Serious Disaster by Akai Kuu

Chapter 2: Noojie-Woojie and the Sock

The Al Bhed camp was in fact situated in the very cave a certain dragon had taken residence in a year ago, just before a most memorable concert. It was rather spacious, but the various elevations made pitching a camp for thirty confusing. Still, the fiends within were easily cleared out, and the entrance was small enough to guard just as easily. The snores and hushed whispers of the expeditioners echoed within the shell of the cave, while thunder and lightning raged on outside.

Being an unexpected addition, Gippal had been instructed to sleep quite close to the entrance, meaning that in addition to the schemes that danced in his head, born from his conversation with Rikku, he had less protection from the sound of thunder -not to mention the three rather boisterous guards that kept watch that night. Every five minutes, it seemed, they would be carrying on at whatever rodent scurried across the shale floor.

With these annoyances, Gippal had finally fallen asleep at perhaps two in the morning. His dreams were filled with nothing exactly noteworthy, although there was an interesting one involving two hypello, a pink shoopuff, and a jumbo cactuar composed entirely of cheese. However, after scarcely two hours of sleep, a soft yet annoying blipping sound again stirred Gippal from his slumber.

"Gippal," said a masculine voice quietly, "Gippal, are you there?" His eyes red, and his hair sticking up everywhre, a sullen-faced Gippal snatched up the comm sphere and stared at the face of Mevyn Nooj with gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry; I was trying to contact a friend of mine -I seem to have stumbled upon the Living Dead."

"Yeesh Noojster, you sure do pick the time to actually develop a sense of humor," the Al Bhed muttered.

Nooj's face smirked. "Nice hair," he commented. "You could go into that new 'punk' craze that's sweeping Spira with all of you kids. Pierce your nose and you're set."

Boy, Nooj was in a funny mood tonight. "Look, why are you bothering me at this hour of the night? Don't you have better things to do?" He waved his hand, trying to make a dismissive motion to the comm sphere, but his gestures were way off the mark. "Go have some fun with that stalker clown of yours..."

Nooj chuckled, adjusting his glasses. "Gippal," he said slowly, "you do realize you're the head of an organization?"

"I try not to think about that," he muttered. "It makes me feel like an old fart like you."

"Yes, well, we old farts have our responsibilities, and--"

"Ooooh no," Gippal moaned, resting his face in his palms. "Are you gonna lecture me? You're gonna lecture me! You're gonna start walking about how you had to talk fifteen miles in the snow, barefoot, with a--"

"GIPPAL!" He peeped through a crack in his fingers. "The Machine Faction has been worried -this is the second time you've just up and disappeared!"

"I left a message with Stigma!" Gippal protested, looking up.

"Yes Gippal," Nooj said patiently. "You did. You said you were going out. You failed to mention, however, where you were going, why you were going there, for how long, the urgency, the instructions on what to do in your absense..."

The younger man sighed in defeat. Was there no winning with this guy? "OK, OK. I'm going to Bevelle -I might be gone for a few weeks. Keep digging stuff up. Happy?"

Happy was perhaps not the word, but Gippal had certainly piqued Nooj's curiosity. "Bevelle?" He quired, almost breaking his perpetual monotone. "Because of the situation with Baralai? Gippal, there's no need -Paine is there, acting as bodyguard--"

"But Rikku and I have this great plan!" he blurted. OK, so he had just tossed this plan together that night while failing to sleep. He thought it was a pretty good idea, and Rikku probably would too. After all, she was involved in it. So, she, uh, had better...

Nooj looked quite skeptical. "You and Rikku have a great idea? Does this involve things exploding?"

"No, but I'm sure we could work that in somehow," he joked. He looked at the exasperated image of Nooj with earnest eyes. "Noojster, Rikku knows what's up with the spheres."

"So does Paine," the Mevyn of the Youth League replied calmly, causing Gippal's little happy balloon to deflate. "How will that help us?"

The gears in Gippal's half-awake brain turned slowly. He knew it was a good plan -it had to be... But then why wasn't Paine acting on it...?

Because she was watching Baralai!

"Look, we've gotta plan -tell Paine and Baralai that we'll be droppin' in with in the next couple a' days, but for them to keep it quiet." He paused. "Ah, you might wanna change my location for the folks back at the Faction. Heh, they get protective of me."

