Part XIV -- Imp Ire
As Vader and Metria took down the tents and Jenny cleared up the remains of the fire, Luke repacked items in Jenny's pack, watching his father all the while. Vader seemed somewhat reserved today. He appeared to have reached a conclusion over something. Would that affect his receptivity to Luke's request?
He handed the pack to Jenny, then spoke.
"Tell me about my mother."
Vader paused. "And a good morning to you, too."
"If you're truly my father," Luke countered, "you'll tell me."
"Oooohh," winced Metria. "Ouch."
Vader turned to the Companions. "Finish without us. We have some things to discuss."
Jenny's eyes sparkled knowingly. "All right."
Luke and Vader moved a little deeper into the forest and sat down on the captain's log by the river. "What is it you want to know?" Vader requested.
"Everything."
"That's a tall order."
"Please. I know nothing about her."
If Vader could have sighed, he probably would have right then. "Very well. When I first met your mother, she was the queen of the Naboo system."
That floored Luke immediately. A queen?!
"Don't look so shocked," Vader advised. "You wanted to know everything."
"I do! But that just... caught me off guard."
Vader nodded. "Not many Tatooine farm youth have royal blood in their veins."
"So... does that make me a prince?"
"I'm afraid not. Before the Empire installed a governor in place of a monarch, Naboo elected their royalty. But your mother continued to be influential in her homeworld's political dealings as a senator after her term in office ended."
Luke kicked a rock into the river and watched it splash. "Was it a politically arranged marriage? You know, an alliance of power? Did Naboo want to gain favor with the Sith Order?"
"No. I was not a Sith when I knew your mother."
"All right then, the Jedi Order."
Vader snorted. "Jedi were forbidden the privilege of love and marriage. Our union was a clandestine affair. Even she advised against it. She said we would be living a lie, one that would destroy us." A pause. "Looking back, I almost wish I had listened to her."
"Almost?"
He looked him in the eye. "Had we not wed, she would not have borne you."
Luke stared back, astonished. Was this the same man who had tried to kill him three weeks ago?
As if reading his thoughts, Vader answered his question. "I was determined to locate you when I learned of your existence. I hoped to convert you to the dark side. I did not expect you to bring back memories of Padme."
"Padme? That was her name?"
"Padme Amidala. And though you do somewhat resemble me as a younger man, you have inherited some of her features as well." He looked away. "Our encounter brought back memories -- painful ones. And in reaction to that pain I tried to destroy the source. Which is what the Emperor wanted in the first place."
"I thought the Emperor wanted me as one of the Sith."
"Not originally. He prefers your death but will accept you as a fellow Sith." His voice grew quiet. "I loved your mother. And you're all I have left of her. I cannot destroy you. But neither can I let you become a Jedi. It will mean both of our destructions."
Of course. It was all clear now. That was why Vader couldn't destroy him on Bespin. That was why he was so desperate to turn him. It wasn't because he was eager to corrupt him. It was out of love.
"I doubt I can force you to do anything, Luke," Vader went on. "You have inherited a strong stubborn streak from both sides of your family. But for your own good, please reconsider your allegiances."
Before either of them could say anything more, unfortunately, Chang trotted into their clearing.
"Have either of you seen Wara?" he asked.
"Not since last night," Luke confessed.
"I thought she had gone with you," said Vader.
"Yes, but she ran off," Chang replied. "I thought she had returned to her tent, but Jenny and Metria say she never came back to camp."
"This is bad," worried Luke, standing. "We have to find her."
"No we don't!" Metria cut in, materializing next to them.
"Metria!" shouted Vader. "Don't tell me you were eavesdropping!"
"Okay, I won't tell you," she replied. "But that's beside the point. Look on the intelligent side, Luke."
"The what?" he asked.
"Smart, genius, sunny, illuminated..."
"Bright," Chang provided.
"Whatever. Now that Wara's gone, you won't have to put up with her fawning over you all the time! The pest is gone!"
"But if we don't find her," Luke pointed out, "Darius might find her first. And he can force her to tell him about our plans to overthrow him."
"So what? At least she's gone. Wasn't like she was a big help anyway... and just what is so funny, cyber-breath?"
Vader, who had burst out laughing in the middle of the demoness' spiel, calmed down enough to answer. "Metria, I do believe you are jealous!"
"So what? I'm his Companion, and if he summons the stork with anybody, it's gonna be me! Not some horse-woman he ran into at a love spring!"
"And he will not engage in sexual activity with a soulless lustful demoness either," Vader replied menacingly, the laughter gone from his voice. "He deserves better than you."
"Oh-ho-ho, you're asking for it, steel-for-brains," Metria snarled, becoming a griffon.
"Is that a challenge?" demanded Vader, igniting his lightsaber.
"Bring it on!" she taunted. "Not that you can hurt me with your shiny stick..."
"Will you two SHUT UP?!!" Luke shouted.
"He started it," Metria grumped, turning human again.
"I don't care who started it," Luke snapped. "The important thing now is to find Wara, not fight each other. Chang, where's Jenny?"
"I last saw her back at the campsite," the centaur replied.
"Good. We'll need Sammy's services."
But when they reached the camp, Jenny and the cat were nowhere to be seen.
"Jenny?" Vader called, looking around. "Sithspawn. There's no trace of her."
"Oh great, now the elf's abaloned us too," growled Metria.
"She's what?" asked Chang.
"Shellfish, clam, ditched, left..."
"Abandoned," Vader corrected.
"Whatever."
Chang suddenly drew his bow and set an arrow to it. "Luke, behind you!"
Luke drew his blast-her and turned.
A stormtrooper! What was a stormtrooper doing in Xanth? Then again, who was to say it was a stormtrooper? It certainly looked like a stormtrooper -- except most stormtroopers weren't less than a meter tall.
