Always My Soul
By: dragonfly-rising
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters
Kagome cast a glance at Miroku across their campfire; he was avoiding making eye contact with her. She knew she had been distant to the monk but could not help that she had developed a deeper need for privacy. She was now more apt to ignore questions directed at her then to answer them. Kaede had been right when she had said the power had a mind of its own. Her own natural inclinations were being flung aside for the power's purpose. Sometimes it seemed she was just a passenger in her own body. She had woken up that morning with a feeling of urgency, as if she needed to get somewhere very soon. She had no idea why.
She looked out into the darkening forest, pulling her knees up to her chest and placing her chin on a knee. For a moment she felt the same flutter she had experienced earlier from Miroku. She turned her head slowly making herself seem nonchalant, even as her heart raced in fear for her friend. He was holding his right hand in his left, a mask of calm on his face but he could not hide the pain in his eyes. Kagome had no idea how she knew what was happening but the knowledge was there. She had to speak with Miroku...alone.
She rose slowly, stretching as she did so, working the kinks out of her body from sitting. She knew all three sets of eyes followed her movements. She didn't bother trying to soothe their egos by excusing her behavior. It would just be the same tomorrow; she had no real control over that aspect of herself, nor did she care to try to get it back. At this moment only one thing mattered to her, only one person.
She stepped away from her place, "Miroku, come with me"
His eyes held a denial that she was not going to agree with in the least. She glared at him openly, placing her hands on her hips.
"Shall we talk here and now?" she asked threateningly.
"Talk? Talk about what Miroku?" Sango asked confused.
Miroku's eyes narrowed at Kagome in anger.
~Please come with me Miroku...please let me do this thing as well...please don't fight me ~ Kagome pleaded with him silently.
Perhaps her dread conveyed itself to him because he rose slowly, losing the angry look to his face in a second.
"We just need to talk Sango...don't worry it isn't anything important" Miroku assured the youkai exterminator.
Sango looked from him to Kagome and back before settling for the fire as a focal point. Kagome knew she was aware Miroku was lying, but it didn't matter. What did matter was that Inuyasha stayed well away from her and Miroku while they were gone.
She looked over at him. Inuyasha just held her gaze. She imagined she must look silly to him, acting in such a commanding way. She felt as if she should explain to him the things that had been running through her mind but as she looked at him she knew he would never understand. He had never had his individuality swept away like so much trash, and had it replaced with something not quite right, not quiet him. He would in no way understand how awful and wonderful it felt to be as she was now.
She turned from him as tears stung her eyes and strode away, knowing Miroku followed at a slower pace. The monk was afraid of her and what she would say. He had every reason to be afraid. What she was going to reveal to him was not going to be easy for him or her to deal with at first.
She stopped in a clearing far enough away from the hanyou's hearing to be safe from interruption. She felt some of her old self rush back just enough for her to bow her head in sorrow before she turned to Miroku.
"Go ahead and say it Kagome" Miroku insisted gently " I know already but I want to hear you say it"
Kagome lifted her head and gazed at him steadily. Miroku her friend would die soon and she had to tell him that it was her fault.
"Your curse...it is strengthening in leaps and bounds. Because I am as I am, because you travel near me. The pain will get worse, and if you use your Air Rip at all while you are with me...it will take you"
Her voice did not waiver once during this recitation of his oncoming death sentence, though her heart was breaking the entire time. His face clouded only momentarily before he smiled at her softly and shrugged.
"If that is the way I am meant to die then so be it Kagome" he said
"Fool" she whispered angrily.
"What would you have me do Kagome? Tell me because I don't have it in me to fight fate for much longer" Miroku admitted roughly.
"Fight Miroku...you don't have to lay down and take it you know...nothing can stop you from fighting you have a choice...I have a choice but only if you are willing to fight." She informed him her anger finding new heights.
"What choice do I have?" He asked her suspiciously.
