Title: A Gundam Wing Christmas Carol
Authors: Orasa Nekuma
Archive: I'm on Fanfiction.net, author name's Orasa...other than that…none, right now (unless you count the ML archive)...if ya wanna archive it, go for it, but email first.
Warnings: AU (no EW), yaoi, angst, blood, bit of OOC perhaps, language, bit of weirdness/supernatural stuff.
Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any of the kawaii characters from it *dammit*. I also don't own Charles' Dickens A Christmas Carol...I do, however own my character, Casi.
Pairings: Just wait and see…
Note: This takes place sometime during the war. It's the Christmas after the one that was shown in EW, just without the EW. Amazingly, all the pilots are together at one safehouse for Christmas. In this fic, Duo has an older sister, Casi, who is also a pilot. Oh yea…this isn't EXACTLY like the original story, but I got the idea from it sooo…yea, anywayz, on to the fic now! ^.^
//blah blah//= private thoughts
"blah blah"= spoken words
~*~*~*~*~= time interval or location change
(1), (2), etc.=note at end
"Heero," Casi said, breaking into his thoughts.
"What?" Heero grunted, sitting on the shoulder of his Gundam as he made repairs to the huge machine.
Casi pointed toward Heero's laptop, which was beeping insistently. "You've got mail!" she chirped brightly and then giggled.
Heero rolled his eyes and jumped down to check his mail, hoping it wasn't a mission. //Sometimes she reminds me a bit too much of Duo…// As he pulled up the message, his mouth tightened into a thin line as he saw who it was from. Without even looking at it, he hit 'delete' and then turned to Casi, who was watching over his shoulder. "You can tell your little brother to leave me alone," he told her savagely. "I don't feel like answering his meaningless messages."
Casi's eyes flashed with suppressed anger, but she said calmly, "Why don't you just admit your feelings for him, Heero?"
Heero gave her the death glare. "I have no feelings for that baka." Then he vaulted back up to where he'd been working, ignoring Casi's further protests. //How could I ever like Duo? I mean, he is sweet and beautiful and sometimes even funny and—wait! What am I THINKING?! No, there is no way I like Duo…//
Suddenly, Casi broke into his thoughts again. "Well, I'm gonna head on back to the house, 'k Heero?" Heero just grunted. "Heero," Casi said. "You DO know that it's Christmas Eve, right?" Another grunt. "And you are NOT going to stay out here all night repairing Wing, right?" Heero looked down at her. "RIGHT?"
"Sure, whatever," Heero said.
"Well…ok then. Night!" Casi called as she pulled on her coat and headed out of the hangar. Heero's only reaction was to go back to working on his Gundam.
Hours later, Heero was finally stumbling toward the house in search of a bed and sleep. As he reached to open the door, the antique brass knocker on the door seemed to swirl and form the face of one of his old enemies, Treize Kushrenada. Heero blinked and shook his head and when he looked again, the knocker was normal. //Casi's right. I really don't need to stay up working so late. I'm starting to hallucinate…// He pulled open the door and managed to make it to the couch in the living room before he collapsed.
He awoke with a start when the grandfather clock in the hall started to chime the hour. He shook his head to clear it of sleep and started to head up the stairs to his room. But then he saw it. Treize was standing at the foot of the stairs, blocking the way. His body was surrounded by a strange, red light and his eyes appeared to be tortured and haunted. There were also old tearstains on his cheeks. "Treize?" Heero asked a little uncertainly, while reaching behind his back for his gun.
Treize stretched a hand out toward him and his whole body froze and wouldn't move. Heero growled softly and strained against whatever was holding him. "You must listen to me, Heero Yuy," Treize said. Even his voice sounded sad and strained, as if he hadn't used it for a long time, except to sob in anguish.
"Why should I?" asked Heero, still struggling against his invisible bonds.
"Because if you don't, you will end up just like me. You will die alone, without ever knowing love," Treize answered, his voice cracking when he said 'alone' and 'love'. "You refuse to admit your love, just as I did. It's too late for me, but not for you."
"What the fuck are you talking about, Treize?" Heero asked. Treize's little speech was hitting a bit close to home.
Suddenly, Treize's body started to fade. "Listen to me, Heero!" he called as parts of his body began to disappear. "Three spirits will visit you tonight…you must listen to them as well. They are your only hope. Only by heeding their advice can you save yourself." His last words were so soft Heero could barely hear them, "And the one you love…"
"Wait!" Heero called, abruptly overcome with something very close to panic. "Wait, please tell me—" Then he trailed off as he saw that Treize was gone. Then he realized what he must have sounded like and mentally slapped himself. //Baka…why do you care about him?// It didn't occur to Heero that he had known exactly who Treize was talking about when he had said 'the one you love'. Heero stood there for another moment, lost in thought, and then he went upstairs and climbed into his cold, empty bed. He picked up the glass of water beside the bed and took a sip before tapping the base of his lamp to turn it off (1). Once the soft yellow light faded, he was almost instantly asleep.
