PLEASE READ AND REVIEW: I was thrilled at how many thoughtful, lengthy, in-depth reviews I've gotten to the last two chapters. It's been overwhelming and a big help, as I am revising the rest of the story.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Some rules are made to be broken, especially self-imposed ones. I had not planned on having an original character narrate a chapter. But I really wanted to explore Kaiba's early life, so I needed an outsider who could talk about it. I had originally planed to have Yami narrate the chapter, as Sensei Fukuzatso told the story of Seto's life, but then I realized I needed more than his words – I needed his thoughts on his most disturbing student. I also needed a more distant tone, so I wanted the chapter narrated by someone who was not in love with Seto. I'm not a fan of original characters intruding in a story – so please feel free to think of him as a plot device, although I tried to give him a personality.
As I said in the last chapter, I thought the martial arts, would be an important part of Kaiba's life. I think he needed the balance and sense of peace and focus that the martial arts can provide. But I didn't want the dojo to be a refuge, or the sensei to be a father substitute – or at least not a satisfactory one – since I think that Kaiba has never had anyone to depend on, and that lack is one of the defining things about his personality.
VOCABULARY NOTES: According to the Japanese/English dictionary I looked at in Barnes and Noble (I love that place) the Sensei's name, Fukuzatso, means 'mixed feelings' for reasons, that I hope will be clear by the end of the chapter. Otouto means (I believe) little brother.
STYLE NOTE: ITALICS indicate a conversation that took place in the past.
COOKING NOTE: Kitsure Soba is (according to the Japanese cookbook I looked at in Barnes and Noble (again) a sweet noodle and tofu dish. At least it should be sweet -–it had enough sugar in the recipe. It also looked pretty easy to make.
MARTIAL ARTS NOTES: I do understand that it is impossible that any one person would be an expert at all the different martial arts I describe in this chapter. But when I thought about it, each martial art seemed to either work well as a metaphor for some aspect of Kaiba's personality, or be particularly appropriate for a stage in his life. So I decided to throw take a lot of literary license, and throw them all into my story. So, please suspend disbelief – after all this is a story about a guy who lived in a puzzle.
BO or BO STAFF: This is basically a long stick, about the height of the person using it. The type of Bo I picture Kaiba using is a modern one – it would be six feet long, about the diameter of a broom stick, with tapered ends. Using mostly two-handed (with some one-handed and release moves) the person makes sweeping, slashing and thrusting moves very quickly. I needed a martial art that Kaiba could practice on his own. I planed to use the more common Karate, but the Bo (which is kind of a subset of Karate), has a combination of grace and deadly accuracy that seemed perfect for Kaiba.
AS USUAL, ADDITIONAL AUTHOR'S NOTES AND RESPONSES TO REVIEWS ARE AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER.
CHAPTER 17: WHAT ARE LITTLE BOYS MADE OF?
SENSEI FUKUZATSO'S NARRATIVE
I noticed the boy with the wild hair as I swept the front steps after my last class. He was wandering up the block; it was hard to believe our meeting was by chance. He nodded as I greeted him. I was pleased he did not pretend surprise.
So it was the silent stranger from the night before who helped me lock up. I looked him over, determining his age, and offered him a beer. He smiled, obviously remembering that the night before, I had offered Seto only water. But some stories are told best with alcohol, and I had been waiting to tell Seto's' story, and mine, for a long time.
Although I knew it was baseless, my heart felt a vague guilt over Seto, and my part in his life. I suppose it was that nebulous, unjustified feeling that had led me to reward his prowess with the black belt that his attendance had not earned. But then, I had been afraid to speculate on the reason for his many absences.
We drank our beers for a moment in silence, settling into the empty dojo. My guest gave me his name, and waited patiently. When I spoke, it was without expression, as if I was recounting a fairy tale, or an ancient history. I have always found it difficult to summon emotion where Seto was concerned.
"I've known Seto a long time, but less well with each year that passed." I began. "I first met him when he was just a child, younger than Mokuba is now, maybe only seven. He would come to the judo class, wheeling Mokuba in his stroller. He was a serious boy, even then, but within five minutes he'd be rolling on the floor like a puppy, playing with the other children. Sometimes, when his father was working late, he would help me straighten up and get ready for the adult class in the evening. I don't think he liked taking Mokuba back to an empty house, so I would let him stay. We'd have dinner together, usually kitsure soba. He always had a bit of a sweet tooth."
