Chapter 6: Facts and Figures

Hitomi breathed in deeply trying to relive the life she had years after that painful event that took the lives of her friends; and that caused the shadow dimming the part of her mind which held all of the experiences she had had before it.

Could she do it? Must she go through again the bitterness? the pain? the sadness?

'Have courage Hitomi; you've got to be able to look back without blaming and pitying yourself. Otherwise everything you had worked for, every ounce of effort you had exerted to try to find and put yourself back together would mean nothing,' she heard a small voice called inside her.

"Me and my friends—Yukari and Amano, we met an accident barely five years ago. An accident that took their lives..." Tears started clouding up her emerald orbs. "They died on the spot while I only suffered a head concussion and a few cuts and bruises."

Merle was all but silent, listening intently to every word escaping Hitomi's lips.

"Due to the severe blow in my head, I was in a coma for a month. And when I was able to pull through, I couldn't remember anything but the terror brought about by that horrible accident," Hitomi paused, her face revealing the battling emotions within her.

"Day after day, the memory of that fateful day kept on repeating on my mind. For a while, I thought it would never end. I tried to forget about it, I really tried, but I just can't.....I can't....." Her unshed tears finally found their way to roll freely in her cheeks.

"Until now, I wished I could have died with them; it would have served me right..... It just wasn't fair that I was the only one to live....."

"Hitomi, don't say that," Merle was beginning to cry herself. She couldn't believe what her friend had gone through after returning to her world. 'She must have suffered a lot.'

Hitomi shook her head. "No, you don't understand..... If only.....if only I have the power to undo everything that happened, I wouldn't let them die. I would have gladly traded my life for them. They deserve to live more than I do."

"Hitomi....." Merle bit back her lip. She hated seeing Hitomi like this- full of pain and misery. She could endure her snobbishness, even her not-so-good temper, but not this.

"Yukari and Amano, they have a bright future ahead of them. They could have been married and have lots of children," Hitomi said ruefully.

"Things happen for a reason Hitomi. Don't be too hard on yourself. Their lives are not in your hands. Maybe it's their fate to die at a young age."

"I just don't want to see people around me suffer and die Merle. Especially the ones I love. I'd do anything to protect them, to shield them from harm even if it caused me my own life."

"People die Hitomi. Accept that. Much as we want everyone we cared for to live forever, things just don't work that way. All we could do is to relish the moments we had with them; to continue living for ourselves and for others," Merle spoke with a seriousness that was unusual in her. 'Now Merle, where did that come from? Are you really the one speaking?' Merle's alter ego tugged at her. 'Guess I have matured more than I thought I had.'

"Oh well, enough of crying and feeling miserable Hitomi. Let's get down to business. Tell me about this Kenji guy," Merle said; back in her jolly old self, trying her best to change the subject. 'Lord Van, you had a thing coming. I hope you can handle this.'

Hitomi wiped her tears, despite herself, a smile beginning to form in the corners of her lips. 'I like her.'

"Kenji along with my family helped me get over everything. He made me look again at life with a new light and perspective. With him, I feel at peace with myself; no worries, no doubts bugging me. I owe him a lot," she gazed down at her hands only to find the glimmering diamond of her engagement ring.

"Tell me Hitomi, do you really love him?" Merle asked, her eyes piercing Hitomi's face; searching for something.

Hitomi's head sprung up immediately at her "Of course! What kind of question is that? I do love him. I wouldn't marry him if I feel otherwise."

"Hey! I'm just asking here. Why do you sound so defensive?" An evil grin was hiding in Merle's face. 'You still have a pretty good chance Lord Van!' she silently exclaimed to herself.

"I am not!"

"Oh yes-you-do! You see Hitomi, you're not a good liar!" Merle tapped her finger on top of Hitomi's nose.

"Why- why you little piece of a cat!"

"You don't really love him, do you? You just feel grateful to him for everything he had done for you," she said, certainty lacing her words.

"No! You're completely mistaken!" Hitomi retorted indignantly.

"And that is why you're marrying him, 'coz you were obliged to; only to repay him and have yourself the peace of mind you're in dire need of. You think he was the only one who could save you from your misery," Merle went on relentlessly; she has every reason to do so. The way she could see through Hitomi, she knew she was right.

