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Innocent Eyes - Flesh And Blood
Piper and Paige sat on the couch looking at Phoebe with shock, both of their mouths open. Phoebe was looking at the ground, she knew she shouldn't have yelled like that - for one thing Parker might have over heard - because it shocked them and made her feel disgusting but she had to get it off her chest.
"Honey," said Piper moving over to Phoebe and placing her arm around her shoulders, "Why didn't you mention something to us earlier?" she asked,
"There never seemed like the right time to bring it up. I mean I couldn't say anything in the weeks after Grams funeral, or Prue's or when Paige arrived there always seemed to be too much going on with all the demon fighting I just thought that I should keep it to myself," replied Phoebe, her eyes still fixed on the ground,
"Well, do you want to talk about it with us now?" asked Paige,
"I don't now if I can. I mean I've never spoken about it to any one; I don't want to burden you with all these pathetic things. There are more important things," Phoebe said,
"Like what?" asked Piper, looking shocked - this was the first time in ages that Phoebe hadn't confided in her - Phoebe got up off the couch and walked a couple of steps across the room then turned back to face her sisters,
"Like Parker," she said, "Like that young girl upstairs who needs her mother. I can't tell her the real reason that I gave her up. What would she think if she knew?"
"If she knew what? You gave her up because you couldn't cope raising a child at that point in your life," said Paige,
"No," replied Phoebe as she sat back down beside her sisters,
"I gave her up because every time I looked at her I saw my attacker. And I resented her, I resented my own child, my own flesh and blood!" said Phoebe.
"It's expected that you would feel some anger towards the child of the man who raped you. I think that Parker is old enough and mature enough to understand," said Piper,
"Understand what? Understand that from the second she was born I hated her, that I refused to breast feed her, hold her or even look at her?" yelled Phoebe, "How would you feel if mum felt like that about you?"
"The circumstances are completely different," said Piper, "Mum loved us and she wasn't raped she chose to become pregnant!"
"But I didn't," said Phoebe lowering her voice, "I got to go, I have to get out of here I can't deal with this just now." said Phoebe walking from the living room, grabbing her car keys and leaving the manor. Piper and Paige walked into the foyer just in time to see Phoebe slamming the door behind her.
They walked into the kitchen and saw Parker sitting at the table, staring at the floral pattern on it. Piper and Paige walked in and sat down beside her, Parker didn't look up she begun drumming her fingers on the tablecloth.
"Hey Parker. how are you today?" asked Paige, breaking the minute of silence,
"Mnnff," replied Parker, muttering something indistinct under her breath,
"Care to give me a vowel in there?" joked Paige, placing her hand, Parker lifted her head and looked at Paige. Tears were forming behind those big brown iris' and instantly Paige knew that Parker had overheard.
"I heard what you and Phoebe were saying," she paused and sniffed, "I heard every single word. she hates me. She wishes that I was never born and that I hadn't found her," said Parker sobbing,
"No," replied Paige, "She's just confused is all, she doesn't hate you,"
"Then why would she say all those things? Why would she say that she resented me, my mother was raped and fell pregnant! She didn't choose for me to be alive she's stuck with me and she resents me for it. I think she blames me for her attack and my father he hurt her and stuck her with a child that she never wanted." Parker paused once more an wiped away her tears, "She hates me, how can I live with a mother who hates me?"
"Phoebe doesn't hate you. She hates what was done to her and she hates the fact that such a lovely girl like you was created like that. But she doesn't hate you," said Paige while Piper remained silent.
"How can you know this? I know she wishes that I was." began Parker but Piper cut her off,
"Parker," she began, "I know you haven't been part of this family for a long time but Phoebe doesn't hate you. You're her child; she can't hate her own child. In fact as a mother I know she loves you, though she might not have said it to your face or to any of us. Its natural, she carried you for six months and she regrets ever giving you up. She does love you even if she doesn't know it herself and even if she never says it, I know its true." She finished,
"No," said Parker, getting up from the table and running upstairs, Paige got off her seat to follow Parker but Piper grabbed her arm,
"We shouldn't," she said simply,
"We can't just let her go," protested Paige, "We have to go and talk to her,"
"What can we say? We don't know her or understand her; we just met the girl we can't intrude on her space or her emotions. We have to let her try and make sense of what she overheard, we have to let her figure things out before we try to talk to her. Just trust me on this Paige," she said before she walked out of the kitchen leaving Paige by herself.
***
Later that evening Parker sat alone in Phoebe's bedroom; she was sitting huddled in the corner. She had heard Phoebe coming home about an hour ago and had vaguely heard voices - she knew her sister's must have told her what was going on - but no one had come upstairs to check on her. She sat in the corner looking out the window her eyes cast upwards towards the sky, the stars were out, every one of them twinkling as if looking down on her. She stood up and walked over to Phoebe's desk where she lifted out a piece of paper and began to scribble, she wasn't writing anything in particular but she wanted to do something. She was using a black marker to write with and soon enough it was tearing through the paper and leaving black marks on Phoebe's desk. She looked over at Phoebe's desk tidy and stared at it for a few moments before she heard a car drive by. The headlights lit up the room and bounced of the scissors that were sitting in the tidy. The blades lit up and reflected in her eyes, she was somewhat mesmerised by the light bouncing back at her face. She reached over and took them out of there neat place in the desk tidy, she put her fingers in the slots and snapped them open and closed a couple of times. Scissors so easy, household and simple, such a useful object, such a thing has more purpose to her than ever before. She open the scissors once more and didn't close them - she knew that she was falling into a deadly pattern but she didn't care.
Innocent Eyes - Flesh And Blood
Piper and Paige sat on the couch looking at Phoebe with shock, both of their mouths open. Phoebe was looking at the ground, she knew she shouldn't have yelled like that - for one thing Parker might have over heard - because it shocked them and made her feel disgusting but she had to get it off her chest.
"Honey," said Piper moving over to Phoebe and placing her arm around her shoulders, "Why didn't you mention something to us earlier?" she asked,
"There never seemed like the right time to bring it up. I mean I couldn't say anything in the weeks after Grams funeral, or Prue's or when Paige arrived there always seemed to be too much going on with all the demon fighting I just thought that I should keep it to myself," replied Phoebe, her eyes still fixed on the ground,
"Well, do you want to talk about it with us now?" asked Paige,
"I don't now if I can. I mean I've never spoken about it to any one; I don't want to burden you with all these pathetic things. There are more important things," Phoebe said,
"Like what?" asked Piper, looking shocked - this was the first time in ages that Phoebe hadn't confided in her - Phoebe got up off the couch and walked a couple of steps across the room then turned back to face her sisters,
"Like Parker," she said, "Like that young girl upstairs who needs her mother. I can't tell her the real reason that I gave her up. What would she think if she knew?"
"If she knew what? You gave her up because you couldn't cope raising a child at that point in your life," said Paige,
"No," replied Phoebe as she sat back down beside her sisters,
"I gave her up because every time I looked at her I saw my attacker. And I resented her, I resented my own child, my own flesh and blood!" said Phoebe.
"It's expected that you would feel some anger towards the child of the man who raped you. I think that Parker is old enough and mature enough to understand," said Piper,
"Understand what? Understand that from the second she was born I hated her, that I refused to breast feed her, hold her or even look at her?" yelled Phoebe, "How would you feel if mum felt like that about you?"
"The circumstances are completely different," said Piper, "Mum loved us and she wasn't raped she chose to become pregnant!"
"But I didn't," said Phoebe lowering her voice, "I got to go, I have to get out of here I can't deal with this just now." said Phoebe walking from the living room, grabbing her car keys and leaving the manor. Piper and Paige walked into the foyer just in time to see Phoebe slamming the door behind her.
They walked into the kitchen and saw Parker sitting at the table, staring at the floral pattern on it. Piper and Paige walked in and sat down beside her, Parker didn't look up she begun drumming her fingers on the tablecloth.
"Hey Parker. how are you today?" asked Paige, breaking the minute of silence,
"Mnnff," replied Parker, muttering something indistinct under her breath,
"Care to give me a vowel in there?" joked Paige, placing her hand, Parker lifted her head and looked at Paige. Tears were forming behind those big brown iris' and instantly Paige knew that Parker had overheard.
"I heard what you and Phoebe were saying," she paused and sniffed, "I heard every single word. she hates me. She wishes that I was never born and that I hadn't found her," said Parker sobbing,
"No," replied Paige, "She's just confused is all, she doesn't hate you,"
"Then why would she say all those things? Why would she say that she resented me, my mother was raped and fell pregnant! She didn't choose for me to be alive she's stuck with me and she resents me for it. I think she blames me for her attack and my father he hurt her and stuck her with a child that she never wanted." Parker paused once more an wiped away her tears, "She hates me, how can I live with a mother who hates me?"
"Phoebe doesn't hate you. She hates what was done to her and she hates the fact that such a lovely girl like you was created like that. But she doesn't hate you," said Paige while Piper remained silent.
"How can you know this? I know she wishes that I was." began Parker but Piper cut her off,
"Parker," she began, "I know you haven't been part of this family for a long time but Phoebe doesn't hate you. You're her child; she can't hate her own child. In fact as a mother I know she loves you, though she might not have said it to your face or to any of us. Its natural, she carried you for six months and she regrets ever giving you up. She does love you even if she doesn't know it herself and even if she never says it, I know its true." She finished,
"No," said Parker, getting up from the table and running upstairs, Paige got off her seat to follow Parker but Piper grabbed her arm,
"We shouldn't," she said simply,
"We can't just let her go," protested Paige, "We have to go and talk to her,"
"What can we say? We don't know her or understand her; we just met the girl we can't intrude on her space or her emotions. We have to let her try and make sense of what she overheard, we have to let her figure things out before we try to talk to her. Just trust me on this Paige," she said before she walked out of the kitchen leaving Paige by herself.
***
Later that evening Parker sat alone in Phoebe's bedroom; she was sitting huddled in the corner. She had heard Phoebe coming home about an hour ago and had vaguely heard voices - she knew her sister's must have told her what was going on - but no one had come upstairs to check on her. She sat in the corner looking out the window her eyes cast upwards towards the sky, the stars were out, every one of them twinkling as if looking down on her. She stood up and walked over to Phoebe's desk where she lifted out a piece of paper and began to scribble, she wasn't writing anything in particular but she wanted to do something. She was using a black marker to write with and soon enough it was tearing through the paper and leaving black marks on Phoebe's desk. She looked over at Phoebe's desk tidy and stared at it for a few moments before she heard a car drive by. The headlights lit up the room and bounced of the scissors that were sitting in the tidy. The blades lit up and reflected in her eyes, she was somewhat mesmerised by the light bouncing back at her face. She reached over and took them out of there neat place in the desk tidy, she put her fingers in the slots and snapped them open and closed a couple of times. Scissors so easy, household and simple, such a useful object, such a thing has more purpose to her than ever before. She open the scissors once more and didn't close them - she knew that she was falling into a deadly pattern but she didn't care.