~*~*~*~*~
He blinked his eyes open to find the entire room awash in a strange bluish glow. He sat up groggily and looked around for the source of the light. When he located it, his eyes grew wide with astonishment. Quatre was sitting in the corner chair, looking at him with his usual expression of concern and friendship. But that wasn't the surprising thing…Quatre's entire body was made up of light blue semi-transparent light. Only his aqua-blue eyes remained the same as Heero was used to. "Quatre?" Heero asked.
The apparition shook its head, "No, Heero. I may look like your friend Quatre, but I'm not him. I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past." Heero just glared at the thing. "What, no reaction? Most people I visit have SOMETHING to say to me…oh well." The ghost went over to the window and opened it with a touch to the glass. Cold air swirled in, but Heero still didn't react. //What did that baka put in my water THIS time…?// The ghost gave him a look of surprise. "Ahh, there's the reaction…delayed, but there. Duo didn't drug your water, Heero. I'm real, and what I'm going to show and tell you is important." Ghost-Quatre then stepped out the window and floated out into the cold air, reaching out a hand toward Heero. "Come on, let's go."
"No," Heero said.
Quatre sighed. "Fine, then we'll do this the hard way." His eyes grew colder and Heero felt his body lift from the bed and go slowly over to where Quatre was. He fought the whole way, but in the end, he still did the ghost's will. "Now will you come?" Quatre asked, sounding a bit annoyed. "I can do this the whole way, but I'd prefer not to." Seeing how powerless he was, Heero nodded reluctantly, and control of his body was returned to him. He took Quatre's proffered hand and immediately, he too was floating outside the window. Quatre smiled at him and said, "Hold on, here we go!" Then he sped off into the star-studded sky, dragging Heero along behind him.
When they finally landed, Heero looked around to see snow everywhere. It was on all the buildings and it covered the ground and streets. The streets themselves were lined on both sides by small shops selling a variety of items, all decorated in the Christmas spirit. "Where are we?" Heero asked.
Quatre just smiled. "Wait and see…you'll know soon enough."
Heero shrugged and stood there, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly, a familiar voice broke the stillness. "Heero!!" Heero looked up to see Duo bouncing out of one of the stores. //Now I know where we are. This is last Christmas…the one Duo and I spent on Earth…// Last Christmas, the two pilots had just happened to be in the same school and they were out on Christmas break. Duo had been begging Heero to take him shopping for days and Heero had finally agreed, just to get the baka off his back. The Quatre-ghost standing slightly behind him smiled as he read Heero's thoughts.
"Heero!!!" Duo called again and ran straight toward him.
Heero took a small step forward and said, "Duo, please don't—" Then he trailed off as Duo ran right by him. He turned to follow the braided boy's progress and saw him run up to…himself. He stared.
Quatre laughed. "Heero, these are only shades of the past. They can't see or hear us." Heero stared a moment more, then nodded in understanding and continued watching the scene.
"Duo," the past Heero said, "please don't yell like that. It could compromise our security, baka."
"Who cares, we're on vacation!" Duo yelled happily.
Past-Heero gave him a glare and said, "Not anymore. While you were inside, we got another mission." Duo's face instantly fell, but then he was immediately smiling and happy again as they walked off. Or at least he was acting happy.
"Did you see it?" Quatre asked softly. Heero nodded slowly. He hadn't seen it before, when it actually happened, but now he had.
"Yes," he said, feeling himself compelled to speak what he was thinking. "Duo was truly happy when he was shopping. Once I told him we had a mission, he grew sad, but he hid it behind a mask of happiness."
Quatre nodded sadly. "He wears that mask all the time, Heero. You are the only one he ever takes it off around, except for his sister." Heero started to say something, but Quatre held up a hand to stop him. "It's almost time for me to go. Remember what you saw." Then his body and the scene around them started to fade. "Good-bye, Heero," the Ghost said, as it faded completely away, leaving Heero alone back in his bedroom. Heero stared out the once more closed window for a moment, then went over to the bed and lay down. He was almost instantly asleep.
~*~*~*~*~
When he woke, it was to see another glowing light spread throughout his room. But this time the strange light was green. He sighed and looked around for the source…it didn't surprise him as much now, having been through it once. So when he saw that the source of this light was a Trowa look-a-like, he didn't waste time asking questions. He just said, "Spirit, show me what I must see."
The Trowa-ghost gave him a small smile. "Quatre had the hard job, didn't he? Convincing you to listen, that is."
Heero just glared at him. He was tired of this little game. "Could we just get this over with so I can actually get some sleep tonight?"
Trowa quirked an eyebrow calmly. "Testy, aren't we? Let me introduce myself." Trowa gave him a circus bow and said, "I am the Ghost of Christmas Present…but you can call me Trowa if you want, since I look like him." Heero gave him another glare. Trowa sighed. "All right, fine, be that way. Let's go." Then he grabbed Heero's hand and the two faded from view…
To appear in Duo's room. Heero looked around, seeing Duo sitting over at his laptop. "What are we doing here?" he asked.
"Just watch," Trowa replied. Heero folded his arms over his chest, but did as he was told.
Duo typed something on the keypad and watched as a message box came up on the screen. "Message Deleted."
