CONTINUATION OF

CHAPTER 18: SOMETIMES, THREE'S NOT A CROWD

MOKUBA'S NARRATIVE

Because Yami had never asked, I found myself talking about those first days, after our adoptive father died. Even now, I can't bring myself to say his name. Part of me believes it would call him back, like in a bad horror movie where the villain never really dies. My brother might say 'Dead is dead', but I remember Noa's World, and I'm not taking any chances.

"I thought everything would get better after he died. My brother would be the way he was before. Pretty stupid, huh? Well some things did change. Nisama started destroying Kaiba Corporation's weapons factories – even before they had released the body from the morgue.

"Well, it's done. The last factory is down." Nisama had announced right after the funeral, "Kaiba Corporation is out of the weapons business." There was grim satisfaction in his voice, but no joy – and he didn't smile.

"Great, Nisama! Where are we going to celebrate?"

"There's nothing to celebrate. The weapons already sold will still be killing people when you're an old man."

"You kept your promise. We could celebrate that."

"But for how long?" he muttered. "The Big Five know I betrayed them now. This isn't a game of strategy any more, Mokuba. I'm building a house of cards. One false move and it could all come crashing down around our heads."

"Could we wind up back in the orphanage?" Despite my best intentions, my voice trembled.

"Never. I'll do whatever it takes – but you're never going back there. That's a promise."

He smiled, but it was our adoptive father's harsh grin. I was getting used to seeing it on my brother's face.

"No margin for error. No mistakes." Although my brother's anything but superstitious, he chanted it like it was a spell that could ward off disaster.

"You don't make mistakes," I reminded him.

"I can't afford to. Until the dueling platforms come out, there's nothing Kaiba Corporation is producing that a dozen other companies aren't making as well. The only thing I'm selling is my reputation as Japan's Number 1 gamer. Do you know what that means?" he snarled, suddenly angry. "I can't lose – not even once. Not at anything.

I shouldn't have done it. I should have waited. I'm a murderer already. Another month or two can't change that. But I couldn't stand to see the weapons I designed killing people for even one more day."

"It's okay Nisama. There's nothing to worry about. You know you never lose."

"And then he did lose," Yami sighed. "To me. After all he'd been through, it must have seemed like the final, deadly, threat. No wonder he keeps having that nightmare I gave him. I never meant for it to last."

I smiled. There were still some things I knew that Yami didn't. "Nisama never lets go of anything – and that was your first gift to him. But you weren't really the one that drove him over the edge. It was the Blue Eyes White Dragon."

"What's wrong? Why are you giving me this back?" I had asked, looking at the hand-made Blue Eyes White Dragon card my brother had carried since we came to the mansion.

"I had the real thing."

"You got a real Blue Eyes? How?"

"I stole it."

"You WHAT?"

"You heard me. Some old fool had it. He lent it to his even stupider grandson. I had it in my hands. I just couldn't give it back. It was like I was holding a piece of my soul. What a joke – like I have one."

"Don't say that. You're the best person I know."

"That Blue Eyes didn't think so. Neither would you, if you'd just open your eyes and see who I really am. Your Nisama's dead. I'm all that's left – and if you had a brain in your head, you'd start running, now. You think I'm still your brother? Grow up! That Blue Eyes knows me better than you do."

"How can you say that?"

"It must. You love me. It rejected me."

He made a sound like an animal with its leg caught in a trap. It took me a moment to recognize his laugh. Another, to be glad I heard it so rarely, now.

"Did I say it rejected me? It despised me. The card I've waited for, for so long – my aibou. Well, I got what I deserved, pinning my hopes on a card. And HE sat there smirking the whole time -- like he knew what that Blue Eyes was going to do. Like they both knew that I'm nothing inside – like they knew that Gozaburo was right – that I'm just a stray dog from the gutter.

That Blue Eyes took one look at me, and killed itself rather than fight at my side. It's just as well. At least I know where I stand now."

