Glossary of Japanese words:
Arigato: Thank you
Bakumatsu: final chaotic days of the Tokugawa regime.
Bokken: bamboo sword, often used for training.
Busu: old hag
-chan: Used when attached to the end of a name. It is used when that person is very close to you, or if that person is young.
De gozaru: term that Kenshin uses at the end of some of his sentences. It literary means 'is so'. Samurai use it when they talk.
Dojo: a school for a specific talent. For example a karate dojo or a kendo dojo.
-dono: Used attached to the end of a name. It is an honorific and highly respectively way to address someone.
Gi: Samurai shirt
Gomen nasai- I'm sorry
Hai: yes
Hakama: Samurai pants
Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu: An ancient sword style dating back to the Sengoku period. It is a very dangerous style that focuses on speed and skill. Kenshin uses it.
Hitokiri - assassin
Iie: no
Ishin Shishi: A group of pro-imperialists during the Meiji Restoration. They were fighting to restore the emperor to the throne.
Ja ne: sort of like 'see you later'
Jo-chan: Sano's nickname for Kaoru. It means 'little missy'.
Kami-sama: god
Kamiya Kasshin-ryu: The swords style Kaoru and Yahiko use. It focuses more on using the sword to protect rather than kill.
Katana: The samurai's foremost sword. It's very long, curved, and it's the most perfected sword in the world.
Kendo: sword fighting
Kimono: Traditional dress (there are different types for men and women)
Obi: The tie around a kimono
Onegai: please
Onigiri: Riceballs
Oro: Kenshin's own word. He uses it when he is surprised. It's sort of like 'huh'.
Rurouni: wanderer (the official word is roni, but they changed it for the show)
Ryu Tsui Sen: One of the Hiten Mitsurugi attacks. Dragon Hammer Flash. The user jumps into the air, and comes down with a slash.
Sakabotou: a reverse blade sword
Sake: rice wine
-san: term of respect used at the end of a person's name. Sort of like Mrs., Miss, or Mr.
Sessha: Kenshin's word substitute for 'I'. It literally translates to 'this unworthy one'.
Sensei: teacher
Shoji: paper door
Dorei no Unmei
(Slave of Fate)
Kenshin glanced over at Kaoru as he scrubbed at the laundry, the sleeves of his magenta gi tied back to keep them from getting wet. It was just like him to be doing the laundry, or cooking the food. The reason was that he simply the only one who could do it. Kaoru was a wonderful person. Kenshin knew that for a fact, but there were some things that the eighteen year old woman could not do.
Kaoru could not be described as anything, but a tomboy. Her mother died when she was young and her father, the master of a kendo dojo had raised her. Instead of learning the ways of women, like cooking and cleaning and flower arranging, Kaoru learned the ways of the sword.
Even though Kaoru dressed like a man when she was around the house, Kenshin could not help but notice how beautiful she really was. He glanced over where she was currently training Yahiko, her apprentice. Her long black hair was tied back in its usual practical high ponytail that whipped through the air as she swung her bokken at a fast pace. Her stern, but kind sapphire eyes glinted in the afternoon light as she began to scold her apprentice.
"Yahiko, you're doing it all wrong! You have to swing your bokken higher!" she said harshly as she demonstrated by swinging her bokken in the air and landing a hit on his right shoulder.
Yahiko winced as it connected with his flesh. "Busu! I know what I'm doing! I've seen Kenshin do it a million times and he's a much better swordsman than you! Man, I wish I was learning that Hiten Mitsurugi style of Kenshin's instead of your lame Kamiya Kasshin!" he wined as he rubbed his shoulder.
Kaoru's brow furrowed and she smacked him hard on the head. "You little brat! I'm your sensei, not Kenshin so get used to it! You're never going to get anywhere at this rate! We're done for today. Two hundred strokes and then I'll have you scrub the floors!"
Yahiko grumbled and rubbed his spiky black hair. He hated being called little even though he was still only ten years old. He didn't feel like ten. He had had a hard life before he met up with Kaoru and became her apprentice. His father had been a samurai, but after the Meiji Restoration there was no need for samurai anymore, so his family had become very poor. His father had died not long after the revolution ended, and his mother was barely able to put food on the table. Not that long ago she had fallen ill and died, leaving him alone to pay for the hospital bills. Unable to find a way out he had been forced to be a pickpocket for the Yakuza syndicate. Kaoru had been the one who had helped him get out of that horrible life. He was grateful to her, but that still didn't mean that he liked her training sessions.
"Kenshin?" Kaoru yelled annoyed with everything.
Kenshin looked up from his work. "Hai, Kaoru-dono? Is there something that sessha can do for you?" he asked concerned.
She seemed especially mad today, but then again she was always angry with something it seemed like.
"Go prepare the bath, onegai." Kaoru said with a sigh.
Kenshin dropped the kimono that he was currently scrubbing and wiped his hands on his white hakama to get them dry. He slowly walked off to the bathhouse, brushing back his unruly bangs and making sure that his long red hair was tied securely at the base of his neck. He started on his task of filling the tub and building up at fire underneath it, deep in his own thoughts. It had been about a year since he had come to live with Kaoru here. His thoughts turned to his past before his years as a rurouni.
In the Bakumatsu, when bloodshed was an everyday sight and the wealth of a person was determined by the strength of his sword, the legend of the great hitokiri Battousai was born. Kenshin Himura also known as the Battousai was a terrible and great assassin who fought for the revolution in the only way he knew how, with his sword. He was part of the Ishin Shishi, a group of warriors who fought to restore the emperor to his throne. He slew many leaders who stood in the way of that goal.
Kenshin was eighteen then and married to a young woman named Tomoe. It was only after she died by his own blade in a horrible accident that he swore to never kill again. He traced his fingers along the cross-shaped scar on his cheek. She had been the one that had given it to him, a constant reminder of his horrible past.
After that he became a rurouni and wandered throughout Japan, helping who he could with his sakabotou as a symbol of his pledge. That was of course, before he met Kaoru and decided to stay with her. Now his days were simpler, doing laundry, cooking, but there was always a threat of his past catching up on him.
"Are you done yet, Kenshin?" Kaoru asked walking up behind him and tapping him on the shoulder. He seemed to be in a daze. He turned slowly to look around at her, his soft violet eyes far away.
"Oro?" he said softly, his eyes then focusing on her as though he had just realized that she was there.
Kaoru looked at him intently, determined to find out what was bothering him this time. Kenshin was so good at hiding his feelings from her. It bothered her that he could read her so easily, but she could never tell what was going on behind his fake smiles.