"Dammit!" Duo growled as he closed the box and opened another window. "Why the fuck can't he just—" Duo started but then he was interrupted by a knock on the door.
"Duo?" Casi's voice came from outside the door. "Can I come in?"
"Sure," Duo said and got up to open the door. As he went to the door, Heero could see that his face looked haggard and worn, not at all like the face he usually saw on Duo. Then Duo's mask came up again as he opened the door to let his big sister in.
"Oh, Duo…" Casi said. She could always tell when he had his mask on…his eyes usually revealed his true feelings to those who cared to look. "Duo, you don't have to pretend with me."
Duo's shoulders slumped and his face crumpled as he said, "I know Casi. It's just…well, it's a habit."
"I know," Casi said softly. Then Duo slowly leaned toward her and she enfolded him in her arms as a small tear rolled down his face. "Shh…" she said, "Shh…it's ok. I know you love him and I know he's a bastard for not admitting that he loves you too."
"But…does he really love me?" Duo said softly as he pulled away to search her face.
"I really don't know," his sister said honestly, shaking her head slowly. //But if he doesn't…// she thought, and Heero was surprised he could hear her thoughts, //I really fear for you, little brother. I don't know what you'll do to yourself if…//
Heero struggled to remain emotionless, but the ghost must have seen the momentary panic flit across his face. "You see, you do care about him," Trowa said. Heero shot him a glare, but Trowa just looked at him. "I'm warning you Heero…Casi's closer to the truth than she knows…I must be going now."
Heero stared at the fading Trowa, then he called, "No wait! What do you mean? What will happen if—"
"Good-bye, Heero," Trowa called as he faded away.
"Wait!" Heero called, lunging toward the elusive spirit. But Trowa was gone and Heero only fell to the floor in the now totally black landscape.
~*~*~*~*~
Then another spirit slowly took form in front of him. Heero got up slowly, his eyes following this spirit's form as he stood. This one was dressed in a long, black cloak and brought no glowing light with it. Just before Heero straightened, he thought he caught a glimpse of the spirit's face…a shock of long, white bangs falling over ice-blue eyes. "Milliardo?" Heero asked. But the spirit just stood there. Then it pointed past Heero with a long, thin, black-gloved finger.
Heero turned to see a small room that looked like it was approaching them through the gloom. As it grew closer, Heero recognized it as the bathroom he and Duo shared. And then it was right in front of them, but they were outside of it, like an unbreakable glass wall separated them from the figure inside the room. The figure was Duo. He was sitting on the floor leaning against the tub, with his head down on his chest. His hair was free of its normal braid, its tangled strands falling across his face and most of his body.
Then he raised his head slowly and it seemed as if he looked straight into Heero's eyes. "Heero…" he said. Heero swallowed nervously. "Heero, why couldn't you love me?" Duo asked. Then he laughed manically and said, "I know why. I'm not good enough for you, am I? I'm just a lonely street rat, a 'hindrance to the mission,' an annoying baka you'd be glad to be rid of…well, now I'm gonna do your job for you." Then he raised his hand and Heero saw the gleaming razor blade held between Duo's shaking fingers.
"Duo…" he whispered, "no…." But there was nothing he could do. He was forced to watch helplessly. Duo watched his hand in fascination as he raised the razor blade to his other wrist and slashed his arm open from wrist to elbow. Then he switched hands and did his other arm. He performed the act almost with reverence, as if it were a sacred ritual, special only to him.
He dropped the crimson-stained blade on the floor beside him as the blood began to flow freely from his arms. "Good-bye, Heero," he said, smiling his trademark baka-grin as his life-blood pumped out of him. Heero's eye caught the clock on the wall of the bathroom and he saw that its half blue-half purple glowing cells said 'Christmas Day, AC 197, 10:00 AM (2).'
Suddenly, someone started pounding on the bathroom door. "DUO!!" Casi yelled. "Duo, open this door right now!! You had better not be doing something stupid in there! DUO!!!" Then she was joined by other voices.
Quatre's frantic pleading. "Duo, please! Please don't do anything, I'll talk to him, to you…no, Duo PLEASE!!" Then came a muffled thud as Quatre fell against the door but was then caught by Trowa before he could fall any farther (3).
Now Trowa's calm voice. "Duo, this is not the answer. There are other ways to—"
Interrupted by Wufei. "MAXWELL!! If you have done something stupid, I SWEAR I will deface Shinigami with Chinese characters that say Nataku kicks Shinigami's ass!"
A bit of a real smile crept into Duo's fake grin. //Desperate, aren't we, Wu? Well, it's too late now. Sorry guys…// Then the smile on his face froze as Death's cold grip closed around the self-styled Shinigami. Seconds later, the door burst inward thanks to multiple kicks from Trowa and Wufei. Casi slowly went over to her brother's still form. "Oh, Duo…" she said softly, tears running down her face.
Heero looked on, horrified, as each person mourned Duo's tragic death in their own way. "No…" he whispered. "NO! Duo…" And then, amazingly, a single tear cut its hot way down his cheek. //I see it now. I was the baka, not him, never him. I really DO love him…please…oh no, he can't be dead…Duo…no…//
A gentle, black-gloved finger caught the tear as it started to fall off his chin. "So," Milliardo's soft tenor came to his ears. "You finally see your true feelings. What will you do now, Heero?"
