"James! It' s so good to see you, son." James's mom tells him as she
walks down the stairs from the porch, hugging him as he gets out of
the car. He hugs her back, reaches back in and gets Toby out of the
car seat. He then strides around the car and gets Cadence out,
lifting her slight frame into his strong, muscular arms. His mother
hurries ahead of him as he carries her sleeping form into the house.
His mom opens the door to his old room, where he lays her down and
tucks her in after taking off her glasses, jacket, boots and socks.
"So this is the little Taffy that you've been telling us about?" his mom asks.
"No, ma'am, this is Taffy's weaponsmithing counterpart Cadence, our demolitions expert and weaponsmith hobbyist. I have a lot of fun testing her little toys," James replies. "Taffy is Tony's girlfriend."
"And Cadence is yours," he mom says.
"No ma'am, not exactly. Not that I don't want her to be, but she's had some serious problems in her past that she needs time to resolve, and I want to give her the time she needs to heal before I ask her to be my girlfriend."
"I understand. You're a good man, son. I'm proud of you. She looks to have had a good fight lately, and it looks like she lost."
"No ma'am. She caught the brunt of a bomb blast coming down the hall of the machine shop."
"Oh my goodness, I hope she's okay."
"Well, she has a slight concussion and she's still bruised and battered, but it's nothing that a little time and love won't heal."
As soon as his mom leaves the room, heading for the kitchen to check on the casserole that she was cooking, James shuts the door behind her. He bends over and places a chaste, tender kiss on Cadence's temple.
"I was telling the truth honey. One day when you feel strong enough we'll make it official."
She stirs in her sleep and he draws back against the wall, hoping that he didn't wake her up. She needed to sleep as much as she could. She'd been working herself raw lately, what with the new recruits, and the sabotage going on. She would usually only manage maybe an hour of sleep every night, that is, if she was fortunate. One of the reasons that he had brought her with him was so the rest of the unit could repair her lab in the unused office in the corner of the machine shop, because someone unknown at the moment had bombed it. That, and the fact that he had an idea for a surprise at the Christmas Dance for her. He'd already gotten her Christmas present.
He, Ralph, Chuck, Eric, Tony, Taffy and Courtney had all thrown together to get her an entirely new set of tools because hers had been in her lab when the explosion happened. Chuck had somehow managed to find and get the one thing that Cadie had never been able to find, although she had wanted one for most of her life- a silver point Siamese kitten. They had planned to have it in her quarters when she got back onto the base, with a huge bow tied around its neck. Chuck's wife, Shelby, was helping by getting the kitten housebroken, and the rest of the guys were getting it used to the other animals on the base. Already, it was buddies with Snake Eyes's wolf, Timber.
Personally, he had gotten her a silver necklace with a teardrop shaped pendant that had blue and green swirls in the center. The green just matched her eyes, and the whole set had caught his attention when he was walking through the mall the other day, Christmas shopping for his family.
He knew that she didn't have any family and wasn't really planning on doing anything for the holidays. At least this way, he could keep an eye on her so he could make sure she wouldn't do anything stupid.
As she settles back to the deep sleep that he knew she needed, he scribbles out a note and slides it underneath her glasses on the nightstand, knowing that she would find it, and slipped out the door, leaving it open a crack. He then went downstairs and had a large cup of coffee at the table with the rest of the family, catching up on the latest gossip and everything.
He turns around slowly in his seat when he hears a small noise behind him. Looking towards the stairs, he spots Cadence, shyly, slowly, coming down the stairs. He gets up and dashes over to her, wrapping his arm around her waist. He sees the deer in the headlights look in her eyes, and knows that he has to get her somewhere where they could talk, privately, quickly. He realized somewhere in the back of his mind that she wasn't ready to meet his entire family at once. Her shyness had come to the fore, and one or two people were all she could handle at a time.
He guides her past the doorway, signaling his mother that they would be back later, and outside, into the woods in the backyard and to what looked like an abandoned treehouse. He boosts her up and follows her inside.
James crawls up through the trapdoor and over to the corner, slumping against the wall. Cadence follows him and lets herself be settled onto his lap.
He runs his fingers through her long auburn hair, unbraiding and combing it with his fingers, wondering if he's really ready to find out what Cadence has to say.
"The reason I needed to talk to you is because I need you to know what it's like to be me, James, and to maybe show you why I'm like I am when it comes to dealing with people, why I'm such a loner, and why I'm so terrified of people."
She sighs as he snuggles her closer to him and wraps his jacket around both of them. "What is it, Cadie? What's wrong?"
"To start with, the first item that you have to remember is that letter that I received from that law firm a few months ago. It was a notification that my family was trying to cut all ties with me. They decided that, number one, I was never good enough to be a member of that family, and number two, that they no longer wanted anything to do with me, and they decided to make it legal, finally, and number three, they wanted to wipe me out of existence, which is why I immediately went to talk to Hawk about it when I calmed down. I'm now on my own more than anyone will ever be."
She sighs. "As far back as I can remember, no one in my family wanted me. My father left before I was born and my mother hated me because of it, I guess. She loved my two younger brothers, Daniel and Jacob, though why them and not me, I never figured out. Maybe it was because I was a girl, I really don't know. Daniel's father didn't stick around either, but she married Jacob's dad, and was cheating on him not too long afterwards. She made good and sure that I knew that she or her husbands or boyfriends didn't want me, and she did it so publicly that I had no recourse. I discovered the other day why I always seemed to get sick whenever she would take me to his house with her."
"Why? What was going on?"
Cadence lowers her head in shame as she whispers, "I remembered it, finally. Something triggered my memory. It was because he was using me, James."
"Using you? How?" he asked, actually frightened of the answer that he would receive.
"He was f-f-forcing me to have s-se-s-sex with him." She looks up into his eyes, expecting to see revulsion or pity from him, all the shame and pain that she had held inside for so long threatening to force itself out of her showing in her eyes. All she saw in his eyes was the love and friendly affection that she didn't ever expect to find in her life.
She couldn't help it; she completely let herself go. The tears that she had never allowed herself to let fall forced their way out, and she completely lost control of herself then.
