AFTERLIFE

Later, when it was all over and they would talk about it, Hyoga would say that it had been Miho who had started it all. Or even Tatsumi. But then Shun would say, sadly, that it had been Seiya's death which had marked the change in them all. And they would fall silent.

Blood. It gushed out from the gaping wound Hades' sword had made, a blazing vermillion colouring red Elysian soil. Seiya's blood, and Seiya was dead.

"No, no, not Seiya, not my friend, my brother! I would give my own life that he might live…'

"My fault, my fault, my fault…."

"Damn, damn, damn and damned!"

"It should have been me. He loved life… he had so much to live for…why could it not have been me?"

What Athena thought no-one would know. Yet, wrapped up as they were in shock and grief, they vaguely heard Hades laugh, and say that they had lost their only chance of vanquishing him. And they heard Athena say something about love, about it being the strongest force in the Universe, and how it would always triumph in the end. Hades laughed again and raised his sword against her, and that shook them into action. But the God of Death laughed once more, and swatted them like flies.

Then, Athena raised her staff and drove it straight through Hades' heart.

His final thoughts which he send them with his last bit of consciousness was a sneer :

"Love? Only very few people believe in such love, very few…"

…and then the thought drifted off, swept away by the winds of a crumbling Elysion.

Smiling and weeping at the same time, Athena wrapped her arms around Seiya, and in a final effort took them all back…

"Back to our wonderful world full of light…"

…where their friends would be waiting to celebrate their victory…

"But what a bitter victory it was…"

…where Seika was waiting, confidently, fully expecting her little brother to be alive.

They all were expecting him to be alive : Shina , Marin , Kiki… even Jabu, never Seiya's friend.

They were in a terrible state, having been hit by the full blast of Hades' power, trying to protect Seika.

But then they saw the sun return and with it Athena, and their fatigue and pain were quickly forgotten, in the joy of the moment. Joy that was just as quickly killed for good, at the sight of Seiya's dead body.

Shina just howled out her feeling of terrible loss, crying and shouting : "Why? Why? Why?!!!!"

Marin, as ever, remained impassive behind her mask, simply watching her pupil as she had watched him fall down a ravine so many years ago when during a training session he had not been able to hold on hanging upside-down from his feet. It had not touched her then, though he had survived, it did not touch her now.

Seing one's pupil die was the occupational hazard of every Saint. Whether she cared, or did not care, was impossible to tell ; hidden by the mask.

Jabu sobbed.

But perhaps the most terrible of all was to see Seika's grief, for she lapsed back into the amnesia she had been living in for the last seven years, and looked on the scene in complete bewilderment.

"Just watching you," Hyoga would tell her, later, "Made me feel like the price had been too high! And I kept wishing I had payed it myself.."

That thought passed through his head, and not only his, more than one in the following days.

As always happens when a loved one dies, there was a period of disbelieve, the feeling that he was still there, only just left the room, Seiya, so full of life, allways ready to crack a joke, or a fart, at the most inappropriate moment!

"He would not sit around and feel dazed, " Hyoga told himself, "He would go ahead and try to make something of his life!"

And that was the greatest problem that presented itsself to the surviving Saints, the greatest challenge they had ever faced : the feeling of " What now? Where do I go from here?" one gets after great excitement.

There had been a time when all they wished was to lead a 'normal' life, Athena be damned.

Even Athena herself, after the battle against Poseidon, had insisted they should.

Now they were not so sure that it was still possible, even if they had known what a 'normal' life meant.

But the problem was postponed by the matter of Seiya's funeral.

Athena wished it to be held in Sanctuary, of course, in a place of honour in the graveyard where all Saints were buried. But Seika came out of her stupor just long enough to insist that her brother be buried in Japan.

Jabu surprised everyone by defending her viewpoint, his chauvinism for once taking over from his puppy-like devotion to Saori-Athena, and so the Goddess reluctantly agreed.

"And that, " Ikki would say afterwards, "Was her first BIG mistake."