Heero looked up at the taller man. "Can I change this? Do I still have time?" Milliardo nodded, smiling softly, and swept a hand in front of Heero's face.
~*~*~*~*~
Heero blinked and he was back in his own bed. He sat up and looked at the blue-glowing clock beside his bed. 'Christmas Day, AC 197, 9:30 AM.' He sighed in relief. //I still have time. I can still stop him…where is he?// Heero jumped out of bed and headed for the bathroom door…only to find it locked. //No…he…he's already locked himself in…// "Duo?" he called. There was no answer. Heero started to get a little nervous. "Duo, I know you're in there. Are you alright?" he asked louder.
There was nothing for a few more minutes. Heero anxiously glanced at the clock. 'Christmas Day, AC 197, 9:50 AM.' Finally, "Why should you care?" came Duo's muffled voice. Heero nearly collapsed on the floor in relief.
"Duo," he said then, knowing he would have to be very careful now. "Please come out."
"Why?" came Duo's voice, followed by a muffled sob.
"Because we need to talk," Heero answered, praying to whatever gods there were that that was the right thing to say. It must have been, because, a few minutes later, the door cracked open to reveal Duo's puffy and red face. Duo's tear-filled violet eyes stared into Heero's Prussian blue orbs.
"About what?" Duo asked, an odd note in his voice. When Heero just stared for a second, he started to close the door again, but Heero wedged his foot and then fingers into the small crack before the door closed all the way. He got his fingertips squished a little, but he managed to pry the door back open. When he had it open enough, he wrenched the barrier out of Duo's grasp and grabbed the longhaired pilot, pulling him into the room with him.
Then Heero slowly brushed Duo's hair out of his face and leaned down to kiss him thoroughly. "About us," he said as he broke the kiss. Then he stared as a smile, a real smile, spread across Duo's face just before he was glomped hard enough to throw the two across the room and onto the bed. The bed where they proceeded to 'talk' for the next few hours, without being disturbed by anyone. This was because Casi had happened to be walking by the door when Heero pulled Duo out of the bathroom and was now guarding their door…as well as trying to find a way around Heero's 'fool-proof' lock system…
~Owari~
(1)=There really are lamps like that, my Papa has one, but it doesn't work anymore for some reason. I think they're really neat, so that's why Heero's lamp is like that. ^.^
(2)=Something I made up for this fic. I'm thinking it's like a digital clock, but it shows all that at once, with the date at the top and the time underneath. And the person can have the numbers and letters glow whatever color they want. Koolies, ne? ^.^
***Some of my fav quotes...***
"None of us fears death...Life is a dream from which we all must wake before we can dream again." (Wise One Amys to Aes Sedai Moiraine; The Fires of Heaven by Robert Jordan)
"Time is a room where all the doors are exits." (Mrs. Sims, my English teacher; original source unknown)
"Duo! Bad! Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts. He is standing there like he wants to kill you, and you're thinking about peeling his clothes off and making him moan? BAD DUO!" (Duo to himself about Heero; chapter 3 of The Vampire Heero by Lady Firen)
"Death rides on my shoulder. Death walks in my footsteps. I am death." (Lews Therin to Rand al'Thor; Lord of Chaos by Robert Jordan)
"Duty is heavier than a mountain, death lighter than a feather." (Rand al'Thor; several Robert Jordan books in the Wheel of Time series)
"'...Fear me, for I am Duo Maxwell, rightwise born the true Shinigami! Crusher of pride, both false and true! Destroyer of egos that dare to cross my path! The End of your pitiful existence and the Bringer of Hell! Tremble in my shadow, mere mortal, for thy Doom is at hand and Shinigami knows no mercy! I hold thy very soul in my fist and I shalt crush it like the worthless weakling egg it is! FEAR ME!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!'
'Allah, why do you plague me so?!' Clutching his chest dramatically, Quatre pretended to fall to his knees in despair. 'I face the demon Shinigami and thou doest leave me all alone! Do not forsake me, Great One, but come to my aid to help me do battle with him and emerge victorious! I shall not lose to the One of Braided Hair! I, a lowly mortal, must face him alone and do beseech divine aid so that I may live to see yet another day and also to crush my enemy beneath my booted heel! My sacred quest shall succeed!'" (convo between Duo and Quatre; chapter 5 of A Way to Heal by Lady DarkAngel)
"I was brought out of my lust filled haze by a tortured cry from Quatre. 'He's stretched already Heero, now get him over here so I can jump him!' I stopped, startled at the demand from the normally easygoing boy. 'Please.' He added curtly, and Duo burst into chuckles..." (Heero's POV; part 7b of Stealing Duo by The Wordsmith)
..............................................................
Keeper of Chibi Duo's Shinigami doll.
Keeper of Chibi Heero's GI Joe doll.
Member of the Evil Chaotic Elf Posse.