You've got to be kidding me, he thought.
"Hands in the air," the miniature trooper ordered, weapon trained on their party.
Vader couldn't suppress a short laugh. "Any of us could crush you without even trying, I'll have you know."
"Maybe one of us, but not all," the trooper replied as more white-armored soldiers emerged from the forest to surround them. "Now hands in the air."
About thirty of the diminutive troopers ringed the campsite, wielding pistols or rifles. Several of them ushered a startled-looking Jenny into the clearing, while two more wrestled with a very irritated Sammy, who was the size of a massif compared to them. Luke was torn between embarrassment, nervousness, and amusement as he holstered his own weapon and lifted his arms.
"What's with you all?" Metria scoffed as both Vader and Chang followed Luke's example. "Don't tell me you're scared of a bunch of short-shrifts with blast-hers!"
"For your information, ma'am, they're blast-its," the squad leader explained, his rank distinguished by a shoulder pauldron. "Much more versatile weapons than blast-hers or blast-hims. And we're not shrifts. We're imps."
"Imps?" Luke repeated. In their galaxy, "imp" was a common, if derogatory, slang word for any Imperial, but here in Xanth they must be some sort of small humanoid creature, like the goblins and elves.
"Imps," the leader replied. "Of the village of Imp Ire, the only imp settlement north of the Gap Chasm."
Vader shook his head. "I should have guessed."
"What do you want of us?" asked Chang.
"Our Imp-eror wants to speak with you," the leader replied. "You'll follow us, please."
"Why should we?" sneered Metria.
"At the moment we don't have a choice," Luke told her as they trailed after the squad leader.
"Are all imps like this?" Vader asked Jenny.
"Not all," she replied. "The village of Imp Erial is quite regal, and they treat their visitors like royalty. But the villages of Imp Rison and Imp Ossible aren't as friendly. I've never been to Imp Ire, so this is all new to me."
Luke wasn't sure what to expect of Imp Ire, but he wasn't too surprised to find the village was merely an Imperial military outpost built on a somewhat smaller scale. TIE Fighters, Interceptors, and Bombers the size of Imperial probe droids zipped overhead. Neat rows of troopers drilled in perfect formation while officers and other personnel -- who, unmasked, simply resembled green-skinned, knee-high humans -- darted from building to building on whatever business they had. There was even a Stardestroyer in the sky overhead, though it was difficult to judge its size.
At last a black-hooded figure approached, leaning on a gnarled black cane and flanked by scarlet-armored guards. Luke politely smothered a laugh. The Imp-eror looked like an earless dark-side version of Master Yoda.
"Your Highness, we've brought the travelers," the leader greeted, bowing.
"Good," the Imp-eror crooned, gazing up at Luke and Vader. "Welcome to Imp Ire, my friends. What brings you through our territory?"
"We're Players in a game," Luke explained. "One of our party is missing, and we were looking for her when your stormtroopers captured us."
"I see," the Imp-eror replied. "You're mistaken on two counts. These men are jungle troopers, not storm troopers. And you are not captives among us, but guests. I'm afraid we have not seen anyone aside from you pass through our territory for some time, so we cannot tell you where your friend is."
Vader stepped forward. "I call your bluff, Your Excellency. I believe you have our friend captive and are about to demand a ransom for her return."
The Imp-eror looked shocked. "We would never do such a thing!"
"Imps are peaceful folk," Jenny explained.
"Peaceful?!" Chang repeated, looking around at the multitude of troopers and starships.
"When your village is in the heart of goblin territory, of course you must defend yourself," the Imp-eror replied.
Vader nodded. "My apologies. I assumed you meant us ill."
"Apology accepted. We brought your party here to request something of you. You see, we have a dilemma."
Jenny started humming as the Imp-eror's explanation came to vivid life.
Years ago, a group of imps from the village of Imp Erial decided to try their luck in forming a new settlement. They trekked north, crossed the Gap Chasm, and found what appeared to be the perfect place to build a village. With the With-A-Cookie River at its western border, lush jungle on the other three sides, and plentiful trees and bushes bearing foodstuffs, clothing, and other supplies, it was a seeming paradise. So they called a halt to their journey and started building.
But there was one small problem. The spot they had chosen was smack in the center of goblin-held territory.
After that, it was paradise lost. The war-loving goblins laid siege to the intruding imps' village, torturing their men for laughs, kidnapping their women, and raiding their supply stores. It looked to be the end of Imp Ire.
Some imps might have fled, whimpering, back to Imp Erial. But the trek across Xanth had made the imps of Imp Ire resilient, and they weren't about to give up their hard-won home so easily. So instead of retreating, they began developing weapons, armor, and vehicles to battle their foe. They trained imp men and women in the arts of war and created specialized classes of troopers to tackle the job of defending the village -- storm troopers for fighting in bad weather, jungle troopers for forest skirmishes, river troopers for water-borne attacks, and dark troopers for defending Imp Ire at night. Imp Ire not only survived, it prospered.
The goblins would not give up so easily, however. Six months ago they launched a double-attack. First they drove the imp army away from the river and their nearest source of water, fortifying against the imps with a particularly tough breed of wallflower. Then they sabotaged the only safe path out of Imp Ire by planting marshmallow plants around it, turning it into a swamp. Undaunted, the Imp-eror sent a party of jungle troopers to repair the path.
When the troopers failed to return, a rescue party was sent off after them. And when the rescue party vanished, another went after them. The Imp-eror was in the process of organizing a third rescue team when members of the previous groups found their way back -- with no memory.
"No memory of what happened to them?" asked Vader.
