THE JOKER VERSUS BRAINS.

"Ah; there you are Brains, I was just about to give you a call."

"Uh; no n-need Mr. Tracy, I-I'm ready." Brains responded by taking the seat opposite his opponent, his concentration already fixed on the board.

Everything had been prepared the evening before and both men settled down to enjoy their regular game of chess.

"Any preference for colour?"

"Ah; no M-Mr. Tracy."

"I'll take white then." Jeff said, moving his pawn forward. His opponent spent some minutes studying the board. Jefferson Tracy waited patiently; experience prepared him for his chess partners' habit, and after some minutes of quiet contemplation the young man moved forward, just as a chair was dragged noisily into their line of vision. Both men turned to stare as the young man flopped heavily into it returning their stare with a jaunty smile. He was ignored for his trouble, the game uppermost in both players' minds. After several minutes of studied silence Jeff reached out to pick up another pawn.

"Want a whiskey Dad?" Gordon boomed.

Jeff jumped and declined, reaching out again.

"How about you Brains?" Jeff tensed and sighed.

"Er; n-no th-thanks Gordon."

"Any one mind if I get a drink?" without waiting for a reply Gordon bounced up and left the room.

Jeff relaxed and returned his attention back to his intended move, a slight apologetic smile on his face at his son's interruption. On his wave length Brains smiled back before fixing his eyes back to the board. Jeff leaned forward and stiffened as his son breezed jauntily into the room and once more dropped into the chair, a can of pop in one hand and a large bag of crisps (potato chips) in the other.

Taking a deep breath Jeff leaned forward, as the bag was scrunched and yanked apart, blocking out the sounds of crunching, he moved his pawn and  sat back stiffly, waiting, his eyes fixed on the young man opposite, his ears tuned to the one, rustling at his side.

The young scientist had a system, one that worked well to his advantage, one that wasn't working tonight as he became acutely conscious of the young aquanaut at the side of him, and the distraction he was causing. 'How can one person make all that noise?'  He concentrated on tuning Gordon out and for a time it worked as he studied the board with determination. Hiram J. Hackenbacker worked several moves ahead, including anticipating where his opponent would go. For this he needed total concentration..and quiet. It was not quiet tonight. He reached out and promptly stopped as the ring pull was snapped and the can thrust under his nose.

"Want a drink?"

"Er; n-no th-thanks." he almost smiled as the can was then thrust under his opponents' nose and a terse refusal was issued.

'How can one man make so much noise drinking from a can?' he pondered, 'and what is he doing with that bag?' Hiram J. Hackenbacker sighed, his brow furrowed as he continued to stare at the board.

"Gordon; do you have to make so much noise?"

Jeff's obvious annoyance transferred itself to the young scientist and he made a move that had him mentally kicking himself. He grimaced, hoping his face hadn't given himself away, or more importantly, his partner hadn't noticed. It appeared not as the head of International Rescue made a move that had the young scientist almost gaping. This was a chance to redress his earlier gaff. But first he needed to contemplate...if only the interested party would go somewhere else. He looked up at Jeff's son, trying to communicate some of his anxiety, and was greeted with a grin for his trouble. The more he tried to tune out the noises Gordon Tracy was making the more his presence impinged. "Ah; w-would you mind Gordon?"

"You want one?" Gordon shoved the bag of crisps under Brains' nose.

"Ah, not e-exactly."

"A drink then?"

"Erm, no."

"Gordon; can't you see we're trying to have a game here."

"So; what's stopping you?"

The level look directed at him by both men bounced right off him as Gordon belched, grinned and shoved his hand deep into the bag, rattling the last of the crisps out.

"For Pete's sake!"

"Sorry Dad, Brains. Can't help it."

Brains waited, watching out of his eye corner as the disrupter sat back then, studying the board, leaned forward. The rattle of the bag as it was scrunched up un-nerved him and when he looked at the board it was to find he'd moved his knight, which was the last thing he'd intended. He glowered at the son just as the father grinned broadly, making a very promising move.

"Check."

"Uh; y-yes I know that Mr. Tracy." Brains snapped, pushing his glasses firmly up his nose. This game was slipping away from him; he'd never live it down if he lost this one. Vaguely he was aware of Scott and Virgil moving discreetly to the parameter of the table, this further distracted him, but not as much as the constant sounds Gordon managed to make, even when he was still. His presence was un-nerving. After some minutes he reached out to pick up his queen but the sharp intake of breath froze him. Casting a questioning frown at Gordon, Brains saw him shake his head and tut.

"Gordon! That'll do."

Puzzled, Brains turned back to the board, redoubling his efforts at concentration, but the cracks had appeared as he pondered on the young man's behaviour. 'What did he mean by that? It was a good move...wasn't it?' Distracted Brains moved his other knight instead, a move that brought mixed reactions from the spectators. He rubbed the back of his neck feeling the tension rising. Hearing the word "check" again merely intensified his taut nerves, and with little thought he picked up his bishop...or he tried to, but as he pulled, the board lifted with it, and the pieces that weren't glued to it scattered in all directions, under the table and across the floor. He gaped at the board and the other attached pieces, his intelligent face registering his astonishment He looked into the face of his opponent and saw Jeff was as astounded as he was, while the sounds of laughter rent the air around them. There could only be one answer for this and both turned to the interested party, who sat there with a grin on his face that said it all.

********

It is a wise man who quits while he's ahead. Gordon's enthusiasm over-rode his common sense. His engaging personality, amber eyes and winning smile are not enough to save him this time and now the tables are turned as his family close ranks and dish out a little 'Payback' of their own.