"Broken Paths"

Short Story for the TV Series "Gilmore Girls"

Written by Sapphira

Disclaimers: I make no claims to the ownership of the rights to Gilmore Girls, in any form. I am gaining no profit in doing this project or any other fanfic, except that which benefits and flatters my author ego… In other words, reviews!!!

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"Welcome To My World…And Watch Your Step…"

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Summary – Rory/Jesse… Slight alternate ending to "Nag Hammadi is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospels"… "If he left her again tonight, she wanted him to feel every step he took away from her like a blow to his gut… because that is exactly what watching him take those steps would do to her."

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Author's Note – Well, this is an unexpected venture of mine… I've been a fan of Gilmore Girls for a long time, but I have never really even thought of writing fanfic for it. But being the Rory/Jesse fan that I am, and after viewing the recent episode, I couldn't seem to help myself. And believe me, I tried… It was only after helplessly scribbling half this darn story down on paper at one in the morning that I conceded defeat out of the necessity for sleep.

Basically it is just a slight AU off of that last scene, in which I put into print what I – and probably the rest of you – would have preferred to see happen than the rather sudden ending we were given after weeks of build-up.

Please review and let me know what you thought once finishing this chapter! Because I am new to this genre, I need to know whether or not people want to see more from me at a later date, after I finish this story. I may write more GG fics, or I may not… But if I know that this story was at least appreciated, then I'll be more inclined to write more for this series in the future… ;o) 

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Chapter One

This was not happening.

Rory watched numbly as Jesse started to move away. His dark eyes bruised with the pain and raw emotion that had revealed itself in the tone of his voice, but then he broke from their locked gazes, and turned away. Revealing the line of his back to her as he began to walk away.

His words echoed in her head with painful clarity. How did he do that? How did he reveal a part of him that she hadn't been expecting to see tonight, and at the same time attempt to push her away? Did he honestly think she was going to let him do that?

She blinked. Coming back to her senses and breaking away from the momentary shock his declaration.

Like hell.

An emotion rose to the surface from within her that she hadn't been expecting to feel tonight. Maybe if she had, she would have been able to shield herself from it. Would have been strong enough to censure her words, and keep her heart in check…But then again, maybe she wouldn't have been able to be the strong one here tonight. Because she had the awful suspicion that it would have only taken those three little words from him to shatter all of her barriers into a million pieces.

At least now when the blow had been unexpected, she was able to roll with it.

At least that is what she told herself.

"How dare you."

Her words made him pause, but he still didn't turn back around to face her. But she didn't care. She was going to try and put into words something that she didn't even think could be expressed in such a way, but she had to try. She wasn't going to let this be easy for him. Not again.

"How dare you say something like that to me, and then just think that you can walk away. It doesn't work that way, Jess. "

He finally turned, and his dark colored eyes met her vivid blue ones. Now burning with the heart of a flame as what she was feeling began to rise to the surface. She was closer now. She couldn't remember taking those steps to shorten the distance separating them, but she had… because he hadn't moved an inch.

She could sense him now. She could feel the heat from his body, and see the way the air that escaped his lungs froze in the night air. She could even smell the lingering imprint on his skin of the soap he had always used, combined with the unique scent that was all him, and a knot formed in her throat and suddenly she couldn't remember what it was that she had wanted to say.

"Is that it?" He finally asked. Breaking the silence. The question meant to sound familiar and cold and unflinching, but the words were hoarse, and he had trouble holding her gaze. He was attempting to pull his shields back up. The very same ones that he had chosen to present to the rest of the world. The same ones that he used to keep people out when he was afraid of getting hurt. The same ones that he must have used in order to leave her the first time.

Well, that was just too damn bad. Hers were already in a million pieces. It just simply wasn't going to be fair to allow him to leave like that again with his still intact.

If he left her again tonight, she wanted him to feel every step he took away from her like a blow to his gut… because that is exactly what watching him take those steps would do to her.

"No, that's not just it. Didn't you hear me earlier? I'm the only one who is allowed to leave here. Me, not you."

Her breath trembled, and fluctuations were heard clearly in her words. Damn it, she was going to start crying. That was unacceptable. She had already cried herself to sleep so many nights that she had finally been forced to seal away every single thought and memory and emotion directly and indirectly connected to Jess under the flow of a new life that she had struggled to begin in Europe, and then had continued upon beginning college at Yale. She had the constant press of that new life, and work, and friends, and commitments to keep her busy every waking second. She wasn't constantly surrounded by the memories of her home town, like she would have been if she had been living there throughout the entire week, which had helped. Some.

