More Commitments: Chapter 2
To say the least, I ran. I ran and ran. It seemed as if that was all I knew and had been born for. I was calling out Jake's name. My mouth was like a cannon. I was just shooting out, "Jake, Jake, Jake!" Tears were running down my face. Half the tears were from dust stinging my eyes, and the other half was from fear. My worst fears were being realized. My worst fear was being utterly, finally alone. You see, the other Animorphs and I never talked anymore. Sure, there were attempts at conversation, but we knew what each other had done. We couldn't look at each other without going through a list of atrocities. Jake looked at me and he saw what I had done with the morphing cube, the single biggest mistake of the war. However, I at least had the audience of living, breathing minds. I remember going out and doing normal things with the others. We made a point of doing that. However, at this time, there was no point to be made. We couldn't come up with a sufficient argument for doing normal things. We were not normal. Now, I was out in the cold, harsh city and nobody knew nor cared where I was.
Ever since the single, biggest mistake, Jake's emotions have been shallow and casual. He was too ready to display happiness, or sadness. The way he would show that he wanted to sleep with me was grabbing my hand and dragging me to the bedroom. Well, it wasn't a bedroom. It was a room with some blankets tossed around. Then, he would go through a big, long "I've missed you, I love you" routine. It was exactly the same every time. One minute, deep sullenness, then the next minute was happiness with a goofy, glazed over look. He would pretend he was in love and in a fairy tale. He would pretend that everything was okay. He has to know that I can see right through that. However, he was willing to protect me, or so I thought, so why not please him. Protection was hard to find in this Hell on Earth.
Right now, however, I was not being protected. After what seemed like an eternity of running, Jake was still nowhere to be seen. I was still crying out for him, even though it was only a whisper. I stopped, realizing that there was no more dust or very little dust. I didn't know where I was. I moved over to an alleyway, and slowly morphed to my bird form. I flew around for about an hour before finding my "home". I figured everybody would congregate there. I wanted to think that they would be worried about me, but that was pushing the limits of wishful thinking. I was reaching the building pretty fast. I found an open window and dashed in.
I was shocked at what I saw. Jake was laying there in our tossed around blankets. He wasn't worried. He was sitting there giggling. He was giggling like a middle-schooler when one hears the word "sex". He saw me fly in and start laughing hysterically.
"Hey, wittle birdie! What's your name?"
Jake, what wrong?
He started convulsing with laughter. He rolled over and got up.
"Hey, Jake. That's my name too. I never heard of the last name though. But it's funny as hell!" Suddenly, he left the room.
I morphed to my human form. More tears. What was Jake doing? He never acted like this. His demeanor was more fake than ever. I was speechless. I should go after him but I didn't know what good I could do. I went over to throw myself on the blankets. When I landed I noticed a lump in the mess. I rolled over, and moved the blankets. The lump was a Ziploc bag. It had a white powder in it. I knew it wasn't sugar.
I looked around the room. I don't know why, maybe for a miracle. I didn't find one. I did find a metal lid. It was sitting in a corner of the room. There was a hole there. I guess that is where he hid it. This metal lid had line of the powder going across it. By it, there was a small straw looking thing. I ran out of the room to find Jake. He was a few doors down twirling about.
He was literally twirling. Spinning. Making himself dizzy.
"Oh, hey, Cassie! How are you? Nice to see you made it. Come with me." He grabbed my hand. He led me back to the bedroom. That can only mean one thing.
"Jake. Wait a minute!" He had started kissing me. I could feel the standard bulge in his pants.
"Oh, Cassie. I'm so glad you made it back because I've always wanted to try it high."
"Jake! What's wrong with you? I nearly died. Something happened at the WTC, just as I was coming out. I couldn't find you anywhere. I was scared that you were dead. Then, I come here and find you out of your ever-loving mind."
"Oh. I'm sorry. I just dropped the bomb. I figured, what the hell did it matter if went off here or there."
"Yeah, I noticed. However, you didn't tell me you did it! I barely got out alive. I found my way here and I find cocaine under a blanket and utensils in a hole in the wall. Where did you get the money to buy all that stuff? Why would think of doing such a stupid thing?"
"What are you saying, Cassie? Cocaine is wrong? Well, I don't know, if feels alright to me. Where do you get off saying this is wrong and this isn't? I'm sick and tired of it, Cassie. I could care less if whatever is right or wrong. Who made these rules, Cassie? As far as I know, other people made those rules. People with absolutely no authority in my life! It's like a three-year-old telling another three-year-old not to touch the hot stove!"
He had obviously rehearsed this. There is no way a person in his state could think like that. It was sad, though, because he was right. I had no authority to tell any of my friends what was morally acceptable.
"You want to know how I got it?" He asked. I just looked at him.
"I take out the drug dealers. I morph falcon and dive bomb them."
"Jake? NO!"
Right then, Jake did something he had never done to me before. He slapped me. He backhanded me across the face. I was on the ground in no time. He gave a little grunt and went on his own way.
I gathered myself and moved over to the blankets. I rested the normal side of my face on the blankets and cried. I cried for hours, it seemed like. I cried because of the pain, the betrayal, the uncertainty of the future. I cried because my fear had come true. I was alone.
I woke up from a sleepless slumber. I looked around and figured it was about six o'clock in the evening. I just now realized that I hadn't seen the others all day. I began to get worried. The mission was not the easiest one. Maybe one of the others did the same thing Jake did. Maybe one of them committed suicide. They were dead. I had to face it. Maybe the bombs had gone off early. Or the bio-filters came on-line unexpectedly.
Jake came in a half-hour later. He had some bottles of Coke and twenty chicken nuggets from McDonald's. He sat down next to where I was lying. I was faking sleep. I was afraid he was still angry. He gently moved the hair out of my face, and put his hand on my cheek. I winced a little.
"Cassie? Are you awake? I'm sorry about earlier. I was high out of my mind."
I stirred. I made it appear as if I had just woken up.
"Jake, have you seen the others?"
A/N: More angst, more drama. I didn't know it was so easy to write. This is going to be really, really long. *sits and cries*