Kagome felt a pang of torment fill her spirit. The way he was looking at her at that moment could not have hurt any worse. Even Inuyasha could not cut her to the core as Miroku did now. She blinked back tears, hoping her face held every bit of her desire to help him and held out her hand. He stepped back, obviously afraid. The tears now pooled and slipped down her cheeks as she realized how little he trusted her.
"Please Miroku" she pleaded.
His face darkened and she could hear his denial before he even voiced it.
"No Kagome, there's nothing you can do." He asserted.
She bit her lip against the angry words tearing at her throat. She needed so badly to help him her soul was raging, even her powers, so against this cursed monk seemed determined to do what she wanted. Without her planning in advanced her hand crept up, tore the charm from her neck, and tossed it to the ground. Instantly her miko energy wrapped around her body and with it came a searing ache. Miroku cried out and fell to his knees cradling his right hand to his chest. She moved swiftly, kneeling in front of him and allowed her miko side to take over.
"Give me your hand monk, you will die by my will or live. Either way I will not allow that youkai Naraku to have your soul. It will never be his, do you understand me?" She asked furiously.
Even in his pain Miroku answered her.
"And what if you do not survive Kagome?"
"Then you will have one less friend in this world who would willingly give up their life for you"
Kagome knew her real self was caught up in those words and encouraged this other self to make this sacrifice if indeed that was what it was.
"You imagine I have so many I am willing to give you up." Miroku demanded lifting his head his voice strained, his breath coming in gasps.
Kagome met his tear-filled eyes resolutely; " I refuse to let you die Miroku, my dearest friend, not while I have a chance of saving you. I won't let you go so easily"
With that she grabbed his right hand and pulled it towards her. He fought her but he was no match for her using her full strength. Her free hand slipped up and cupped his cheek as she placed their clasped hands against her upper chest.
She was swept into a void, surrounded by the feel of Miroku. For a moment she was lost in this new place until she felt a familiar presence and all she knew was fury.
By: dragonfly-rising
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters
Kagome cast a glance at Miroku across their campfire; he was avoiding making eye contact with her. She knew she had been distant to the monk but could not help that she had developed a deeper need for privacy. She was now more apt to ignore questions directed at her then to answer them. Kaede had been right when she had said the power had a mind of its own. Her own natural inclinations were being flung aside for the power's purpose. Sometimes it seemed she was just a passenger in her own body. She had woken up that morning with a feeling of urgency, as if she needed to get somewhere very soon. She had no idea why.
She looked out into the darkening forest, pulling her knees up to her chest and placing her chin on a knee. For a moment she felt the same flutter she had experienced earlier from Miroku. She turned her head slowly making herself seem nonchalant, even as her heart raced in fear for her friend. He was holding his right hand in his left, a mask of calm on his face but he could not hide the pain in his eyes. Kagome had no idea how she knew what was happening but the knowledge was there. She had to speak with Miroku...alone.
She rose slowly, stretching as she did so, working the kinks out of her body from sitting. She knew all three sets of eyes followed her movements. She didn't bother trying to soothe their egos by excusing her behavior. It would just be the same tomorrow; she had no real control over that aspect of herself, nor did she care to try to get it back. At this moment only one thing mattered to her, only one person.
She stepped away from her place, "Miroku, come with me"
His eyes held a denial that she was not going to agree with in the least. She glared at him openly, placing her hands on her hips.
"Shall we talk here and now?" she asked threateningly.
"Talk? Talk about what Miroku?" Sango asked confused.
Miroku's eyes narrowed at Kagome in anger.
~Please come with me Miroku...please let me do this thing as well...please don't fight me ~ Kagome pleaded with him silently.
Perhaps her dread conveyed itself to him because he rose slowly, losing the angry look to his face in a second.
"We just need to talk Sango...don't worry it isn't anything important" Miroku assured the youkai exterminator.