Nooj raised a brow, neither saying nay nor binding himself to the duty Gippal had assigned him. "What shall I tell them?"

Gippal shrugged. "Aw, I dunno Noojie-Woojie -just make up some BS, be creative!" Nooj scowled.

"Do not call me that," he could faintly be heard below Gippal's laughter. A blonde head poked into the tent.

"Gippal, breakfast," the male Al Bhed reported before slipping back out. Gippal scratched his head.

"Woo, early risers here. Well, take care Noojie-Woojie; an' don't sweat it. It's under control!"

With a click, Nooj's image vanished, and the day braced itself as Gippal rushed outside to greet it.

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Nearly twelve hours later, a perky form zipped across the Thunder Plains. Rikku hummed the song composed impromptu by Shinra merrily, having snuck away from the overseerers and gained her freedom, if only for a little while. Everyone had been distracted by the arrival of the Machine Faction's leader; unlike her, although she was considered a hero of sorts, Gippal had been considered a master of machina from a very young age, and was well-respected by most. Only problem was, he was an idiot in all other departments, such as, say, personal safety. She would have been happy to see her friend, but, knowing Gippal, she wouldn't be seeing much of him at all before he left -and that would be soon. Gippal never liked to hold still, especially in the case of an emergancy, such as the one that already appeared to be taking place. He also had a habit of not telling anyone when or where he was going, instead simply shrugging and walking away. Due to these habits, Rikku could not help but wonder if she would see her comrade again in quite some time.

As it happened, they were fated to meet much sooner than she could have possibly suspected.Before she had even finished sorting through the plots and thoughts in her little head, she happened to stumble upon Gippal in the metal structure on the Plains. Quite literally.

"Gyaaaaaa!" She cried out, falling on her face. He snorted and rolled over, mumbling something about dairy products.

"Gippal," she wailed, the wail, his name pronounced and punctuated in exactly the same way as, she felt, the 1000 times she had said it since she had met the man (It was in fact only the 511th), "what are you doing?!"

"Sleepin'?" he offered, rolling over again. This time, he managed to snag one of her socks on his eyepatch. The fabric stretched, causing Rikku to stumble once again, landing right on top of him.

"We have an undeniable chemistry, don'tcha think?"

"Oooh, shut up and help me get outta this!"

The ordeal that followed was interesting, to say the least. Gippal's eyepatch was constructed in much the same way as a watch band, with metallic bars heald together on some elastic-like whole. The two of them struggled for about five minutes, before Rikku removed her shoe and sock, leaving Gippal with a white stocking stapled to the side of his head.

She giggled madly. "What?" he asked incredulously.

"You could make your life easier if you took off that eyepatch," she giggled.

"It's nothing exciting," he mumbled as rain began to pour around them. Rikku blinked, twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

"What's 'nothing exciting'?" She registered a faint ripping noise.

"Beneath the eyepatch," he said through a yawn. "It's just a bad eye. Here." He handed her her sock, held at arm's length away from his body as if it were some sort of venomous trout, and hostile at that.

"You ripped it!" She exclaimed in anguish.

"Oh for the love of...!" Gippal snatched the sock back, making mock spell-casting motions with one hand. "Hoodoo woodoo soodoo voodoo!" He flung it back in her face. "OK OK, it's fixed -can I have a nap now?"

She didn't seem impressed.

The sights and sounds of the excavation camp dulled around them through cascading grey, the rain sliding from the roof to make each side of the structure its own waterfall. Gippal sat upright now, his knees bent, his elbow resting on them, and his forehead cupped in that hand. He watched lazily, and with mild amusement, as his friend meticulously replaced her torn sock and her shoe, the concentration etched on her features reminiscent of one dismantling a potentially dangerous machina. Gippal allowed himself to nod off...

"So, why're ya so sleepy?" Gippal heard Rikku's voice say. Slowly, he opened his eyes, to find himself staring directly into hers -about two inches away from his face.

"GAAH!! Personal space, woman!! Personal space!!" She flew backward onto her rump, but apparantly that did nothing to lessen the hilarity she found in the situation. "Why do you think I'm sleepy? I didn't sleep!"