"No," the Imp-eror replied. "No memory of anything -- their names, their mission, the faces of their families... nothing. A few have managed to regain their memories, but we can only draw one disturbing conclusion from this." His face became grave. "The goblins placed a forget-whorl in the middle of the swamp."
"A what?" asked Luke.
"A long time ago, there was a spell placed on the Gap Chasm," Chang explained. "A forget spell. It made Xanthians forget the chasm even existed unless they happened to be right next to it. A Xanth-wide disaster we call the Time of No Magic destroyed all Xanth's magic for a short while, and it broke the forget spell into forget-whorls that have now spread all over Xanth. If you blunder into one, you are struck by total amnesia, though there is a chance you will regain your memory."
The Imp-eror nodded. "With no safe route out of Imp Ire and no access to the river, we have no means of obtaining water. For the past six months we have used our emergency stores, but these are now almost dry. To handle the crisis, we sent one of our finest soldiers to the Good Magician's castle for a means of solving the problem. He returned to us long enough to give us the Magician's answer before going back to serve his year."
"And your answer?" asked Chang.
"Await the Walker of the Sky," the Imp-eror replied. "Unusual reply, is it not? I hear his answers are always right, but this one puzzles me..."
Luke felt his jaw drop. "Th-that's me!"
The Imp-eror's eyes lit up with renewed hope. "You?"
"Yes. My name's Luke Skywalker."
The Imp-eror smiled. "And we have stopped every traveler passing through our domain to ask if they were the Walker of the Sky! We had very nearly given up hope!" He extended a hand toward Luke imploringly. "We would be forever indebted to you if you aid us. Move or nullify the forget-whorl, and you will have the services of the Army of Imp Ire to find your missing friend."
Luke felt overwhelmed by the request. He had no idea how to get rid of a magic spell gone awry. But the people of Imp Ire were counting on him. And as Yoda had once said, "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try."
"I'll do it."
"Thank you," the Imp-eror said happily. "My men will lead you to the area the goblins sabotaged."
"Why did you promise them, Luke?" Vader asked as a squadron of jungle troopers led them down a narrow path. "Do you have a plan?"
"Not yet, but I have to help them," Luke replied. "How can I not?"
Vader was silent but obviously didn't approve.
"How much farther?" whined Metria.
"Just past the orange tree here..." began the squad leader.
A scream ripped through the jungle.
"That's Wara!" Chang exclaimed. "She must be in trouble!"
"Don't go running blindly after her," Vader warned. "You could run into the whorl."
"The scream came from ahead," the squad leader told them. "I'd guess your friend is in the whorl. Proceed with caution."
The group halted at the edge of a slimy, foul-smelling bog. What remained of the protected path was visible as muddy islands in the sludge-filled water. And dead center in the mess was Wara, standing on a hummock of dry ground, her white dress flecked with mud and an expression of terror on her face.
"Wara!" Chang shouted. "Hold on! We're coming for you!"
"Who's Wara?" she wailed. "Who are you? Somebody help me!"
"She doesn't recognize us," Jenny realized. "The whorl wiped out her memory."
"If you have a plan, tell us of it," requested the squad leader.
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking!" replied Luke. "Jenny, let me see your pack. Maybe there's something in there that can help."
She handed it over. Luke opened it and dug around. Their map, a few changes of clothing, a blanket, reverse wood...
Reverse wood! He untied the cord and drew one of the sticks out of the pack. Holding it tightly, he waded through the slime to get to Wara.
Something hissed near him, and he spotted a water snake gliding across the water toward him. Instinctively he shoved it away with the stick, and the reptile went flying. Its magic had been reversed, making it a land snake for the time being.
His mother was a beautiful woman, with dark brown hair and eyes... okay, where had that come from?
He'd never told Biggs that it was he who busted his skyhopper's port wing, not Tank... what did that have to do with anything?
And Wes Janson still owed him twenty creds! Thanks to the reverse wood, the whorl was making him remember things he'd previously forgotten, not destroying his memory. Ignoring the random thoughts popping into his mind, he pressed on.
Mud sucked at his legs, and abruptly he found he couldn't go on. The water was now up to his waist, the mud up to his knees, and he was hopelessly stuck in it. He swore loudly as he struggled to pull his legs out of the muck.
Someone grabbed him from behind and yanked him free, then set him down in shallow water. He turned to see Vader, spattered with muck and knee-deep in the swamp.
"Thanks," Luke told him, and this time his gratitude was genuine.
Vader looked around as if confused. "Odd place, isn't this?" He fixed Luke with a vacant stare. "You look familiar somehow..."
Luke snapped his reverse wood in half and shoved one piece into Vader's hand. "Call it even, then."
He shook his head, dazed. "I should have paused long enough to retrieve the other piece, shouldn't I?"
"No time to go back for it. Just keep going."
Wara whimpered in terror as they reached the island where she stood.
"It's all right," Luke told her. "We're here to help you."
She screamed and pointed skyward.
"Harpies!" hissed Vader. "Thousands of them!"
A flock of the ugliest birds Luke had ever seen swooped down at them, shrieking curses that wilted the jungle around them and made the swamp waters boil. Their feathers were caked with filth, their claws split and crusted with dirt, and their human faces hideous to behold, with bloodshot eyes and long greasy hair. The lead harpy dove and slashed at them with ragged talons, only to flap away squawking when Vader rammed a fist into her chest.
Luke drew his blast-her and fired at the creatures. Thank the stars the weapon would be useful against them! But to his surprise, the bolt looped around and streaked toward Vader. He raised his free hand, and the bolt glanced off his gauntlet.
"Remove the reverse wood!" Vader shouted.
"Oops." There was still a chip of the stuff embedded in the weapon. Luke pried it out with his teeth and spit it out on the ground.
