Having read the fifth book, I now know that this is nothing like what it was, or even might have been like. Also, I feel a bit mean being mean about Snape. Oh well. Also, PLEASE don't send me reviews that ramble on for paragraphs about what's wrong with this. It's just meant to be a bit of fun. If you like it, read it. If you don't, don't. Sorry about that, read on.

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The palm of Harry's hand was purple. The rash was crawling over the rest of his hand, and his flesh was beginning to bubble. The weirdest thing of all was that it didn't hurt. It just felt funny. He screamed.

Hermione looked up from the plate of fruity delights.

'Harry, what is it?'

He couldn't speak all he could do was hold up his hand for them to see. Ron promptly fainted. Hermione stood up, knocking a small table with a vase of flowers on it (awww!) over.

'Oh sh-' she began, but then remember that no-one ever swears in Harry Potter books, with the possible exception of Ron, who says 'bloody hell' every so often. 'That's furnunculus fleshcrawler, the deadly skin disease.'

'It is!?!?!?!?!?' exclaimed Harry.

'No, just trying to worry you again. It's bogstone syndrome. It sometimes makes your hand fall off, but only if it's not treated in time. Come on, we'd better get you to the hospital wing.'

'What about Ron?' asked Harry.

'Oh, he'll be alright,' replied Hermione, 'Let's go.'

So they set off for the hospital wing, Hermione having bandage Harry's hand to stop the rash developing any further. Who knew what wild and unbelievable encounters they would have before they got there? Who indeed?

Well, me, but you don't, so ner.

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The first person Harry and Hermione came across on their trek to the Hospital Wing was Professor Snape. He was prowling around the corridors trying to find someone to tell off. As soon as he glimpsed Harry, his face lit up.

'Potter!' he snarled, 'What are you doing here at this time of night?'

'First of all, it's seven o'clock. And second of all,' he held out his hand, 'I have contracted a terrible and contagious skin disease, which you will catch if you don't leave us alone.'

'Right,' said Snape, somewhat taken aback, 'On your way then.'

And Harry and Hermione ran off, giggling.

The next person they saw was Seamus Finnigan.

'Hello, Harry,' he called out.

'Hi Seamus,' replied Harry.

'How's it goin' then?'

'Ok, but I've got a bit of a rash on my hand. I'm sure it'll clear up soon though.'

'Oh, well. Tell me how that goes then. Bye.' And off he trotted, pondering.

Then, they came across PROFESSOR LEWINSKY!!! (You remember, the woman who was now teaching DADA, and no, she isn't evil, and she doesn't work for the Ministry of Magic, and no, she doesn't have a nasty quill that writes in the writer's own blood.) She wasn't 'Hot' as Neville had described her, but she was perfectly attractive, and looked as though she might be rawther nice.

'Ah, you must be Harry Potter. I've heard a lot about you,' she said.

'Er, yes, that's me,' replied Harry, 'This is Hermione Granger.'

'Hello, Hermione. It's nice to meet you,' said prof. Lewinsky, pleasantly.

Hermione seemed struck. This was a woman unlike any other she had ever seen before.

'H. Hi,' said Hermione, 'It's nice to meet you too.'

They shook hands. Then Prof. Lewinsky excused herself, saying she had a lot to do. Harry and Hermione continued towards the Hospital wing.