XXI: Golden Eye
Last time on "From Baskar With Love"…
Leehalt out of a job!? Tis' true! Leehalt's been fired along with Asgard and the Spy for failing the Dance off! Could Leehalt quite possibly have the worst luck in all Filgaia? Damn the Luck! Crappy grocery store! Broken car! Asgard drives about as well as a drunk Penguin! Messy Apartment! Bad Milk! Football with the Spy! Suicidal thoughts! Phone calls in the middle of the night! Melody! Revived hope! And now, a spin off sitcom about Leehalt, Asgard, The Spy, and their hoboesque lives!
It was dark. Yes, rather dark, because no one bothers to put lightbulbs in ventilation shafts. Marivel, Jack, Gallows, and Lilka were all cramped inside such a dark ventilation shaft, all irritated by something or another.
"Gallows! It's been 24 hours! I think it's safe to go out there now!" Marivel growled.
"I'm surprised that the laser hasn't been fired yet…" Jack sighed.
"Wait another moment…" Gallows looked up to the corner of the screen where a small transparent map of the hall before them was located. Two triangles with vision cones slided about in a set path atop this map. "According to the codec, there are still some guards out there."
"That's the wrong game Gallows!" Lilka yelled. Staying inside the small path for so long irritated her. "Let's just go."
"I'm with her on that! Go!" Jack then heaved with his shoulder, knocking Gallows out into the large, bright space age hall. Gallows landed with a thud as the vent panel landed with a clang. Gallows narrowed his eyes and reached for his PP7 as the other three fell out.
"Now what?" Lilka asked, picking herself up.
"We make like a banana and leaf." Gallows whispered. "There's all sorts of baddy security guards around here!"
"Right. We need some stealth…" Marivel put a hand to her chin.
"…Like a banana and leaf… hey!" Jack finally caught on to the sentiment. "It's make like a tree and split, you idiot."
"Which way do we go?" Lilka asked. The hall went in both directions. To the right it went on for a while, and to the left it ended and swung around a corner.
"Hmmm…" Gallows thought. "Just because I hate long hallways, we'll go with the corner!"
"Brilliant strategy Sherlock…" Marivel sighed.
And so Gallows walked to the corner and took a peek around the corner. Sure enough, there were two mysterious looking guards. Well, maybe they weren't guards, but they sure were mysterious.
"Gallows! What do you see?" Lilka pondered.
"Shhh!" Gallows hushed the girl. "I see two mysterious people."
"How mysterious?" Marivel asked.
"Real mysterious." Gallows replied. Gallows then spun his head back around the corner. The two had disappeared. "Mysterious!"
"Can we go now?" Jack asked, eager to make a run for it.
Gallows strained long and hard to make out any thing. After a bit, he made the all clear sign with his hand and stepped into the hall. Suddenly, the two mysterious guards walked out of a doorway and caught sight of the agent intruders. Little exclamation points appeared over there heads.
"Enemy sighted! Requesting Back Up!" The female of the guards said in a slow, whispered Russian dialect.
"Sorry, we can't send you any." The radio replied.
The green haired female guard in a long red jacket, spectacles, yellow pants, and a black vest screamed into the radio. "WHAT?! WHY?!"
"Because we need all our guards at the uniting ceremony! You know, how we're merging with the Ark of Destiny and K-Mart to form one giant evil corporation!" The radio replied.
"Damn it!" The green haired guard pulled out a Derringer and shot the radio dead.
"Don't worry Million Shot Hypes, A.K.A Heather Pesman! We can handle these suckers!" The other guard, a mustached man in a black poncho and a black cowboy hat and boots smiled.
"That's what we're going to have to do, Pecos Bill A.K.A Nicholi Shroedinger!" Heather replied. She then looked down the hall to see nothing. "Hey, where'd the intruders go?"
"Keep running!" Gallows was ahead of the pack, running down the hall as if he was in a race. The three were desperately trying to keep up.
"Why?! We could have taken them out! After all, there only original chars from DriftWings!" Marivel shouted.
"They have radios! Don't you know what that means!? That means they'll call back up and we'll have to wait another long period of time before the caution mode goes away!" Jack explained.
"Gees, someone's been playing a little too much MGS: Tactical Espionage Action!" Lilka sighed.
And on a one, two… Marivel and Lilka gave one collective sigh.
"Quickly! Let's duck into here!" Gallows shouted. Finally, he was acting as the leader! Oh, the thrill, the feeling, the glory!
"Gallows! That's a broom closet…" Marivel pointed out.
"Hahahaha! I knew that!" Gallows rubbed the back of his neck as he smiled nervously. He then side stepped to the next door and opened it. "Quickly! In here!"
