A Letter
December 14th 2002
Dear Harm,
I know that you're probably wondering why I'm writing you now. You might want to be left alone and I will do so if you ask me to. But if this is how we end our friendship I want us to leave it without any thing left unsaid. I think we owe each other that much at least.
I've wanted to explain to you about what happened between Sturgis and me. I know you said that you didn't care about what I did, but I also know that you do care. Otherwise you wouldn't have behaved the way you did after you found out. It hurt that you were ignoring me and that you were angry with me. Most of all though, knowing that I've hurt you, hurts the most.
I can't tell you why we did it. There are no good reasons for it. There can't be. I was hurt and sad and Sturgis tried to comfort me. He was dealing with some problems of his own at the time, problems, which I don't think he had told either you or me about. We both needed someone and the other person was there. Needless to say we both regretted it afterwards and when things were finally better again, I found out that I'm pregnant.
There's nothing we can do about it. What has been done, has been done. Regardless of everything I'm happy about having this baby. And I'm happy that it's Sturgis. Of all the guys I've ever been involved with, I'm lucky to have Sturgis as the father of my child.
Which brings me to why I'm really writing. When I told you about it, I said that I was sorry and that I had betrayed you. Now I've realized that the one I really betrayed was my self. Just like I did with Mic. I have learned to settle for less than what I wanted because I didn't believe I was worth the things I wanted. I won't do that anymore. If I can't be with the one I love, I don't want to be with anyone.
I don't want to loose your friendship, but if that's what will happen, then I wish you all the best for your future and hope that you can do the same for me.
Love always,
Mac
December 14th 2002
Dear Harm,
I know that you're probably wondering why I'm writing you now. You might want to be left alone and I will do so if you ask me to. But if this is how we end our friendship I want us to leave it without any thing left unsaid. I think we owe each other that much at least.
I've wanted to explain to you about what happened between Sturgis and me. I know you said that you didn't care about what I did, but I also know that you do care. Otherwise you wouldn't have behaved the way you did after you found out. It hurt that you were ignoring me and that you were angry with me. Most of all though, knowing that I've hurt you, hurts the most.
I can't tell you why we did it. There are no good reasons for it. There can't be. I was hurt and sad and Sturgis tried to comfort me. He was dealing with some problems of his own at the time, problems, which I don't think he had told either you or me about. We both needed someone and the other person was there. Needless to say we both regretted it afterwards and when things were finally better again, I found out that I'm pregnant.
There's nothing we can do about it. What has been done, has been done. Regardless of everything I'm happy about having this baby. And I'm happy that it's Sturgis. Of all the guys I've ever been involved with, I'm lucky to have Sturgis as the father of my child.
Which brings me to why I'm really writing. When I told you about it, I said that I was sorry and that I had betrayed you. Now I've realized that the one I really betrayed was my self. Just like I did with Mic. I have learned to settle for less than what I wanted because I didn't believe I was worth the things I wanted. I won't do that anymore. If I can't be with the one I love, I don't want to be with anyone.
I don't want to loose your friendship, but if that's what will happen, then I wish you all the best for your future and hope that you can do the same for me.
Love always,
Mac