My guest interrupted, without noticing, speaking almost to himself.
"The cook must know him better than I thought. Whenever he's missed a couple of meals, that's the dish she makes." He smiled, "Seto won't admit to any weakness – even for sugar, but now I know why Mokuba's always trying to drag him out for ice cream, and how he wins so easily."
I sighed. I had seen Seto try to stamp out his humanity too often to be amused or to have patience with his quirks.
"After dinner, he'd sit through the jujitsu class, doing his homework, while Mokuba slept on the mat beside him, until their father honked the car horn, for them to come out and go home.
After his father's death, he came occasionally, still with Mokuba in tow. I think he was sneaking out of the orphanage – or maybe no one cared as long as they were back for dinner. He told me seriously that he couldn't pay the class fee, but if I let him come, he would keep a record and pay me when he grew up. He wanted to learn self defense -- I think to protect Mokuba. The younger boy would sit on the mat and watch, like always, but now, Seto would snarl if anyone got too close."
I took another swallow of beer, for the first time avoiding my guest's eyes, before continuing.
"He always left as soon as the class ended, hurrying back to the orphanage. One day he stayed behind. He had been tense all through class, for once, inattentive. Although Seto was only nine, he was worried about what would happen if no one adopted them before he turned 18, and grew too old to remain in the orphanage."
"Sensei," he had said, bracing himself, before blurting out, "I can't leave Mokuba alone there. I've made too many enemies protecting him. The minute I'm gone, they'll close in on him. I'm afraid of what they'll do. When I turn 18, will you adopt him? Just until I can earn enough to support us both. I'll do anything in return. Please, help."
I had never heard him plead before, but there was only one answer I could give.
"You know I can't promise that Seto. But it'll work out. You'll see. Someone will want you both."
"No one has so far. Why should the future be any different? They all look at me and see a genius. They look at him and see nothing. Nobody sees that he's everything – not even you."
"Be patient. Have faith." I told him sternly, but he was beyond hearing me.
He bowed formally, looked me in the eye, and said proudly, "Then I challenge you. You've taught me well. Now let's see if I've surpassed you. If I can win a match before I turn 18 – then will you adopt Mokuba?"
I laughed, until I realized that he was serious. Then I told him angrily, "You insult me. Only a madman would play with people's lives as if it was a game."
He smiled, but it was a cold, calculating smile.
"Thanks for the tip."
"Something broke within him after that. He still came to class, when he could, and was still polite, but he was distant now, as if a wall of ice had sprung between us. I welcomed it. I wanted no more impossible requests.
From then on, he came less often, always with a chess book in his hand. As the year went on he got more and more excited. He was sure he had found a home – the best in Domino, he boasted, a slight sneer in his voice."
"I know that tone. He learned it so young." My guest murmured sadly to himself.
Seto learned everything too young. Somehow, one tended to forget that when confronted with his aloof personality. But something told me my guest would not agree, and I didn't stop to debate it. Now, I only wanted to finish my tale as quickly as possible.
"One day, he came to the dojo in a limo. He had been adopted by Gozaburo Kaiba, of all people. I was relieved. For a while, he and Mokuba came regularly again. Then, he disappeared. I was a little surprised, but that happens with boys -- he had a new life now, and I knew he was still angry.
He showed up at my door again, weeks later, like a wild creature in the night. For the first time, he was without Mokuba. He had always been quiet, but now he didn't talk at all – it was as if he had forgotten how. I was disturbed. I tried to get him to speak with me after class, but he turned and ran back out into the night.
One morning I found Mokuba was on my doorstep. He didn't explain or ask for help. There was no point – I knew that whatever had happened, nothing could make Seto turn back from any course of action he had decided upon. Mokuba simply begged me to take his brother back -- pleaded with me not the press Seto to talk, to just accept him, and let him be. I hesitated. I was no longer sure that my teachings could satisfy the untamable creature Seto was becoming, or that my class could hold him. That night, he had worn darkness like a coat he could throw on and off again at will. But when I looked at Mokuba's face, I just couldn't refuse him. I promised to do what he wanted.