"James," she said, pleadingly, "I was no more than four or five when it started! And after they broke up, mother discovered that men would pay her for time to screw me. She was pimping me out like I was some kind of whore, and there was nothing I could do about it." Pain that she had kept inside all her life, never daring to show anyone, finally was released in a torrent of tears, as she finally felt safe enough to let go of it.
As he felt her tears soak through his shirt, he held her quivering body close to his and could feel himself begin to tremble with rage at how this beautiful, sweet little child had been treated. His blood ran cold as he realized what she was feeling; she wasn't sure that this one man that had befriended her would want to be her friend anymore. She was sure that he was going to throw her away like so many people had done to her in the past.
He only knew that there was nothing that was going to tear him away from her at this point, the only problem being that she didn't know it. Yet. If it took him the rest of his life, he was going to prove to her that she was worth something; that she deserved to be happy and loved. And he was going to be the man that loved her like none other could.
"It went on like that for a couple of years until she decided to sell me to one of the guys living down the street from us for use as a sex slave. By this time, I found myself to be getting craftier and cleverer. I found that I had a knack for making weapons out of just about anything. I was seven when she sold me to him, and ten when she threw me out of the house because he complained that my body was too grown up. It was a few days after my birthday when I found myself on the streets, hanging on by the least little thread. I had to learn to duck, dodge, and skid my way around people, and it was there that I really began to feel the betrayals that would forever color my attitude towards people. I taught myself how to survive, and when I grew old enough to, I joined the military. Easy way to survive, easy pay. It wasn't as hard to survive there as it had been on the streets. There was nothing that they could do to me that I hadn't already survived something worse. I always had a place to sleep and nourishing food, which is the only reason that I can eat B.A.'s cooking without getting sick. I have a solid titanium stomach. giggle It took a long time for me to feel comfortable around people again, and it wasn't until I met you that I was willing to believe that I really was worth something."
She half turned in his lap and looked him square in the eyes. "You were the one that taught me that I could trust again. You were the only one willing to believe in me, and when that storm broke out over me supposedly being the traitor, you were the only one to stand by my side when everyone else either hated me or thought of me as nothing more than a piece of gutter trash that wasn't fit to be in their company."
She begins to tremble harder and he holds her tighter. "For too long, I've had to put up with people looking down their noses at me because I had to work for every damn thing I had, and they didn't. I am so tired of having to deal with these knives in my back all of the time." She reaches around and wraps her arms around his waist, snuggling her head into his chest. "The day you asked me to go out with you that Friday night, when you found me sitting in my quarters surrounded by all of my personal weapons collection, I lied to you."
"About what? I knew that you weren't being exactly truthful with me, but I decided to let you deal with it yourself and tell me when you were ready to."
"I lied when I said that everything was fine, and that I was just taking stock of what I had in my collection. I really was sitting there contemplating how I was going to do it."
"Do what? I don't understand."
She burrows her head deeper into his chest and closes her eyes as she confesses one of the darkest secrets that she had been keeping for the last few weeks.
"I was going to commit suicide that night. I just hadn't made up my mind how I was going to do it. You saved my life that night. You convinced me that there was something to live for, even though everything that I thought I had was gone. Thank you." Her voice slowly lowers during the last few sentences until she is barely whispering.
"You're most welcome, Widget. I probably wouldn't be here if you had. In the relatively short time that you've been a member of the Joes, you've somehow managed to have gotten under my skin and imprinted yourself on my soul, little one."
He shifts her to a more comfortable position on his lap and reaches for his cell phone in his pocket as it begins to vibrate.
"Hello. pause Yeah, we're okay. pause Okay, that would work. Sure, go ahead and bring them, John, I think we'll spend the night here."
He hangs the phone up and slips his hand around her and up to her chin, gently turning her face to his, and capturing her lips with his in a fiery kiss, bruising her lips with the pressure and passion; branding her as his. After they surface for much needed air, they both feel the treehouse begin to shake as John climbs up and in with his burden. The first thing that appears is a pair of large pizzas. One is a supreme for the guys, and the other is pepperoni and extra cheese for Cadence.
John climbs down the ladder again, and the returns, this time bearing a load of three twelve-packs of cokes. He makes a third trip and comes back with a couple of sleeping bags and pillows.
"John, you didn't have to order a large for me. I can't eat the whole thing by myself," Cadence told him, although she does manage to down three-quarters of it by herself.
The trio manages to chomp their way through both pizzas in record time, and afterwards all three of them are pretty bored. They sit around and talk about all the small things bored people talk about. Suddenly one of them has a brainstorm.
"I know!" said John. "Let's play I Never!"
James looks at Cadie and says, "I'm game."
She reaches over and snags one of the twelve packs, shoving it over to James and pulling another one over to herself. John grabs the third pack of sodas.
"How are we gonna keep count?" James asked.
Cadence reaches over and grabs a small blackboard and a chunk of chalk, drawing a grid on it that they could use for scoring.
"Who's going to start?"
"Well, since you're outnumbered two to one, why don't you go first," John tells her.
She thinks a moment. "Well, let's see. I've never peed standing up."
Both guys groan as they take a sip.
"I've never had to sit down to pee," James replies in revenge.
"Touché," says Cadence, as she takes a sip and puts a mark for herself on the chalkboard.
Both of them look at John. He thinks for a moment.
"I never got caught reading comic books in class."
Both James and Cadence take a sip. Cadence adds a mark for each of them on the blackboard.
Cadence picks up her soda. "I've never slept with anyone because I wanted to."
John takes a sip, while the other two watch with interest.
"I've never gotten caught pulling practical jokes in school. What was her name, John?"
Both John and Cadence take a sip.
"What? The whole class got busted for it. It was the teacher's idea and he's the one who should have been busted, but none of us would rat him out," she explained, glaring back at the two guys looking funny at her.
James shrugged as she marked the blackboard.
John looks sideways at his twin. Both James and Cadence can see the mischievous glint in his eyes. "I never waited until I was in my thirties to bring a girlfriend home for the very first time."
James takes a sip and sticks his tongue out at his twin, as Cadence arches an eyebrow at him.
The game goes on for a while, and when they finally look out of the window, it's gotten dark. John decides that it's time for him to go, and gathers up his things. He climbs down the ladder and heads back to the house, leaving James and Cadence alone.
