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I was not looking forward to this. I had the same feeling in my stomach that I had when I watched England in the last the world cup.

I was currently standing in the middle of my room trying to psyche myself up. I quickly jumped up and down on the spot hoping to expel some of the butterflies that were fluttering in my gut. I felt really sick. I could chicken out of this, it'd be easy. I could just say I'd forgotten what I wanted to say, of course that would also mean facing the wrath of Haldir. I grimaced at the thought, and besides, I couldn't let him down. After all, he was coming when he didn't have to. My musings were interrupted by three smiling elves.

"Glorfindel!"

I hugged him with all my strength. I hadn't really seen him since we'd arrived and I'd missed him. Then in turn I hugged Legolas and Haldir.

We all made ourselves comfortable on my huge bed. It really was massive; it could've fit at least another three people on it.

Legolas and Glorfindel were sat at the top at my bed and Haldir and me were sat at the bottom. I reached out for Haldir' s hand. I needed to hold onto something real.

"Ok, I know that I've been a bitch lately, and I know that you both want to know why I have so many scars. So, I'm going to tell you"

I drew in a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"Ok. Just sit there and listen, you can ask questions when I'm done". I sounded like a teacher.

"I had the perfect family. Sure we had our arguments, but we'd always apologize to each other. My brother and sister were good in school. My sister was at the top of her year and my brother was captain of the football team. Me? Well I got by, I got the grades that I needed and that was good enough. I went to piano and dance lessons. Every few months we'd put on a recital and all the parents would watch. My parents would sit in the same place every time, the middle of the third row from the front. They'd watch as I danced and they'd sit there with huge smiles on their faces. After it was over my dad would come over and hug me and my mother would cry.

But then something changed. It was my thirteenth birthday. Mum and me had gone out the day before and had done everything that a mother and daughter were supposed to do. We got our hair and nails done at an expensive salon. We spent hours trying on clothes. We had lunch and then did some more shopping. It was so much fun. We got home and collapsed. And before I went to bed mum came in and hugged me, tighter than she ever had, and she whispered, "Happy birthday honey", she said it as if it would be my last birthday and everything would change. She did know that there was something wrong. I later found out that dad had been cheating on her with his secretary. She had confronted him about it and he'd hit her. I hadn't known. She'd know that he'd be furious with her when he found out how much we'd spent, but she told me that she'd done it because she wanted to make my birthday memorable and special. And she had. We bonded more that day than we'd done in last year.

Dad came home the next day. He was shouting about how much he hated work and how the job wasn't worth the pay. I felt so angry with him. My day had been shit. It was Monday morning and I'd been late for school, forgotten my homework for the meanest teacher and had managed to get myself in detention for two hours the next day. I could hear voices getting louder and louder downstairs. Mum had told him what we'd done. A door slammed and a pair of heavy footsteps made their way up the stairs.

I was in the middle of getting changed. I grabbed my bag off the bed and threw it into the wardrobe. My door opened a little and my dad asked if I was dressed. I told him yeah and he came in. He looked mad, not just angry but also slightly manic. He waked towards me. I began to panic. He slammed me into the wall, knocking the air out of my lungs.

"Listen to me you good for nothing little bitch. I had a little talk with your mother this morning and it seems that you two have been, shall we say…taking me for a ride. Spending my money, eating my food and what do I get? Nothing. Why can't you be like your brother and sister hmm? They're good kids. I'm ashamed to call you my daughter!"

I was shocked; my own father was ashamed of me. I hadn't done anything wrong. I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he held me there.

He punched me in the stomach and if he wasn't holding me I would've collapsed. He backhanded me. It hurt. He sent me sprawling across the floor and I couldn't get up.

He took off his belt and brought it down on my back. It felt like fire. I didn't cry or beg him to stop. I had to be punished; I had been out and spent his money without even thinking to ask him. So I deserved it.