Wara tried to run, but Vader grabbed her by the arm and hauled her toward the others. Luke followed close behind, firing at the screeching harpies as they dove and clawed. Though most of his shots found their marks, there were far too many of them. Claws ripped at their clothes and hair as they waded through the bog.
A harpy hit the muck to Luke's right, an arrow through her neck. Obviously Chang was doing what he could to help them reach solid ground. As were the imps -- though their aim was little better than that of their Mundanian counterparts.
At last, muddy and ragged but uninjured, the three of them joined the rest of the group. The harpies continued to dive and slash, though. Metria had assumed dragon form and was launching fireballs at the flock, but the determined bird-women kept coming.
"This calls for fighting dirty!" Metria announced, and she vanished.
"What's she doing?" a trooper demanded.
"Oh, with her, you never know," Luke replied, squeezing off another round.
Abruptly something appeared in the center of the flock -- a small red fruit? What was Metria up to? But before he could ask, the fruit exploded. The harpies were vaporized in an instant. Everyone else covered their eyes at the flash of fire.
"A cherry bomb!" Jenny exclaimed over the noise of the blast. "She became a cherry bomb! Oh, I hope she's all right!"
It was a few minutes before Luke dared look again. A foul-smelling (or was that fowl-smelling?) mist of smoke hung over the area. The bog looked worse than ever, what with the mud churned up and the scorched feathers and dead harpies floating in the scummy water. There was no sign of Metria.
"I've never seen so many harpies in one place before," said Chang.
"Ever since the daughter of a goblin chief married a harpy prince, the goblins and harpies have been working together," the squad leader explained. "But this seems like overkill."
"It was a game challenge," Vader said. "As we're nearing our destination, the challenges are becoming more and more difficult."
"Where'd Metria go?" Luke wondered aloud. Was it possible the demoness had truly been destroyed this time?
An eddy of smoke curled out of the slime and drifted upward. More clumps of mist floated toward it, and they all coalesced into a single column of fog that slowly assumed human form. Metria looked exhausted and, if such were possible, even more disheveled than usual, but she was in one piece.
"If you all don't mind," she said in a weak voice, "I'm going to crawl into the elf's pack and go into stasis for awhile. That last transformation took a lot out of me."
"Metria, you're a hero!" Luke exclaimed. "You saved us all." And he did something he thought he would never do with Metria.
He threw his arms around her and kissed her full on the mouth.
Tired though she was, Metria sure knew how to kiss. By the time he finally broke away from her, his head was spinning. She, in turn, looked shocked.
"I thought you didn't want to summon the stork with me," she breathed.
"True, but you deserved something as a reward," Luke replied. "Call it a good-night kiss if you will."
She gave a dreamy smile. "All right then. Good night, Skyslopper." And she fuzzed into vapor again and drifted into Jenny's bag with a blissful sigh.
Vader shook his head in disdain. "She'll never stop chasing you now."
"Hey, she saved our lives," Luke retorted. "It was the least I could do."
The squad leader cleared his throat. "You did an admirable job of saving your friend, but how do you propose we go about solving the whorl issue?"
Luke mulled over that a moment. Then he realized he'd already solved the issue. "I've handled that already."
The imp cocked his head, curious. "How?"
"Reverse wood." He pointed at the hummock where Wara had stood. The chip of wood he had pulled out of his blast-her still lay there. "As long as that wood remains there, anyone who enters the whorl will have his memory enhanced rather than erased. It's safe for workers to repair the path."
The squad leader bowed. "Thank you, Walker of the Sky."
"That's your name?" asked Wara, looking at him blankly.
"No, it's just what the imps call me. I'm Luke Skywalker."
"Oh. Then what's my name?"
"Wara Werecorn," Vader informed her.
By the time their group entered Imp Ire again, Vader had helped Wara recover almost all of her memory. "Almost" because he conveniently forgot to mention the love spring incident. She had no idea that she was supposed to be in love with Luke, and by the time she remembered that it was hoped that she would have found another love to replace it.
"I have a notion who it's going to be, too," Jenny whispered, nodding at Chang. "I think he has a soft spot for her."
"Hope that works out," Luke whispered back.
The Imp-eror awaited their return, and when he spotted Wara he smiled apologetically.
"You have removed the forget-whorl, then?" he asked.
"Reversed it," Luke replied, and he explained.
"We of Imp Ire thank you whole-heartedly," the Imp-eror replied. "But seeing as you located your missing friend without our aid, I don't know how we can repay you."
"That's not necessary," Luke protested.
"Please," the Imp-eror replied firmly. "We must do something in return."
A trooper stepped forward with a box, and the Imp-eror removed a bright green gem from it and placed it in Luke's hand.
"This emerald was a gift to our people from Jewel the Nymph," he explained. "As a token of our gratitude, we would like the Walker of the Sky to have it. Perhaps it will be of use to him."
Luke smiled as he examined the jewel. It was flawless... and just the right size. Perhaps he would indeed find a use for it.
"And if you ever need aid from the Army of the Imp Ire, simply play a note or two on this," the Imp-eror went on as a second trooper offered them a flute as long as his arm. "Wherever you are in Xanth, we will hear."
"Thank you, Your Highness," said Jenny.
"May the Force be with you," Luke added.
The group hadn't gotten fifty paces out of Imp Ire before both Vader and Luke doubled over laughing.
"What's so funny?" asked Wara.
"A miniature Empire," Vader got out between laughs. "If only my master could see it!"
"The only thing missing was a short Vader," giggled Luke. "You know, the Imp-eror's right-hand imp."
It was several minutes before the two Players had worked out enough of their pent-up laughter to continue, and even then the chuckles didn't stop entirely for at least another hour.