Supporter of Quatre as the leader of the Gundam pilots.
Authors: Orasa Nekuma
Archive: I'm on Fanfiction.net, author name's Orasa...other than that…none, right now (unless you count the ML archive)...if ya wanna archive it, go for it, but email first.
Warnings: AU (no EW), yaoi, angst, blood, bit of OOC perhaps, language, bit of weirdness/supernatural stuff.
Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any of the kawaii characters from it *dammit*. I also don't own Charles' Dickens A Christmas Carol...I do, however own my character, Casi.
Pairings: Just wait and see…
Note: This takes place sometime during the war. It's the Christmas after the one that was shown in EW, just without the EW. Amazingly, all the pilots are together at one safehouse for Christmas. In this fic, Duo has an older sister, Casi, who is also a pilot. Oh yea…this isn't EXACTLY like the original story, but I got the idea from it sooo…yea, anywayz, on to the fic now! ^.^
//blah blah//= private thoughts
"blah blah"= spoken words
~*~*~*~*~= time interval or location change
(1), (2), etc.=note at end
"Heero," Casi said, breaking into his thoughts.
"What?" Heero grunted, sitting on the shoulder of his Gundam as he made repairs to the huge machine.
Casi pointed toward Heero's laptop, which was beeping insistently. "You've got mail!" she chirped brightly and then giggled.
Heero rolled his eyes and jumped down to check his mail, hoping it wasn't a mission. //Sometimes she reminds me a bit too much of Duo…// As he pulled up the message, his mouth tightened into a thin line as he saw who it was from. Without even looking at it, he hit 'delete' and then turned to Casi, who was watching over his shoulder. "You can tell your little brother to leave me alone," he told her savagely. "I don't feel like answering his meaningless messages."
Casi's eyes flashed with suppressed anger, but she said calmly, "Why don't you just admit your feelings for him, Heero?"
Heero gave her the death glare. "I have no feelings for that baka." Then he vaulted back up to where he'd been working, ignoring Casi's further protests. //How could I ever like Duo? I mean, he is sweet and beautiful and sometimes even funny and—wait! What am I THINKING?! No, there is no way I like Duo…//
Suddenly, Casi broke into his thoughts again. "Well, I'm gonna head on back to the house, 'k Heero?" Heero just grunted. "Heero," Casi said. "You DO know that it's Christmas Eve, right?" Another grunt. "And you are NOT going to stay out here all night repairing Wing, right?" Heero looked down at her. "RIGHT?"
"Sure, whatever," Heero said.
"Well…ok then. Night!" Casi called as she pulled on her coat and headed out of the hangar. Heero's only reaction was to go back to working on his Gundam.
Hours later, Heero was finally stumbling toward the house in search of a bed and sleep. As he reached to open the door, the antique brass knocker on the door seemed to swirl and form the face of one of his old enemies, Treize Kushrenada. Heero blinked and shook his head and when he looked again, the knocker was normal. //Casi's right. I really don't need to stay up working so late. I'm starting to hallucinate…// He pulled open the door and managed to make it to the couch in the living room before he collapsed.
He awoke with a start when the grandfather clock in the hall started to chime the hour. He shook his head to clear it of sleep and started to head up the stairs to his room. But then he saw it. Treize was standing at the foot of the stairs, blocking the way. His body was surrounded by a strange, red light and his eyes appeared to be tortured and haunted. There were also old tearstains on his cheeks. "Treize?" Heero asked a little uncertainly, while reaching behind his back for his gun.
Treize stretched a hand out toward him and his whole body froze and wouldn't move. Heero growled softly and strained against whatever was holding him. "You must listen to me, Heero Yuy," Treize said. Even his voice sounded sad and strained, as if he hadn't used it for a long time, except to sob in anguish.
"Why should I?" asked Heero, still struggling against his invisible bonds.
"Because if you don't, you will end up just like me. You will die alone, without ever knowing love," Treize answered, his voice cracking when he said 'alone' and 'love'. "You refuse to admit your love, just as I did. It's too late for me, but not for you."
"What the fuck are you talking about, Treize?" Heero asked. Treize's little speech was hitting a bit close to home.
Suddenly, Treize's body started to fade. "Listen to me, Heero!" he called as parts of his body began to disappear. "Three spirits will visit you tonight…you must listen to them as well. They are your only hope. Only by heeding their advice can you save yourself." His last words were so soft Heero could barely hear them, "And the one you love…"
"Wait!" Heero called, abruptly overcome with something very close to panic. "Wait, please tell me—" Then he trailed off as he saw that Treize was gone. Then he realized what he must have sounded like and mentally slapped himself. //Baka…why do you care about him?// It didn't occur to Heero that he had known exactly who Treize was talking about when he had said 'the one you love'. Heero stood there for another moment, lost in thought, and then he went upstairs and climbed into his cold, empty bed. He picked up the glass of water beside the bed and took a sip before tapping the base of his lamp to turn it off (1). Once the soft yellow light faded, he was almost instantly asleep.