"I was asking if the bath was done yet." Kaoru said lightly.
"Oh, gomen nasai Kaoru-dono. Sessha did not hear you. Hai, your bath is done, de gozaru." He said quickly trying to cover up his daze with a smile. "Would you like sessha to bring you some tea when you are done?"
Kaoru smiled gratefully. "That sounds wonderful, Kenshin. Arigato."
Later as Kaoru sat in the bath watching the steam rise from the heated water, she began to think. How could Kenshin stand to be so nice all the time? He was always doing things for other people. Didn't he get tired of it? His endless selflessness was one of the things that Kaoru admired in Kenshin, but it was also one of the things that drove her crazy. He was always so polite and showed nothing more than a deep concern for her. Never had he showed that maybe he did care for her as more than a friend.
Kenshin had been living with her for over a year now and still she had been unable to see into his real feelings. He always kept himself locked away. It made her sad that she couldn't reach the real Kenshin. She really cared a lot for him and she didn't even know if he felt the same way! She sighed. Somehow she needed to find out.
After preparing the bath for Kaoru, Kenshin wandered into the kitchen to prepare the tea. He knew that Kaoru would soon be out of the bath. She never lingered long on anything. Stirring up the small fire on the stove, he put the water on to boil.
Kaoru climbed out of the bath and put on a bathing robe. Returning silently to her room she decided to get dressed to go visit Tae, her friend and owner of the beef pot restaurant, the Akabeko. Digging through her closet she stumbled upon a very pretty kimono. Kaoru didn't have many pretty kimonos to wear since she was a practical person and thought they were too uncomfortable.
The one she pulled out was made of a pale lavender silk with a border of dark plum butterflies. The obi was also a dark plum color, decorated with a lining of gold. This one used to be her mother's. It was an astonishingly beautiful one. The only reason she kept it was because she couldn't bear to give it up. It was much too beautiful to wear on an informal occasion.
Instead Kaoru settled on a light blue silk with darker blue border of flowers and a deep blue obi. She sighed as she tied it and stepped to look at herself in the mirror. Carefully she let her hair down and began to brush it out, her fingers lingering through its slick wetness. She was startled out of her dream-like state when she heard a soft knock on the door.
"Kaoru-dono? Are you in there? You're tea is ready, de gozaru." Kenshin called softly through the shoji. She could see his shadow through the thin paper door.
"Ok, Kenshin. I'll be out there in a second." She called out as she rose from her seat and walked over to slide the door open.
Kenshin noted her kimono. "Are you going anywhere today?" he asked, gesturing to her outfit.
Kaoru blushed. "Do I need a reason to dress up? But anyway I think I will go over to visit Tae-san today. It's been so long since I last saw her."
Kenshin nodded. They stood there in awkward silence for a while.
Finally Kenshin rubbed the back of his head nervously and said, "Your tea is probably getting cold."
Kaoru bit her lip and nodded. Kenshin lead the way into the kitchen where a cup of tea was waiting for her. Kaoru set down at the knee-high table and picked up her cup. She looked over at Kenshin who seemed to be waiting for her to ask him to join.
"Why don't you get a cup and join me, Kenshin? It would be nice to have some company." 'and it would be nice if you didn't always hide what you felt from me.' She thought as he poured himself a cup and sat down across from her.
"Is there anything you would like sessha to do will you are gone?" he asked, blowing lightly on his tea and taking a sip.
Kaoru thought for a moment. "Iie. I think you've done enough around the house today."
Kenshin watched as she slowly finished her tea and stood up. "I think I'll get going now. I probably be back late this evening, so don't wait up for me." She said as she set down her cup and walked over to the door.
"Are you sure you would not like sessha to accompany you?" he asked, concerned. He always felt nervous when she went off by herself.
"I'll be fine Kenshin. Ja ne!" she said, waving as she left.
Kenshin stared after her for a minute, thinking. He hoped she would be alright.
* *
* Kaoru walked down through the market past all the various carts and vendors. The crowd and the noise were giving her a headache as she rushed to get to the Akabeko. Once she managed to push her way through the crowds, she reached her destination.
Walking inside the homely restaurant, she was greeted by Tsubame, one of the waitress girls who she was close to. She was a young girl, Yahiko's age to be exact, with short brown hair that came down to about her chin. She was dressed in a striped orange kimono, with a frilly white apron as always.
"Hello, Kaoru-san. What are you doing here today?" Tsubame asked shyly, looking up at the older girl.
Kaoru smiled. "I came to see you and Tae. You're not to busy today are you?"
Tsubame shook her head, her blue eyes glistening cheerfully. "Iie, I know Tae-san will be delighted to see you again."
Later that evening, Kenshin was in the kitchen preparing dinner as he usually did. He was the only one up for the job. Even if Kaoru had been here, he would rather not have to experience her food again. Not that he minded that the rice always came out a bit charred and the tofu would crunch in your mouth when you ate it. That didn't bother him. What bothered him was the way Yahiko would always complain and make Kaoru upset over it.
Kaoru hadn't returned yet, but still he made sure that would be some leftover for when she returned. 'She must be having a lot of fun at the Akabeko tonight. I'm glad. She deserves it.' He thought as he chopped up the vegetables and cooked the rice.
Yahiko surveyed the dinner that was laid out on the table. "Wow, Kenshin, this looks great!" he exclaimed as he heap some tofu and some onigiri onto his plate.
"Sessha is glad you like it." Kenshin said picking up his own chopsticks.
A sudden noise from the front door interrupted Kenshin and he turned to see who had stopped by. Sure enough, it was exactly who he thought it was. A tall man about six feet in height with spiky brown hair stuck his head into the room. He was wearing at open white jacket with binds around his torso and his right arm. Like usual, he had a loose fishbone stuck in his teeth on which he was constantly chewing, but the thing people noticed most about him was the symbol for 'bad' written on the back on his jacket in a large black character.
"Hey, Kenshin. Mind if I join you?" he said, walking over and sitting down. Without even waiting for an answer he pulled out his chopsticks and began to shovel food into his mouth.
"Sano, you're such a freeloader. All you do is gamble and drink. Why don't you get a job and learn how to earn your own food!" Yahiko exclaimed in irritation.
"Who needs jobs, Yahiko-chan when I can just come over here and eat Kenshin's cooking?" he said in between mouthfuls.
"Hey don't you dare call me Yahiko-chan. I'm not little!" he yelled back. Sano just ignored him.
Kenshin watched his tall friend as he gobbled down the food he had just spent an hour making. He had known Sano for a while now and they had become somewhat close. The age difference in them did not seem to be apparent by how they acted around each other. While Sano was only nineteen, Kenshin was almost ten years older at twenty-eight.