"Do you get it Yami?" I asked. It was important he understood. "That's why I challenged you. My brother doesn't believe it, but he really is the best person I know. And I couldn't let anyone hurt him like that. Well, you know the rest."

" Seto was right about one thing, only. The dragon he destroyed was as much a part of his soul as the other three. How could it do anything but rebel against what he had become – and how could he do anything but hate it?" Yami sighed, "So, it all started with that card. Am I the only one who sees the hand of fate at work?"

"My brother doesn't believe in fate."

"And you?"

"I'm not my brother."

"No you're not," he answered, " but you're very like.."

"Yugi." I finished for him. "Yeah, I know. People are always telling me that."

"In some ways, that's true." he said thoughtfully. "You have the same warmth, the same eagerness, the same enthusiasm for life. But I was going to say -- you're very like your brother."

I grinned from ear to ear. He couldn't have said anything that would have made me happier. And it gave me the courage to ask some questions of my own. I had known Yami for years, and lived with him for months – but in so many ways he was a puzzle. And that wasn't good enough any more. I had finally admitted to myself that I really liked Yami, that I trusted him (well, as much as I trusted anyone besides Nisama), that I wanted him around – not just for Nisama, but for me too. But I needed to know the person I'd let come this far into our lives. And sitting here through the night with him, listening to Nisama's steady breaths, it was easy for the questions to come tumbling out.

"What's it like – not having any memories?"

"I'm not sure. I have nothing to compare it to. I don't know what it's like to have memories. But it feels like there's a hole in my heart – like something that should be there is missing."

"Do you remember your parents?" I whispered.

"No, not really. I can't remember my mother at all. And I can only recall vague glimpses of my father."

He spoke calmly as ever, but I hadn't lived with Nisama for this long without learning to read body language, even in the dark. I crawled into his lap, and hugged him.

"It'll be okay, Yami. I can't remember mine, either. You get used to it, after a while." I smiled as I felt his arms tighten around me; heard his breath catch.

I used to think it'd be cool, not having a past. After all, I'd give a lot to trade in my memories of the orphanage or our adoptive father – but not at the price of forgetting Nisama too. Then I remembered, Yami had known him, back then.

"In Egypt, were you and Nisama …" I hesitated, but Yami knew what I meant.

"I don't know. I wish I did."

I could have kicked myself when I heard the sadness in his voice. Maybe my brother has the right idea – keeping his mouth shut all the time. Sometimes talking is like taking a stroll through a field laced with Kaiba Corporation mines.

"Well," I said lamely, "My brother says it's the future that matters, not the past."

"I hope your brother's right," he replied, but we both knew that Nisama didn't believe his own words, no matter how often he repeated them.

"Having friends helps." he offered.

I thought about that. I had friends – guys I hung around with, had fun with. But until Yami, I don't know that I had had a friend I could talk to – except Anzu, of course – and I didn't get to see her that often. (If I was a little older, I'd have given Yugi a run for his money, though.)

"Is that why you drag Nisama out with you sometimes, when you go to see your friends?" And believe me, dragged was the right word – although my brother never complained or hesitated, there was no doubt he looked on this as one more unpleasant chore in his life.

"A little. I wanted them to get used to him, to get used to us. Would you believe me if I told you that I'm proud of your brother, and wanted to show him off a little?"

"Well I would, but Nisama wouldn't."

He laughed. "And Yugi and Anzu like him." For the first time there was a slightly defensive note in his voice. So he had noticed my brother's discomfort, too.

"That doesn't count. Anzu and Yugi like everyone. What about Sugoroku?"

I'd always wondered if he hated Nisama more for the heart attack or the Blue Eyes. Having lived with a duelist, I was willing to bet it was dragon responsible for the ice in his voice when he spoke of my brother.

"He's warmed up to Seto quite a bit."

"Oh yeah – so who told him about Noa's world – you or Yugi?"

"Both. He's actually pretty paternal now. He keeps trying to feed him. He thinks Seto's too skinny."

"Oh. That must drive my brother nuts."