James unrolls and unzips both sleeping bags, making a sleeping space for them about the size of a full size bed. He strips down to his boxer briefs.
"I hope you don't mind, Widget, but I sleep in my underwear."
"That's okay, James, for a second I thought you were going to say you slept naked. That's when we would have had a problem or two."
"It's not a problem to me, Widget. I just want you to be comfortable. If you need me to sleep with my pants on, I can do that. I just want you to be happy, and damn it, I want to be the man that makes you happy."
Cadence stops untying her boot and looks up at him. "What are you trying to say?"
He falls to his knees in front of her and takes her hand in his. "I'm not very good with words, as you well know, especially when it comes to certain subjects, but what I'm trying to say is I think I'm in love with you."
She looks at him in disbelief. "James, please don't tease me. Don't expect to toy with my emotions and come out of it alive."
He pulls her forcefully into his arms, slamming her hard against his chest, gasping in pain as she hits the bruise on his sternum; the one she left when she collided with and fell on top of him when the bomb went off and knocked them both back and to the ground a few feet away. "I'm not playing with you. You think this is easy for me? I've never before felt like this about any other woman, just you. You scare me so much, Widget. I'm so frightened that I'll do something that will make you go away, to make you leave me."
"James, right here, with you beside me, is where I've always felt safest, most comfortable and most at home, no matter what kind of mood you're in. I normally don't feel very safe or wanted, but when I'm with you, I feel like there is someone who cares about what I feel or think or want. I...I feel like I'm a human." She snuggles into his embrace.
"Oh, honey. I never knew." He starts in surprise. "I just thought of something. Why did you let me kiss you the first time on the plane? Why did you nearly freak out the second time?"
"It wasn't your fault. I remembered one of the instances of rape that had happened when I was a small child. I couldn't have been more than five or six, and I remember that she had hit me upside my head with a cast iron skillet that she had. I asked her what was wrong, didn't she love me, and she gleefully told me that no, she didn't, she never had, that I was just a mistake that I had to be punished for. I don't remember who the man was, but I do remember that he was blond and wore thick glasses, and that he had to hit me hard to get me to submit to him. I do remember though, how I felt afterward, thinking about what she had said about me being a mistake. Between my two younger brothers, she found out she was pregnant with a baby girl, and she went and had an abortion, just because the baby was a female."
"No wonder you react to Short Fuze the way you do. I can promise you, though, little one, that Eric is extremely unlikely to hurt you or any other female. He has too much respect for you." He reaches down and starts untying her other bootlace and gently pulling her boots and socks off, massaging her feet and ankles as he does. She pulls her arms underneath her shirt and takes her bra off, laying it across her boots where James had put them.
"Eric knows why I tend to shy away from him already. I explained to him early on that when I was small that a blond man that wore thick glasses had hurt me deeply and that that was the reason that I was so shy with him. He let me know that he understood, and that's why he's so careful around me. He's never asked me to explain how the guy had hurt me, but he's always tried his best to be the opposite of that man. He's always letting me know when he comes up behind me, and lets me know what he's doing if it is anywhere near me."
He stands up and slides his arms around her, lifting her and carrying her over to the makeshift bed. He gently lays her down and covers her up, reaching over her and pulling his side of the bed down. He stretches over her onto his side of the bed and slides into it, pulling the covers up and gathering her into his arms.
She decides on a course of action and implements it, turning into him and leaning up to kiss him. He is startled, but understands the demons that are driving her and lets her finish what she is doing.
James throws himself into the kiss as Cadence does the same. He knew that she would go to a certain point and then have to stop before her memories would force her to relive all of her inner torment.
As soon as she started pulling away to catch her breath, he broke the kiss. He knew that she didn't need the added strain of a relationship like that with anyone until she had healed more.
Cadence looked at him. "Yep, the rest of the girls were right, the old song is true," she whispered, in awe.
"What old song?" he asked, looking bewildered.
"The Shoop- Shoop song. You know, It's in His Kiss?" she explained.
"Oh, that one. I guess you'd be the one to know in this case."
"I guess I would be," she says settling down into the circle of his arms and closing her eyes, feeling very drowsy almost instantly. They lay like that in companionable silence for a couple of minutes.
"I love you, Widget. For now and always. I'll give you the room you need to survive and maybe to heal, no matter how much you need. I want you in my life, little one. In any capacity that I can get you. Even if it's just having to work with you without touching you," he whispers, thinking that she's asleep and can't hear him.
"James, I want you in my life too," she says drowsily. "And I'm prepared to deal with the consequences of having you close beside me for as long as you want to be there."
"I thought that you didn't really like people. I thought that you would much rather be alone than with anyone else."
"James," she turns over and faces him. "Anyone else is not you. I have to confess, I've had a crush on you since I first came to the unit. Ever since I first saw you streak past us girls after Ripcord while y'all were playing paintball that first day I was there, with the rest of the girls helping me find my way around. I just can't believe the fact that you would want to be with me."
Both of them laugh at the memory of that particular game. At first she had been shocked, but it quickly gave way to amusement as the rest of the girls explained that the game was the way that the men blew off steam when boredom threatened to take over the base, and then they explained HOW the game was played.
"And we're talking about grown men, here, right? Grown men who should know better?" she had asked after the explanation.
"Yep." Lady Jaye had answered, while the rest of the girls agreed.
"Jeez, just my luck to get stuck with the crazy bunch," Cadie had muttered, with the rest of the females agreeing.
That was just seconds before Ripcord had dashed around the corner, without a single stitch on, with Grand Slam not ten yards behind him wearing nothing but a pair of bright red and white gym shorts and a pair of aviators' sunglasses and carrying a paintball gun, firing a shot that splattered hard against Ripcord's buttocks. Every female blushed as they listened to Ripcord's use of foul language in three different languages.
"OOOOOOOOOkay," Cadie had declared. Ripcord had dived behind a row of barrels as Grand Slam came to a halt next to the ladies.