Only after he had inhaled all the food did Sano realize that someone was missing. "Hey, where's Jo-chan?"
"Kaoru-dono is off visiting Tae-dono at the Akabeko today." Kenshin replied shortly.
"Oh..." he said, taking a big swish of some sake he had brought over. He offered some to Kenshin who had politely declined. He wasn't a big drinker like Sano.
* *
*
Later that evening, just as the sun began to set, Kenshin waited out in the yard for Kaoru to return.
"Hey, Kenshin. Don't worry about Kaoru. She'll be back soon." Yahiko called as he walked off to go to bed. He was tired from his day of 'hard' work and he was ready for some relaxation.
"Sessha will wait for Kaoru-dono just a little longer." He called out to the boy.
His smile turned into a frown as soon as Yahiko had walked from his view. In truth he was worried for Kaoru. There were a lot of dangerous people out after sundown and he didn't want anything to happen to her. Enough of people had already hurt her already, all because of him, and he didn't want that to happen again.
Kaoru walked back through the dark streets. She had left the Akabeko just as the sun was setting in hopes that she would arrive home before it did, but she didn't quite make it. The sun waits for no one and the cold was already settling around her shoulders like a thin shawl by the time that she had gotten halfway through the market.
Her footsteps echoed hollowly in the still silence that surrounded her. She hoped that Kenshin wouldn't worry about her. She would be home soon. She was slightly unnerved from the chill in the air.
Then in the distance she heard a slight scuffle from behind her. She tried to ignore it, speeding up and insisting that it was just her imagination. Her heart was racing as she heard it again louder this time as though it was growing closer. She glanced back behind her, but she could not see anything. It was way too dark and the alleyways were shadowed keeping her from seeing anything.
Panicky she continued on her journey, speeding up to a run so that her sandals clattered noisily. As she approached the dojo she slowed a bit and sighed in relief. She had just been imagining things. That was then she felt hands grab her behind and something was placed over her mouth. She knew no more after that for the darkness covered her vision and she fell unconscious.
* *
*
It was a couple hours after sundown and Kaoru had still not returned. Kenshin was positively anxious with worry. He grabbed his sakabotou and left a little note to Yahiko saying that he had gone to look for her in case Yahiko would wake up and wonder where he was.
He hurried down the dark streets on the route to the Akabeko. He could see no one in sight, but the silent shadows that lurked in the corners of his vision. When he reached the restaurant there was only one light on in it. He knocked on the locked door. Maybe Kaoru had decided to stay after closing? He hoped with all his heart that was the case. He couldn't stand if anything were to happen to her.
Tae came to the door a few minutes later to see Kenshin's fretful face.
"Ken-san! What are you doing here at the time of night? What's wrong?" she said opening the door and letting him inside.
"Have you seen Kaoru-dono?" he asked urgently.
Tae shook her head in confusion. "She should be back by now. She left her about two hours ago!"
Kenshin's eyes grew wide as he realized that his fears had been true. Something had happened to Kaoru. "No....not again....onegai Kami-sama, don't let it be someone from my past." He whispered to himself as he stepped out the door once more and ran down the streets once again.
"Ken-san! Wait!" Tae called after him, but he had already gone.
'Where is she? What could have happened to her?' he thought frantically as he raced back to the dojo, checking to see one last time if she had returned. Could it have been possible that he had just missed her on the way or that she had returned without him noticing?
As he reached the dojo gate, his heart pounding and his breath coming in gasps, he saw a small piece of paper sticking on the door. With a trembling hand he reached out and took it, scared of what it could say.
Hitokiri battousai, we have the girl with us. If you do not wish to see her harmed come to the shrine at midnight, WITHOUT your sakabotou.
* *
*
Kaoru woke in the damp darkness unaware of where she was. She slowly she opened her eyes only to see nothing but black. The room that she was in was completely dark. There were ropes binding her hands and feet together. She could feel the coarse fibers rub painfully against her skin. She whimpered quietly, struggling to free her hands unsuccessfully.
She froze as she heard voices from outside her closed room. "Do you think he'll actually come without his sword?" asked an obvious male voice.
"I'm sure of it. He wouldn't risk the girl's life for anything. I've been watching him for a while and I know him," answered a cold voice that seemed somewhat familiar.
They both began to laugh and shivers ran down her spine. Kenshin come without his sakabotou?!
* *
*
"You're actually going to go there without it?!" Yahiko exclaimed. Kenshin had woken him to explain where he was going.
Kenshin nodded, his longs bangs covering his eyes. "I can't take the risk that......she will be killed." He said choking out the last part.
Yahiko eyes widened. "You know it's all just a trap! They are just trying to get you defenseless!"
"I know that Yahiko. That's why I need you." Kenshin said seriously.
"Anything! What do you want me to do?!" Yahiko said instantly.
Kenshin smiled faintly at this boy's loyalty. He would grow up to be a great man. "When I'm dealing with the kidnappers I need you to go find Kaoru-dono and take her back to the dojo."
"But what about you? You'll be killed!" Yahiko exclaimed.
Kenshin's face darkened. "That doesn't matter right now. We have to go!"
* *
*
"Get the girl out! It's getting close to midnight." She heard a voice say just before the door opened and the light poured in blinding her for a second. Rough hands grabbed her again and dragged her out into a large room.
They seemed to be in the shrine. There were about four guys in all in the room. The ringleader seemed to be a tall man with brown hair and a blue suit. She gasped. She recognized this man. It was Kanryu! He was an opium dealer that Kenshin had defeated when rescuing their friend, Megumi. He had used a big gattling gun trying to kill him, but Kenshin had managed to destroy the gun and rescue Megumi. What was he doing here? Shouldn't he still be in jail?
Kanryu turned to look at Kaoru a wide grin on his face. "Greetings, Kaoru. How are doing today?!" he said with a laugh.
"You creep! Let me go, this instant!" she screamed struggling to get free.
"Now, now, there's no need to get so upset. I have no interest in hurting you. It's Himura the battousai I'm after. Once I have him I'll let you go. I have no use for a girl like you." Kanryu said pulling on his clean white gloves and chuckling.
"Leave Kenshin alone! Why do you want him anyway?" she asked as she was brought over and set down in the middle of the big empty room.
"Well, let's just call it revenge. All that time in prison got me thinking and I've decided that other than starting up my business again, I could never rest easy until I saw that Himura was killed. I decided to get some more reliable help this time," he said as he gestured to the three guys who were standing in the corner.
Kaoru looked all of them over carefully. They all carried katanas and all looked to be very skilled. Kaoru bit her lip in frustration knowing that she couldn't do anything. Kenshin would come here without his sword because that was the type of person he was. If he was to be attacked by those three men they would defiantly kill him. No matter how fast Kenshin was, three skilled swords could easily kill one defenseless man.
* *
*
Kenshin approached the shrine just as midnight struck. The moonlight glistened in his eyes viciously and he had a strained expression on his face. His fists were trembling slightly from anger as he entered the building. Yahiko trailed after him silent, knowing that they were approaching danger that they might not get out of alive.
The door slid open to reveal a tall man with a sword strapped to his back. Kenshin clenched his teeth in anger.
"Where's Miss Kaoru! Tell me now!" He said venomously stepping forward.
The man grinned when he noticed that Kenshin had not brought his sword. "I see you got our letter. Come inside. The girl is waiting for you there."
He noticed Yahiko standing behind Kenshin. "You, boy! What are you doing here?!"
"He's nothing, but a little boy, a weakling. Just let him come. The lord will be angry if we keep him waiting any longer." Another man said coming up from behind him. This man also had a sword at his side and a wild grin on his face.
Yahiko shook in fury at being counted as being worthless. He refrained from saying that he could beat them up if only he had his bokken. As long as he got in he could stand it.
When they reached the main room, Kenshin's eyes widened as he saw just who it was standing in the middle of the big empty room. It was Kanryu!
"You." he said, his eyes flickering amber symbolizing that he was close to his breaking point. When he past that breaking point, when he became the manslayer that he was ten years ago, nothing would stop him from killing once again.
"Welcome Himura. I see you came without your sword, just as I asked you." Kanryu said, laughing cruelly. He motioned for one of the men to bring Kaoru over to him.
Kenshin's hand twitched as he almost reached for his sword only to find that it wasn't there. He watched helplessly as Kaoru was thrown over to Kanryu and he brought a small pistol up to her head.
"If you come any closer to me the girl dies. I know how close to her you have grown. My spies have been watching you for a long time." He said. Everything was going exactly with his plan.
Kaoru squirmed trying to get free of her binds. She could see Kenshin's eyes growing more and more amber and cruel. He was changing inside, he was becoming more like his old battousai self.
"Kenshin! Just get out of here! They're going to kill you!" she screamed out, trying furiously to wrench herself out of Kanryu's grip.
Kanryu sighed annoyed and brought the gun up to smack her with the butt of it on her head. She collapsed against him unconscious.
"Some women are just so annoying, aren't they?" Kanryu said still pointing the gun to her head.
Kenshin snapped. His eyes rolled back into his head and he screamed and charged at blind rage at the Kanryu.
"Enjiro! Kanji!" Kanryu said calmly.
The two men who had greeted Kenshin at the door stepped in front of him with their swords drawn.
Kenshin stopped and glared at them with his cruel amber eyes. "Back down now and I will spare you lives." He spat callously.
The two men just grinned at him. "I think it will be you who dies, Himura. Can't you see that they have swords and you do not?" Kanryu announced cold- heartedly.
The two men both swung their swords down at him with all the force they could muster. Kenshin was too fast for them and he stepped aside with a grin. "You are no match for me." He said as he came up behind them a delivered a vicious kick to one of them. The man was sent spiraling across the floor and landed in a heap.
Kenshin reached down and picked up the man's fallen katana. "Now, you will die!" he screamed as he ran. "Hiten Mitsurugi, Ryu Tsui Sen!" he screamed as he jumped into the air to complete his attack.
Kaoru's eyes opened just as she heard him say that. She could see Kenshin launch himself into the air and fly towards the man, a real katana in his hand. It was almost like watching it in slow motion, the look of malevolence on his face was almost too much to bear. She couldn't let him go back to being a manslayer. He couldn't kill again.
"KENSHIN! STOP!" she screamed at the top of her voice, a single tear slipping down her cheek.
Kenshin's eyes flickered as he recognized her voice. He pulled away from the attack just in time to miss from delivering a fatal blow. As a result Kenshin was slammed aside with the force of his attack and sent to slam against the wall.
Kanryu whimpered as he backed away. This wasn't supposed to happen. Kenshin wasn't supposed to get a real sword. The last time he had met up with Kenshin, he had only his sakabotou, but now he had a katana. Kanryu slowly backed away from Kaoru.
"Come on guys, let's get out of here. This is too dangerous!" Kanryu said as he scrambled out the door, his men on his heals.
Yahiko ran over to Kaoru and untied her quickly. "Kaoru, you alright?" he asked worriedly.
Kaoru didn't answer. "Kenshin..." she whispered as she stood up and ran over to him where he was sitting now. She bent down next to him, glad to see that his eyes had returned back to normal. "Kenshin....are you ok?" she asked worriedly, brushing the loose hairs from his face.
Kenshin sighed and pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm glad you're alright Kaoru. Sessha was worried for a time...." He said stroking her hair as he held her.
Kaoru closed her eyes to hold back the tears. "I'm glad you came. I knew you would, but you shouldn't have. You almost killed someone tonight because of me. I don't want you ever to go back to your old ways. I want you to stay like the rurouni I've always known." She said, trying to hold back the sobs.
Kenshin's eyes darkened and a sad expression covered his face. "It's just like Jin-e Udo said to me so long ago, 'A hitokiri is a hitokiri until death. He can be nothing else. Keep playing at being a 'rurouni'. It's just a lie to hide the truth.' He was right Kaoru-dono. I can be nothing else. I can't pretend like it all didn't happen. I can't pretend that I didn't kill all those people in the past. During the war we couldn't tell who was right and who was wrong. We fought for our beliefs and that was it. I had no clue what kind of pain I was forcing people to endure, no clue what suffering that it would cause to those families left behind." He said his voice trembling.
"Don't talk like that Kenshin! It's not like that at all!" Kaoru insisted, silent tears streaming down her face and splashing onto Kenshin's gi. "You're not a hitokiri anymore. That was ten years ago. I don't care about that. You're a different person now. You're Kenshin Himura. Hitokiri battousai is long dead. You don't have to be a slave to fate anymore. You can make choices in life. You can choose never to kill again. Please Kenshin, promise me you won't ever think like that again." She said desperately gripping onto him tightly.
"I promise, Kaoru-dono." He said quietly brushing the tears from her face with a shaking hand. 'I promise to you Kaoru-dono, I will protect you and never kill again. Never again will you have to cry because of me...... And as long as I have you, I know this life is worth living. '
Arigato: Thank you
Bakumatsu: final chaotic days of the Tokugawa regime.