"We can't Gallows! That's the men's restroom!" Lilka placed her hands over her mouth, as if mentioning the men's restroom was a terminal sin.
Gallows gave a tired look and stepped to the next one. "Does this door satisfy our needs?"
"Sure, if you're a fish." Jack shrugged.
"What the?" Gallows turned around to see a giant tropical fish aquarium with giant fish. "Ah, minnows pretending to be whales…"
"Oi, now he gets with the Bond routine…" Marivel frowned.
"Hey! There they are!" Pecos Bill shouted from down the hall. The agents all jumped in the air and ran down the hall, diving into an open door on the right.
It was a ballroom. A large ballroom filled with dancers dressed in beautiful dresses and suits. The music was played by a live classical orchestra sitting on the stage at the end, where Lamium was standing, talking to some of the other Ark of Destiny heads.
"Wrong room?" Gallows asked.
"Wait! I have an idea!" Marivel grinned a toothy grin. "Jack! You have any ball gowns and suits in that hat of yours?"
"I swear, you people only use me for my materials. I'm a person to you know!" Jack pouted.
"MAKE WITH THE GOODS ALREADY!" Marivel shouted, fangs bared, scaring the bajeesus out of Jack.
"Yes ma'am." Jack sniffed as he took off his hat and pulled out two distinguished ball gowns and tow impressive looking ballroom suits for the men. They were all blue in order to match the Ark's theme.
"Wow! I've always wanted a dress! Thank you Jack!" Lilka's eyes filled with stars as she held the dress before her and giggled.
"What's the point of these?" Gallows asked as he pulled the jacket on.
"Disguises, duh." Marivel rolled her eyes. "And you see that guy on stage?"
"Yea… that's Lamium, right?" Jack asked.
"Yup. ARMS wants him badly. If we can nab him, I'm bound to get a promotion!" Marivel smiled happily. The others didn't look too happy with her plan. "I mean, we. WE shall receive a promotion!"
"I don't care! As long as I get to wear my dress! I think I'll call her "Jennifer"!" Lilka hugged her dress.
"Women and dress. What's up with that?" Jack asked, as if attempting stand up comedy.
And so, the four quickly donned their dresses and suits and mingled into the crowd. However, every partner was taken up, and being alone was defiantly being a sore thumb. The orchestra began to play the Waltz, and the two mysterious guards had entered into the room.
"Shit!" Marivel jumped. She then ran to Gallows, who was rocking back and forth on his heels, looking bored. "Gallows! Dance with me!"
Gallows looked a bit surprised. "Why? You hate my guts!"
Marivel nodded her head over to the two mysterious guards, Million Shot Hypes and Pecos Bill, who were searching the crowd like a pair of mysterious hawks with guns. Gallows immediately got the picture. Reluctantly, he took Marivel's "pail" hand in one hand and put a hand around her waist with the other.
"Stop looking over there…" Gallows whispered. "Try to look inconspicuous, O.K?"
Marivel looked into Gallows green eyes. That almost sounded professional! She smiled at the thought. "Your not a bad dancer."
"Well, you're not either…" Gallows lied. Marivel stepped on his feet almost constantly. You'd think a super agent would have learned to dance to the Waltz.
"You know, it's always been my dream to be at a great ball like this…" Marivel said her thoughts aloud.
"On the moon in a room full of terrorists?" Gallows chuckled.
"Well, not that part. Just to dance to some beautiful music, nice and slow, with some handsome, strong man…" Marivel almost laughed.
"Sounds like every little girl's dream…" Gallows smiled.
"Probably is…"
"Didn't think you'd have that dream…"
"Why? Am I not a girl?"
"Well, I guess you're a woman and all… but you seem more of the butch type…"
"Butch?"
"Yea, the gung ho beat 'em tomboy girl…"
"That's just the outside. Inside, I'm like a normal girl. I had tea parties when I was a kid…"
"Do you like chic fliks?"
"…Possibly. I prefer a good old action flik myself."
"Same here."
"Say Gallows, why is it that you're a super agent?"
"I just want some recognition, that's all. Some glory and fame to call my own."
"Huh, kinda hard with 002 around."
"Yup. Say, didn't he say he was going to beat us here?"
"…Yea…"
"Then why haven't we seen him? If he's here, shouldn't he have cleared out all of the P.R.O.P.H.E.Tagents by now?"
"Maybe 003 isn't as good as we all thought." Marivel chuckled.
"Say Marivel. There's Lamium right there. We could bust him right now." Gallows nodded his head in Lamium's direction. The two had waltzed close enough to nab him right quick and easy.
"…Just a little bit longer." Marivel smiled as she rested her head in Gallows chest.
Gallows immediately blushed. "Um?"