~*~*~*~*~
He blinked his eyes open to find the entire room awash in a strange bluish glow. He sat up groggily and looked around for the source of the light. When he located it, his eyes grew wide with astonishment. Quatre was sitting in the corner chair, looking at him with his usual expression of concern and friendship. But that wasn't the surprising thing…Quatre's entire body was made up of light blue semi-transparent light. Only his aqua-blue eyes remained the same as Heero was used to. "Quatre?" Heero asked.
The apparition shook its head, "No, Heero. I may look like your friend Quatre, but I'm not him. I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past." Heero just glared at the thing. "What, no reaction? Most people I visit have SOMETHING to say to me…oh well." The ghost went over to the window and opened it with a touch to the glass. Cold air swirled in, but Heero still didn't react. //What did that baka put in my water THIS time…?// The ghost gave him a look of surprise. "Ahh, there's the reaction…delayed, but there. Duo didn't drug your water, Heero. I'm real, and what I'm going to show and tell you is important." Ghost-Quatre then stepped out the window and floated out into the cold air, reaching out a hand toward Heero. "Come on, let's go."
"No," Heero said.
Quatre sighed. "Fine, then we'll do this the hard way." His eyes grew colder and Heero felt his body lift from the bed and go slowly over to where Quatre was. He fought the whole way, but in the end, he still did the ghost's will. "Now will you come?" Quatre asked, sounding a bit annoyed. "I can do this the whole way, but I'd prefer not to." Seeing how powerless he was, Heero nodded reluctantly, and control of his body was returned to him. He took Quatre's proffered hand and immediately, he too was floating outside the window. Quatre smiled at him and said, "Hold on, here we go!" Then he sped off into the star-studded sky, dragging Heero along behind him.
When they finally landed, Heero looked around to see snow everywhere. It was on all the buildings and it covered the ground and streets. The streets themselves were lined on both sides by small shops selling a variety of items, all decorated in the Christmas spirit. "Where are we?" Heero asked.
Quatre just smiled. "Wait and see…you'll know soon enough."
Heero shrugged and stood there, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly, a familiar voice broke the stillness. "Heero!!" Heero looked up to see Duo bouncing out of one of the stores. //Now I know where we are. This is last Christmas…the one Duo and I spent on Earth…// Last Christmas, the two pilots had just happened to be in the same school and they were out on Christmas break. Duo had been begging Heero to take him shopping for days and Heero had finally agreed, just to get the baka off his back. The Quatre-ghost standing slightly behind him smiled as he read Heero's thoughts.
"Heero!!!" Duo called again and ran straight toward him.
Heero took a small step forward and said, "Duo, please don't—" Then he trailed off as Duo ran right by him. He turned to follow the braided boy's progress and saw him run up to…himself. He stared.
Quatre laughed. "Heero, these are only shades of the past. They can't see or hear us." Heero stared a moment more, then nodded in understanding and continued watching the scene.
"Duo," the past Heero said, "please don't yell like that. It could compromise our security, baka."
"Who cares, we're on vacation!" Duo yelled happily.
Past-Heero gave him a glare and said, "Not anymore. While you were inside, we got another mission." Duo's face instantly fell, but then he was immediately smiling and happy again as they walked off. Or at least he was acting happy.
"Did you see it?" Quatre asked softly. Heero nodded slowly. He hadn't seen it before, when it actually happened, but now he had.
"Yes," he said, feeling himself compelled to speak what he was thinking. "Duo was truly happy when he was shopping. Once I told him we had a mission, he grew sad, but he hid it behind a mask of happiness."
Quatre nodded sadly. "He wears that mask all the time, Heero. You are the only one he ever takes it off around, except for his sister." Heero started to say something, but Quatre held up a hand to stop him. "It's almost time for me to go. Remember what you saw." Then his body and the scene around them started to fade. "Good-bye, Heero," the Ghost said, as it faded completely away, leaving Heero alone back in his bedroom. Heero stared out the once more closed window for a moment, then went over to the bed and lay down. He was almost instantly asleep.
~*~*~*~*~
When he woke, it was to see another glowing light spread throughout his room. But this time the strange light was green. He sighed and looked around for the source…it didn't surprise him as much now, having been through it once. So when he saw that the source of this light was a Trowa look-a-like, he didn't waste time asking questions. He just said, "Spirit, show me what I must see."
The Trowa-ghost gave him a small smile. "Quatre had the hard job, didn't he? Convincing you to listen, that is."
Heero just glared at him. He was tired of this little game. "Could we just get this over with so I can actually get some sleep tonight?"
Trowa quirked an eyebrow calmly. "Testy, aren't we? Let me introduce myself." Trowa gave him a circus bow and said, "I am the Ghost of Christmas Present…but you can call me Trowa if you want, since I look like him." Heero gave him another glare. Trowa sighed. "All right, fine, be that way. Let's go." Then he grabbed Heero's hand and the two faded from view…
To appear in Duo's room. Heero looked around, seeing Duo sitting over at his laptop. "What are we doing here?" he asked.
"Just watch," Trowa replied. Heero folded his arms over his chest, but did as he was told.
Duo typed something on the keypad and watched as a message box came up on the screen. "Message Deleted."