After that he beat me regularly. First he'd only do it once or twice a week, then he'd do it three times, then five and within a few months I was being beaten every night. He told me not to tell anyone or he'd do something much worse. So I kept my mouth shut.

After that first beating I was bathing and I saw a razor, you know those things that you two found on me…"

I said looking at Legolas and Glorfindel. They looked sadly at me but nodded. Haldir squeezed my hand.

"…Anyways, I picked up the razor and rested it on my forearm, I don't know why. It hurt, but as soon as I lifted it off my skin a thin line of blood appeared and I felt good. I watched as the blood ran down my arm and mingled with the water. All the feelings of pain and anger and betrayal had run out of me with my blood.

After every beating I would sit in the bathroom and cut myself. It felt like such a release. I couldn't cry or shout so I cut instead. And soon it didn't hurt.

As the years passed the beatings would get worse and so would my cutting. I couldn't think straight. People had questioned me about the long-sleeved shirts that I'd wear during the summer, but I never told anyone.

The beatings were beginning to knock me unconscious and they were more painful than before.

I wasn't living a life I was just going through the pointless motions.

Then one night I got my razor box and I sat on the bed as usual, and I cut. I cut like a maniac, I couldn't stop myself, and I cut both my arms as deep as I could. I started to get really dizzy and black spots kept appearing in my vision. I was tired and I decide to lie down. As I lay there a bright light appeared at the foot of my bad. And a woman stepped out. I thought she was an angel and I was dying.

I was dying, but she wasn't an angel.

You wouldn't believe the stupid thoughts that ran through my head as I watched her.

She came over and whispered something like, "Rest now and we will meet on the other side", I can't really remember. But she had long golden hair and amazing blue eyes. And she wore a white beaded dress. It was Galadriel. Of course, I didn't know that at the time. And that's why I ran out the dining hall.

I woke up here, in Middle-Earth. My arms were still bleeding and I needed to find somewhere to wash up so I set off. I turned round and fell over my bag. I still don't remember packing that and how the hell did it even get here?

Anyway…what I didn't count on was a certain nosy prince finding me. Legolas found me and took me to Elrond. I know that I seemed happy in Rivendell, but I wasn't and I didn't want to trouble you. I wish now that I told you, but I didn't. I was still cutting. In my bag was a brand new packet of razors. I'd use them everyday. After dinner I'd go back to my room and cut my thighs so nobody would notice. Then I'd get into bed with Legolas and sleep, and then everything would happen again the next day. I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you.

And then on the trip, things got worse. Even though I'm not one of Elrond' s biggest fans, Rivendell was safe and the thought of coming somewhere with new people scared the shit out of me. So I cut more often. I didn't want to talk to you two so I stopped talking altogether. And then when you found me Legolas. I've never been more ashamed in my life. I'd disappointed you and betrayed you when you tried so hard to make me happy. And I'm so sorry"

I looked up at Legolas and Glorfindel. They sat with thoughtful and angered expressions that looked out of place on their flawless faces. Glorfindel sat back and watched as Legolas stood from the bed and began pacing.

"What are you doing?"

Haldir asked, somewhat amused at the elf's odd behaviour.

Legolas stopped pacing and picked up his quiver from inside a tall cupboard.

"I have to leave, I'll be back later"

I nodded and smiled at him as he left. He wasn't the only one who wanted to leave. I wished I were back at home. In my lovely warm bed staring at the white ceiling above me.

Glorfindel stood up and lifted my hand to meet his lips and before I could open my mouth he was already gone.

Haldir was the last to leave,

"You have said much yet you keep much hidden"

He was right of course. But then again, everybody keeps some things to themselves.

"Goodnight Thalia"

The door closed behind me and I felt a huge weight fall from my shoulders. But I was alone, and that was what mattered. I had not been alone for so long and it was nice to stand on the balcony and look up at the stars without the feeling that I was interrupting or disturbing somebody.