Marivel immediately realized what she was doing. She bit her lip and then looked to Gallows. She quickly put on a fake scowl. "Just acting inconspicuous."
"Oh. Uh, yea…" Gallows cleared his throat.
"I can't believe I got stuck with you…" Jack sighed as he waltzed with Lilka. "Of all the women here… I mean, of course they're evil, but who cares? They're gorgeous!"
"Oh I don't mind Jack, as long as I get to keep Jennifer!" Lilka giggled.
The music ended, and Lamium stepped onto the stage once more. He reached for the mic and promptly thanked whoever handed it to him. The dancers all stopped their dancing and looked to the Arc's leader, including Marivel, Jack, Gallows, and Lilka. Marivel inwardly cursed her timing. The two mysterious guards also stopped their search to listen.
"Welcome, Welcome!" Lamium smiled. "You know, a funny thing happened to me on the way here. I was standing in line for the plane ticket when all of a sudden, a dog runs past me, and I'm like "woah"! Eh? Eh?" Lamium looked around, smiling. A cough and a few dry laughs were heard through out the ballroom. Lamium stretched his collar. "Tough crowd tonight. Well anyways, I'd like to thank you for coming to tonight's unification celebration. Tonight, the Ark of Destiny merges with P.R.O.P.H.E.T! Yes, I know what you're all thinking. We're not technically bad guys, but we've played the roles of villains in so many fan fics that we're pretty much automatic villainy!" Lamium smiled. "So anyway, I look forward to a new year as so-rulers of Filgaia! Cheers!" Lamium lifted a wine glass.
Several gasps were heard as a man leaped from the audience and onto the stage, pointing a giant bayonet at Lamium's head. The head exec's stepped back as all of the Ark pulled out AK's from who knows where and aimed at the blue haired man. The Agents looked confused and startled and the mysterious guards were also surprised.
"001! I thought he was with us!" Million Shot Hypes announced.
"Everyone put your guns down, or Lamium here gets it." 001 stated.
"Ashley Winchester… Agent 001, rumored to have gone A-wall years back…" Marivel uttered.
"Hey, 002 said that 001 was a bad guy!" Lilka was confused.
The Ark did nothing. Lamium waved his hands. "Listen to THE man with THE gun up against MY HEAD, froidlaven!" Reluctantly, the Arc all lowered their weapons.
"Very good." Ashley smirked. "Now Lamium, your under arrest!"
"Wait!" Another voice sounded. Every one looked to the right as Agent Jet Enduro hopped onto the stage, Airget-Lamh in hand. "It's a trick. He's really a P.R.O.P.H.E.Tagent come to kick out Lamium so Number 1 can have all of your troops!" Jet stated.
"Liar! I am agent 001 Ashley Winchester of ARMS! Ashley yelled. "I believe you're the P.R.O.P.H.E.Tagent!"
Several more gasps emanated from the crowd. Marivel looked to Gallows, who nodded in agreement. The two threw off their elegant clothing and reverted back to their normal attire, brandishing guns and leaped atop the stage, with Jack and Lilka who pointed their guns at Lamium, Ashley, and Jet.
"Don't move! In the name of ARMS, you're all under arrest!" Marivel stated. Boy, that sounded cool.
"You've got it all wrong!" Jet stated. "I'm ARMS, remember! He's the rogue agent!"
"I've been under cover the whole time! The real traitor is 002!" Ashley gritted his teeth.
"I don't care who's traitor or not! Let me go!" Lamium screeched.
"003, what do we do?" Lilka looked over to Gallows.
Gallows smiled. "I know, we'll have a contest! Anyone who doesn't know the answer isn't ARMS at all! Ready?"
Jet and Ashley looked to each with extreme rage and then to Gallows. "All right."
"Ahem. When is my birthday!?" Gallows grinned.
"What?!" Both agents under inspection asked.
"Gallows, we're ARMS and even we don't know that…" Jack sighed.
"O.K, maybe that one was a little too tough. …What does ARMS stand for?" Gallows asked.
"Ooh1 I know! I know! Agile Remote Missions Squad!" Pecos Bill shouted from the crowd.
"O.K… maybe something a little harder…" Gallows thought. "What does P.R.O.P.H.E.Tstand for!?"
"Ha! That's easy!" Jet smirked. "People Ready to Organize Protest and Mayhem with Evil Tyranny!"
"Wrong!" Gallows smiled. "I'm sorry, please hang up and try again! 002, your under arrest!" Cool and suave. Jazzy music.
"That is what P.R.O.P.H.E.T stands for ya idgit!" Lamium shouted.
"Maybe to P.R.O.P.H.E.T members, but to ARMS, it means People Rudely Opposing People's Heroes… we haven't figured out the rest!" Gallows explained.