"Yeah, but I know you," she grinned. "You're never one to pass up a nap -c'mon, tell me what's on your mind!"

"Guardian. Sphere hunter. Psychiatric help -five gil?"

Her reply was a broad smile. "Something like that. -hey, are you worried about Baralai?"

"Not anymore," Gippal beamed, his fatigue vanishing. "I've gotta great plan."

"Does this involve things exploding?" she asked instantly. He regarded her with a blank stare. "What?" she blinked.

"Nothing," he muttered. "Uh, no, it doesn't.. yet.. See, I'm thinking that if the answers are anywhere, they've gotta be in Via Infinito. He busted those spheres down there, right? So all we gotta do--"

"WAIT."

Gippal wasn't much of a man for metaphors, but at that moment, it seemed as though the Soundtrack of the Universe had screeched to a painful, forced halt.

"That was great, up 'til the whole 'we' part, Gippal."

He blinked. "Eh?" Rikku clenched her fists, stomped her feet, and screamed louder than the thunder:

"I never ever ever ever EVER EVER EVER wanna go back in there again!!!"

Gippal shot upright, visible eye wide. "But I need a guide!"

"Then have Paine or Yunie do it!" spat the other Al Bhed, folding her arms.

"But they're busy!"

She sighed in exasperation, her wild glop of beads and feathers falling around and into her face. "OK," she said levelly. Gippal leaned forward, gingerly lifting a beaded braid between his thumb and forefinger to peer into one of her smouldering eyes. "You want guide? Jump down a bunch of holes until you die, ok?"

He snorted and released her hair in annoyance, causing the bead on the end to thud gently against her eyelid.

"That wasn't nice," they said at the same time. The regarded each other blankly for half a moment, before Rikku broke the silence.

"I'm serious! That's what it's like! That's all the direction you need!"

"How do I get out?"

"Gah, blue glyphs! Stand on those! You, uh," she flicked her hands absently, nearly bapping Gippal in the nose, "teleport or something!"

Smiling triumphantly, Gippal placed a hand on her shoulder. "See? I woulda never thought of that! That's why I need you -I could uh, die to death down there..."

Wow Gip. The peril. Smooth. He cradled his head in his free hand. She'll be crying into her pillow over that one...

It was quiet. The thick curtain of rain pouring from the roof of the metallic gazebo muted the thunder. Not changing the angle of his head, Gippal's single visible eye peered intently at his companion through his mussed bangs. She seemed hesitant...

She chewed nervously on a strand of her hair. "You'll go either way, huh?" Gippal's slanted grin slid into its accustomed position.

"Yup."

The curtain of rain was split by the head of one of the overseers, who immediately began barking at Rikku to get back to work, because they needed her help, and this was no time to slack and yadda yadda yadda. The Gullwing's face changed -she was listening to this clown! Scowling, Gippal made himself scarce, his punkish hair slicked flat against his skull by rushing water as he head out under open sky. What the hell was his problem? Maybe her cousin got most of the credit, but Rikku helped save the world twice. Couldn't this guy give her a slightly higher showing in the respect department?

He began to laugh -he was demanding respect for Cid's girl now. Shaking his head, he made his way back toward his tent; she seemed to have accepted her "duty," so he was going to have to make this little trek alone.

He so was not looking forward to it.

Swaggering across the Plains, he attracted a few stares from those who had not seen him the day before, and curious glances from thet others who had. He was famous, even moreso than before -that fact, as always, was currently having the same impact on Gippal's train of thought as a fly typically has against a windshield; the man was thinking.

He knew as well as anyone that as far as guiding went, his little buddy Rikku... well, she kind of sucked at it. But after bumping into her, he had secretly vowed to get her to join him. Just because... Well, when was the last time they had hung out together? They were always palling around at Home, but then he'd left to try to join the Crusaders when he was, what, 15? Crimson Squad at 16, Machine Faction at 17, Vegnagun at 18. "Heh, I could die at age 20 and say I've lived a full life," he chuckled, blanching as his words came out sounding somewhat like Nooj.

But anyway. In the few times he had bumped into her in the last four years, Gippal had been reminded how much he loved to harass her. Hell, teasing her had gotten that much more fun with time -what material he had to work with now!