As Vader and Metria took down the tents and Jenny cleared up the remains of the fire, Luke repacked items in Jenny's pack, watching his father all the while. Vader seemed somewhat reserved today. He appeared to have reached a conclusion over something. Would that affect his receptivity to Luke's request?
He handed the pack to Jenny, then spoke.
"Tell me about my mother."
Vader paused. "And a good morning to you, too."
"If you're truly my father," Luke countered, "you'll tell me."
"Oooohh," winced Metria. "Ouch."
Vader turned to the Companions. "Finish without us. We have some things to discuss."
Jenny's eyes sparkled knowingly. "All right."
Luke and Vader moved a little deeper into the forest and sat down on the captain's log by the river. "What is it you want to know?" Vader requested.
"Everything."
"That's a tall order."
"Please. I know nothing about her."
If Vader could have sighed, he probably would have right then. "Very well. When I first met your mother, she was the queen of the Naboo system."
That floored Luke immediately. A queen?!
"Don't look so shocked," Vader advised. "You wanted to know everything."
"I do! But that just... caught me off guard."
Vader nodded. "Not many Tatooine farm youth have royal blood in their veins."
"So... does that make me a prince?"
"I'm afraid not. Before the Empire installed a governor in place of a monarch, Naboo elected their royalty. But your mother continued to be influential in her homeworld's political dealings as a senator after her term in office ended."
Luke kicked a rock into the river and watched it splash. "Was it a politically arranged marriage? You know, an alliance of power? Did Naboo want to gain favor with the Sith Order?"
"No. I was not a Sith when I knew your mother."
"All right then, the Jedi Order."
Vader snorted. "Jedi were forbidden the privilege of love and marriage. Our union was a clandestine affair. Even she advised against it. She said we would be living a lie, one that would destroy us." A pause. "Looking back, I almost wish I had listened to her."
"Almost?"
He looked him in the eye. "Had we not wed, she would not have borne you."
Luke stared back, astonished. Was this the same man who had tried to kill him three weeks ago?
As if reading his thoughts, Vader answered his question. "I was determined to locate you when I learned of your existence. I hoped to convert you to the dark side. I did not expect you to bring back memories of Padme."
"Padme? That was her name?"
"Padme Amidala. And though you do somewhat resemble me as a younger man, you have inherited some of her features as well." He looked away. "Our encounter brought back memories -- painful ones. And in reaction to that pain I tried to destroy the source. Which is what the Emperor wanted in the first place."
"I thought the Emperor wanted me as one of the Sith."
"Not originally. He prefers your death but will accept you as a fellow Sith." His voice grew quiet. "I loved your mother. And you're all I have left of her. I cannot destroy you. But neither can I let you become a Jedi. It will mean both of our destructions."
Of course. It was all clear now. That was why Vader couldn't destroy him on Bespin. That was why he was so desperate to turn him. It wasn't because he was eager to corrupt him. It was out of love.
"I doubt I can force you to do anything, Luke," Vader went on. "You have inherited a strong stubborn streak from both sides of your family. But for your own good, please reconsider your allegiances."
Before either of them could say anything more, unfortunately, Chang trotted into their clearing.
"Have either of you seen Wara?" he asked.
"Not since last night," Luke confessed.
"I thought she had gone with you," said Vader.
"Yes, but she ran off," Chang replied. "I thought she had returned to her tent, but Jenny and Metria say she never came back to camp."
"This is bad," worried Luke, standing. "We have to find her."
"No we don't!" Metria cut in, materializing next to them.
"Metria!" shouted Vader. "Don't tell me you were eavesdropping!"
"Okay, I won't tell you," she replied. "But that's beside the point. Look on the intelligent side, Luke."
"The what?" he asked.
"Smart, genius, sunny, illuminated..."
"Bright," Chang provided.
"Whatever. Now that Wara's gone, you won't have to put up with her fawning over you all the time! The pest is gone!"
"But if we don't find her," Luke pointed out, "Darius might find her first. And he can force her to tell him about our plans to overthrow him."
"So what? At least she's gone. Wasn't like she was a big help anyway... and just what is so funny, cyber-breath?"
Vader, who had burst out laughing in the middle of the demoness' spiel, calmed down enough to answer. "Metria, I do believe you are jealous!"
"So what? I'm his Companion, and if he summons the stork with anybody, it's gonna be me! Not some horse-woman he ran into at a love spring!"
"And he will not engage in sexual activity with a soulless lustful demoness either," Vader replied menacingly, the laughter gone from his voice. "He deserves better than you."
"Oh-ho-ho, you're asking for it, steel-for-brains," Metria snarled, becoming a griffon.
"Is that a challenge?" demanded Vader, igniting his lightsaber.
"Bring it on!" she taunted. "Not that you can hurt me with your shiny stick..."
"Will you two SHUT UP?!!" Luke shouted.
"He started it," Metria grumped, turning human again.
"I don't care who started it," Luke snapped. "The important thing now is to find Wara, not fight each other. Chang, where's Jenny?"
"I last saw her back at the campsite," the centaur replied.
"Good. We'll need Sammy's services."
But when they reached the camp, Jenny and the cat were nowhere to be seen.
"Jenny?" Vader called, looking around. "Sithspawn. There's no trace of her."
"Oh great, now the elf's abaloned us too," growled Metria.
"She's what?" asked Chang.
"Shellfish, clam, ditched, left..."
"Abandoned," Vader corrected.
"Whatever."
Chang suddenly drew his bow and set an arrow to it. "Luke, behind you!"
Luke drew his blast-her and turned.
A stormtrooper! What was a stormtrooper doing in Xanth? Then again, who was to say it was a stormtrooper? It certainly looked like a stormtrooper -- except most stormtroopers weren't less than a meter tall.