"Dammit!" Duo growled as he closed the box and opened another window. "Why the fuck can't he just—" Duo started but then he was interrupted by a knock on the door.
"Duo?" Casi's voice came from outside the door. "Can I come in?"
"Sure," Duo said and got up to open the door. As he went to the door, Heero could see that his face looked haggard and worn, not at all like the face he usually saw on Duo. Then Duo's mask came up again as he opened the door to let his big sister in.
"Oh, Duo…" Casi said. She could always tell when he had his mask on…his eyes usually revealed his true feelings to those who cared to look. "Duo, you don't have to pretend with me."
Duo's shoulders slumped and his face crumpled as he said, "I know Casi. It's just…well, it's a habit."
"I know," Casi said softly. Then Duo slowly leaned toward her and she enfolded him in her arms as a small tear rolled down his face. "Shh…" she said, "Shh…it's ok. I know you love him and I know he's a bastard for not admitting that he loves you too."
"But…does he really love me?" Duo said softly as he pulled away to search her face.
"I really don't know," his sister said honestly, shaking her head slowly. //But if he doesn't…// she thought, and Heero was surprised he could hear her thoughts, //I really fear for you, little brother. I don't know what you'll do to yourself if…//
Heero struggled to remain emotionless, but the ghost must have seen the momentary panic flit across his face. "You see, you do care about him," Trowa said. Heero shot him a glare, but Trowa just looked at him. "I'm warning you Heero…Casi's closer to the truth than she knows…I must be going now."
Heero stared at the fading Trowa, then he called, "No wait! What do you mean? What will happen if—"
"Good-bye, Heero," Trowa called as he faded away.
"Wait!" Heero called, lunging toward the elusive spirit. But Trowa was gone and Heero only fell to the floor in the now totally black landscape.
~*~*~*~*~
Then another spirit slowly took form in front of him. Heero got up slowly, his eyes following this spirit's form as he stood. This one was dressed in a long, black cloak and brought no glowing light with it. Just before Heero straightened, he thought he caught a glimpse of the spirit's face…a shock of long, white bangs falling over ice-blue eyes. "Milliardo?" Heero asked. But the spirit just stood there. Then it pointed past Heero with a long, thin, black-gloved finger.
Heero turned to see a small room that looked like it was approaching them through the gloom. As it grew closer, Heero recognized it as the bathroom he and Duo shared. And then it was right in front of them, but they were outside of it, like an unbreakable glass wall separated them from the figure inside the room. The figure was Duo. He was sitting on the floor leaning against the tub, with his head down on his chest. His hair was free of its normal braid, its tangled strands falling across his face and most of his body.
Then he raised his head slowly and it seemed as if he looked straight into Heero's eyes. "Heero…" he said. Heero swallowed nervously. "Heero, why couldn't you love me?" Duo asked. Then he laughed manically and said, "I know why. I'm not good enough for you, am I? I'm just a lonely street rat, a 'hindrance to the mission,' an annoying baka you'd be glad to be rid of…well, now I'm gonna do your job for you." Then he raised his hand and Heero saw the gleaming razor blade held between Duo's shaking fingers.
"Duo…" he whispered, "no…." But there was nothing he could do. He was forced to watch helplessly. Duo watched his hand in fascination as he raised the razor blade to his other wrist and slashed his arm open from wrist to elbow. Then he switched hands and did his other arm. He performed the act almost with reverence, as if it were a sacred ritual, special only to him.
He dropped the crimson-stained blade on the floor beside him as the blood began to flow freely from his arms. "Good-bye, Heero," he said, smiling his trademark baka-grin as his life-blood pumped out of him. Heero's eye caught the clock on the wall of the bathroom and he saw that its half blue-half purple glowing cells said 'Christmas Day, AC 197, 10:00 AM (2).'
Suddenly, someone started pounding on the bathroom door. "DUO!!" Casi yelled. "Duo, open this door right now!! You had better not be doing something stupid in there! DUO!!!" Then she was joined by other voices.
Quatre's frantic pleading. "Duo, please! Please don't do anything, I'll talk to him, to you…no, Duo PLEASE!!" Then came a muffled thud as Quatre fell against the door but was then caught by Trowa before he could fall any farther (3).
Now Trowa's calm voice. "Duo, this is not the answer. There are other ways to—"
Interrupted by Wufei. "MAXWELL!! If you have done something stupid, I SWEAR I will deface Shinigami with Chinese characters that say Nataku kicks Shinigami's ass!"
A bit of a real smile crept into Duo's fake grin. //Desperate, aren't we, Wu? Well, it's too late now. Sorry guys…// Then the smile on his face froze as Death's cold grip closed around the self-styled Shinigami. Seconds later, the door burst inward thanks to multiple kicks from Trowa and Wufei. Casi slowly went over to her brother's still form. "Oh, Duo…" she said softly, tears running down her face.
Heero looked on, horrified, as each person mourned Duo's tragic death in their own way. "No…" he whispered. "NO! Duo…" And then, amazingly, a single tear cut its hot way down his cheek. //I see it now. I was the baka, not him, never him. I really DO love him…please…oh no, he can't be dead…Duo…no…//
A gentle, black-gloved finger caught the tear as it started to fall off his chin. "So," Milliardo's soft tenor came to his ears. "You finally see your true feelings. What will you do now, Heero?"
