they did--for the most part, that was what had inevitably changed him.

And me...she wondered when, exactly, had she become a part of the picture of his life. During the wedding? That would be the simplest answer. But as he had confessed to her--or rather, as he had confessed to little Ren-chan, that thing between the two of them started way earlier than that. Way before the wedding. Way before that time when she was sixteen, and he, seventeen. They've had a connection for a long, long time...they just didn't know it. They didn't become aware of it...until that time, at the wedding. Before that, she only knew him as the young boy who couldn't stop arguing with her brother over the littlest things. The boy who was shorter than everyone else...except for Manta, that is. The boy who had arrogantly named the team comprising of him, her brother, and Chocolove as "Team The Ren." He had been nothing but a mere presence, an annoyance, the bane of her brother's existence (and hers), and one of Horo-horo's biggest rivals for the throne of the Shaman King.

Then.

When the throne of the Shaman King was no longer something to be dueled upon (as it had already been taken by Asakura Yoh), she thought that was the end of Horo-horo's constant brawn with Ren...but that was wishful thinking on her part, for it never came to her mind that no matter what happens, the two of them would always find something they can argue and fight to the death about...right down to food, to clothes, to bed sheets, and even over how much pressure one should exert upon the table when one is eating. Being their constant referee was so aggravating that sometimes either she or Jun resorted to giving the both of them one good hard smack on the head each. That had been easy, since at that time, her brother wasn't so tall, and Ren was about her height. The problem came when damn puberty chose to hit them and both boys...suddenly became men, right before her very eyes. For her brother, it came when he was sixteen...and it had been the same for Ren. Sixteen.

She had watched him grow up right before her eyes...it would have been easy to fall in love with him during that span of time, and yet...even then, she hadn't been exactly aware of her feelings. Or...maybe she was, but she refused to acknowledge them...not until six years ago. I had to be that close to him for me to realize it, she thought wryly. A purposeful touch, an embrace, and a haphazard kiss...and only then did my feelings finally emerge.

How very, very...strange.

A knock sounded on the door, startling her thoughts. "...Pilica?"

"Ren-kun?" Pilica rose up from the bed and crossed the room towards the door.

He smiled slightly upon seeing her. "...Hi," he said with uncertainty.

"Hi," she greeted back, smiling brightly. "...What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to go on that talk with..." she fought the urge to choke the name out. "...En-sama."

A frown. "I was." He answered without enthusiasm. "But I wanted to drop by and see you for a moment." He leaned against the wall by the door. "You know, it's not necessary to address him by any honorific. He doesn't deserve anyone's respect."

Pilica sat down on the settee with a sigh. "...He's still your father," she countered quietly.

Ren looked up to the ceiling and exhaled with resignation. "Not by choice."

A long, long silence followed, hovering in between them like an invisible wall.

Ren broke the silence with a sigh. "...I'd better go," he decided with extreme reluctance, bending over and leaning forwards to kiss her cheek. "I'll see you again before I go to bed. Bason?"

"Hai, Bocchama?" The power spirit materialized beside him.

"Stay with her for the meantime. Don't let her out of your sight. Pilica," he gave her a smile. "...Bason can tour you around the estate for the remainder of the evening, if you want. He can translate things for you."

Pilica nodded gratefully. "Arigatou, Ren-kun...Bason."

"It will be my pleasure!" Bason answered with a gracious air.

"Good." Ren paused. "I won't be long." He squeezed her hand one last time before exiting, silently hoping he would be able to live up to what he had told her.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Where does that lead to?" Pilica pointed to the right side of the pathway across the second floor hallway as she walked alongside Ren's power spirit.

"To Ren-bocchama's training quarters and his office, Pilica-chama," the spirit answered.

"And the left side?"

"...To En-sama's quarters...and his study."

Pilica's stomach clenched at the name. "That's...that's where Ren-kun is...isn't that right?"

"H...hai," Bason responded hesitantly.

