Always My Soul
By: dragonfly-rising
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters
Inuyasha gazed at the Temple of the Soul with a mixture of trepidation and grim resolve. It was an unassuming building. Only having one level and made of simple wood, its double doors flung open in what he supposed was an inviting way. To him it just made the small building look more sinister.
He was completely exhausted. For the past two days he had been too anxious to sleep at all. He had stayed up those nights to reassure himself that Kagome's body continued to function and found him self obsessively watching the continuous rise and fall of her breathing. Everyday Kee assured him that Kagome still existed within her private sanctuary. But Inuyasha only became more disturbed as signs of Kee/Kagome's declining health became more and more apparent. Her face had taken on a sallow tone and looked haggard. Dark circles of bruised flesh lay under her light blue eyes. From time to time Kee would become short of breath and they would have to stop, resting until her breathing returned to normal. She refused Inuyasha's offers to carry her and when questioned she would only say she was dangerous in her current condition.
Even more stressful was Miroku's solicitous concern over Inuyasha's health since he had fully recovered from his encounter with the warring miko energies. Inuyasha reasoned that Miroku had been severely traumatized by the incident. Inuyasha had not been touched by the energies at all due to Miroku's selfless act though he had felt the influence through their contact. Since Inuyasha had approached Kee and spoken at great length about the phenomenon he was not as troubled as the monk. She had assured him it was not something he should be overly concerned about. Her reasoning was that since Miroku could, through his spiritual training, sense youkai it was not a great stretch to imagine he could have simply channeled Kagome to Inuyasha without realizing that he was doing so. Miroku had taken such a large amount of the energy into himself that he had possibly convinced himself that he had injured Inuyasha because he felt he had not protected the hanyou enough. Logical as the explanation was Inuyasha could not help but be annoyed with Miroku's attention.
Sango on the other hand had become remote. The best anyone could get from her was murmurs of acknowledgement. As far as Inuyasha knew she spent most of her time staring off, her face a careful mask of calm.
He couldn't blame Sango for her bend towards isolation. None of them had really opened up about what had occurred. They all had taken their own demons from the contact. He supposed even he carried the haunted look in his eyes that he had observed in Sango and Miroku's. He found he couldn't shake any of the emotions from his mind. Kee had taken the time to explain to them that they all carried this type of ...duality. It was her term and Inuyasha had been hard pressed to pay attention once she started using words that he barely understood or cared to understand. Except this time it had stuck in his mind. Kagome's duality had ripped and clawed at his heart, leaving him raw and exposed.
He shrugged off such thoughts when Kee walked up to stand beside him. He glanced over at her, concerned. Her breathing was labored again and sweat beaded on her forehead. Her entire demeanor was of a person on their last leg. He looked away, sickened by his anxiety.
"Will you be able to do this Kee?" he asked her in a low voice.
"If not me...then who else...Inuyasha?" She asked back between breaths.
Miroku, on the other side of Kee, sighed heavily, "Is there any other way around this? Why exactly do you have to be the one to seal this Ferlias? Is he all that much trouble?"
"The last time Ferlias was allowed to escaped his seal he massacred hundreds of thousands of humans and youkai alike. None who stood in his way survived. Though a greater youkai lord supported last time the miko who sealed him. The youkai lord lost his life in the struggle. The miko survived only long enough to seal him. There was great power used that day. Now we have only my power to do this and it will be done even if it required this soul to do it." She stated resolutely.
"Who was the youkai lord?" Inuyasha asked curiously.
"The Lord of the Southern Lands, a great cat youkai named Usuti."
Inuyasha's eyebrows rose, "Isn't that the name of..."
"Yes the name of the priest we are going to, so he may try to heal Kagome" Kee interrupted her breathing finally returned to normal
"Is that a coincidence?" Sango asked.
"No more coincidence then my name being Kee, then Kikyo, then Kagome for this soul's reincarnation" Kee commented with amusement.
"One of the previous carnations was responsible for sealing Ferlias?" Miroku asked.
Kee nodded slowly, " It is circular. Hopefully this will be the last time."
"Why don't you just destroy him?" Inuyasha asked.
"If it were that easy it would have been done. Ferlias is a special kind of youkai. He is not just a youkai he is also a higher being of immense power. The mixture makes him impossible to kill, at least by miko standards. Until such a time comes that someone discovers a permanent way to kill him resealing him to the void is all that can be done. This is how it has been since he was born into this world."
"Why haven't other higher beings destroyed him?" Inuyasha asked exasperated with the whole thing.
He hated the idea of Kagome being charged with such an awesome responsibility as this. He resented it for her and Kee's sake. If the higher beings had allowed Ferlias to emerge in the first place he couldn't understand why they, or namely Kee/Kagome, had to clean up after such a monumental mistake.
"They cannot. It is impossible for them to exist as Ferlias does and that is the only way for them to be able to affect him. If they did it would upset the natural balance to such a large extent that it would allow even worse abominations then Ferlias to come into this world. It is difficult to maintain this balance. So they create such beings as the mikos trying to correct missteps like Ferlias." Kee explained.
"So this is unavoidable," Sango asserted.
"Yes it is unavoidable."
"Wait...if a youkai lord helped the last miko to seal Ferlias how are you going to be able to do it alone?" Miroku asked worriedly.
"I did not say the youkai lord helped the miko Miroku...just that he supported her."
Inuyasha easily picked up on the play of words, "She had to fight both of them?"
"Yes...at first Usuti did stand in the way of Ferlias's emergence. Once he realized how powerful the miko was he turned on her and lost his life. Now his reincarnation waits for us inside."
"We are walking into a trap?!" Inuyasha exclaimed.
"Yes...did you not think Usuti would betray us to open the seal? It is what must happen. This situation has happened before...until the cycle is broken it will happen again. But I cannot shrink from my role in this. If no one stands against Ferlias many will die that are innocent...and those not so innocent."
Inuyasha was deeply disturbed by the fatalistic tone of Kee's voice.
~ She does not expect to survive this. ~
Kee took a step forward then turned her eyes passing over all of them and Inuyasha got a sense that she was taking their measure. She was silent for so long Inuyasha flinched when she began speaking due to tension.
"All of you must remember what I have to say, you must take it to heart. Kagome's ability to return may depend on your trust in her and her abilities. Her survival may rest on it. I will not being going in there as Kee but as Kagome and I must be able to convince Usuti that I do not wish to be as I am. He must believe it completely. None of you can react as if that isn't the truth of the matter. Hold Kagome in your hearts tightly, do not let her go no matter what you think is the right thing for you to do. She is not allowed to fade away."
As she spoke Inuyasha found his eyes wandering to the unassuming temple. He thought perhaps they might just be walking into the worst situation they had ever encountered. That perhaps not all of them would be walking back out of the double doors to feel the sun on their faces again. The thought was mind numbing and Inuyasha pushed it away, praying it was not the truth.
By: dragonfly-rising
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters
Inuyasha gazed at the Temple of the Soul with a mixture of trepidation and grim resolve. It was an unassuming building. Only having one level and made of simple wood, its double doors flung open in what he supposed was an inviting way. To him it just made the small building look more sinister.
He was completely exhausted. For the past two days he had been too anxious to sleep at all. He had stayed up those nights to reassure himself that Kagome's body continued to function and found him self obsessively watching the continuous rise and fall of her breathing. Everyday Kee assured him that Kagome still existed within her private sanctuary. But Inuyasha only became more disturbed as signs of Kee/Kagome's declining health became more and more apparent. Her face had taken on a sallow tone and looked haggard. Dark circles of bruised flesh lay under her light blue eyes. From time to time Kee would become short of breath and they would have to stop, resting until her breathing returned to normal. She refused Inuyasha's offers to carry her and when questioned she would only say she was dangerous in her current condition.
Even more stressful was Miroku's solicitous concern over Inuyasha's health since he had fully recovered from his encounter with the warring miko energies. Inuyasha reasoned that Miroku had been severely traumatized by the incident. Inuyasha had not been touched by the energies at all due to Miroku's selfless act though he had felt the influence through their contact. Since Inuyasha had approached Kee and spoken at great length about the phenomenon he was not as troubled as the monk. She had assured him it was not something he should be overly concerned about. Her reasoning was that since Miroku could, through his spiritual training, sense youkai it was not a great stretch to imagine he could have simply channeled Kagome to Inuyasha without realizing that he was doing so. Miroku had taken such a large amount of the energy into himself that he had possibly convinced himself that he had injured Inuyasha because he felt he had not protected the hanyou enough. Logical as the explanation was Inuyasha could not help but be annoyed with Miroku's attention.
Sango on the other hand had become remote. The best anyone could get from her was murmurs of acknowledgement. As far as Inuyasha knew she spent most of her time staring off, her face a careful mask of calm.
He couldn't blame Sango for her bend towards isolation. None of them had really opened up about what had occurred. They all had taken their own demons from the contact. He supposed even he carried the haunted look in his eyes that he had observed in Sango and Miroku's. He found he couldn't shake any of the emotions from his mind. Kee had taken the time to explain to them that they all carried this type of ...duality. It was her term and Inuyasha had been hard pressed to pay attention once she started using words that he barely understood or cared to understand. Except this time it had stuck in his mind. Kagome's duality had ripped and clawed at his heart, leaving him raw and exposed.
He shrugged off such thoughts when Kee walked up to stand beside him. He glanced over at her, concerned. Her breathing was labored again and sweat beaded on her forehead. Her entire demeanor was of a person on their last leg. He looked away, sickened by his anxiety.
"Will you be able to do this Kee?" he asked her in a low voice.
"If not me...then who else...Inuyasha?" She asked back between breaths.
Miroku, on the other side of Kee, sighed heavily, "Is there any other way around this? Why exactly do you have to be the one to seal this Ferlias? Is he all that much trouble?"
"The last time Ferlias was allowed to escaped his seal he massacred hundreds of thousands of humans and youkai alike. None who stood in his way survived. Though a greater youkai lord supported last time the miko who sealed him. The youkai lord lost his life in the struggle. The miko survived only long enough to seal him. There was great power used that day. Now we have only my power to do this and it will be done even if it required this soul to do it." She stated resolutely.
"Who was the youkai lord?" Inuyasha asked curiously.
"The Lord of the Southern Lands, a great cat youkai named Usuti."
Inuyasha's eyebrows rose, "Isn't that the name of..."
"Yes the name of the priest we are going to, so he may try to heal Kagome" Kee interrupted her breathing finally returned to normal
"Is that a coincidence?" Sango asked.
"No more coincidence then my name being Kee, then Kikyo, then Kagome for this soul's reincarnation" Kee commented with amusement.
"One of the previous carnations was responsible for sealing Ferlias?" Miroku asked.
Kee nodded slowly, " It is circular. Hopefully this will be the last time."
"Why don't you just destroy him?" Inuyasha asked.
"If it were that easy it would have been done. Ferlias is a special kind of youkai. He is not just a youkai he is also a higher being of immense power. The mixture makes him impossible to kill, at least by miko standards. Until such a time comes that someone discovers a permanent way to kill him resealing him to the void is all that can be done. This is how it has been since he was born into this world."
"Why haven't other higher beings destroyed him?" Inuyasha asked exasperated with the whole thing.
He hated the idea of Kagome being charged with such an awesome responsibility as this. He resented it for her and Kee's sake. If the higher beings had allowed Ferlias to emerge in the first place he couldn't understand why they, or namely Kee/Kagome, had to clean up after such a monumental mistake.
"They cannot. It is impossible for them to exist as Ferlias does and that is the only way for them to be able to affect him. If they did it would upset the natural balance to such a large extent that it would allow even worse abominations then Ferlias to come into this world. It is difficult to maintain this balance. So they create such beings as the mikos trying to correct missteps like Ferlias." Kee explained.
"So this is unavoidable," Sango asserted.
"Yes it is unavoidable."
"Wait...if a youkai lord helped the last miko to seal Ferlias how are you going to be able to do it alone?" Miroku asked worriedly.
"I did not say the youkai lord helped the miko Miroku...just that he supported her."
Inuyasha easily picked up on the play of words, "She had to fight both of them?"
"Yes...at first Usuti did stand in the way of Ferlias's emergence. Once he realized how powerful the miko was he turned on her and lost his life. Now his reincarnation waits for us inside."
"We are walking into a trap?!" Inuyasha exclaimed.
"Yes...did you not think Usuti would betray us to open the seal? It is what must happen. This situation has happened before...until the cycle is broken it will happen again. But I cannot shrink from my role in this. If no one stands against Ferlias many will die that are innocent...and those not so innocent."
Inuyasha was deeply disturbed by the fatalistic tone of Kee's voice.
~ She does not expect to survive this. ~
Kee took a step forward then turned her eyes passing over all of them and Inuyasha got a sense that she was taking their measure. She was silent for so long Inuyasha flinched when she began speaking due to tension.
"All of you must remember what I have to say, you must take it to heart. Kagome's ability to return may depend on your trust in her and her abilities. Her survival may rest on it. I will not being going in there as Kee but as Kagome and I must be able to convince Usuti that I do not wish to be as I am. He must believe it completely. None of you can react as if that isn't the truth of the matter. Hold Kagome in your hearts tightly, do not let her go no matter what you think is the right thing for you to do. She is not allowed to fade away."
As she spoke Inuyasha found his eyes wandering to the unassuming temple. He thought perhaps they might just be walking into the worst situation they had ever encountered. That perhaps not all of them would be walking back out of the double doors to feel the sun on their faces again. The thought was mind numbing and Inuyasha pushed it away, praying it was not the truth.