Heero looked up at the taller man. "Can I change this? Do I still have time?" Milliardo nodded, smiling softly, and swept a hand in front of Heero's face.
~*~*~*~*~
Heero blinked and he was back in his own bed. He sat up and looked at the blue-glowing clock beside his bed. 'Christmas Day, AC 197, 9:30 AM.' He sighed in relief. //I still have time. I can still stop him…where is he?// Heero jumped out of bed and headed for the bathroom door…only to find it locked. //No…he…he's already locked himself in…// "Duo?" he called. There was no answer. Heero started to get a little nervous. "Duo, I know you're in there. Are you alright?" he asked louder.
There was nothing for a few more minutes. Heero anxiously glanced at the clock. 'Christmas Day, AC 197, 9:50 AM.' Finally, "Why should you care?" came Duo's muffled voice. Heero nearly collapsed on the floor in relief.
"Duo," he said then, knowing he would have to be very careful now. "Please come out."
"Why?" came Duo's voice, followed by a muffled sob.
"Because we need to talk," Heero answered, praying to whatever gods there were that that was the right thing to say. It must have been, because, a few minutes later, the door cracked open to reveal Duo's puffy and red face. Duo's tear-filled violet eyes stared into Heero's Prussian blue orbs.
"About what?" Duo asked, an odd note in his voice. When Heero just stared for a second, he started to close the door again, but Heero wedged his foot and then fingers into the small crack before the door closed all the way. He got his fingertips squished a little, but he managed to pry the door back open. When he had it open enough, he wrenched the barrier out of Duo's grasp and grabbed the longhaired pilot, pulling him into the room with him.
Then Heero slowly brushed Duo's hair out of his face and leaned down to kiss him thoroughly. "About us," he said as he broke the kiss. Then he stared as a smile, a real smile, spread across Duo's face just before he was glomped hard enough to throw the two across the room and onto the bed. The bed where they proceeded to 'talk' for the next few hours, without being disturbed by anyone. This was because Casi had happened to be walking by the door when Heero pulled Duo out of the bathroom and was now guarding their door…as well as trying to find a way around Heero's 'fool-proof' lock system…
~Owari~
(1)=There really are lamps like that, my Papa has one, but it doesn't work anymore for some reason. I think they're really neat, so that's why Heero's lamp is like that. ^.^
(2)=Something I made up for this fic. I'm thinking it's like a digital clock, but it shows all that at once, with the date at the top and the time underneath. And the person can have the numbers and letters glow whatever color they want. Koolies, ne? ^.^
***Some of my fav quotes...***
"None of us fears death...Life is a dream from which we all must wake before we can dream again." (Wise One Amys to Aes Sedai Moiraine; The Fires of Heaven by Robert Jordan)
"Time is a room where all the doors are exits." (Mrs. Sims, my English teacher; original source unknown)
"Duo! Bad! Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts. He is standing there like he wants to kill you, and you're thinking about peeling his clothes off and making him moan? BAD DUO!" (Duo to himself about Heero; chapter 3 of The Vampire Heero by Lady Firen)
"Death rides on my shoulder. Death walks in my footsteps. I am death." (Lews Therin to Rand al'Thor; Lord of Chaos by Robert Jordan)
"Duty is heavier than a mountain, death lighter than a feather." (Rand al'Thor; several Robert Jordan books in the Wheel of Time series)
"'...Fear me, for I am Duo Maxwell, rightwise born the true Shinigami! Crusher of pride, both false and true! Destroyer of egos that dare to cross my path! The End of your pitiful existence and the Bringer of Hell! Tremble in my shadow, mere mortal, for thy Doom is at hand and Shinigami knows no mercy! I hold thy very soul in my fist and I shalt crush it like the worthless weakling egg it is! FEAR ME!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!'
'Allah, why do you plague me so?!' Clutching his chest dramatically, Quatre pretended to fall to his knees in despair. 'I face the demon Shinigami and thou doest leave me all alone! Do not forsake me, Great One, but come to my aid to help me do battle with him and emerge victorious! I shall not lose to the One of Braided Hair! I, a lowly mortal, must face him alone and do beseech divine aid so that I may live to see yet another day and also to crush my enemy beneath my booted heel! My sacred quest shall succeed!'" (convo between Duo and Quatre; chapter 5 of A Way to Heal by Lady DarkAngel)
"I was brought out of my lust filled haze by a tortured cry from Quatre. 'He's stretched already Heero, now get him over here so I can jump him!' I stopped, startled at the demand from the normally easygoing boy. 'Please.' He added curtly, and Duo burst into chuckles..." (Heero's POV; part 7b of Stealing Duo by The Wordsmith)
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Keeper of Chibi Duo's Shinigami doll.
Keeper of Chibi Heero's GI Joe doll.
Member of the Evil Chaotic Elf Posse.
Supporter of Quatre as the leader of the Gundam pilots.