You've got to be kidding me, he thought.
"Hands in the air," the miniature trooper ordered, weapon trained on their party.
Vader couldn't suppress a short laugh. "Any of us could crush you without even trying, I'll have you know."
"Maybe one of us, but not all," the trooper replied as more white-armored soldiers emerged from the forest to surround them. "Now hands in the air."
About thirty of the diminutive troopers ringed the campsite, wielding pistols or rifles. Several of them ushered a startled-looking Jenny into the clearing, while two more wrestled with a very irritated Sammy, who was the size of a massif compared to them. Luke was torn between embarrassment, nervousness, and amusement as he holstered his own weapon and lifted his arms.
"What's with you all?" Metria scoffed as both Vader and Chang followed Luke's example. "Don't tell me you're scared of a bunch of short-shrifts with blast-hers!"
"For your information, ma'am, they're blast-its," the squad leader explained, his rank distinguished by a shoulder pauldron. "Much more versatile weapons than blast-hers or blast-hims. And we're not shrifts. We're imps."
"Imps?" Luke repeated. In their galaxy, "imp" was a common, if derogatory, slang word for any Imperial, but here in Xanth they must be some sort of small humanoid creature, like the goblins and elves.
"Imps," the leader replied. "Of the village of Imp Ire, the only imp settlement north of the Gap Chasm."
Vader shook his head. "I should have guessed."
"What do you want of us?" asked Chang.
"Our Imp-eror wants to speak with you," the leader replied. "You'll follow us, please."
"Why should we?" sneered Metria.
"At the moment we don't have a choice," Luke told her as they trailed after the squad leader.
"Are all imps like this?" Vader asked Jenny.
"Not all," she replied. "The village of Imp Erial is quite regal, and they treat their visitors like royalty. But the villages of Imp Rison and Imp Ossible aren't as friendly. I've never been to Imp Ire, so this is all new to me."
Luke wasn't sure what to expect of Imp Ire, but he wasn't too surprised to find the village was merely an Imperial military outpost built on a somewhat smaller scale. TIE Fighters, Interceptors, and Bombers the size of Imperial probe droids zipped overhead. Neat rows of troopers drilled in perfect formation while officers and other personnel -- who, unmasked, simply resembled green-skinned, knee-high humans -- darted from building to building on whatever business they had. There was even a Stardestroyer in the sky overhead, though it was difficult to judge its size.
At last a black-hooded figure approached, leaning on a gnarled black cane and flanked by scarlet-armored guards. Luke politely smothered a laugh. The Imp-eror looked like an earless dark-side version of Master Yoda.
"Your Highness, we've brought the travelers," the leader greeted, bowing.
"Good," the Imp-eror crooned, gazing up at Luke and Vader. "Welcome to Imp Ire, my friends. What brings you through our territory?"
"We're Players in a game," Luke explained. "One of our party is missing, and we were looking for her when your stormtroopers captured us."
"I see," the Imp-eror replied. "You're mistaken on two counts. These men are jungle troopers, not storm troopers. And you are not captives among us, but guests. I'm afraid we have not seen anyone aside from you pass through our territory for some time, so we cannot tell you where your friend is."
Vader stepped forward. "I call your bluff, Your Excellency. I believe you have our friend captive and are about to demand a ransom for her return."
The Imp-eror looked shocked. "We would never do such a thing!"
"Imps are peaceful folk," Jenny explained.
"Peaceful?!" Chang repeated, looking around at the multitude of troopers and starships.
"When your village is in the heart of goblin territory, of course you must defend yourself," the Imp-eror replied.
Vader nodded. "My apologies. I assumed you meant us ill."
"Apology accepted. We brought your party here to request something of you. You see, we have a dilemma."
Jenny started humming as the Imp-eror's explanation came to vivid life.
Years ago, a group of imps from the village of Imp Erial decided to try their luck in forming a new settlement. They trekked north, crossed the Gap Chasm, and found what appeared to be the perfect place to build a village. With the With-A-Cookie River at its western border, lush jungle on the other three sides, and plentiful trees and bushes bearing foodstuffs, clothing, and other supplies, it was a seeming paradise. So they called a halt to their journey and started building.
But there was one small problem. The spot they had chosen was smack in the center of goblin-held territory.
After that, it was paradise lost. The war-loving goblins laid siege to the intruding imps' village, torturing their men for laughs, kidnapping their women, and raiding their supply stores. It looked to be the end of Imp Ire.
Some imps might have fled, whimpering, back to Imp Erial. But the trek across Xanth had made the imps of Imp Ire resilient, and they weren't about to give up their hard-won home so easily. So instead of retreating, they began developing weapons, armor, and vehicles to battle their foe. They trained imp men and women in the arts of war and created specialized classes of troopers to tackle the job of defending the village -- storm troopers for fighting in bad weather, jungle troopers for forest skirmishes, river troopers for water-borne attacks, and dark troopers for defending Imp Ire at night. Imp Ire not only survived, it prospered.
The goblins would not give up so easily, however. Six months ago they launched a double-attack. First they drove the imp army away from the river and their nearest source of water, fortifying against the imps with a particularly tough breed of wallflower. Then they sabotaged the only safe path out of Imp Ire by planting marshmallow plants around it, turning it into a swamp. Undaunted, the Imp-eror sent a party of jungle troopers to repair the path.
When the troopers failed to return, a rescue party was sent off after them. And when the rescue party vanished, another went after them. The Imp-eror was in the process of organizing a third rescue team when members of the previous groups found their way back -- with no memory.
"No memory of what happened to them?" asked Vader.
