'What's the metter Herry?' inquired prof. Mcgonogall.

'It's.it's nothing,' he replied, his voice trembling.

'Ok. I'll be off then.'

So off she went, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts. He was confused (unlike usual (can you feel the sarcasm?)). He was having all these weird thoughts and urges, which he'd never had before. Suddenly, there was a crash, and Ron appeared.

'Did you forget to open the door again?'

Ron looked behind him. 'Yeah.'

'You've really got to stop doing that.'

'I know. It's a bad habit.'

Ron sat down next to Harry.

'Is there something wrong?' asked Ron.

Harry looked deep into Ron's eyes. He was the one person he wanted to tell the most, and yet, the one person he felt he could never tell.

'Ron, I.'

'Hi, Everybody!'

Somehow, they both felt compelled to say 'Hi Dr. Nick!' but they fought the urge, and instead said

'Hi Neville.'

'Have you heard the news about the new defence against the dark arts teacher?'

(At this point, I think I should probably tell you that this is set at the beginning of the fifth book. They've all just arrived at school.)

'It's a woman!'

Harry and Ron gasped. A main role in the book going to a woman. Obviously, there was Hermione and Mcgonagal, but they were both shameless stereotypes, like all the more minor female characters, and never did anything cool. The dark arts teachers always did something special.

After a stunned silence, Harry managed to choke out

'What's she called?'

'Professor Lewinsky. And she's really hot!'

Harry and Ron breathed a sigh of relief it was all ok, the new female character would just be a sex object for the boys to drool over. Life was back on track. Ron could get back to thinking about those cool muggle 'Teletubby' things, and Harry could get back to worrying about his. problem.

Neville said goodbye and went back to find more people to tell, leaving them alone again. Harry tried again.

'Ron, I've known you a long time, and we've always been friends, but.'

'Harry, Ron, quick, something terrible's happened!' cried Hermione, bursting into the room.

'What?' Said Harry, jumping up.

'Nothing. Just trying to worry you. Are those fruit roll-ups?' She gestured a plate lying next to Ron on the bed.

'Er, yes, but you really worried us!'

'Good.'

Hermione sat down, and started pigging out.

'How did they get there?' wondered Ron. The he joined Hermione.

Suddenly, Harry felt an odd sensation in his hand. He looked down.

'Oh my God.' he whispered.