Sango looked from him to Kagome and back before settling for the fire as a focal point. Kagome knew she was aware Miroku was lying, but it didn't matter. What did matter was that Inuyasha stayed well away from her and Miroku while they were gone.
She looked over at him. Inuyasha just held her gaze. She imagined she must look silly to him, acting in such a commanding way. She felt as if she should explain to him the things that had been running through her mind but as she looked at him she knew he would never understand. He had never had his individuality swept away like so much trash, and had it replaced with something not quite right, not quiet him. He would in no way understand how awful and wonderful it felt to be as she was now.
She turned from him as tears stung her eyes and strode away, knowing Miroku followed at a slower pace. The monk was afraid of her and what she would say. He had every reason to be afraid. What she was going to reveal to him was not going to be easy for him or her to deal with at first.
She stopped in a clearing far enough away from the hanyou's hearing to be safe from interruption. She felt some of her old self rush back just enough for her to bow her head in sorrow before she turned to Miroku.
"Go ahead and say it Kagome" Miroku insisted gently " I know already but I want to hear you say it"
Kagome lifted her head and gazed at him steadily. Miroku her friend would die soon and she had to tell him that it was her fault.
"Your curse...it is strengthening in leaps and bounds. Because I am as I am, because you travel near me. The pain will get worse, and if you use your Air Rip at all while you are with me...it will take you"
Her voice did not waiver once during this recitation of his oncoming death sentence, though her heart was breaking the entire time. His face clouded only momentarily before he smiled at her softly and shrugged.
"If that is the way I am meant to die then so be it Kagome" he said
"Fool" she whispered angrily.
"What would you have me do Kagome? Tell me because I don't have it in me to fight fate for much longer" Miroku admitted roughly.
"Fight Miroku...you don't have to lay down and take it you know...nothing can stop you from fighting you have a choice...I have a choice but only if you are willing to fight." She informed him her anger finding new heights.
"What choice do I have?" He asked her suspiciously.
Kagome felt a pang of torment fill her spirit. The way he was looking at her at that moment could not have hurt any worse. Even Inuyasha could not cut her to the core as Miroku did now. She blinked back tears, hoping her face held every bit of her desire to help him and held out her hand. He stepped back, obviously afraid. The tears now pooled and slipped down her cheeks as she realized how little he trusted her.
"Please Miroku" she pleaded.
His face darkened and she could hear his denial before he even voiced it.
"No Kagome, there's nothing you can do." He asserted.
She bit her lip against the angry words tearing at her throat. She needed so badly to help him her soul was raging, even her powers, so against this cursed monk seemed determined to do what she wanted. Without her planning in advanced her hand crept up, tore the charm from her neck, and tossed it to the ground. Instantly her miko energy wrapped around her body and with it came a searing ache. Miroku cried out and fell to his knees cradling his right hand to his chest. She moved swiftly, kneeling in front of him and allowed her miko side to take over.
"Give me your hand monk, you will die by my will or live. Either way I will not allow that youkai Naraku to have your soul. It will never be his, do you understand me?" She asked furiously.
Even in his pain Miroku answered her.
"And what if you do not survive Kagome?"
"Then you will have one less friend in this world who would willingly give up their life for you"
Kagome knew her real self was caught up in those words and encouraged this other self to make this sacrifice if indeed that was what it was.
"You imagine I have so many I am willing to give you up." Miroku demanded lifting his head his voice strained, his breath coming in gasps.
Kagome met his tear-filled eyes resolutely; " I refuse to let you die Miroku, my dearest friend, not while I have a chance of saving you. I won't let you go so easily"
With that she grabbed his right hand and pulled it towards her. He fought her but he was no match for her using her full strength. Her free hand slipped up and cupped his cheek as she placed their clasped hands against her upper chest.
She was swept into a void, surrounded by the feel of Miroku. For a moment she was lost in this new place until she felt a familiar presence and all she knew was fury.