For from that moment on, events got more and more out of her hands, starting with the confrontation with Miho.

Miho, meek and mild Miho, ordinarily so subdued, who would not go down quietly, without a fight.

"I wouldn't have, " she would tell, " If you hadn't forgotten about me. I was not even allowed in at the funeral!"

Indeed, there had been some commotion at the gates of the Kido mansion – Athena had conceded on having Seiya buried in Japan, but not in a common graveyard, so the ceremony was held in the park, and a grand mausoleum planned- but Tatsumi had sent his henchmen, and , when questioned about it later, brushed it off as an incident of no importance. Nobody thought to question further, and nobody had seen the girl, still in apron

("Of course, I had only just heard , nobody had bothered to inform me, it was on the news on television, and I just rushed off without changing!")being marched off by two men in dark suits and sunglasses, like some kind of criminal. Which in the eyes of Tatsumi she was, natirally, having dared to enter the hallowed kido grounds uninvited, and demand to be taken to the princess herself, no she would not please leave, she had as much right as anyone to be here, it was her boyfriend that was being buried, and she was going to give the bitch that had sent him to his death a piece of her mind.

"I really hated her then, I really did. I had told Seiya just before he left for Sanctuary that I did not like that girl who always made him do dangerous things thing, risking his life….instead of enjoying it like other young people did…and he laughed it away, saying he did not think other young people profited from their youth in the right way , always idling about, only concerned with the newest craze and taking their girlfriends out –Seiya never took me out!- never sincere… ("What a limited view of mankind in general and youth in particular, there are plènty of young people who care about morer than their petty selves…besides, who are we to condemn those who do Sorry, I interrupted, go on…)… yes, but Seiya took pride in living bravely ( "Yeah, look where that got him!") … It got him killed! And wasn't there! Even that Poseidon was at the funeral, and the one playing the dirge on his flute, and they had been your mortal enemies! It felt like I was such an insignificant person that my feelings didn't matter anyway ('Nor did they, when even ours didn't . We were just pawns in the God-Game." Shun remarked more bitterly than anyone had ever heard him speak)…or like you had forgotten about me…" And they all would feel shame, for they hàd forgotten.

And then there had been the photograph.

In the days following the funeral, they all walked about like zombies . It as as if with Seiya something of their own life's essence had passed away. Marin and Jabu were the first to pull themselves together again, though in her case one could not have told the difference anyway. They went back to Sanctuary to start organising things.

Kiki was taken along, not so much because of his telekenitic powers that would be of great assistance in clearing away the debris of what remained of the Temples after Hades' onslaught, but to keep his mind occupied: he was not only mourning Seiya, but his master Mu as well, without a proper burial for the latter to help alleviate the pain, and he only a little boy of eight after all.

Shina, too, left, silently in the night, on her own, were to no-one could say.

Ichi, Nachi, Geki and Ban were in hospital recuperating, and would, with June , soon join Jabu and Marin in Sanctuary.

Shiryu went to China, to see Sun Rei, and brought her back with him, each finding comfort with the other.

Athena took up again her role as Saori Kido, throwing herself on her work as head of the Graad Foundation, faithful Tatsumi ever at her side ( or keeping such annoyances as angry and upset girlfriends at bay).

Doubtlessly, Shun had been the hardest hit, riddled with guilt at not having been able to keep Hades' spirit out.

He was on the brink of suicide then , if Ikki had not kept repeating over and over : But you did break the spell in the end, you did force Hades out of yours and into his own body, so that he could be killed. If it hadn't been for you, we would have lost!"

Hyoga felt a little lost then , being the only one without someone special who needed his comfort, or to comfort him. Even thinking of his mother did not help, though he held her rosary each night, kneeling in front of his bed, whispering half-remenbered prayers. She had always told him that God would be there for him in his hour of need, but that just didn't seem to be the case, and anyway, wasn't he a servant of a pagan Goddess? No wonder the Christian God would not listen! He could go back to Siberia of course, to be with Mama, and packed his things, then unpacked them, in two minds about leaving. He wondered what Seiya would have done in his place.