Hitomi sat in silence, trying desperately to convince herself. 'No, I love him.....don't I? But if I do love him why would I want to run away from our wedding?' She pondered on, absorbed in her thoughts; lack of confidence and confusion mirrored in her eyes. A part of her wanted to agree to what Merle has just said.

Merle shifted her gaze outside the window, it was still dawn, but the sun's morning rays were beginning to peek in the horizon. She sighed, 'So much for her badly needed rest, and mine too.'

"I think it's time for both of us to sleep Hitomi. I still have a lot of things to do tomorrow. Classes, classes I just hate them. Who needs to be a prim and proper lady anyway? I wish my teachers would just let me be. I'm happy the way I am." Merle got on the strike of having her self-narrations again.

However Merle was cut short when she noticed Hitomi was staring hard on the bed they were sitting on, like something in it was far more interesting than listening to her babbling. "Hey Hitomi! Are you listening?" Merle almost shouted near her ears to get her attention from the forsaken bed.

Hitomi looked up dazedly. "Huh? What are you saying? Sorry my mind is just....." she trailed off. She felt like her mind was so crowded with today's occurrences and of things she learned and confused of, that her brain's ability to think straight abandoned her.

"Drifting elsewhere?" Merle continued. 'I figured.'

"Yeah, I guess so."

"What I'm trying to say is let's get to sleep and leave things the way they are. There's a lot of time to deal with them tomorrow. Lord Van will help you out."

"Van....." she spoke softly. Hitomi seemed again to find interest in the bed's mattress.

"I'll tell him first thing in the morning that you want to go home," Merle said, and then as an afterthought, "I bet he's going to freak out."

"What?"

"Oh, nevermind. And by the way, you can change your fancy dress tomorrow that is if you feel inclined to; I'll give you some comfortable clothes."

Hitomi muttered a soft 'thank you', and lain on the bed curled up at her side, her back on Merle.

"Don't worry too much Hitomi. Everything's going to be all right tomorrow." Merle assured her. She took a glance at Hitomi and with a sigh, the catgirl laid-back and started drifting off to sleep.

"I really hope so....." Hitomi prayed before her tired body and mind finally had their rest.

In Asturia

"Dryden why are you still up this late?" Millerna asked her husband.

She woke up sometime in the night and found an empty bed beside her. She figured he might be in the study and rummaging with his books again. 'Old habits just never die,' she thought to herself as she made her way to the palace's library. She found him in the midst of papers and scrolls lying in a mess all over the room, deeply concentrated on reading a huge old book.

Dryden lifted his gaze from the book's already crisp yellowish tinge pages and looked at her wife, seemingly not surprised that her wife's figure suddenly occupied the frame of the door. "We need to go to Fanelia early morning tomorrow my queen. There's something of great importance that Van needs to know." He informed her, ignoring her first question.

Millerna hurriedly walked towards Dryden who was sitting in the edge of the large wooden desk, her face concerned. "What? Why?" When she was only a foot away from him, she immediately recognized the book's rare hard bound black covering with a kind of ancient symbol in the middle. "Wait a minute, was that the book you bought from some merchant that came this afternoon?"

"Yes, and it contains a lot of valuable facts and information that might concern the whole of Gaea." He replied with certainty.

"Like what?"

"I'll tell you all about it on our way to Fanelia."

A/n: I'm glad most of you liked my last chappie. Thought a little humor every once in a while would serve to be a good break from most of d mushiness this story has.

I just love Merle!! Sorry if no Van in this chapter. Wait up till I'm done with the next! Anyways, what do u think about this one minna? Review pleaseee! ()

And to my reviewers.....

anime-chic, Shadow-Crystal, Midnight-Blue:: thanks a lot for adding me to your fav list. I'm really so very glad u like my story (-)

Little Devil:: thank u, promise I'll update as soon as I can.....

PoPo:: I'm sorry I know my chapters weren't dat long, my fault, don't worry I'll try to make them longer.....

holyfree:: thank u for giving me dat reminder about Hitomi, I promise I'll work it out.....

Kaion Vin:: abt ur question, I'm not really sure but from what I gathered, in Japan most children usually call their grandmother Obaa-chan, 'coz its less formal and acquires a more friendly relationship between them-

Esther, Dalafanole, and Night of the Raven and to others who reviewed my past chapters, a lot of thanks. Please don't fail to continue reading and reviewing the upcoming chapters. All of you really do inspire me to do my best

Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne