Please Read and Review: Everyone's been great, and I would love to know how you think the conclusion's going.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Card Note: As I've said, I'm not a duelist. I once read in an interview with Kazuki Takahashi where he was asked why, in the manga, the cards sometimes work differently than in the actual game. He replied that the cards did whatever was necessary for him to tell the story.
Works for me. I tried to make the duel (or at least the part I described) somewhat realistic – or at least, not glaringly unrealistic. But I played the cards in the order that made the most emotional sense. And the main card in this chapter is totally made up. It's similar to a card from Noa's Arc, but I needed a different name, and slightly different attributes.
BELATED THANKS: I read a draft of Kagemihari's "Hanging" and the image of Kaiba "trailing fire" while making love must have stuck in my subconscious, because I ended up using the phrase in Chapter 23. So my thanks to Kagemihari for her understanding and support. I would also recommend reading "Hanging" because it's a good, emotionally intense series of narratives about Yami and Seto.
ADDITIONAL AUTHOR'S NOTES AND RESPONSES TO REVIEWS ARE AT THE END.
CHAPTER 23: IT'S TIME TO DUEL
YAMI'S NARRATIVE
If I was anxious about the upcoming battle, Kaiba was maniacal. He was putting the finishing touches on his system, arranging for its production and distribution and organizing our highly publicized contest at the newly finished Kaiba Stadium, all at the same time. His only reaction to any suggestion that he slow down or delegate some of his responsibilities was to snarl, "What did you think Battle City was like?"
As Mokuba realized, far sooner than I, work was his refuge from his emotions.
"He was much worse last time," Mokuba said encouragingly.
"I don't see how." I answered. "But, I'm touched. I must finally be part of the family. Kaiba's ignoring me, and you're lying to make me feel better."
He blushed as ducked his head.
"Well, he was louder at Battle City." He offered.
Despite myself, I had to smile at his eagerness, his insistence on cheering me up.
But that one night haunted me.
That one night when Kaiba had come closer to expressing his feelings, to acknowledging his love than I would have thought possible. That night, before he had disappeared into his lair to perfect his duel cuff – his offering to me.
That one night, at times, had the power to rob me of sleep as effectively as his nightmares.
I could have cursed Yugi's suggestion and Anzu's perception – for robbing me of more than the memory of that night – for replacing it with the many difficult ones ahead. But I knew they were right. We could not spend the rest of our lives ignoring the things that gave those lives meaning. We were lovers. We had been rivals. We would learn to be both.
Having seen the man he was becoming, I forced myself to be patient with the man he was. For I rarely saw Kaiba during the day. And he came to bed each night desperately trying to convince himself this was just a meaningless, unemotional exchange; that we were simply using each other.
I had been surprised by how compliant Kaiba could be in my arms. Oh not always. Kaiba could no more refrain from asserting himself, than he could stop breathing – and pliancy ran counter to his fiery, half-feral, nature. But often he was content to follow my lead, as if the true arousal lay in trusting me, and his true relief in surrendering, even briefly, his hard won independence.
Now, however, he approached each night as a prelude to our upcoming battle. It was hard not to respond to his challenge, to turn from joining in a struggle for dominance. But Kaiba had seen far too much fighting in his brief life, and far too little tenderness. I reminded myself that he had no reason to look on life as anything but a battlefield. So I accepted a harder challenge – taming my wild dragon, and reclaiming his trust.
I would tell him that I loved him. Knowing he'd reject the words; knowing he desperately wanted to hear them. I tried to reassure him that no duel could make us enemies. I would succeed long enough for him to let me caress him… to coax him into responding with all the passion and trust I could desire; with all the fire in his dragon's soul… to be soothed to sleep afterwards in my arms; to hold me in his.
Mokuba had been right. Again and again, I asked for the two treasures he guarded most fiercely: his heart and his trust. He never denied me either. But his assent never survived the night; never outlasted the sheltering darkness.
As far as he had come since Battle City, at heart he believed only in the inevitability of betrayal. He had accomplished so much, yet he had no experience with being valued. He had simply never been close to anyone who had not abandoned or abused him, except for Mokuba, who he in turn had betrayed. In the end, if he suspected me, he had even less faith in himself.
Terrible things had been done in my name. An entire village had been sacrificed to create the puzzle which had housed me. When I had first emerged, I had meted out horrible punishments in judgment to those whom I named Yugi's enemies. They had been guilty, but the punishments had often greatly exceeded the crimes. I had planned to kill Kaiba for stealing a card; a card that I now know had called to him irresistibly. At times I wondered, was this dark spirit truly me? Yugi, and even Kaiba himself, had helped me see that if it was a part of me, it was not all I was, or was capable of being. It did not define me. I tried to pass that lesson on to Kaiba, but there are some things that can only be learned through experience.
However, once the contest began, I forgot my doubts, and Kaiba's unspoken fears. The duel absorbed us both. Kaiba had re-created the surreal, almost disorienting sense of the Shadow Realm. The demons were so real, that instead of being just a competition, it had become a drama, with each clash telling a story.
It was now late in the game. Kaiba had been wary of trying to assemble his Ultimate Dragon, cautious of my Defusion card. He had finally succeeded in luring it out of my deck by attacking with different joined creatures. I didn't realize he had added the two cards needed to create the Skull Knight to his deck, although I should have: Tainted Wisdom must have appealed to his twisted sense of himself, and perhaps Ancient Brain was a nod in my direction. For once, he picked the right Magical Hat. It had collapsed into a shroud, before bursting into purple and black flame, taking my Dark Magician with it. Kaiba looked at me and smiled. I could picture him creating that effect, watching it over and over. One Defusion card later, and Black Magic Girl, with a glint in her eye, along with Summon Skull, had gotten revenge.
Now he was calling the Lord of Dragons to the field, Summoning Flute in hand. He used his two Blue Eyes to clear my field. The third must be in his hand. It was what I had been waiting for. I had three cards face down on the field. I played Card Disposal, and sent both our hands to the graveyard, destroying his third Blue Eyes unplayed. Then I turned over Change of Heart. With sad eyes, my angel forced his mighty beasts to destroy each other in a clash of blinding blue lightening. My turn was over. The field was empty, except for my face down Mirror Shield; my protection against a potential attack. But, the odds were that Kaiba, at this late stage, would not be able to draw a weaker monster to sacrifice or even to use as a shield. And my Celtic Guardian was now in my hand, eager to deliver the final stroke in our battle.
Kaiba drew his next card and I saw him smile. It wasn't his usual 'I'm about to win' smirk. It was gentler, a smile of anticipation. I knew which card he had drawn: Earth Reborn. He had worked on the effects for a week, showing them to no one but Mokuba; telling me I would have to wait to see if he drew it in battle.
It was a smart move. Not only was my Mirror Shield swept away, but with Earth Reborn, the normal summoning rules did not apply, any other card effects were cancelled, magic and trap cards were sent to the graveyard, our hands discarded, and our decks reshuffled. We would have to draw the top card and play it on the field. It would be a simple match of power against power, and the monster with the highest attack points would win the duel. It was a gamble, but like all of Kaiba's actions, calculated. At this stage of the game, he had many more powerful monsters than I. Also, my deck was far more dependent on the magic and trap cards that now lay in my graveyard.
He held out the card theatrically, and set it with a flourish. Along with the rest of the audience, I gasped in awe as the earth itself reared up in torment around us: volcanoes flared, mountains toppled, lightning split the sky as the world tore itself apart, and we were left in total darkness. The profound absence of light was disquieting; menacing. Then the night softened; blanketing us; holding us in its embrace. Became the familiar darkness that had harbored Seto as he pieced his heart together. I felt myself relax, as we stood for a moment in his comfortable silence.
Then, in the East, came the first faint glow: it was the time before dawn, when darkness still rules, but the hope of day is present. As my eyes adjusted to the slowly growing light, I could see we were on a beach; I could smell the sea. The crowd was so silent, I could hear the far off cry of gulls.
I marveled that this searingly personal vision of apocalypse and rebirth had been created by a man almost incapable of holding a conversation. A man who communicated, even with Mokuba and me, mainly through grimaces and grunts, and the silences between his words. As the faint, first rays of dawn crept over the horizon, I realized I was looking at Seto's voice. That the inventions he created were just as much an expression of his soul as his deck. And I realized, for the first time, the enormity of what Gozaburo had done to him when he had twisted Seto's designs into weapons of death.
But it was time for the duel to end….
He drew his last card. I saw him square his shoulders, lift his head proudly, and I knew – he had drawn the losing card. He was prepared to face this defeat as stoically as he faced his life, staring at his loss, his face an emotionless mask. I wanted to shake him, remind him of all that he had accomplished today, and not just because his duel cuff was a success. Throughout our battle, he had stayed himself. He had fought me, not the ghost of his adoptive father. And fleetingly, when his Rabid Horseman charged, or his dragons shimmered to life, he had seemed like a ten-year old who loved to play games. I waited for him to turn the card….
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I know – it's mean of me to stick a cliff-hanger in here so late in the game (sorry, I never met a bad pun I didn't like.) Actually I wasn't just being evil – the next part needs to be narrated by Seto Kaiba, and this was the most logical place for a break. Please review – and in addition to telling me how sadistic I am – let me know what you think of the rest of the chapter!
One thing that has always struck me is how little time Kaiba actually has to spend playing Duel Monsters, or even studying his deck. At Battle City, everyone else basically gets to duel, eat, and hang around. Well, okay, they're also either getting brainwashed by Malik, or trying to rescue each other from Malik. But the point is – Kaiba does all of that, and it's in addition to organizing the tournament, enforcing its rules, tracking the Rare Hunters and the God Cards, trying to flush out and destroy the Rare Hinters, finishing and testing his duel disk, marketing it, creating plans for Kaiba Land, overseeing the construction of Kaiba Stadium, running an international corporation that's launching a major new product, and raising Mokuba (a full time job in and of itself.) I mean the amount of work and responsibilities that make up his average day is overwhelming. It's also something that everyone simply accepts as just being part of his life – no one ever comments on the pressure (okay, a lot of it self-imposed) that this guy operates under.
Re-uploading Note: I found myself in a real setting-my-house-in-order mood. It must be Cards ending soon. Anyway, I fixed the continuity errors, made minor revisions to Chapters 6 & 7 and corrected a bunch of typos in Chapter 23. Then, indulging my perfectionist streak (possibly I've been channeling Kaiba for too long) I made minor changes to "Jou's POV," and re-named it (thanks, again to Kagemihari) "Simply Complicated: A View from the Side." I also made incredibly minor changes to "After Death-T," and renamed it, "Is there Life after Death-T?" I'm probably the first writer saying this, but if you've read them already, don't bother with the re-uploaded versions, the changes were minor things that had started to bug me. (The largest change was adding a paragraph about Malik to "Simply Complicated."
Profile Update: I finally got around to putting a bunch of stuff on my profile. I put up some out-takes from "I Guess it was in the Cards." It's mainly stuff I cut out because it ended up parodying the characters. I think it's pretty funny, so I guess I put it up to prove that I actually have a sense of humor.
Upcoming Story Ideas: Some people were nice enough to ask if I'm planning on writing anything else. Thank you – you have no idea how flattering that is! So I also included descriptions of three story ideas I'm working on, and some sample lines on my profile. Actually, considering the snail's pace at which I write, I have no idea if or when, I'll finish – making this a bit of a tease. But, I can say that I won't start a story unless I know I'll finish it, no matter how long it gets. Anyway, if you would like me to e-mail you when I finally start posting a new story, please e-mail me with your address. But please leave a review of this chapter here first.
RESPONSES TO REVIEWSAnimebay-b, Chibi Angelic Slayer, Desidera Kagenihari, samurai-ashes – Duel: Desidera compared the duel to a final step that the characters must take to seal their commitment. That's exactly what I was trying to convey. These guys are duelist. It's part of who they are. They're both incredibly competitive – so competitive that earlier Yami makes the point that they are careful only to compete over things that don't matter to either of them. But it seemed that they would reach the point where that wasn't good enough anymore, where they would have to see if they could hold onto their love, in the face of their own competitive natures.
Kaiba would fear this the most, partly because he doesn't have Yami's faith, and trust is more of a challenge for him, especially as his entire history has taught him that people aren't trust worthy. But I also think he would see this as a necessary step, and as he's pointed out, he's never been one to back off from a challenge.
AnimeFan-Artemis, Blue September, Kagemihari, Lightning Sage, Red Dragon 4, samurai-ashes, Tokemi – Character Development: I actually read Kaiba's narratives in sequence when I'm editing, because I'm trying to show his, at times halting progress towards being more open and more expressive. I see him as having two intertwined challenges: to accept Yami's love, and to accept that he is a person worthy of being loved.
Crimson Violet Eyes, Female Yami/Yugi – Kaiba and Yami: For this reason (see above), I think their relationship has a lot of push and pull in it. Kaiba can't let go of Yami, but he has a hard time accepting caring about someone, and being cared for. I imagine there are times when he can't stand it. Not only is he fighting his own conviction that everyone will abandon or abuse him in the end, but his own belief that this is what he deserves. It's actually a sign of his determination and the depth of his love, that he hasn't given up, but continues to struggle against himself, and the walls of his upbringing.
I think they are well matched on an almost elemental level. Kaiba has an almost unbreakable resolve and the ability to face life unflinchingly, and a willingness to risk everything for what he believes in, that I think Yami admires, and can even learn from. He's also the only character who ever manages to surprise Yami – who Yami can't always predict, which I think must be refreshing. And Yami has the balance that Kaiba desperately needs, as well as a kind of deep patience and devotion that lets him accept Kaiba for who and where he is.
Jargonelle – Kaiba training Mokuba: I think Kaiba's certainly training Mokuba to be able to run Kaiba Corporation, either with him or alone. He always refers to it as a family business, and I think he sees it as being part Mokuba's. Whether that means running it with Mokuba or not, is I think, confused in his mind. But I think he's training Mokuba because it's the only thing he can give him, and in a way, it's giving Mokuba part of himself.
Crimson Winter – Yugi's friends: I think Yugi's friends must really push against Kaiba's comfort level. And I do think, that given his childhood, he might judge people by whether they could have survived, and consider Yugi's friends as falling short. I think he would make exceptions for people he felt that he owed something to, since he has a strong sense of obligation, like Yugi and Anzu. I can't really ever picture him just wanting to hang out, though.
Tokemi – Atlas Moth: No, I never saw Silence of the Lambs – probably luckily. I just had a picture of Kaiba with this huge, ugly bug in his mouth, and Yami laughing at him, and then had to figure out what this weird image meant. Not knowing anything about bugs, I went to Barnes and Noble to look through a bug book for a really big ugly sucker that was native to Japan – and this seemed the worst.
Kagemihari, Red Dragon 4, samurai-ashes – limes: Thanks. Lime is one of my favorite colors. Well, I like lemon, too.
Lone Wolf 55 – DVDs: Glad you like the DVDs. Subtitles are probably an acquired taste that some people never acquire.
Ligntning Sage – Thank you. That was one of a few grammar errors that I have corrected.
Sunrise and Sunset – Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you're still finding the story interesting. Hope the conclusion lives up to your expectations.