She could even go a few hours now without her thoughts straying to him. Sometimes even an entire day… but as soon as the day began to slow down, and night began to set in, those memories rose back up from their graves like the persistent ghosts that they had become, and it would start all over again.

Granted, the pain hadn't been as intense as it had in the beginning, and most of the time she didn't even get teary eyed… but she didn't think that was because she was getting over him. She was just getting used to the pain his leaving had caused.

Like a callous forming over a vulnerable stretch of unprotected skin, her heart was simply trying to protect itself from the ache that would always be there, no matter how many months went by.

So the fact that she was about to start crying was proof how his sudden appearance in her life had managed to viciously cut that protection away, and she could just almost despise him for that and that alone.

She had done everything she could think of to keep from thinking of him for almost over a year. She had all too gratefully allowed herself to become buried by this new life of hers, so that every time anyone asked her how she was doing, she wouldn't even have to so much as hesitate in telling them how great everything was. Even though the time had already come and gone when their questioning her about how she felt was directly related to their well meaning yet incredibly annoying sympathy over Jess leaving her so suddenly.

But it didn't matter what they were thinking when they asked that question now, after all of these months… because all she could think of was how her mind immediately flashed upon Jess, and how her heart responded in kind with a familiar aching jolt every time it thought it had her complete focus.

Or how every time she looked at herself in the mirror, she had to again convince herself all over again that the reason she had cut her hair because it was more manageable this way what with her busy schedule, and that it had been well past time for a change in that arena… and not because even after all that time she could still feel the incredible sensation of his fingers running through it. Fists clenching in all its thickness as he pressed her body into the line of his and kissed her so tenderly. 

How many times had she woken from dreams of him doing just that? How many times had she reached her fingers up to her hair, fully expecting his to still be lingering there?

She could tell herself over and over again how he wasn't worth it. How he didn't deserve her pain. But love wasn't that simple. It wasn't black and white. He had hurt her, cut her deeply when he had left without even so much as a word, because he had been too much of a coward to face her.

But she loved him, and love didn't discriminate. It wasn't its fault if something went wrong. You couldn't blame it, no matter how hard you tried, because the simple truth of it was, leave it up to human nature to totally screw up something so precious for no apparent reason. 

But despite all of that, he still didn't deserve one more tear from her, and she couldn't afford to shed it. So she did the first instinctive thing that came to her mind that she thought just might stop the tears from falling… or at the very least keep him from seeing.

He was standing there in front of her, just mere inches away. There was pain on his face, but also the struggling to distance himself from what was happening. Bracing himself for whatever words that he was so sure were about to come his way. And they deserved to. She deserved the chance to fire off, to tell him what his leaving had done to her. It was her right to hit him with all of her anger, all of her pain, all of her disappointment and confusion… And maybe if she had been thinking clearly, she would have done just that. In the end it probably would have been less painful, and would have provided the potential for more closure later down the road, instead of ripping apart barely healed wounds.

But no… it could never be that simple in her life. She had never been one to take the easy road, even if recently she had come to wish that that wasn't the case.

Before she had a chance to think about it – indeed, before any single thought even had a chance to manifest itself – she reached her hands up to frame the sides of his face, with those oh so familiar features that she had traced with her fingertips dozens of times physically, and thousands of times mentally… and she saw the knowledge bloom in his eyes so close to hers. Knew that he realized what she about to do, and she could feel the protest forming as his body tensed in preparation to stop her. To keep it from happening.

But she wasn't going to back down. She wasn't going to hesitate or allow herself to over-analyze, despite her peculiar habit to do just that in almost every aspect of her life.

He should have known that this was going to happen sooner or later. He should have remembered how just incredibly unpredictable she could be sometimes, even to herself.

And he should have remembered just how incredibly potent their chemistry was as it arced between them. The way it had always been between them, even back when they had been trying to fight it. Alright, when she had been trying to fight it…

But it was hard to recall the absolute force of it, even for her… because for her – and for surely him as well – the memory didn't come close to the actuality of it.

It was like seeing a painting of a sunset or a snapshot of a jungle… nothing really came close to the real thing, no matter how impressive they might have been in their own ways.

But if the memory of what it had been like between them before was impressive, then having it actually happening again now was shattering.

But there wasn't any time to think about that. Indeed, there wasn't any time to think or feel, or to resist or doubt at all… as she unerringly brought his lips down hard upon hers. 

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So what did you think? Did you like it? Do you want to find out what happens next???

Review, and I'll post the next part… (evil chuckle)