"Probably leave, and loudly proclaiming his independence, at that, too!" and he smiled despite himsekf.

Seiya had always been the impetuous one.

Then it struck him that he had hardly known the boy who had been his younger halfbrother. Just a couple of weeks as children at the Kido mansion, before being sent off to trainingcamp, and then a couple of days during the Galactican Tournament and the ensueing war against the Black saints, with hardly a friendly word spoken between them. After all, they had been enemies then: the false Pope, through his master Camu, had ordered him to eliminate the 'renegade' Bronze Saints. He still hadn't figured out why he had not done so. Killing them all upon his arrival in Japan had been well within his rights- according to the Laws of the Sanctuary, established by Athena : no Saint may fight for his own profit, on pain of death.

What had stopped him ? Was it because he knew even then that they were brothers-had known from the very firts day he had set foot in Japan, and met their mutual father ("No father he! He had not spoken one word worthy of one…")? Or maybe because it just didn't seem right killing people, even renegades, without allowing them the chance to explain themselves?

Or simply because he liked them? All three, perhaps, plus the fact that their motivation for taking part in that ridiculous tournament had had nothing to do with personal gain or glory. They had had no choice : all their choices, all their actions, their very lives had been dictated by the Graad Foundation from early childhood.

Puppets they had been, sent away for training, only to be yanked back by Saori Kido , like her Grandfather Mitsumasa before, pulling the strings. But the puppets had broken free from their strings, and had gone their own way. Even after she had revealed herself as Athena, they had not been keen to flock to her standard.

Again, he smiled : "Not many would have had the courage to stand up to a Goddess and tell her to get lost, and Seiya had said just that, Seiya, you were the bravest and the best of us all, and you were free! Why did you follow her then to Sanctuary? Shiryu went because his master had been attacked by Deathmask, and I because my own master Camu had thrown the ship which was my mother's resting place deep down to unreacheable muddy depths,but you? What made you go?Who made you go?"

Then the truth hit him : Seiya, despite his rebellious nature, or perhaps because of it, admired courage above all. And Saori/Athena had shown great courage, vowing to brave Sanctuary alone, if nescessary.

So in the end they had all accompanied her, and from then on events had been like a rivercurrent, wildly dragging them along , poor orphaned flotsam, untill leaving Athena's cause became impossible: psychologically, emotionally and even physically. The minute they had openly committed themselves to Athena's cause they had become official targets to all her enemies. There had been no question of simply standing on the sidelines and watch, then.

"As if there ever had been a choice for us," Hyoga thought, bitterly, and felt slightly ashamed for it. It felt like criticism of his Goddess and his own father, who had, after all, made the supreme sacrifice of his own children to save the world. He chided himself for being so selfish. Such thoughts were unworthy of a Saint.

"But I never wanted to be a Saint! Seiya did not, either…"

He remembered what Hades had said, about having seen Seiya before : a previous Pegasus Saint in a previous war.

"So if Seiya is the reïncarnation of an earlier Pegasus Saint, or perhaps even the very first one, that would explain his supreme loyalty to Athena in the end…and … yes, his love…what if every 200 years he had reïncarnated, like Athena herself, ever since mythological times, and lain down his life for her, again and again and again…what if I , too, am the reïncarnation of the first Cygnus…what if we all are, and keep repeating the same fight on and on and on what if it will never end I don't want to kill anymore all that blood Seiya, blood on my hands I'll never be clear of it Isaac what have I done HELP!!!"

He leaned against the wall, trembling, unsure whether he had screamed aloud

"Pull yourself together, Hyoga. Remember that you are a Saint: you did what you had to do, for Athena.

But if you are a reïncarnation…"

He had never liked the oriental belief in reïncarnation, the endless repeat of life after life, sometimes as something better, sometimes as something worse, a beetle perhaps, to be squished under someone's foot.