Clang.

In his Deep Thoughts, Gippal had wandered smack-dab into the metal tent pole. He glanced around himself nervously, checking if anyone had seen him. Either they all had miraculously looked the other way at the same moment, or they were doing a marvelous job of playing dumb. Satisfied nonetheless, he headed inside, gathered his belongings, and set out toward Macalania.

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After the overseer had finished chewing her out, Rikku maintained her repentant expression long enough to allow him to turn around and begin walking away, at which point she promptly stuck out her tongue. "Meanie," she whispered, whirling on her heel. She thrust her hands into her jacket pockets as she shuffled away in the opposite direction. "I mean, it woulda' been one thing if he'd just said 'Get back to work, Rikku' -but did he hafta' carry on for, like, an hour?!" She pouted. That particular overseer, Klax, had always been no fun -he reminded her vaguely of a certain grumpy guardian she had travelled with once, only less tolerable and much less likely to save one's butt from a fifty foot tall fiend.

"Oooh, where did that one-eyed dork go?" She had wanted to tell him her plan for sneaking out of the camp so they could go to Bevelle - she had decided that Via Infinito was nothing compared to Klax and her father's lectures. She wandered around the site, eventually peeping into the cavern which housed their camp. She figured that a frusterated Gippal might actually opt to get some sleep in his tent. Instead, she found a cursing Brother disassembling it.

"What're you doing, you dork?!" She yelled, causing Brother to drop the tent pole he was holding onto his foot. If Brother still wanted a way to get back at Gippal for Felina, this would almost do it -no one tampered with Gippal's nap time and lived to tell the tale. Still, as get-backs go, it was pretty lame. "He's got all his stuff in there -you are sooooo immature!" Brother glared.

"Idiot! He left already!" Noting the crestfallen expression on his little sister's face, Brother took his opportunity to jab. "Is little Rikku said her boyfriend has lef- EEEYAH!"

She smirked triumphantly as her brother waved his arms wildly, trying to tame the surges of electricity that zipped through his mohawk. "That's payback from when I was little, big guy!" His cursings only made her giggle -he was annoying, but Brother was excellent comic relief and sometimes good to have around. "Aw, don't feel bad -I've been practicing!" Getting no response other than bad words in all the languages of Spira, Rikku just watched him for awhile, her hands clasped behind her back as she rocked back and forth. "Well, uhm," she said slowly after perhaps five minutes of nonstop Tourette's, "bye-bye!"

She zipped outside, leaving her eccentric sibling to his ranting, raving, and general cursing of all black magics.

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The difference in terrain was sudden, as always. He had heard that Macalania Woods was dead now; it was only half-true. The forest was still there, but the magic was gone. Nothing sparkled anymore; the plants were a dull brown-green, the trees a gnarled ashen. Gippal wrinkled his nose as his boot stirred up the musty odor of decaying leaf.

There was no music left in Macalania Woods.

But Gippal didn't really think about any of this, because he didn't really care. He was not a tree-hugging hippie. The foreign sound of a faint owl's hoot greeted his ears, and a giant leech lept onto his back.

"You're leaving without me?" Rikku pouted, her legs fastened about his wast and her arms slug around his neck.

"Can't... breathe...." With a quiet 'oops,' Rikku loosened her hold. Gippal turned his head, trying in vain to get a good look at his passenger.

"Whatever happened to your 'duties', Cid's girl?" He smiled inwardly as he felt her laughter against his back.

"Duties suck."

He broke into a grin, then a laugh. Things were working out after all. "True as all hell, man. Believe me-" He smirked. "I know."

"So, I can still come, riiiiiight?" Gippal rubbed his chin.


"Aw, fine -but gerroffame! No free rides!" Besides, it was hard to carry a BFG on your shoulder and a human being on your back.

Rikku giggled and slid to the ground, now half-walking, half-bouncing at his side, feeling the need to voice her opinion on each and every bit of shrubbery they passed. Thus went the trip to Bevelle: bantering, laughing, and, naturally, smacking each other upside the head a few times.

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A/N: Thank you all for taking the time to review. ^^ I will update when I have time, as I do have a life. Enthusiasm is appreciated all the same. But! Now, a word from our sponsors!!

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