Bokken: bamboo sword, often used for training.
Busu: old hag
-chan: Used when attached to the end of a name. It is used when that person is very close to you, or if that person is young.
De gozaru: term that Kenshin uses at the end of some of his sentences. It literary means 'is so'. Samurai use it when they talk.
Dojo: a school for a specific talent. For example a karate dojo or a kendo dojo.
-dono: Used attached to the end of a name. It is an honorific and highly respectively way to address someone.
Gi: Samurai shirt
Gomen nasai- I'm sorry
Hai: yes
Hakama: Samurai pants
Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu: An ancient sword style dating back to the Sengoku period. It is a very dangerous style that focuses on speed and skill. Kenshin uses it.
Hitokiri - assassin
Iie: no
Ishin Shishi: A group of pro-imperialists during the Meiji Restoration. They were fighting to restore the emperor to the throne.
Ja ne: sort of like 'see you later'
Jo-chan: Sano's nickname for Kaoru. It means 'little missy'.
Kami-sama: god
Kamiya Kasshin-ryu: The swords style Kaoru and Yahiko use. It focuses more on using the sword to protect rather than kill.
Katana: The samurai's foremost sword. It's very long, curved, and it's the most perfected sword in the world.
Kendo: sword fighting
Kimono: Traditional dress (there are different types for men and women)
Obi: The tie around a kimono
Onegai: please
Onigiri: Riceballs
Oro: Kenshin's own word. He uses it when he is surprised. It's sort of like 'huh'.
Rurouni: wanderer (the official word is roni, but they changed it for the show)
Ryu Tsui Sen: One of the Hiten Mitsurugi attacks. Dragon Hammer Flash. The user jumps into the air, and comes down with a slash.
Sakabotou: a reverse blade sword
Sake: rice wine
-san: term of respect used at the end of a person's name. Sort of like Mrs., Miss, or Mr.
Sessha: Kenshin's word substitute for 'I'. It literally translates to 'this unworthy one'.
Sensei: teacher
Shoji: paper door
Dorei no Unmei
(Slave of Fate)
Kenshin glanced over at Kaoru as he scrubbed at the laundry, the sleeves of his magenta gi tied back to keep them from getting wet. It was just like him to be doing the laundry, or cooking the food. The reason was that he simply the only one who could do it. Kaoru was a wonderful person. Kenshin knew that for a fact, but there were some things that the eighteen year old woman could not do.
Kaoru could not be described as anything, but a tomboy. Her mother died when she was young and her father, the master of a kendo dojo had raised her. Instead of learning the ways of women, like cooking and cleaning and flower arranging, Kaoru learned the ways of the sword.
Even though Kaoru dressed like a man when she was around the house, Kenshin could not help but notice how beautiful she really was. He glanced over where she was currently training Yahiko, her apprentice. Her long black hair was tied back in its usual practical high ponytail that whipped through the air as she swung her bokken at a fast pace. Her stern, but kind sapphire eyes glinted in the afternoon light as she began to scold her apprentice.
"Yahiko, you're doing it all wrong! You have to swing your bokken higher!" she said harshly as she demonstrated by swinging her bokken in the air and landing a hit on his right shoulder.
Yahiko winced as it connected with his flesh. "Busu! I know what I'm doing! I've seen Kenshin do it a million times and he's a much better swordsman than you! Man, I wish I was learning that Hiten Mitsurugi style of Kenshin's instead of your lame Kamiya Kasshin!" he wined as he rubbed his shoulder.
Kaoru's brow furrowed and she smacked him hard on the head. "You little brat! I'm your sensei, not Kenshin so get used to it! You're never going to get anywhere at this rate! We're done for today. Two hundred strokes and then I'll have you scrub the floors!"
Yahiko grumbled and rubbed his spiky black hair. He hated being called little even though he was still only ten years old. He didn't feel like ten. He had had a hard life before he met up with Kaoru and became her apprentice. His father had been a samurai, but after the Meiji Restoration there was no need for samurai anymore, so his family had become very poor. His father had died not long after the revolution ended, and his mother was barely able to put food on the table. Not that long ago she had fallen ill and died, leaving him alone to pay for the hospital bills. Unable to find a way out he had been forced to be a pickpocket for the Yakuza syndicate. Kaoru had been the one who had helped him get out of that horrible life. He was grateful to her, but that still didn't mean that he liked her training sessions.
"Kenshin?" Kaoru yelled annoyed with everything.
Kenshin looked up from his work. "Hai, Kaoru-dono? Is there something that sessha can do for you?" he asked concerned.
She seemed especially mad today, but then again she was always angry with something it seemed like.
"Go prepare the bath, onegai." Kaoru said with a sigh.
Kenshin dropped the kimono that he was currently scrubbing and wiped his hands on his white hakama to get them dry. He slowly walked off to the bathhouse, brushing back his unruly bangs and making sure that his long red hair was tied securely at the base of his neck. He started on his task of filling the tub and building up at fire underneath it, deep in his own thoughts. It had been about a year since he had come to live with Kaoru here. His thoughts turned to his past before his years as a rurouni.
In the Bakumatsu, when bloodshed was an everyday sight and the wealth of a person was determined by the strength of his sword, the legend of the great hitokiri Battousai was born. Kenshin Himura also known as the Battousai was a terrible and great assassin who fought for the revolution in the only way he knew how, with his sword. He was part of the Ishin Shishi, a group of warriors who fought to restore the emperor to his throne. He slew many leaders who stood in the way of that goal.
Kenshin was eighteen then and married to a young woman named Tomoe. It was only after she died by his own blade in a horrible accident that he swore to never kill again. He traced his fingers along the cross-shaped scar on his cheek. She had been the one that had given it to him, a constant reminder of his horrible past.
After that he became a rurouni and wandered throughout Japan, helping who he could with his sakabotou as a symbol of his pledge. That was of course, before he met Kaoru and decided to stay with her. Now his days were simpler, doing laundry, cooking, but there was always a threat of his past catching up on him.
"Are you done yet, Kenshin?" Kaoru asked walking up behind him and tapping him on the shoulder. He seemed to be in a daze. He turned slowly to look around at her, his soft violet eyes far away.
"Oro?" he said softly, his eyes then focusing on her as though he had just realized that she was there.
Kaoru looked at him intently, determined to find out what was bothering him this time. Kenshin was so good at hiding his feelings from her. It bothered her that he could read her so easily, but she could never tell what was going on behind his fake smiles.