The sheer inescapability of it chilled him. You were supposed to learn and better yourself, each time, but what could a beetle learn? Or a Saint, come to that. Exept how to kill better, faster, nastier… hardly a way to reach enlightenment. Well, Saints were taught total detachment and acceptance of their fate, wich was supposed to do the trick. Still, he much preferred the Christian vision of Paradise or Hell after a Final Judgement, when the good and evil in his Soul would be weighed against each other, and he would be sent for all eternity to either the one place or the other.

"Probably Hell…but please, dear God , let mamma be in Heaven!" he whispered, hoping no-one would hear.

It was the first real prayer that had ever passed his lips, and he felt better for it. " Mamma was right, it doés help talking to God. It doesn't matter what happens to me, so long as Mamma is safe with Him, and she is, I'm sure of it." He almost felt happy again.

Almost.

His wandering had brought him to the room Seiya had briefly occupied, after their return from Poseidon's realm. He opened the door and found Shun sitting forlornly on the bed.

"Shun? Are you all right?"

The younger boy smiled at him , half sad, half ironically.

"That is really rather a stupid question, don't you think?"

Hyoga nodded, inwardly kicking himself, and sat down next to his half-brother.

"There isn't much left of him, is there?"

" ? "

"I mean, personal belongings, things, like, you know, favourite books , or toys, or something."

"Seiya was never one for much reading, except manga, and none of us ever played with toys- if we ever played at all."

"Hé did, though, too, look, there is his old butterfly net, I remember, Shiryu told me how Seiya nearly electrocuted himself one the fence, chasing one, if he had not warned him in time."

"Rather an odd occupation for someone so dedicated to his own freedom, chasing and capturing helpless

creatures." Hyoga remarked rather sourly, and immediately wished he hadn't. But Shun appeared not to have heard.

"I'll take the net, it will remind me of him. I need something…something I can touch…" he gave the Cygnus Saint a look, hazel eyes filling with tears.

Now was his chance for Hyoga to get closer to his little brother, who had done so much for him.

"Go on, put your arm around him and give him a hug, you know he needs it, he needs physical contact for comfort, and so do you. Help him, not just because he risked his life sharing his bodyheat with you after you had been delivered fromCamu's coffin of ice in the Libra Temple. Not just because he is your brother. Because you love him…"

Then Ikki entered, and the chance was lost. The Phoenix Saint cast an accusing glance at Hyoga, rushed at his brother's side hugging and soothing him with gentle words, leading him out of the room and away from Hyoga.. It was a softer, almost tender side of Ikki that he rarely showed so openly, though Hyoga had known it was there, hidden by that steely resolve of his, ever since he had glimpsed his halfbrother's Soul, during their battle in the caverns of Mount Fiji. He was the only one who knew Ikki's weakness, and the fierce Phoenix Saint would never forgive him for that., nor allow him to become close, either to him or to Shun.

Suddenly he felt desperately lonely.

His eye fell on the pitifully small pile of clothes Seiya had possesed.

A pair of worn out jeans. Socks. A couple of t-shirts, one with chocolate stains all over… "He would gorge on sweets whenever he had the chance… chocolate biscuits were his favourite, I remember now."…that was all.

Not even any underwear. "Perhaps Shun could wear the jeans, they are about the same size, I mean were…"

He picked them up. "Better not… wearing a dead mans trousers, it's a morbid idea…"

Suddenly he felt the urge to pull them on himself , allthough he knew they were a several sizes too small for him.

It was a tight fit, the legs going way above his ankles, but he managed to fasten and zip.

"Seiya, I wish I could replace you, I wish I had your cheerfullness, your ability to make us all laugh…but was that the real you, Seiya? I barely got to know you ." Lost in thought, he automatically trust his hands in the pockets. His left felt something papery, and he took it out. It was a photograph of a young girl, smiling into the camera, her pigtail and apron making her look even younger than her thirteen years. He had never seen her before.

And then he remembered someone- Shiryu ?- mentioning a girl Seiya had known at the orphanage, and who had stayed there, and Seiya meeting her again. A girl who had been fond of Seiya, too.

"What was her name again…yes, I remember.."

Miho.