"Wait, but what about when Jet came to our rescue in the diamond mines?" Jack asked.
"Just a cover!" Gallows smiled. "I bet you Melody's running free down on Filgaia!"
"And I would have got away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids!" Jet spat. "And your Crimson Nobel too!"
"Alright, Lamium, Jet, you two are coming with me!" Ashley pulled out a teleport crystal. "Last one left…"
"Not so fast, ace!" Jet leaped away from the gunpoints and started firing the Airget-Lamh. Ashley grabbed Lamium and rolled over the side of the stage as the agents instantly began fire back. Ashley took a pair of handcuffs and chained Lamium to a steel bar holding the stage up. Despite Lamium's pleas, Ashley then rolled onto the stage and knocked Jet down into the orchestra pit. The musicians fled as now every Ark member grabbed their guns and began fire. But such a massive gunfight in such a tiny place would lead to a ton of friendly fire, and I mean lots of it. Gallows, Lilka, Marivel, and Jack were now too busy trying to protect themselves then to track down Ashley and Jet.
The Airget-Lamh went flying out of Jet's hands, falling into an open trash shaft then went to the incinerators. Jet gasped and tried to reach for it, but found himself at the end of the Bayonet.
"Going somewhere, 002?" Ashley smiled.
"I was about to ask you the same question." Jet grinned and kicked Ashley's feet out from under him, knocking the agent down. 002 then kicked the gun from Ashley's grip, letting it fall down the same tube to the incinerator. "Can you fight hand to hand?"
Ashley smiled. "There's a reason I'm called 001!" Ashley lunged foreword, punching out with a quick jab from the right. Jet easily avoided it and landed a blow on Ashley's stomach from below.
"You can't win! I've got the popular support! I am the famous bishounen Jet Enduro, the star of every fan girls eye!" Jet smiled.
"And the bane of all males everywhere!" Ashley punched Jet in the face, knocking the lavender-eyed agent back. Jet caught himself and put his hands up in a boxing pose, protecting his face. Ashley stepped forward, jabbing with his right and left in a repetitive motion, trying to get through Jet's blocks. But Jet was a lucky bastard (unlike Leehalt) and managed to avoid every attack. Jet then dropped down unexpectedly and attempted to kick out Ashley's legs again. Ashley leaped back before such an action could take place and quickly darted forward, punching Jet Square in the nose.
"Ow! God Damnit!" Jet grabbed his bleeding nose. "What did you for that for?!"
"We are fighting to the death, right?" Ashley questioned.
"Yea, but, God, that was my nose!" Jet gasped.
"Is there something special about your nose?" Ashley raised an eyebrow.
"Yea, it's bleeding, but then gain, so is yours." Jet stated.
"No it's not." Ashley rubbed his nose.
"It is now!" Jet landed a punch on Ashley's nose, breaking it with an unsatisfying crunch. Ashley stepped back and bared his teeth and kick Jet in the stomach. Enduro coughed up blood and staggered backwards. This fistfight went on for some time until both parties were heaving with loss of breath and stamina. The tube to the incinerator stood between the two as they stared each other down.
"You're… pretty good…" Jet said.
"Same to you…" Ashley huffed.
"But now it's going to end!" Jet challenged.
"C'mon!" Ashley taunted.
Jet ran forward and leaped the hole, foot outstretched, trying to land a fatal kick. Ashley smiled and blinked. A torrent of energy rushed from him and all of a sudden, he was that black, evil knight blazer. Jet looked surprised as Knight blazer cackled. Knight blazer easily caught Jet's foot and sent him flying down the tube to the incinerator.
"God damn transformations…" Jet grumbled as he fell.
Knight blazer laughed and charged again, this time becoming a golden form of him. The giant metal knight leaped out of the orchestra pit and began cleaving Arkists left and right, laughing with glee. The power of Lord Blazer at work!
"Uh, Marivel, look!" Lilka pointed out Ashley's new form.
"Well that can't be good." Jack pondered.
"Umm, he knows that this is on the moon right? If he blows it up, everyone in here is doomed." Gallows mentioned.
"Right. Then lets get the hell outa here." Marivel offered.
"Works for me." The other three replied. And stealthily, they snuck out of the ballroom and sealed the door. Lord blazer! What power! Too bad though, for an enormous explosion sounded within the room and jazzy music played…
Next time on "From Baskar With Love"…
Is Ashley really dead? Nope! Thanks to Lord Blazer's ultimate form, Ashley makes it back to Filgaia safely with Lamium and Jet (he's alive too!) in tow. C is interested in how Lord Blazer works, and Irvin gives Ashley a promotion! Next time on "From Baskar With Love", Ashley's new office job! Don't miss it!