"No," the Imp-eror replied. "No memory of anything -- their names, their mission, the faces of their families... nothing. A few have managed to regain their memories, but we can only draw one disturbing conclusion from this." His face became grave. "The goblins placed a forget-whorl in the middle of the swamp."
"A what?" asked Luke.
"A long time ago, there was a spell placed on the Gap Chasm," Chang explained. "A forget spell. It made Xanthians forget the chasm even existed unless they happened to be right next to it. A Xanth-wide disaster we call the Time of No Magic destroyed all Xanth's magic for a short while, and it broke the forget spell into forget-whorls that have now spread all over Xanth. If you blunder into one, you are struck by total amnesia, though there is a chance you will regain your memory."
The Imp-eror nodded. "With no safe route out of Imp Ire and no access to the river, we have no means of obtaining water. For the past six months we have used our emergency stores, but these are now almost dry. To handle the crisis, we sent one of our finest soldiers to the Good Magician's castle for a means of solving the problem. He returned to us long enough to give us the Magician's answer before going back to serve his year."
"And your answer?" asked Chang.
"Await the Walker of the Sky," the Imp-eror replied. "Unusual reply, is it not? I hear his answers are always right, but this one puzzles me..."
Luke felt his jaw drop. "Th-that's me!"
The Imp-eror's eyes lit up with renewed hope. "You?"
"Yes. My name's Luke Skywalker."
The Imp-eror smiled. "And we have stopped every traveler passing through our domain to ask if they were the Walker of the Sky! We had very nearly given up hope!" He extended a hand toward Luke imploringly. "We would be forever indebted to you if you aid us. Move or nullify the forget-whorl, and you will have the services of the Army of Imp Ire to find your missing friend."
Luke felt overwhelmed by the request. He had no idea how to get rid of a magic spell gone awry. But the people of Imp Ire were counting on him. And as Yoda had once said, "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try."
"I'll do it."
"Thank you," the Imp-eror said happily. "My men will lead you to the area the goblins sabotaged."
"Why did you promise them, Luke?" Vader asked as a squadron of jungle troopers led them down a narrow path. "Do you have a plan?"
"Not yet, but I have to help them," Luke replied. "How can I not?"
Vader was silent but obviously didn't approve.
"How much farther?" whined Metria.
"Just past the orange tree here..." began the squad leader.
A scream ripped through the jungle.
"That's Wara!" Chang exclaimed. "She must be in trouble!"
"Don't go running blindly after her," Vader warned. "You could run into the whorl."
"The scream came from ahead," the squad leader told them. "I'd guess your friend is in the whorl. Proceed with caution."
The group halted at the edge of a slimy, foul-smelling bog. What remained of the protected path was visible as muddy islands in the sludge-filled water. And dead center in the mess was Wara, standing on a hummock of dry ground, her white dress flecked with mud and an expression of terror on her face.
"Wara!" Chang shouted. "Hold on! We're coming for you!"
"Who's Wara?" she wailed. "Who are you? Somebody help me!"
"She doesn't recognize us," Jenny realized. "The whorl wiped out her memory."
"If you have a plan, tell us of it," requested the squad leader.
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking!" replied Luke. "Jenny, let me see your pack. Maybe there's something in there that can help."
She handed it over. Luke opened it and dug around. Their map, a few changes of clothing, a blanket, reverse wood...
Reverse wood! He untied the cord and drew one of the sticks out of the pack. Holding it tightly, he waded through the slime to get to Wara.
Something hissed near him, and he spotted a water snake gliding across the water toward him. Instinctively he shoved it away with the stick, and the reptile went flying. Its magic had been reversed, making it a land snake for the time being.
His mother was a beautiful woman, with dark brown hair and eyes... okay, where had that come from?
He'd never told Biggs that it was he who busted his skyhopper's port wing, not Tank... what did that have to do with anything?
And Wes Janson still owed him twenty creds! Thanks to the reverse wood, the whorl was making him remember things he'd previously forgotten, not destroying his memory. Ignoring the random thoughts popping into his mind, he pressed on.
Mud sucked at his legs, and abruptly he found he couldn't go on. The water was now up to his waist, the mud up to his knees, and he was hopelessly stuck in it. He swore loudly as he struggled to pull his legs out of the muck.
Someone grabbed him from behind and yanked him free, then set him down in shallow water. He turned to see Vader, spattered with muck and knee-deep in the swamp.
"Thanks," Luke told him, and this time his gratitude was genuine.
Vader looked around as if confused. "Odd place, isn't this?" He fixed Luke with a vacant stare. "You look familiar somehow..."
Luke snapped his reverse wood in half and shoved one piece into Vader's hand. "Call it even, then."
He shook his head, dazed. "I should have paused long enough to retrieve the other piece, shouldn't I?"
"No time to go back for it. Just keep going."
Wara whimpered in terror as they reached the island where she stood.
"It's all right," Luke told her. "We're here to help you."
She screamed and pointed skyward.
"Harpies!" hissed Vader. "Thousands of them!"
A flock of the ugliest birds Luke had ever seen swooped down at them, shrieking curses that wilted the jungle around them and made the swamp waters boil. Their feathers were caked with filth, their claws split and crusted with dirt, and their human faces hideous to behold, with bloodshot eyes and long greasy hair. The lead harpy dove and slashed at them with ragged talons, only to flap away squawking when Vader rammed a fist into her chest.
Luke drew his blast-her and fired at the creatures. Thank the stars the weapon would be useful against them! But to his surprise, the bolt looped around and streaked toward Vader. He raised his free hand, and the bolt glanced off his gauntlet.
"Remove the reverse wood!" Vader shouted.
"Oops." There was still a chip of the stuff embedded in the weapon. Luke pried it out with his teeth and spit it out on the ground.