Yami just smiled. He was the only person I knew who could look sheepish and smug at the same time.

"And Jou? Is he all buddy-buddy with Nisama now, too?"

"He's all right."

I narrowed my eyes. "If you're going to lie, try a better one."

"Well, if you want a direct quote – I think the first thing he said was, 'Damn Yugi, you shouldn't have let him out of his puzzle, if the first thing he was going to do was shack up with Seto Kaiba!"

I grinned. For some reason, Jou's insults rarely bothered me. Maybe because they were so funny.

"But everything's been fine so far." he added.

I took that to mean no blood had been spilled.

"I think Noa's World affected us all." He said thoughtfully.

I reckoned it was more likely they were afraid of Yami, but saw no reason to point that out.

"So if everything was okay, why'd you stop taking him?" I was kind of sorry. I mean I knew my brother didn't like the outings, but I thought they were good for him. I was a little bit jealous of him – getting to hang out with Yugi's friends, to tell the truth.

"He's sit in a corner staring at the wall." Yami said slowly, "He looked bored, but I could tell he was miserable. I couldn't do that to him. Sometimes I don't understand your brother. He was so unhappy. I don't know why it bothered him so much, or why he kept agreeing to go. It's not like he's ever been shy about expressing his opinion of Yugi's friends."

"But he hasn't insulted them lately, has he?" I pointed out.

"No. Not in months." He said, still not getting it.

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes Yami could be so clueless.

"Of course Nisama's not going to refuse to go. He knows how important your friends are to you. That's all that counts with him. Haven't you figured it out yet? He'll never say 'no' to you again – not on anything that matters. Yami, if he thought you needed him to take a header off of the Kaiba Corporation tower, he'd be flying a chopper to the roof this minute. Next to that, even being nice to Jou, is chump change."

I laughed at the look on Yami's face. Although, to be fair, when you're on the receiving end, my brother's insane ideas of loyalty can take some getting used to.

He looked at Nisama, thoughtfully; an expression coming into his crimson eyes, that I'm sure I wasn't meant to see. He reached out and stroked Nisama's hair, letting his hand linger on my brother's head.

"Next time, if it's not a school night, do you want to come?" he asked.

"You bet! It sounds like you need me. If I'm around, no one will notice Nisama's not talking. And he can watch me instead of the walls." I laughed, "Besides, if I know you guys, everyone but Nisama's playing duel monsters. It'll be cool!"

"Would you like to learn the game?" he asked, as if suddenly aware that except for that time at Duelist's Kingdom, he had never seen me play.

"Only when Nisama's ready to teach me."

"You know," he said, ruffling my hair, like he did my brother's (I don't know why – it's not like his was any neater). "I never had a brother. And I never knew what I was missing. Seto's very lucky."

"I'm sorry Yami, but that job's already taken." I liked Yami, but even for him, I wouldn't pretend that anyone could come close to Nisama in my book. But I wanted to do something for him.

"I know -- you can be my cousin. Not quite a brother – but more than a friend."

He was startled. "That's odd – I had a cousin, once – Seto."

I could see what he meant by the hand of fate. But I can't say I cared much. Fate was another thing I didn't want to mess with. Besides, I had more important things to think about. If we were cousins now, I could ask what was really on my mind.

"If you're happy with Seto, why do you still go see Yugi by yourself so much?"

"Because he's my hikari," he said gently, "and nothing can change that. When you hear your brother cry out, why do you come running, even though you know that I'm here, and will take care of him?"

I grinned again, "Because he's my Nisama – and nothing can ever change that!"

I had only one question left – but even I knew better than to ask it. I wasn't sure that the answer mattered anyway. But I wondered – if it hadn't been for Anzu, who would Yami be with now – my brother or Yugi?

AUTHOR'S NOTES: In 'The Last Unicorn', the unicorn explains that she can't regret, then goes on to say that she can sorrow, but that it's not quite the same. I see Yami sort of the same way. As Kaiba points out in an earlier chapter that remorse really isn't in his nature, but I don't see him as being unmoved by the very real pain the Kaiba brothers are experiencing. I don't think he regrets his actions in the first duel or at Death-T, (certainly some of them were necessary), but I think he would experience sadness at seeing some of the consequences. It's a kind of tricky distinction.

School: In an earlier chapter, Kaiba is pretty responsible about overseeing Mokuba's homework. I think Kaiba would want Mokuba to go to school mainly because it's something he never got to do. And of course he would want Mokuba to succeed – no Bs for a Kaiba! But Seto himself never went to school for any appreciable length of time. They show classrooms in the orphanage, indicating they didn't go to a public school, but had some kind of lessons on the premises. If you want to be charitable, you could say Kaiba was 'home-schooled' by Gozaburo. They make the point in the manga that Kaiba was a new student when he first meets Yugi, and he drops out after the first shadow duel, about a week later. So, I'm not sure he would understand why it was important for Mokuba to go to school regularly. However, Kaiba Corporation is important to him, and Mokuba is a vice-president. So I think he wouldn't hesitate to pull him out of school to test new products.

Mokuba: One thing I find really cute about Mokuba in the manga is that he occasionally gets impatient with Yugi and friends because of their naivete. Especially when they arrive at Duelist's Kingdom, he's practically rolling his eyes at them because they're not familiar with the nuances of Pegasus and Kaiba Corporation's business intrigues. So I tried to show that side of him a little here.

RSPONSES TO REVIEWS:

Samurai-ashes, Tainted Fortune – Author's Notes: I'm glad you like them. I tend to have a lot of thoughts left over about Yami and the Kaiba brothers – and this seemed an okay place to put them. Also, combined with the story, the reviews and the responses, it seemed to be as close to a dialog as the format allows. However, I admit, I also try to put them at the end, so they're easier for people to ignore, if they find them boring. Oh yeah – the line about the guy in the puzzle was meant as a joke. My sense of humor (which can sometimes be like Kaiba's) sometimes comes out more in the ANs than in the story.

AnimeFan-Artemis, Blue September, Samurai-ashes, Tainted Fortune, Tuulikki, Unsolvable Riddle – Showing off: I'm glad you thought it was funny. It's not often I get to have Seto do something cute, without being OOC. As Blue September said, "the good old male quality – the need to show off to the ones you love." And I see Kaiba as such an emotionally inarticulate person that I'm always looking for ways to have him show his love non-verbally. It was one of the first parts of the chapter I wrote, when originally the sensei was more of a father figure, but I left it in (besides wanting some humor after the rest of the chapter) to show that even though they had a troubled relationship, the sensei did understand Seto.

Chibi Angelic Slayer, Lightning Sage, Unsolvable Riddle – Seto's past: I find his past fascinating, because so many of the problems he's dealing with have such long roots. This chapter though, is the last that focuses on it so directly, and so intensively -- although, obviously, it's a thread that continues throughout the story.

Blue September – Drinking Age: I didn't realize the drinking age in Japan is 20. Maybe we could pretend the sensei is near-sighted, and thought Yami was older?

Lightning Sage – Different personalities: I'm glad you like the different voices. Next time, I try a new one.

Blue September, Red Dragon 4, Samurai-ashes – OC: I tend not to like original characters, mainly because I want to read about the YuGiOh guys – and no one else. So, I was a bit hesitant about breaking one of my own rules – until I decided obsessive is one thing, stupid is another – I needed him to narrate. I'm glad he wasn't intrusive.

DBZEcoGoth – Thank you. I find YuGiOh to be a dark story – it's one of the things I like about it. I guess, since I stick so close to my impression of the characters, my story is fairly dark as well, although I'm coming to realize the importance of a little humor in the mix.

AnimeFan-Artemis: I always look for your reviews, and long or short, I appreciate them.

Animebay-b, Spirit Star, Seto-Kaiba's-fan: Thank you for continuing to read and review the story, and for encouraging me to update.