James himself nearly took a shot from Courtney's hidden paintball gun when he stopped to take a closer look at and talk to the newest female recruit. As it was, she narrowly missed his leg and wound up hitting Cadie in the abdomen, dropping her to the ground and cutting off her air intake for a moment or two. He immediately gave up on chasing Ripcord, instead scooping Cadie up in his arms and carrying her to the infirmary so that Lifeline could make sure that she didn't have any internal injuries. It turned out that her stomach was bruised, and part of her kidney, but neither of them was what Lifeline considered life threatening at the time. He told her to take it easy for the next couple of weeks and put her on a liquid diet for the next couple of days or so. James had decided that since it was mostly his fault, he was going to stay with her 24/7 for a couple of days to make sure that she wasn't going to suffer any complications. He was glad he did when she started peeing blood two days later, and once again, someone had carried her into the infirmary, where they had to do emergency surgery to repair some of the damage done because the spot where her kidney was bruised split.
He brushes her cheek with the back of his hand. "Honey, I don't think you need the added strain of a relationship with me right now. You have too much stress in your life as is. I don't want to add to your problems."
She grabs his hand and tenderly kisses his palm. "If you haven't noticed, dear, when I'm with you, I'm more relaxed than I've ever been with anyone or wherever I have been. If you want to have a relationship with me, then I'll go along with it. But only if you're sure."
"I've never been surer of anything in my life, Cadie. I wish that you could be my exclusive girlfriend. Like Taffy is to Tony," he says, leaning over and kissing her. He didn't intend to say that last part, but it slipped out anyway.
"I want to be your exclusive girlfriend, James, if that's what you want me to be," she whispers. He sits up and pulls his pants over to him, reaching in one of the pockets and pulling out a small velvet pouch. He opens it and dumps out a beautiful silver chain with an adorable charm into his hand and fastening it around her neck.
"This chain is a symbol of my love for you, Widget. It means both friendship and relationship. I was looking at getting a gold chain for you, but I decided that the silver one would look best on you. I was right. The butterfly is a symbol of how I see you. Like the butterfly, you appear to be small and fragile, but there's an inner strength and power that you have." He tenderly kisses her and they both snuggle down; she falls asleep almost instantly.
He cradles her in his arms, feeling extremely protective. He thinks over everything that she has revealed to him and he decides on a plan of attack. He is bound and determined to make her family feel all of the pain that she has experienced. She belonged to him now, and he was going to make sure the world knew it. Even the guys on the base wouldn't mess with her once they saw his chain around her neck.
Cadence sleeps deeply, for once having good dreams and not the nightmares that she is accustomed to.
When she awakens, she swiftly opens her eyes, trying to acclimate herself in this strange place. As she snuggles deeper into the blankets, she feels a solid wall behind her back. She reaches around and tentatively feels the mass, unintentionally grabbing his crotch, instantly letting loose as she feels how hard he was. He snorts and moves a little bit. She smiles. He had stayed! It hadn't been a dream after all. Someone actually wanted to be with her. Grand Slam was in love with her! She reached up and touched the unfamiliar weight of the chain and it's charm as they rested on her neck. She realized somewhere deep inside that she was in love with him, too.
Suddenly, a frown creeps over her face. Was she really good enough for him? Would he stand by her side or leave when the opportunity came? Could she handle being involved with someone, or would she constantly let him down?
She shrugs. "I'll think about it tomorrow," and she attempts to go back to sleep.
James slowly opens his eyes and stretches, feeling a smaller body wrapped tightly in his embrace. He stops as he realizes that he had a hard on. "My God, I haven't had a wet dream since I was fifteen. And one night with Cadie in my arms, and I wake up hard as a rock. I hope she doesn't notice. I'd have a hard time explaining this." He looks down into smiling silver-green eyes.
"Good morning, Widget."
"Morning, Sarge."
"Feel up to meeting the rest of the zoo here?" he asks her, jumping up and swiftly pulling his pants on. "Irene's headed this way, probably to get us up."
"Who is Irene?" Cadence queried.
"Oh, that's right. You don't know. Irene's my older sister. She's the eldest of this group with me and John in that order and Sandy is the youngest of the bunch. Let's give them something to talk about, Widget," he says, with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. She smiles and agrees with his unspoken plan as she catches his train of thought.
He sits down on the edge of the sleeping bags and pulls her into his arms, kissing her tenderly as they feel the treehouse begin to shake as Irene comes up the ladder.
James lays Cadence back gently on the sleeping bags and straddles her, kissing her deeply. His pants are still unzipped and unbuttoned, and he doesn't have his shoes or socks or his shirt on, and Cadence has her pants unbuttoned, shirt untucked and pushed up a little, exposing a fair amount of midriff, and she doesn't have shoes or socks on, or a bra for that fact, either. Cadence has her arms wrapped around his neck and her hands play over the muscles on his back and shoulders. She can tell that just this playacting was having an effect on him because of the large, solid bulge she felt on her lower abdomen where he was straddling her. He breaks the kiss, but doesn't look up as Irene's head pops up in the trapdoor.
"Do you have to bother us, Irene? Can't you see we're busy?" he asks, smoothly, winking at Cadence and trying not to laugh.
Irene blushes and tells him, "Mom said that if you two aren't in the kitchen in ten minutes, that you're gonna miss breakfast."
"You had to interrupt us to tell us that? Irene, I thought discretion was a virtue."
"Older sister's privilege to embarrass younger siblings, Jay."
He groans. "Tell Mom that we'll be there in a few."
"Sure thing." She descends the ladder at a high rate of speed, actually running towards the house. "Hey, James," she yells, halfway across the yard. When he sticks his head out of the window in acknowledgement, she finishes her statement. "I'm telling Mom!"
"Go ahead! There's nothing she can do about it! I'm free, white, and over twenty-one! And so is she!"
"That ranks right up there with the question of which is worse, you walking in on your parents or your parents walking in on you," Cadie laughs.
"Well, that worked out well. She'll tell everybody in the house as soon as she gets in there. I swear though, Cadie, if you don't move your hands right this second I won't be responsible for what happens. And the worst is walking in on your parents. That's scary just to think about." Her hands immediately drop and she squirms out from beneath him, getting dressed, tucking her shirt in and pulling her socks and boots on. He crawls over to his side of the sleeping bags and does the same. Both of them pull their jackets on at the same time and Cadie slides her glasses on.