Wara tried to run, but Vader grabbed her by the arm and hauled her toward the others. Luke followed close behind, firing at the screeching harpies as they dove and clawed. Though most of his shots found their marks, there were far too many of them. Claws ripped at their clothes and hair as they waded through the bog.
A harpy hit the muck to Luke's right, an arrow through her neck. Obviously Chang was doing what he could to help them reach solid ground. As were the imps -- though their aim was little better than that of their Mundanian counterparts.
At last, muddy and ragged but uninjured, the three of them joined the rest of the group. The harpies continued to dive and slash, though. Metria had assumed dragon form and was launching fireballs at the flock, but the determined bird-women kept coming.
"This calls for fighting dirty!" Metria announced, and she vanished.
"What's she doing?" a trooper demanded.
"Oh, with her, you never know," Luke replied, squeezing off another round.
Abruptly something appeared in the center of the flock -- a small red fruit? What was Metria up to? But before he could ask, the fruit exploded. The harpies were vaporized in an instant. Everyone else covered their eyes at the flash of fire.
"A cherry bomb!" Jenny exclaimed over the noise of the blast. "She became a cherry bomb! Oh, I hope she's all right!"
It was a few minutes before Luke dared look again. A foul-smelling (or was that fowl-smelling?) mist of smoke hung over the area. The bog looked worse than ever, what with the mud churned up and the scorched feathers and dead harpies floating in the scummy water. There was no sign of Metria.
"I've never seen so many harpies in one place before," said Chang.
"Ever since the daughter of a goblin chief married a harpy prince, the goblins and harpies have been working together," the squad leader explained. "But this seems like overkill."
"It was a game challenge," Vader said. "As we're nearing our destination, the challenges are becoming more and more difficult."
"Where'd Metria go?" Luke wondered aloud. Was it possible the demoness had truly been destroyed this time?
An eddy of smoke curled out of the slime and drifted upward. More clumps of mist floated toward it, and they all coalesced into a single column of fog that slowly assumed human form. Metria looked exhausted and, if such were possible, even more disheveled than usual, but she was in one piece.
"If you all don't mind," she said in a weak voice, "I'm going to crawl into the elf's pack and go into stasis for awhile. That last transformation took a lot out of me."
"Metria, you're a hero!" Luke exclaimed. "You saved us all." And he did something he thought he would never do with Metria.
He threw his arms around her and kissed her full on the mouth.
Tired though she was, Metria sure knew how to kiss. By the time he finally broke away from her, his head was spinning. She, in turn, looked shocked.
"I thought you didn't want to summon the stork with me," she breathed.
"True, but you deserved something as a reward," Luke replied. "Call it a good-night kiss if you will."
She gave a dreamy smile. "All right then. Good night, Skyslopper." And she fuzzed into vapor again and drifted into Jenny's bag with a blissful sigh.
Vader shook his head in disdain. "She'll never stop chasing you now."
"Hey, she saved our lives," Luke retorted. "It was the least I could do."
The squad leader cleared his throat. "You did an admirable job of saving your friend, but how do you propose we go about solving the whorl issue?"
Luke mulled over that a moment. Then he realized he'd already solved the issue. "I've handled that already."
The imp cocked his head, curious. "How?"
"Reverse wood." He pointed at the hummock where Wara had stood. The chip of wood he had pulled out of his blast-her still lay there. "As long as that wood remains there, anyone who enters the whorl will have his memory enhanced rather than erased. It's safe for workers to repair the path."
The squad leader bowed. "Thank you, Walker of the Sky."
"That's your name?" asked Wara, looking at him blankly.
"No, it's just what the imps call me. I'm Luke Skywalker."
"Oh. Then what's my name?"
"Wara Werecorn," Vader informed her.
By the time their group entered Imp Ire again, Vader had helped Wara recover almost all of her memory. "Almost" because he conveniently forgot to mention the love spring incident. She had no idea that she was supposed to be in love with Luke, and by the time she remembered that it was hoped that she would have found another love to replace it.
"I have a notion who it's going to be, too," Jenny whispered, nodding at Chang. "I think he has a soft spot for her."
"Hope that works out," Luke whispered back.
The Imp-eror awaited their return, and when he spotted Wara he smiled apologetically.
"You have removed the forget-whorl, then?" he asked.
"Reversed it," Luke replied, and he explained.
"We of Imp Ire thank you whole-heartedly," the Imp-eror replied. "But seeing as you located your missing friend without our aid, I don't know how we can repay you."
"That's not necessary," Luke protested.
"Please," the Imp-eror replied firmly. "We must do something in return."
A trooper stepped forward with a box, and the Imp-eror removed a bright green gem from it and placed it in Luke's hand.
"This emerald was a gift to our people from Jewel the Nymph," he explained. "As a token of our gratitude, we would like the Walker of the Sky to have it. Perhaps it will be of use to him."
Luke smiled as he examined the jewel. It was flawless... and just the right size. Perhaps he would indeed find a use for it.
"And if you ever need aid from the Army of the Imp Ire, simply play a note or two on this," the Imp-eror went on as a second trooper offered them a flute as long as his arm. "Wherever you are in Xanth, we will hear."
"Thank you, Your Highness," said Jenny.
"May the Force be with you," Luke added.
The group hadn't gotten fifty paces out of Imp Ire before both Vader and Luke doubled over laughing.
"What's so funny?" asked Wara.
"A miniature Empire," Vader got out between laughs. "If only my master could see it!"
"The only thing missing was a short Vader," giggled Luke. "You know, the Imp-eror's right-hand imp."
It was several minutes before the two Players had worked out enough of their pent-up laughter to continue, and even then the chuckles didn't stop entirely for at least another hour.