13.
Letter sent Poste Restante, Falcone San Antonio, Central Post Office Palermo, December the sixth
Antonia
Of course I write you back.
It is the same for me as it is for you: there are things I can only talk about with you.
You have undergone the same kind of treatment as I have, possibly worse; you know what it is like.
It was good to hear you found your family again. It gives me hope to find mine too. As it was always my mamma and I, it never occurred to me that there might be others. Mamma was quite young: her parents may still be alive. Thanks to you I have a good chance of finding them. It will be hard, for the Soviet Union does not give information on its citizens so readily as Italy does. Although I was not given the passport you retrieved from the Kido safe, they did give me a copy of her photograph. Mrs. Field had it enlarged and framed for me. I have it hanging on the wall with mamma's rosary around it, like your statue of San Antonio!
The rosary is a clue to my family too, for it is a Latin cross, not an orthodox one, and not many people in Russia nowadays would have solid gold crosses with jewels. Maybe we were rich once. I only hope that they are not apparatsjiki (that is kind of like the Mafia, only they are the Government in Russia). But I know mamma's family name now: Mickiewicz, which is a Polish name, and she was born in Lvov. That is a city in the Ukraine that used to part of Polandc some centuries back and there are still numerous catholic descendants of Polish immigrants, so that figures.
Secretly, I consider the Fields to be my family.
They took me in their home and made me feel like one of them.
Children with parents are so lucky. I envy you your mother. Mrs. Field is like one to me. She is always ready to comfort me, and tucks me in at night. I suppose that sounds silly for someone of fifteen, but it feels good, being a child again, and just a little strange, like a memory of long ago you never knew you had. Suddenly there is someone who is there for you. It is good to have someone tuck you in when you feel bad. I still miss mamma, but it hurts less now, perhaps because mrs. Field tells me that there is no shame in missing her.
Cherish your mother. Don't be angry with me, but I envy you for her, more so because now I know that mine was murdered. Kido's doing. Does that surprise you? What would he not for the Goddess? A crime I wish I could bring him to justice for.
It is great that you wish to be a lawyer. Mrs. Field used to be a barrister too until she took early retirement a few years ago. She says it is a very exacting and tiring profession, but very gratifying too.
It is very brave of you to think ahead. I am a fatalistic Russian: I dare not. There is still, always, Athena.
Revealing about the Saints meant explaining everything to people 'in high places'. I believe you've had to do the same? In my case it was to Mr. Fields old school friend Sir Frederick Mountjoy. I thought he would be a stern soldier type of man, at any rate someone commanding and imposing: not at all! He said to me: "Lad, you only have to tell us what you want to tell. It is natural if you feel like you are betraying your Masters. But we cannot do something about them if we don't know more than we do, which at the moment is practically nothing."
So, because he gave me the choice (which our Masters never did) I told all, even gave a demonstration, and when I had finished he sank backwards in his chair and gasped: "Lad, I'll be honest with you: when I first heard of your lot I didn't believe any of it. Now I don't know whether to weep, be angry, or totally terrified."
Then he leaned forward and looked me straight in the eye: "We can take the load off your shoulders, but, we can only do so much. I'll set in motion all the steps we can take with our Friends and Allies against Graad. Turn off the money-tap for one thing. Basic tactics: cut off the enemy's supply lines. Chip at their power, bit by bit. Military speaking we are nowhere short of dropping the Bomb on that Sanctuary. What we should hope for is a dismantlement of the organisation. That could be achieved by legal action in concert with the local authorities, followed by careful negotiation from a position of strength. One thing I can promise you though: if I can help it, neither you nor Antonia Marini will ever have to wear armour again. Nor any other child."
I knew he meant it.
Then he told me something that scares me: Minako, Miho's friend has been caught!
They are after us.
She got away though, thanks to Ikki! He pretended to use the Phoenix Illusion on her and told Athena that Minako knew nothing. He then took her home and advised her to lay low for a while, then run for it. She and her parents are now in hiding in a Safe House provided by British Government, Mr. Fletcher-Parks doing. He also informed the Intelligence Service.
So Athena still does not know where we are, and of you she knows nothing at all, nor is she aware of our 'Friends and Allies' involvement, as Sir Frederick would put it. But she is looking for me, the Renegade.
However, there is a bright side to all this: Ikki supports us! And where he is, Shun is also.
We're not alone any more!
If only I dared contact them telepathically: but Athena might be tapping into the Big Will and trace me.
And if she can't, Shaka will.
That's right, Shaka the Gold Virgo Saint has returned. You'd think that he'd had the decency to stay dead for once but no. From what Ikki told Minako, he is constantly scrying for the other Goldies. I don't know how to feel about that. Much as I still hold my master in regard, I don't want him to come back from the dead. He will probably try to kill me for the umpteenth time.
Then there is the coming God War to worry about.
I must tell you this: if the worst comes to the worst and Athena risks losing the battle, I will don my Cloth again and fight.
Not with the Goddess. Never for the Goddess.
But for Earth, and our families.
If all Saints did that, we might end this God-game once and for all.
Dobre tchaz (that means: 'Good luck', in Russian)
Hyoga.
P.S. Do not, if you write to the others, speak of what I said. I do not want them scared too, and there is nothing they can do anyway. Let them have a happy childhood, of sorts, at Crows Hall