"I was asking if the bath was done yet." Kaoru said lightly.
"Oh, gomen nasai Kaoru-dono. Sessha did not hear you. Hai, your bath is done, de gozaru." He said quickly trying to cover up his daze with a smile. "Would you like sessha to bring you some tea when you are done?"
Kaoru smiled gratefully. "That sounds wonderful, Kenshin. Arigato."
Later as Kaoru sat in the bath watching the steam rise from the heated water, she began to think. How could Kenshin stand to be so nice all the time? He was always doing things for other people. Didn't he get tired of it? His endless selflessness was one of the things that Kaoru admired in Kenshin, but it was also one of the things that drove her crazy. He was always so polite and showed nothing more than a deep concern for her. Never had he showed that maybe he did care for her as more than a friend.
Kenshin had been living with her for over a year now and still she had been unable to see into his real feelings. He always kept himself locked away. It made her sad that she couldn't reach the real Kenshin. She really cared a lot for him and she didn't even know if he felt the same way! She sighed. Somehow she needed to find out.
After preparing the bath for Kaoru, Kenshin wandered into the kitchen to prepare the tea. He knew that Kaoru would soon be out of the bath. She never lingered long on anything. Stirring up the small fire on the stove, he put the water on to boil.
Kaoru climbed out of the bath and put on a bathing robe. Returning silently to her room she decided to get dressed to go visit Tae, her friend and owner of the beef pot restaurant, the Akabeko. Digging through her closet she stumbled upon a very pretty kimono. Kaoru didn't have many pretty kimonos to wear since she was a practical person and thought they were too uncomfortable.
The one she pulled out was made of a pale lavender silk with a border of dark plum butterflies. The obi was also a dark plum color, decorated with a lining of gold. This one used to be her mother's. It was an astonishingly beautiful one. The only reason she kept it was because she couldn't bear to give it up. It was much too beautiful to wear on an informal occasion.
Instead Kaoru settled on a light blue silk with darker blue border of flowers and a deep blue obi. She sighed as she tied it and stepped to look at herself in the mirror. Carefully she let her hair down and began to brush it out, her fingers lingering through its slick wetness. She was startled out of her dream-like state when she heard a soft knock on the door.
"Kaoru-dono? Are you in there? You're tea is ready, de gozaru." Kenshin called softly through the shoji. She could see his shadow through the thin paper door.
"Ok, Kenshin. I'll be out there in a second." She called out as she rose from her seat and walked over to slide the door open.
Kenshin noted her kimono. "Are you going anywhere today?" he asked, gesturing to her outfit.
Kaoru blushed. "Do I need a reason to dress up? But anyway I think I will go over to visit Tae-san today. It's been so long since I last saw her."
Kenshin nodded. They stood there in awkward silence for a while.
Finally Kenshin rubbed the back of his head nervously and said, "Your tea is probably getting cold."
Kaoru bit her lip and nodded. Kenshin lead the way into the kitchen where a cup of tea was waiting for her. Kaoru set down at the knee-high table and picked up her cup. She looked over at Kenshin who seemed to be waiting for her to ask him to join.
"Why don't you get a cup and join me, Kenshin? It would be nice to have some company." 'and it would be nice if you didn't always hide what you felt from me.' She thought as he poured himself a cup and sat down across from her.
"Is there anything you would like sessha to do will you are gone?" he asked, blowing lightly on his tea and taking a sip.
Kaoru thought for a moment. "Iie. I think you've done enough around the house today."
Kenshin watched as she slowly finished her tea and stood up. "I think I'll get going now. I probably be back late this evening, so don't wait up for me." She said as she set down her cup and walked over to the door.
"Are you sure you would not like sessha to accompany you?" he asked, concerned. He always felt nervous when she went off by herself.
"I'll be fine Kenshin. Ja ne!" she said, waving as she left.
Kenshin stared after her for a minute, thinking. He hoped she would be alright.
* *
* Kaoru walked down through the market past all the various carts and vendors. The crowd and the noise were giving her a headache as she rushed to get to the Akabeko. Once she managed to push her way through the crowds, she reached her destination.
Walking inside the homely restaurant, she was greeted by Tsubame, one of the waitress girls who she was close to. She was a young girl, Yahiko's age to be exact, with short brown hair that came down to about her chin. She was dressed in a striped orange kimono, with a frilly white apron as always.
"Hello, Kaoru-san. What are you doing here today?" Tsubame asked shyly, looking up at the older girl.
Kaoru smiled. "I came to see you and Tae. You're not to busy today are you?"
Tsubame shook her head, her blue eyes glistening cheerfully. "Iie, I know Tae-san will be delighted to see you again."
Later that evening, Kenshin was in the kitchen preparing dinner as he usually did. He was the only one up for the job. Even if Kaoru had been here, he would rather not have to experience her food again. Not that he minded that the rice always came out a bit charred and the tofu would crunch in your mouth when you ate it. That didn't bother him. What bothered him was the way Yahiko would always complain and make Kaoru upset over it.
Kaoru hadn't returned yet, but still he made sure that would be some leftover for when she returned. 'She must be having a lot of fun at the Akabeko tonight. I'm glad. She deserves it.' He thought as he chopped up the vegetables and cooked the rice.
Yahiko surveyed the dinner that was laid out on the table. "Wow, Kenshin, this looks great!" he exclaimed as he heap some tofu and some onigiri onto his plate.
"Sessha is glad you like it." Kenshin said picking up his own chopsticks.
A sudden noise from the front door interrupted Kenshin and he turned to see who had stopped by. Sure enough, it was exactly who he thought it was. A tall man about six feet in height with spiky brown hair stuck his head into the room. He was wearing at open white jacket with binds around his torso and his right arm. Like usual, he had a loose fishbone stuck in his teeth on which he was constantly chewing, but the thing people noticed most about him was the symbol for 'bad' written on the back on his jacket in a large black character.
"Hey, Kenshin. Mind if I join you?" he said, walking over and sitting down. Without even waiting for an answer he pulled out his chopsticks and began to shovel food into his mouth.
"Sano, you're such a freeloader. All you do is gamble and drink. Why don't you get a job and learn how to earn your own food!" Yahiko exclaimed in irritation.
"Who needs jobs, Yahiko-chan when I can just come over here and eat Kenshin's cooking?" he said in between mouthfuls.
"Hey don't you dare call me Yahiko-chan. I'm not little!" he yelled back. Sano just ignored him.
Kenshin watched his tall friend as he gobbled down the food he had just spent an hour making. He had known Sano for a while now and they had become somewhat close. The age difference in them did not seem to be apparent by how they acted around each other. While Sano was only nineteen, Kenshin was almost ten years older at twenty-eight.