So Seto came back, when he could get away. Often weeks, or even months would pass between visits. He asked for karate katas, so he could practice by himself, at home. They were practically the only words he spoke all year. I did not encourage him to talk. It was more than my promise to Mokuba that silenced my questions. I could not have done anything other than refuse him, but I did not want to see the consequences of that refusal, did not want to know what was happening in his life.
It during that year that he discovered the bo."
"How could he have hoped to keep such a long object hidden from Gozaburo?" Yami asked, then answered his own question, saying with a fond grin, "He's nothing if not resourceful. I wondered why he kept an old broom stick handle among his weapons. "
I looked at him quizzically. "Do you know the history of the bo?"
His crimson eyes widened as he considered the implications of Kaiba's choice. The bo staff was a peasant's weapon, originally meant to be used as a defense against a more powerful and more heavily armed enemy.
"I read about Gozaburo's suicide in the paper, like everyone else." I continued. "I expected to see Seto again, regularly – but instead a messenger delivered a check. It covered everything – all the back lessons, even the sodas and food I had given him and Mokuba over the years – with interest. I went to the Kaiba Mansion for the first time, only to be greeted by Mokuba.
"You can't see him." the boy told me flatly at the door.
"Why not?"
He didn't answer me directly. "He'll return when he's ready. He'll need a place to come back to then. Besides, you don't really want to see him now."
"Why not?" I repeated. "What's happened?"
"You never wanted to know what was going on before. Why the sudden interest now? Besides, didn't you promise not to ask any questions?"
I shrugged, "He was right. After all those years of detachment, I had lost the right to demand explanations. But Mokuba had never reminded me so much of his brother before."
"I've met that Mokuba too." My visitor said. "Seto made sure that his otouto's life followed a different path. He's tried so hard to erase any signs of himself in the boy, as if he was a disease that Mokuba needed to be vaccinated against -- never seeing that the traits they share are part of what makes Mokuba so special – the same fierce loyalty and reckless courage. Yet, I think it would kill him if he ever realized how much like him, Mokuba really is."
I looked at my visitor with renewed interest. I had never heard anyone speak of Seto in that tone of doting fondness. Once again, it seemed that my impulse to trust Mokuba's instincts had been sound. I shook my head in wonder, as I continued.
"I went back to the dojo. The next thing I heard was that Seto was in a coma, and not expected to recover."
I was surprised to see a look of pain flash across those crimson eyes, although he didn't speak.
" Then one day he just walked in, as if he had never been gone. I would have questioned him, but there was a stillness to him that I was afraid to shatter. Besides, I had …"
"Promised Mokuba," he finished for me.
"He's very talented," Yami added. "I understand why he never competed as a child, but why hasn't he entered tournaments now?"
Given Seto's competitive nature, and pure love of fighting, it was a reasonable question, but now it was my turn to smile.
"Most boys learn the martial arts to prove themselves; they need to compete. It is a rare child who comes here seeking peace."
I finished my beer. I had given him my story – Seto's story – as though it was a gift.
He bowed and thanked me. I tossed the empty bottles in the trash, and answered his one remaining unspoken question.
"In all the years I've known Seto, he's never brought anyone to watch him before. Not even his father came to his first promotion. He fought with an extra spark last night. You may not have noticed – but he was showing off."
AUTHOR'S NOTES: It's tempting to picture Seto as part of a happy family before his parents' death – but I think that was only true until his mother's death. I don't see his father as being a bad or an abusive father, but I think he would have been grief stricken at the loss of his wife, and overwhelmed by the suddenly being suddenly responsible for a new born and a five-year old. He also probably wasn't used to taking complete care of them on a daily basis – that would have been largely his wife's responsibility, and he would suddenly be the sole provider for these two small kids. I can see him throwing himself into his work, not realizing he was doing it to avoid his feelings, possibly even telling himself he was working overtime for his kids -–if you think about it, that's kind of the way Kaiba himself operates. In short, I think he would have been too grief stricken, depressed and overwhelmed to really provide the emotional support his children, particularly his eldest son, needed.
I also didn't want the sensei to be the villain in this, even if he couldn't give Seto the kind of help he needed. After all, it's reasonable that he couldn't promise to adopt Mokuba, and to his credit that he didn't lie about it. I think as time went on, he would find Seto increasingly disturbing. If you read the early mangas, Seto is turning into a cold, almost inhuman character.
I do think, however that unintentional damage can still be devastating, and the message Seto would have gotten was that in the end, no one would care enough about him, and that he couldn't rely on anyone but himself.
UPDATE NOTE: I've been trying to update once a week. The next one will be a couple of days late -- probably the following Tuesday or Wednesday. I decided I needed a chapter developing the relationship (platonic) between Yami and Mokuba. Not so much an inner dialog, as a heart to heart conversation. Anyway, I'm trying to get it into shape, and will post it before Thanksgiving.
Crimson Winter, Kagemihari, Tuulikki, Samurai-ashes – Seto: Kagemihari described Seto as a proud fierce dragon with a fragile heart full of courage. That is exactly how I see him. I thought the dojo would be a good place to show that warrior side of him. Paradoxically (is that a word?) I think Seto has another side, he hasn't gotten to meet very often – the side of him that is getting to experience physical affection for the first time. Both sides seemed to need to be expressed here.
- Animebay-b, Blue September, Crimson Winter, Kagemihari, Tuulikki – Mokuba: I love writing Mokuba. He's not as dark as Seto, yet he's not a happy, innocent kid either. Sometimes I feel like he's trying to hold on to the sunny side of his personality, because he knows the price his brother paid for it – so his optimism is almost a labor of love. I think he doesn't quite get how much Yami cares for both of them, but one good thing about writing in different POVs is the characters don't always have to be correct in their assumptions – and certainly not in their feelings. Oh, yeah – at the very end, I was implying that Mokuba knew Yami would want to talk to the Sensei because he could tell him about Seto's childhood. But he also knows Seto might not want him to, because he hates revealing information about himself. (Although I have this idea that Seto might not mind Yami knowing him better – as long as he didn't have to talk about it.) So Mokuba wouldn't go against his brother's probable wishes, unless he believed it was in Seto's best interest.
- Lightning Sage, Mistress of Dragons, Red Dragon, Vegeta999 – Martial Arts: I had no idea how many readers had practiced various martial arts. I'm glad you think the Bo Staff suits Kaiba. I've just started learning it, I love it, and couldn't help but think it fits his personality. I had considered having him do kendo, because there's something about a sword that suits his austere personality – but then when I realized the bo was originally a peasant's weapon, it seemed to fit his battle with Gozaburo.
- Blue September, Unintentional Nightmare – love, tension and anger: Well with Seto those three go together. I think Seto not only believes that people will eventually abandon or abuse him – he believes, because of his past actions, this is what he deserves. So I think it would be a struggle for him to be with someone. I wanted to show that the more he wants Yami to stay, the more he would try to drive him away. I think Yami understands this -- even if understanding is sometimes not enough to keep him from getting angry, it is enough to ensure his forgiveness.
Blue September, Spirit Star, Tuulikki – Style: Thank you. I've tried to develop different voices for the characters. A more thoughtful, romantic tone for Yami; a clipped, bitter tone for Seto, with flashes of dark humor, and times when the phrases all come out in a rush -–like his emotions, and a young, yet sad tone for Mokuba.
- Ceresi – Seto/Yami: I'm pretty heavily influenced by the manga and subtitled dvds. I do think of Seto as being painfully unhappy , and I've also tried to capture his bitter humor -- I sometimes wince as I'm writing Seto's narratives. I also think of Yami as someone who is wise, but is also learning to deal with a new life. Romance: partly because it's PG-13, and partly because it's the way I've chosen to write this story, I try to describe the romance through the emotions of the characters -- –w they feel, rather than what they're doing. I'm glad you like that part of the story, it's something that I'm always trying to get right – to be emotionally intense without sappiness, and to show Seto falling in love, with out it being OOC. Dialog: Yeah, as you can tell, I've had a hard time working in the dialog. I'm trying to make sure each chapter has at some dialog, but it's been a struggle.
- Chibi Angelic Slayer, Seto-Kaiba's-fan – Thank you for your continued reviews. I'm glad the story is keeping your interest, especially seeing how long it's getting.