She descends the ladder first, with James hot on her heels. She looks around and takes a deep breath, sighing. He jumps down, missing the last three steps of the ladder and landing right behind her. He wraps his arm around her shoulders and they start off for the house.
"So this is the little Taffy that you've been telling us about?" his mom asks.
"No, ma'am, this is Taffy's weaponsmithing counterpart Cadence, our demolitions expert and weaponsmith hobbyist. I have a lot of fun testing her little toys," James replies. "Taffy is Tony's girlfriend."
"And Cadence is yours," he mom says.
"No ma'am, not exactly. Not that I don't want her to be, but she's had some serious problems in her past that she needs time to resolve, and I want to give her the time she needs to heal before I ask her to be my girlfriend."
"I understand. You're a good man, son. I'm proud of you. She looks to have had a good fight lately, and it looks like she lost."
"No ma'am. She caught the brunt of a bomb blast coming down the hall of the machine shop."
"Oh my goodness, I hope she's okay."
"Well, she has a slight concussion and she's still bruised and battered, but it's nothing that a little time and love won't heal."
As soon as his mom leaves the room, heading for the kitchen to check on the casserole that she was cooking, James shuts the door behind her. He bends over and places a chaste, tender kiss on Cadence's temple.
"I was telling the truth honey. One day when you feel strong enough we'll make it official."
She stirs in her sleep and he draws back against the wall, hoping that he didn't wake her up. She needed to sleep as much as she could. She'd been working herself raw lately, what with the new recruits, and the sabotage going on. She would usually only manage maybe an hour of sleep every night, that is, if she was fortunate. One of the reasons that he had brought her with him was so the rest of the unit could repair her lab in the unused office in the corner of the machine shop, because someone unknown at the moment had bombed it. That, and the fact that he had an idea for a surprise at the Christmas Dance for her. He'd already gotten her Christmas present.
He, Ralph, Chuck, Eric, Tony, Taffy and Courtney had all thrown together to get her an entirely new set of tools because hers had been in her lab when the explosion happened. Chuck had somehow managed to find and get the one thing that Cadie had never been able to find, although she had wanted one for most of her life- a silver point Siamese kitten. They had planned to have it in her quarters when she got back onto the base, with a huge bow tied around its neck. Chuck's wife, Shelby, was helping by getting the kitten housebroken, and the rest of the guys were getting it used to the other animals on the base. Already, it was buddies with Snake Eyes's wolf, Timber.
Personally, he had gotten her a silver necklace with a teardrop shaped pendant that had blue and green swirls in the center. The green just matched her eyes, and the whole set had caught his attention when he was walking through the mall the other day, Christmas shopping for his family.
He knew that she didn't have any family and wasn't really planning on doing anything for the holidays. At least this way, he could keep an eye on her so he could make sure she wouldn't do anything stupid.
As she settles back to the deep sleep that he knew she needed, he scribbles out a note and slides it underneath her glasses on the nightstand, knowing that she would find it, and slipped out the door, leaving it open a crack. He then went downstairs and had a large cup of coffee at the table with the rest of the family, catching up on the latest gossip and everything.
He turns around slowly in his seat when he hears a small noise behind him. Looking towards the stairs, he spots Cadence, shyly, slowly, coming down the stairs. He gets up and dashes over to her, wrapping his arm around her waist. He sees the deer in the headlights look in her eyes, and knows that he has to get her somewhere where they could talk, privately, quickly. He realized somewhere in the back of his mind that she wasn't ready to meet his entire family at once. Her shyness had come to the fore, and one or two people were all she could handle at a time.
He guides her past the doorway, signaling his mother that they would be back later, and outside, into the woods in the backyard and to what looked like an abandoned treehouse. He boosts her up and follows her inside.
James crawls up through the trapdoor and over to the corner, slumping against the wall. Cadence follows him and lets herself be settled onto his lap.
He runs his fingers through her long auburn hair, unbraiding and combing it with his fingers, wondering if he's really ready to find out what Cadence has to say.
"The reason I needed to talk to you is because I need you to know what it's like to be me, James, and to maybe show you why I'm like I am when it comes to dealing with people, why I'm such a loner, and why I'm so terrified of people."
She sighs as he snuggles her closer to him and wraps his jacket around both of them. "What is it, Cadie? What's wrong?"
"To start with, the first item that you have to remember is that letter that I received from that law firm a few months ago. It was a notification that my family was trying to cut all ties with me. They decided that, number one, I was never good enough to be a member of that family, and number two, that they no longer wanted anything to do with me, and they decided to make it legal, finally, and number three, they wanted to wipe me out of existence, which is why I immediately went to talk to Hawk about it when I calmed down. I'm now on my own more than anyone will ever be."
She sighs. "As far back as I can remember, no one in my family wanted me. My father left before I was born and my mother hated me because of it, I guess. She loved my two younger brothers, Daniel and Jacob, though why them and not me, I never figured out. Maybe it was because I was a girl, I really don't know. Daniel's father didn't stick around either, but she married Jacob's dad, and was cheating on him not too long afterwards. She made good and sure that I knew that she or her husbands or boyfriends didn't want me, and she did it so publicly that I had no recourse. I discovered the other day why I always seemed to get sick whenever she would take me to his house with her."
"Why? What was going on?"
Cadence lowers her head in shame as she whispers, "I remembered it, finally. Something triggered my memory. It was because he was using me, James."
"Using you? How?" he asked, actually frightened of the answer that he would receive.
"He was f-f-forcing me to have s-se-s-sex with him." She looks up into his eyes, expecting to see revulsion or pity from him, all the shame and pain that she had held inside for so long threatening to force itself out of her showing in her eyes. All she saw in his eyes was the love and friendly affection that she didn't ever expect to find in her life.
She couldn't help it; she completely let herself go. The tears that she had never allowed herself to let fall forced their way out, and she completely lost control of herself then.
"James," she said, pleadingly, "I was no more than four or five when it started! And after they broke up, mother discovered that men would pay her for time to screw me. She was pimping me out like I was some kind of whore, and there was nothing I could do about it." Pain that she had kept inside all her life, never daring to show anyone, finally was released in a torrent of tears, as she finally felt safe enough to let go of it.