Only after he had inhaled all the food did Sano realize that someone was missing. "Hey, where's Jo-chan?"
"Kaoru-dono is off visiting Tae-dono at the Akabeko today." Kenshin replied shortly.
"Oh..." he said, taking a big swish of some sake he had brought over. He offered some to Kenshin who had politely declined. He wasn't a big drinker like Sano.
* *
*
Later that evening, just as the sun began to set, Kenshin waited out in the yard for Kaoru to return.
"Hey, Kenshin. Don't worry about Kaoru. She'll be back soon." Yahiko called as he walked off to go to bed. He was tired from his day of 'hard' work and he was ready for some relaxation.
"Sessha will wait for Kaoru-dono just a little longer." He called out to the boy.
His smile turned into a frown as soon as Yahiko had walked from his view. In truth he was worried for Kaoru. There were a lot of dangerous people out after sundown and he didn't want anything to happen to her. Enough of people had already hurt her already, all because of him, and he didn't want that to happen again.
Kaoru walked back through the dark streets. She had left the Akabeko just as the sun was setting in hopes that she would arrive home before it did, but she didn't quite make it. The sun waits for no one and the cold was already settling around her shoulders like a thin shawl by the time that she had gotten halfway through the market.
Her footsteps echoed hollowly in the still silence that surrounded her. She hoped that Kenshin wouldn't worry about her. She would be home soon. She was slightly unnerved from the chill in the air.
Then in the distance she heard a slight scuffle from behind her. She tried to ignore it, speeding up and insisting that it was just her imagination. Her heart was racing as she heard it again louder this time as though it was growing closer. She glanced back behind her, but she could not see anything. It was way too dark and the alleyways were shadowed keeping her from seeing anything.
Panicky she continued on her journey, speeding up to a run so that her sandals clattered noisily. As she approached the dojo she slowed a bit and sighed in relief. She had just been imagining things. That was then she felt hands grab her behind and something was placed over her mouth. She knew no more after that for the darkness covered her vision and she fell unconscious.
* *
*
It was a couple hours after sundown and Kaoru had still not returned. Kenshin was positively anxious with worry. He grabbed his sakabotou and left a little note to Yahiko saying that he had gone to look for her in case Yahiko would wake up and wonder where he was.
He hurried down the dark streets on the route to the Akabeko. He could see no one in sight, but the silent shadows that lurked in the corners of his vision. When he reached the restaurant there was only one light on in it. He knocked on the locked door. Maybe Kaoru had decided to stay after closing? He hoped with all his heart that was the case. He couldn't stand if anything were to happen to her.
Tae came to the door a few minutes later to see Kenshin's fretful face.
"Ken-san! What are you doing here at the time of night? What's wrong?" she said opening the door and letting him inside.
"Have you seen Kaoru-dono?" he asked urgently.
Tae shook her head in confusion. "She should be back by now. She left her about two hours ago!"
Kenshin's eyes grew wide as he realized that his fears had been true. Something had happened to Kaoru. "No....not again....onegai Kami-sama, don't let it be someone from my past." He whispered to himself as he stepped out the door once more and ran down the streets once again.
"Ken-san! Wait!" Tae called after him, but he had already gone.
'Where is she? What could have happened to her?' he thought frantically as he raced back to the dojo, checking to see one last time if she had returned. Could it have been possible that he had just missed her on the way or that she had returned without him noticing?
As he reached the dojo gate, his heart pounding and his breath coming in gasps, he saw a small piece of paper sticking on the door. With a trembling hand he reached out and took it, scared of what it could say.
Hitokiri battousai, we have the girl with us. If you do not wish to see her harmed come to the shrine at midnight, WITHOUT your sakabotou.
* *
*
Kaoru woke in the damp darkness unaware of where she was. She slowly she opened her eyes only to see nothing but black. The room that she was in was completely dark. There were ropes binding her hands and feet together. She could feel the coarse fibers rub painfully against her skin. She whimpered quietly, struggling to free her hands unsuccessfully.
She froze as she heard voices from outside her closed room. "Do you think he'll actually come without his sword?" asked an obvious male voice.
"I'm sure of it. He wouldn't risk the girl's life for anything. I've been watching him for a while and I know him," answered a cold voice that seemed somewhat familiar.
They both began to laugh and shivers ran down her spine. Kenshin come without his sakabotou?!
* *
*
"You're actually going to go there without it?!" Yahiko exclaimed. Kenshin had woken him to explain where he was going.
Kenshin nodded, his longs bangs covering his eyes. "I can't take the risk that......she will be killed." He said choking out the last part.
Yahiko eyes widened. "You know it's all just a trap! They are just trying to get you defenseless!"
"I know that Yahiko. That's why I need you." Kenshin said seriously.
"Anything! What do you want me to do?!" Yahiko said instantly.
Kenshin smiled faintly at this boy's loyalty. He would grow up to be a great man. "When I'm dealing with the kidnappers I need you to go find Kaoru-dono and take her back to the dojo."
"But what about you? You'll be killed!" Yahiko exclaimed.
Kenshin's face darkened. "That doesn't matter right now. We have to go!"
* *
*
"Get the girl out! It's getting close to midnight." She heard a voice say just before the door opened and the light poured in blinding her for a second. Rough hands grabbed her again and dragged her out into a large room.
They seemed to be in the shrine. There were about four guys in all in the room. The ringleader seemed to be a tall man with brown hair and a blue suit. She gasped. She recognized this man. It was Kanryu! He was an opium dealer that Kenshin had defeated when rescuing their friend, Megumi. He had used a big gattling gun trying to kill him, but Kenshin had managed to destroy the gun and rescue Megumi. What was he doing here? Shouldn't he still be in jail?
Kanryu turned to look at Kaoru a wide grin on his face. "Greetings, Kaoru. How are doing today?!" he said with a laugh.
"You creep! Let me go, this instant!" she screamed struggling to get free.
"Now, now, there's no need to get so upset. I have no interest in hurting you. It's Himura the battousai I'm after. Once I have him I'll let you go. I have no use for a girl like you." Kanryu said pulling on his clean white gloves and chuckling.
"Leave Kenshin alone! Why do you want him anyway?" she asked as she was brought over and set down in the middle of the big empty room.
"Well, let's just call it revenge. All that time in prison got me thinking and I've decided that other than starting up my business again, I could never rest easy until I saw that Himura was killed. I decided to get some more reliable help this time," he said as he gestured to the three guys who were standing in the corner.