A couple of minutes of silence passed as the azure-haired young woman pondered on her thoughts. Finally, after taking a long, deep breath, she spoke. "Bason-san, do you think..." She paused, unsure. "Do you think...uh..."

"Hai, Pilica-chama?" The warrior spirit prompted.

A sigh. "Never mind." She wanted to ask if the spirit could somehow...sense Tao En's...dislike for her, but she didn't want to seem insecure, or paranoid. Upon taking several more steps, she realized...whether she had voiced out her feelings or not, the spirit could have probably sensed them, anyway...

"Do not worry," She turned around and saw Bason flashing her a reassuring smile. "En-sama will never harm you. Bocchama and I will see to that." He added.

She managed a small smile. "Arigatou..." She continued to walk, with the spirit alongside her, to nowhere in particular. She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't even realize where she was going.

Abruptly, she and Bason paused in their tracks upon hearing a couple of voices. Loud...yet somehow incoherent, shouting voices.

Pilica stared with puzzlement at the large, magnificent door about several feet from where she was standing. "When did I get here...?" She looked over at the path that she had taken several minutes ago...and awareness washed over her as she realized that, somehow or other, in some way, her feet had brought her towards this place...she was a couple of steps short from Tao En's study...and the shouting voices, which she recognized as Ren and his father's, were gradually growing louder and louder as she got nearer.

The door was slightly ajar. Pilica's brows furrowed, wondering with slight perplexity why her feet had chosen to bring her here...when she wasn't even supposed to be here. She definitely had no right to be here. She turned around. "We...shouldn't be here," she whispered to Bason, ignoring the distinctive voices she was hearing, now as loud and as clear and plain as day. She thought she heard her name being mentioned at least once or twice by Ren, but she didn't know enough Mandarin to understand what they were talking about.

However, one thing's for sure--whenever Ren mentioned her, she noticed that En's voice rose about several decibels higher, and it was laced quite visibly with pure, unadulterated contempt. "We should go," she said again, in a low tone. "Bason-san, let's--" she paused abruptly as the two men, for some reason, suddenly switched and started speaking in Japanese.

"Do you HONESTLY think THAT matters to ME?" Ren. "Your opinion does NOT have any value whatsoever to me, Father. It never has, and it NEVER will."

"Be that as it may," En's voice countered. "...She doesn't suit you at ALL. She is out of place in our family. Just look at the way she carries herself." An arrogant sniff. "And her clothes...Ren, the only women I know who wear things like...THOSE--are whores. PROSTITUTES, son." He added with emphasis.

"Her clothes are DECENT!" Ren retorted in her defense. "She doesn't care much for style, or fashion. She uses those clothes for gardening. She's a very practical person--"

"There's nothing you can say that will change my mind about her." En interrupted. "I KNOW who she is. I know WHAT she is," he added pointedly. "...And I DON'T like it." He paused contemptuously. "Her kind...DISGUSTS me."

Pilica stared at the opened door for several minutes, her eyes wide, her fists clenching and unclenching at her sides as she tried to hold back what she was feeling.

"P...Pilica-chama..." Bason uttered her name with hesitation, unsure of what he was going to tell her after everything they had heard. He knew what the young woman was feeling. It was washing over him like a tidal wave. "I..."

"Let's go back to my room, Bason-san," She choked, her voice barely above a whisper. She didn't want to listen to them anymore. She'd heard enough. She wondered if En somehow knew that she was here...which was why he had switched to a language she understood. He must have wanted her to hear what he thought of her. Wanted her to feel just EXACTLY what he thought she was. He wanted to hurt her.

She rushed across the hallway as fast as she could, hastily wiping away the tears that were falling down her cheeks out of their own accord.

...He definitely succeeded.

TSUZUKU.

End notes:

Aargh. That was very, very, very, VERY weird._ I really need to get over my LXJ overdose soon...*raps head on the cemented wall of her room repeatedly*

Uhm...if you've read The Venice Incident, you'd probably notice that I have this obsession for four-poster beds.^^ Yeah, I do. I want to own a four-poster. I'll buy one someday...^^

Feedback is most appreciated!