As he felt her tears soak through his shirt, he held her quivering body close to his and could feel himself begin to tremble with rage at how this beautiful, sweet little child had been treated. His blood ran cold as he realized what she was feeling; she wasn't sure that this one man that had befriended her would want to be her friend anymore. She was sure that he was going to throw her away like so many people had done to her in the past.
He only knew that there was nothing that was going to tear him away from her at this point, the only problem being that she didn't know it. Yet. If it took him the rest of his life, he was going to prove to her that she was worth something; that she deserved to be happy and loved. And he was going to be the man that loved her like none other could.
"It went on like that for a couple of years until she decided to sell me to one of the guys living down the street from us for use as a sex slave. By this time, I found myself to be getting craftier and cleverer. I found that I had a knack for making weapons out of just about anything. I was seven when she sold me to him, and ten when she threw me out of the house because he complained that my body was too grown up. It was a few days after my birthday when I found myself on the streets, hanging on by the least little thread. I had to learn to duck, dodge, and skid my way around people, and it was there that I really began to feel the betrayals that would forever color my attitude towards people. I taught myself how to survive, and when I grew old enough to, I joined the military. Easy way to survive, easy pay. It wasn't as hard to survive there as it had been on the streets. There was nothing that they could do to me that I hadn't already survived something worse. I always had a place to sleep and nourishing food, which is the only reason that I can eat B.A.'s cooking without getting sick. I have a solid titanium stomach. giggle It took a long time for me to feel comfortable around people again, and it wasn't until I met you that I was willing to believe that I really was worth something."
She half turned in his lap and looked him square in the eyes. "You were the one that taught me that I could trust again. You were the only one willing to believe in me, and when that storm broke out over me supposedly being the traitor, you were the only one to stand by my side when everyone else either hated me or thought of me as nothing more than a piece of gutter trash that wasn't fit to be in their company."
She begins to tremble harder and he holds her tighter. "For too long, I've had to put up with people looking down their noses at me because I had to work for every damn thing I had, and they didn't. I am so tired of having to deal with these knives in my back all of the time." She reaches around and wraps her arms around his waist, snuggling her head into his chest. "The day you asked me to go out with you that Friday night, when you found me sitting in my quarters surrounded by all of my personal weapons collection, I lied to you."
"About what? I knew that you weren't being exactly truthful with me, but I decided to let you deal with it yourself and tell me when you were ready to."
"I lied when I said that everything was fine, and that I was just taking stock of what I had in my collection. I really was sitting there contemplating how I was going to do it."
"Do what? I don't understand."
She burrows her head deeper into his chest and closes her eyes as she confesses one of the darkest secrets that she had been keeping for the last few weeks.
"I was going to commit suicide that night. I just hadn't made up my mind how I was going to do it. You saved my life that night. You convinced me that there was something to live for, even though everything that I thought I had was gone. Thank you." Her voice slowly lowers during the last few sentences until she is barely whispering.
"You're most welcome, Widget. I probably wouldn't be here if you had. In the relatively short time that you've been a member of the Joes, you've somehow managed to have gotten under my skin and imprinted yourself on my soul, little one."
He shifts her to a more comfortable position on his lap and reaches for his cell phone in his pocket as it begins to vibrate.
"Hello. pause Yeah, we're okay. pause Okay, that would work. Sure, go ahead and bring them, John, I think we'll spend the night here."
He hangs the phone up and slips his hand around her and up to her chin, gently turning her face to his, and capturing her lips with his in a fiery kiss, bruising her lips with the pressure and passion; branding her as his. After they surface for much needed air, they both feel the treehouse begin to shake as John climbs up and in with his burden. The first thing that appears is a pair of large pizzas. One is a supreme for the guys, and the other is pepperoni and extra cheese for Cadence.
John climbs down the ladder again, and the returns, this time bearing a load of three twelve-packs of cokes. He makes a third trip and comes back with a couple of sleeping bags and pillows.
"John, you didn't have to order a large for me. I can't eat the whole thing by myself," Cadence told him, although she does manage to down three-quarters of it by herself.
The trio manages to chomp their way through both pizzas in record time, and afterwards all three of them are pretty bored. They sit around and talk about all the small things bored people talk about. Suddenly one of them has a brainstorm.
"I know!" said John. "Let's play I Never!"
James looks at Cadie and says, "I'm game."
She reaches over and snags one of the twelve packs, shoving it over to James and pulling another one over to herself. John grabs the third pack of sodas.
"How are we gonna keep count?" James asked.
Cadence reaches over and grabs a small blackboard and a chunk of chalk, drawing a grid on it that they could use for scoring.
"Who's going to start?"
"Well, since you're outnumbered two to one, why don't you go first," John tells her.
She thinks a moment. "Well, let's see. I've never peed standing up."
Both guys groan as they take a sip.
"I've never had to sit down to pee," James replies in revenge.
"Touché," says Cadence, as she takes a sip and puts a mark for herself on the chalkboard.
Both of them look at John. He thinks for a moment.
"I never got caught reading comic books in class."
Both James and Cadence take a sip. Cadence adds a mark for each of them on the blackboard.
Cadence picks up her soda. "I've never slept with anyone because I wanted to."
John takes a sip, while the other two watch with interest.
"I've never gotten caught pulling practical jokes in school. What was her name, John?"
Both John and Cadence take a sip.
"What? The whole class got busted for it. It was the teacher's idea and he's the one who should have been busted, but none of us would rat him out," she explained, glaring back at the two guys looking funny at her.
James shrugged as she marked the blackboard.
John looks sideways at his twin. Both James and Cadence can see the mischievous glint in his eyes. "I never waited until I was in my thirties to bring a girlfriend home for the very first time."
James takes a sip and sticks his tongue out at his twin, as Cadence arches an eyebrow at him.
The game goes on for a while, and when they finally look out of the window, it's gotten dark. John decides that it's time for him to go, and gathers up his things. He climbs down the ladder and heads back to the house, leaving James and Cadence alone.
James unrolls and unzips both sleeping bags, making a sleeping space for them about the size of a full size bed. He strips down to his boxer briefs.
"I hope you don't mind, Widget, but I sleep in my underwear."