Kaoru looked all of them over carefully. They all carried katanas and all looked to be very skilled. Kaoru bit her lip in frustration knowing that she couldn't do anything. Kenshin would come here without his sword because that was the type of person he was. If he was to be attacked by those three men they would defiantly kill him. No matter how fast Kenshin was, three skilled swords could easily kill one defenseless man.
* *
*
Kenshin approached the shrine just as midnight struck. The moonlight glistened in his eyes viciously and he had a strained expression on his face. His fists were trembling slightly from anger as he entered the building. Yahiko trailed after him silent, knowing that they were approaching danger that they might not get out of alive.
The door slid open to reveal a tall man with a sword strapped to his back. Kenshin clenched his teeth in anger.
"Where's Miss Kaoru! Tell me now!" He said venomously stepping forward.
The man grinned when he noticed that Kenshin had not brought his sword. "I see you got our letter. Come inside. The girl is waiting for you there."
He noticed Yahiko standing behind Kenshin. "You, boy! What are you doing here?!"
"He's nothing, but a little boy, a weakling. Just let him come. The lord will be angry if we keep him waiting any longer." Another man said coming up from behind him. This man also had a sword at his side and a wild grin on his face.
Yahiko shook in fury at being counted as being worthless. He refrained from saying that he could beat them up if only he had his bokken. As long as he got in he could stand it.
When they reached the main room, Kenshin's eyes widened as he saw just who it was standing in the middle of the big empty room. It was Kanryu!
"You." he said, his eyes flickering amber symbolizing that he was close to his breaking point. When he past that breaking point, when he became the manslayer that he was ten years ago, nothing would stop him from killing once again.
"Welcome Himura. I see you came without your sword, just as I asked you." Kanryu said, laughing cruelly. He motioned for one of the men to bring Kaoru over to him.
Kenshin's hand twitched as he almost reached for his sword only to find that it wasn't there. He watched helplessly as Kaoru was thrown over to Kanryu and he brought a small pistol up to her head.
"If you come any closer to me the girl dies. I know how close to her you have grown. My spies have been watching you for a long time." He said. Everything was going exactly with his plan.
Kaoru squirmed trying to get free of her binds. She could see Kenshin's eyes growing more and more amber and cruel. He was changing inside, he was becoming more like his old battousai self.
"Kenshin! Just get out of here! They're going to kill you!" she screamed out, trying furiously to wrench herself out of Kanryu's grip.
Kanryu sighed annoyed and brought the gun up to smack her with the butt of it on her head. She collapsed against him unconscious.
"Some women are just so annoying, aren't they?" Kanryu said still pointing the gun to her head.
Kenshin snapped. His eyes rolled back into his head and he screamed and charged at blind rage at the Kanryu.
"Enjiro! Kanji!" Kanryu said calmly.
The two men who had greeted Kenshin at the door stepped in front of him with their swords drawn.
Kenshin stopped and glared at them with his cruel amber eyes. "Back down now and I will spare you lives." He spat callously.
The two men just grinned at him. "I think it will be you who dies, Himura. Can't you see that they have swords and you do not?" Kanryu announced cold- heartedly.
The two men both swung their swords down at him with all the force they could muster. Kenshin was too fast for them and he stepped aside with a grin. "You are no match for me." He said as he came up behind them a delivered a vicious kick to one of them. The man was sent spiraling across the floor and landed in a heap.
Kenshin reached down and picked up the man's fallen katana. "Now, you will die!" he screamed as he ran. "Hiten Mitsurugi, Ryu Tsui Sen!" he screamed as he jumped into the air to complete his attack.
Kaoru's eyes opened just as she heard him say that. She could see Kenshin launch himself into the air and fly towards the man, a real katana in his hand. It was almost like watching it in slow motion, the look of malevolence on his face was almost too much to bear. She couldn't let him go back to being a manslayer. He couldn't kill again.
"KENSHIN! STOP!" she screamed at the top of her voice, a single tear slipping down her cheek.
Kenshin's eyes flickered as he recognized her voice. He pulled away from the attack just in time to miss from delivering a fatal blow. As a result Kenshin was slammed aside with the force of his attack and sent to slam against the wall.
Kanryu whimpered as he backed away. This wasn't supposed to happen. Kenshin wasn't supposed to get a real sword. The last time he had met up with Kenshin, he had only his sakabotou, but now he had a katana. Kanryu slowly backed away from Kaoru.
"Come on guys, let's get out of here. This is too dangerous!" Kanryu said as he scrambled out the door, his men on his heals.
Yahiko ran over to Kaoru and untied her quickly. "Kaoru, you alright?" he asked worriedly.
Kaoru didn't answer. "Kenshin..." she whispered as she stood up and ran over to him where he was sitting now. She bent down next to him, glad to see that his eyes had returned back to normal. "Kenshin....are you ok?" she asked worriedly, brushing the loose hairs from his face.
Kenshin sighed and pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm glad you're alright Kaoru. Sessha was worried for a time...." He said stroking her hair as he held her.
Kaoru closed her eyes to hold back the tears. "I'm glad you came. I knew you would, but you shouldn't have. You almost killed someone tonight because of me. I don't want you ever to go back to your old ways. I want you to stay like the rurouni I've always known." She said, trying to hold back the sobs.
Kenshin's eyes darkened and a sad expression covered his face. "It's just like Jin-e Udo said to me so long ago, 'A hitokiri is a hitokiri until death. He can be nothing else. Keep playing at being a 'rurouni'. It's just a lie to hide the truth.' He was right Kaoru-dono. I can be nothing else. I can't pretend like it all didn't happen. I can't pretend that I didn't kill all those people in the past. During the war we couldn't tell who was right and who was wrong. We fought for our beliefs and that was it. I had no clue what kind of pain I was forcing people to endure, no clue what suffering that it would cause to those families left behind." He said his voice trembling.
"Don't talk like that Kenshin! It's not like that at all!" Kaoru insisted, silent tears streaming down her face and splashing onto Kenshin's gi. "You're not a hitokiri anymore. That was ten years ago. I don't care about that. You're a different person now. You're Kenshin Himura. Hitokiri battousai is long dead. You don't have to be a slave to fate anymore. You can make choices in life. You can choose never to kill again. Please Kenshin, promise me you won't ever think like that again." She said desperately gripping onto him tightly.
"I promise, Kaoru-dono." He said quietly brushing the tears from her face with a shaking hand. 'I promise to you Kaoru-dono, I will protect you and never kill again. Never again will you have to cry because of me...... And as long as I have you, I know this life is worth living. '