Always My Soul
By: dragonfly-rising
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters
~ Kagome ~
Kagome paced around her room, her mind whirling. Tosh watched her patiently, stroking his beard and at times shaking his head. Kagome was only too aware of why Tosh shook his head at her and she was doing her best not lose her anger in amusement with how stupid she had been when speaking with Kee. Kee had only been trying to help her; she knew that yet for some reason whenever the dark miko came close to her, either here in the sanctuary or just spiritually Kagome's mood drastically would change. Tosh shook his head again and this time Kagome didn't let it go by.
"What?!" she exclaimed throwing her hands in the air.
"You are perfectly aware of "what" Tosh admonished her.
She rolled her eyes, "It isn't my fault she just irritates me"
"Everyone seems to." Tosh agreed
She sighed, letting go of the last of her anger without difficulty. She walked over and sat by Tosh. It seemed easier since Kee left to not be angry. For some reason after Kagome had stopped crying she had felt truly empty of all that she had been holding onto since she came to this era. As if in some way she had struck a dam inside her self and everything had flowed out allowing her the actual peace she had been seeking here.
"Shall we talk now or are you still being stubborn?" Tosh asked lightly.
"That depends...are you going to go off about duty again?" She returned.
Tosh chuckled, "No I think you have had more then enough of that subject. I was willing to talk of anything you desired."
Kagome glanced at him and distrusted the smile on his face. Sure it seemed gentle and wise but underneath it there was a calculating mind. She shrugged off the thought. It didn't matter if Tosh always found some way to steer the conversation towards what she ought to do, she enjoyed the time they spent together. The longer she stayed here with him the stronger his presence became, which brought to her mind something she had been wondering all this time about.
"Tosh...were you human when you were alive?" She asked quietly then looked at him.
He actually grinned at her approvingly then tapped his forefinger on her nose, "I knew you were intelligent"
She couldn't help but giggle, "Well?"
"Well what?" He countered innocently.
She rolled her eyes, "Were you a human when you were alive?"
"Oh that" He remarked as if he had forgotten.
"Come on Tosh, just answer the question and don't lie you are an awful liar"
He huffed at her, "I'll have you know young miko I have always been an excellent liar"
"I seriously doubt that...you don't have it in you to lie"
He fake glared at her, "I most certainly do"
"Nope you really don't Tosh"
He huffed again, "You should watch who you call a truth teller...its just an insult to certain people you know"
She giggled at his choice of words, "I bet you were a youkai...weren't you"
Tosh winked at her, "You would win that bet Kagome"
"And you weren't just ANY youkai were you Tosh. You were an important one."
Tosh's expression grew slightly troubled, "Kagome..."
She placed a hand on his comfortingly, "I won't ask anything else Tosh I don't really need to know anymore. I know there are some things that people just want to keep to themselves"
His expression cleared instantly and Kagome knew she had said the right thing. For the first time in what seemed like ages she felt lighthearted. Her mood turned serious suddenly.
"I don't want to die Tosh," she whispered to him.
Tosh nodded slowly, "You don't have to Kagome"
"But..."
"There are very few times in life that you actually have a real, clear choice Kagome. The rest of the time is spent stumbling and picking yourself up again. It takes a very strong person to be able to walk back into life once they have rejected it. I know that you are that type of person dear girl"
The warmth in his voice brought tears to her eyes. She had so many doubts about her abilities. So many things she would never think to voice bothered her about her own weaknesses.
"One of my children, he reminds me of you. He has tried so very hard to fit in. Has gone to so many lengths to be accepted for who and what he is. I have never been able to tell him how proud I am of his ability to pick himself up after a defeat and move forward. He is quite a remarkable young man. I know you have all that you need inside of you to do what you know you need to do. I also know you do not think you are ready yet. I respect that you have doubts but you must never let them stop you from being true to your own heart."
A single tear slid down Kagome's cheek but this time it was out of happiness. She held Tosh in such high regard that she felt it was a great honor for him to compare her to one of his children. Impulsively she threw herself forward and hugged him. He returned the hug without reservation.
"Ah Kagome you make me wish I had had at least one daughter" He said almost too softly for her to hear.
She smiled to herself, "I don't want to make a mess of this Tosh. I've spent too much time hurting over things I should never have taken so seriously."
"Silly miko, your heart is not something one can turn on and off. You feel so much because you have a strong compassion. It is not an easy thing to deal with. It was a wonder you held up as long as you did without something happening. You must try to think of this as time away to collect yourself and clear your mind. Perhaps by tomorrow the others will reach the Temple and you will be needed."
Kagome felt a stir of fear, "What if I can't do what you think I can"
Tosh chuckled, "I have faith in you Kagome"
"How will I know what to do?"
"Timing my dear, all you need is good timing and a little luck. Just remember you are not alone in this fight, no matter how much you believe it you will never truly be alone. I will always watch over you."
By: dragonfly-rising
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters
~ Kagome ~
Kagome paced around her room, her mind whirling. Tosh watched her patiently, stroking his beard and at times shaking his head. Kagome was only too aware of why Tosh shook his head at her and she was doing her best not lose her anger in amusement with how stupid she had been when speaking with Kee. Kee had only been trying to help her; she knew that yet for some reason whenever the dark miko came close to her, either here in the sanctuary or just spiritually Kagome's mood drastically would change. Tosh shook his head again and this time Kagome didn't let it go by.
"What?!" she exclaimed throwing her hands in the air.
"You are perfectly aware of "what" Tosh admonished her.
She rolled her eyes, "It isn't my fault she just irritates me"
"Everyone seems to." Tosh agreed
She sighed, letting go of the last of her anger without difficulty. She walked over and sat by Tosh. It seemed easier since Kee left to not be angry. For some reason after Kagome had stopped crying she had felt truly empty of all that she had been holding onto since she came to this era. As if in some way she had struck a dam inside her self and everything had flowed out allowing her the actual peace she had been seeking here.
"Shall we talk now or are you still being stubborn?" Tosh asked lightly.
"That depends...are you going to go off about duty again?" She returned.
Tosh chuckled, "No I think you have had more then enough of that subject. I was willing to talk of anything you desired."
Kagome glanced at him and distrusted the smile on his face. Sure it seemed gentle and wise but underneath it there was a calculating mind. She shrugged off the thought. It didn't matter if Tosh always found some way to steer the conversation towards what she ought to do, she enjoyed the time they spent together. The longer she stayed here with him the stronger his presence became, which brought to her mind something she had been wondering all this time about.
"Tosh...were you human when you were alive?" She asked quietly then looked at him.
He actually grinned at her approvingly then tapped his forefinger on her nose, "I knew you were intelligent"
She couldn't help but giggle, "Well?"
"Well what?" He countered innocently.
She rolled her eyes, "Were you a human when you were alive?"
"Oh that" He remarked as if he had forgotten.
"Come on Tosh, just answer the question and don't lie you are an awful liar"
He huffed at her, "I'll have you know young miko I have always been an excellent liar"
"I seriously doubt that...you don't have it in you to lie"
He fake glared at her, "I most certainly do"
"Nope you really don't Tosh"
He huffed again, "You should watch who you call a truth teller...its just an insult to certain people you know"
She giggled at his choice of words, "I bet you were a youkai...weren't you"
Tosh winked at her, "You would win that bet Kagome"
"And you weren't just ANY youkai were you Tosh. You were an important one."
Tosh's expression grew slightly troubled, "Kagome..."
She placed a hand on his comfortingly, "I won't ask anything else Tosh I don't really need to know anymore. I know there are some things that people just want to keep to themselves"
His expression cleared instantly and Kagome knew she had said the right thing. For the first time in what seemed like ages she felt lighthearted. Her mood turned serious suddenly.
"I don't want to die Tosh," she whispered to him.
Tosh nodded slowly, "You don't have to Kagome"
"But..."
"There are very few times in life that you actually have a real, clear choice Kagome. The rest of the time is spent stumbling and picking yourself up again. It takes a very strong person to be able to walk back into life once they have rejected it. I know that you are that type of person dear girl"
The warmth in his voice brought tears to her eyes. She had so many doubts about her abilities. So many things she would never think to voice bothered her about her own weaknesses.
"One of my children, he reminds me of you. He has tried so very hard to fit in. Has gone to so many lengths to be accepted for who and what he is. I have never been able to tell him how proud I am of his ability to pick himself up after a defeat and move forward. He is quite a remarkable young man. I know you have all that you need inside of you to do what you know you need to do. I also know you do not think you are ready yet. I respect that you have doubts but you must never let them stop you from being true to your own heart."
A single tear slid down Kagome's cheek but this time it was out of happiness. She held Tosh in such high regard that she felt it was a great honor for him to compare her to one of his children. Impulsively she threw herself forward and hugged him. He returned the hug without reservation.
"Ah Kagome you make me wish I had had at least one daughter" He said almost too softly for her to hear.
She smiled to herself, "I don't want to make a mess of this Tosh. I've spent too much time hurting over things I should never have taken so seriously."
"Silly miko, your heart is not something one can turn on and off. You feel so much because you have a strong compassion. It is not an easy thing to deal with. It was a wonder you held up as long as you did without something happening. You must try to think of this as time away to collect yourself and clear your mind. Perhaps by tomorrow the others will reach the Temple and you will be needed."
Kagome felt a stir of fear, "What if I can't do what you think I can"
Tosh chuckled, "I have faith in you Kagome"
"How will I know what to do?"
"Timing my dear, all you need is good timing and a little luck. Just remember you are not alone in this fight, no matter how much you believe it you will never truly be alone. I will always watch over you."