"That's okay, James, for a second I thought you were going to say you slept naked. That's when we would have had a problem or two."
"It's not a problem to me, Widget. I just want you to be comfortable. If you need me to sleep with my pants on, I can do that. I just want you to be happy, and damn it, I want to be the man that makes you happy."
Cadence stops untying her boot and looks up at him. "What are you trying to say?"
He falls to his knees in front of her and takes her hand in his. "I'm not very good with words, as you well know, especially when it comes to certain subjects, but what I'm trying to say is I think I'm in love with you."
She looks at him in disbelief. "James, please don't tease me. Don't expect to toy with my emotions and come out of it alive."
He pulls her forcefully into his arms, slamming her hard against his chest, gasping in pain as she hits the bruise on his sternum; the one she left when she collided with and fell on top of him when the bomb went off and knocked them both back and to the ground a few feet away. "I'm not playing with you. You think this is easy for me? I've never before felt like this about any other woman, just you. You scare me so much, Widget. I'm so frightened that I'll do something that will make you go away, to make you leave me."
"James, right here, with you beside me, is where I've always felt safest, most comfortable and most at home, no matter what kind of mood you're in. I normally don't feel very safe or wanted, but when I'm with you, I feel like there is someone who cares about what I feel or think or want. I...I feel like I'm a human." She snuggles into his embrace.
"Oh, honey. I never knew." He starts in surprise. "I just thought of something. Why did you let me kiss you the first time on the plane? Why did you nearly freak out the second time?"
"It wasn't your fault. I remembered one of the instances of rape that had happened when I was a small child. I couldn't have been more than five or six, and I remember that she had hit me upside my head with a cast iron skillet that she had. I asked her what was wrong, didn't she love me, and she gleefully told me that no, she didn't, she never had, that I was just a mistake that I had to be punished for. I don't remember who the man was, but I do remember that he was blond and wore thick glasses, and that he had to hit me hard to get me to submit to him. I do remember though, how I felt afterward, thinking about what she had said about me being a mistake. Between my two younger brothers, she found out she was pregnant with a baby girl, and she went and had an abortion, just because the baby was a female."
"No wonder you react to Short Fuze the way you do. I can promise you, though, little one, that Eric is extremely unlikely to hurt you or any other female. He has too much respect for you." He reaches down and starts untying her other bootlace and gently pulling her boots and socks off, massaging her feet and ankles as he does. She pulls her arms underneath her shirt and takes her bra off, laying it across her boots where James had put them.
"Eric knows why I tend to shy away from him already. I explained to him early on that when I was small that a blond man that wore thick glasses had hurt me deeply and that that was the reason that I was so shy with him. He let me know that he understood, and that's why he's so careful around me. He's never asked me to explain how the guy had hurt me, but he's always tried his best to be the opposite of that man. He's always letting me know when he comes up behind me, and lets me know what he's doing if it is anywhere near me."
He stands up and slides his arms around her, lifting her and carrying her over to the makeshift bed. He gently lays her down and covers her up, reaching over her and pulling his side of the bed down. He stretches over her onto his side of the bed and slides into it, pulling the covers up and gathering her into his arms.
She decides on a course of action and implements it, turning into him and leaning up to kiss him. He is startled, but understands the demons that are driving her and lets her finish what she is doing.
James throws himself into the kiss as Cadence does the same. He knew that she would go to a certain point and then have to stop before her memories would force her to relive all of her inner torment.
As soon as she started pulling away to catch her breath, he broke the kiss. He knew that she didn't need the added strain of a relationship like that with anyone until she had healed more.
Cadence looked at him. "Yep, the rest of the girls were right, the old song is true," she whispered, in awe.
"What old song?" he asked, looking bewildered.
"The Shoop- Shoop song. You know, It's in His Kiss?" she explained.
"Oh, that one. I guess you'd be the one to know in this case."
"I guess I would be," she says settling down into the circle of his arms and closing her eyes, feeling very drowsy almost instantly. They lay like that in companionable silence for a couple of minutes.
"I love you, Widget. For now and always. I'll give you the room you need to survive and maybe to heal, no matter how much you need. I want you in my life, little one. In any capacity that I can get you. Even if it's just having to work with you without touching you," he whispers, thinking that she's asleep and can't hear him.
"James, I want you in my life too," she says drowsily. "And I'm prepared to deal with the consequences of having you close beside me for as long as you want to be there."
"I thought that you didn't really like people. I thought that you would much rather be alone than with anyone else."
"James," she turns over and faces him. "Anyone else is not you. I have to confess, I've had a crush on you since I first came to the unit. Ever since I first saw you streak past us girls after Ripcord while y'all were playing paintball that first day I was there, with the rest of the girls helping me find my way around. I just can't believe the fact that you would want to be with me."
Both of them laugh at the memory of that particular game. At first she had been shocked, but it quickly gave way to amusement as the rest of the girls explained that the game was the way that the men blew off steam when boredom threatened to take over the base, and then they explained HOW the game was played.
"And we're talking about grown men, here, right? Grown men who should know better?" she had asked after the explanation.
"Yep." Lady Jaye had answered, while the rest of the girls agreed.
"Jeez, just my luck to get stuck with the crazy bunch," Cadie had muttered, with the rest of the females agreeing.
That was just seconds before Ripcord had dashed around the corner, without a single stitch on, with Grand Slam not ten yards behind him wearing nothing but a pair of bright red and white gym shorts and a pair of aviators' sunglasses and carrying a paintball gun, firing a shot that splattered hard against Ripcord's buttocks. Every female blushed as they listened to Ripcord's use of foul language in three different languages.
"OOOOOOOOOkay," Cadie had declared. Ripcord had dived behind a row of barrels as Grand Slam came to a halt next to the ladies.
James himself nearly took a shot from Courtney's hidden paintball gun when he stopped to take a closer look at and talk to the newest female recruit. As it was, she narrowly missed his leg and wound up hitting Cadie in the abdomen, dropping her to the ground and cutting off her air intake for a moment or two. He immediately gave up on chasing Ripcord, instead scooping Cadie up in his arms and carrying her to the infirmary so that Lifeline could make sure that she didn't have any internal injuries. It turned out that her stomach was bruised, and part of her kidney, but neither of them was what Lifeline considered life threatening at the time. He told her to take it easy for the next couple of weeks and put her on a liquid diet for the next couple of days or so. James had decided that since it was mostly his fault, he was going to stay with her 24/7 for a couple of days to make sure that she wasn't going to suffer any complications. He was glad he did when she started peeing blood two days later, and once again, someone had carried her into the infirmary, where they had to do emergency surgery to repair some of the damage done because the spot where her kidney was bruised split.
He brushes her cheek with the back of his hand. "Honey, I don't think you need the added strain of a relationship with me right now. You have too much stress in your life as is. I don't want to add to your problems."
She grabs his hand and tenderly kisses his palm. "If you haven't noticed, dear, when I'm with you, I'm more relaxed than I've ever been with anyone or wherever I have been. If you want to have a relationship with me, then I'll go along with it. But only if you're sure."
"I've never been surer of anything in my life, Cadie. I wish that you could be my exclusive girlfriend. Like Taffy is to Tony," he says, leaning over and kissing her. He didn't intend to say that last part, but it slipped out anyway.
"I want to be your exclusive girlfriend, James, if that's what you want me to be," she whispers. He sits up and pulls his pants over to him, reaching in one of the pockets and pulling out a small velvet pouch. He opens it and dumps out a beautiful silver chain with an adorable charm into his hand and fastening it around her neck.
"This chain is a symbol of my love for you, Widget. It means both friendship and relationship. I was looking at getting a gold chain for you, but I decided that the silver one would look best on you. I was right. The butterfly is a symbol of how I see you. Like the butterfly, you appear to be small and fragile, but there's an inner strength and power that you have." He tenderly kisses her and they both snuggle down; she falls asleep almost instantly.
He cradles her in his arms, feeling extremely protective. He thinks over everything that she has revealed to him and he decides on a plan of attack. He is bound and determined to make her family feel all of the pain that she has experienced. She belonged to him now, and he was going to make sure the world knew it. Even the guys on the base wouldn't mess with her once they saw his chain around her neck.
Cadence sleeps deeply, for once having good dreams and not the nightmares that she is accustomed to.
When she awakens, she swiftly opens her eyes, trying to acclimate herself in this strange place. As she snuggles deeper into the blankets, she feels a solid wall behind her back. She reaches around and tentatively feels the mass, unintentionally grabbing his crotch, instantly letting loose as she feels how hard he was. He snorts and moves a little bit. She smiles. He had stayed! It hadn't been a dream after all. Someone actually wanted to be with her. Grand Slam was in love with her! She reached up and touched the unfamiliar weight of the chain and it's charm as they rested on her neck. She realized somewhere deep inside that she was in love with him, too.
Suddenly, a frown creeps over her face. Was she really good enough for him? Would he stand by her side or leave when the opportunity came? Could she handle being involved with someone, or would she constantly let him down?
She shrugs. "I'll think about it tomorrow," and she attempts to go back to sleep.
James slowly opens his eyes and stretches, feeling a smaller body wrapped tightly in his embrace. He stops as he realizes that he had a hard on. "My God, I haven't had a wet dream since I was fifteen. And one night with Cadie in my arms, and I wake up hard as a rock. I hope she doesn't notice. I'd have a hard time explaining this." He looks down into smiling silver-green eyes.
"Good morning, Widget."
"Morning, Sarge."
"Feel up to meeting the rest of the zoo here?" he asks her, jumping up and swiftly pulling his pants on. "Irene's headed this way, probably to get us up."
"Who is Irene?" Cadence queried.
"Oh, that's right. You don't know. Irene's my older sister. She's the eldest of this group with me and John in that order and Sandy is the youngest of the bunch. Let's give them something to talk about, Widget," he says, with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. She smiles and agrees with his unspoken plan as she catches his train of thought.
He sits down on the edge of the sleeping bags and pulls her into his arms, kissing her tenderly as they feel the treehouse begin to shake as Irene comes up the ladder.
James lays Cadence back gently on the sleeping bags and straddles her, kissing her deeply. His pants are still unzipped and unbuttoned, and he doesn't have his shoes or socks or his shirt on, and Cadence has her pants unbuttoned, shirt untucked and pushed up a little, exposing a fair amount of midriff, and she doesn't have shoes or socks on, or a bra for that fact, either. Cadence has her arms wrapped around his neck and her hands play over the muscles on his back and shoulders. She can tell that just this playacting was having an effect on him because of the large, solid bulge she felt on her lower abdomen where he was straddling her. He breaks the kiss, but doesn't look up as Irene's head pops up in the trapdoor.
"Do you have to bother us, Irene? Can't you see we're busy?" he asks, smoothly, winking at Cadence and trying not to laugh.
Irene blushes and tells him, "Mom said that if you two aren't in the kitchen in ten minutes, that you're gonna miss breakfast."
"You had to interrupt us to tell us that? Irene, I thought discretion was a virtue."
"Older sister's privilege to embarrass younger siblings, Jay."
He groans. "Tell Mom that we'll be there in a few."
"Sure thing." She descends the ladder at a high rate of speed, actually running towards the house. "Hey, James," she yells, halfway across the yard. When he sticks his head out of the window in acknowledgement, she finishes her statement. "I'm telling Mom!"
"Go ahead! There's nothing she can do about it! I'm free, white, and over twenty-one! And so is she!"
"That ranks right up there with the question of which is worse, you walking in on your parents or your parents walking in on you," Cadie laughs.
"Well, that worked out well. She'll tell everybody in the house as soon as she gets in there. I swear though, Cadie, if you don't move your hands right this second I won't be responsible for what happens. And the worst is walking in on your parents. That's scary just to think about." Her hands immediately drop and she squirms out from beneath him, getting dressed, tucking her shirt in and pulling her socks and boots on. He crawls over to his side of the sleeping bags and does the same. Both of them pull their jackets on at the same time and Cadie slides her glasses on.
She descends the ladder first, with James hot on her heels. She looks around and takes a deep breath, sighing. He jumps down, missing the last three steps of the ladder and landing right behind her. He wraps his arm around her shoulders and they start off for the house.