Author's Note: 'ello all. This is coming along nicely, although I'm having a spell of the old writers block. Lately I've been getting a lot of inspiration from songs. Some songs are just so perfect to what I want to say or how to say it or hell they just make me feel somehting that I know I have to get down. Seeing as this story was partially based on the inspiration garnered from 'Lover You Should Have Come Over' I may be putting other songs that are pushing this story on into the mix. This chapter begins this. It won't be every chapter, and I'm trying my best to not make this into some sort of horrid song-fic (which I have no problems with, it's just there are only so many Evanescence songfics one can read before becoming jaded.). So enjoy the inspiration for Chapter 3: Superhero. As always I'm a review whore (like being love's bitch only without the love), so won't you toss me a few reviews? And oh yeah, there are lines throughout my stories which have been stolen directly from the show, those are the intellectual property of whoever wrote them, and I mean copying is like a sign of greatness, so don't sue me. Thanks!

sleep walking through the all night drug store, baptized in flourescent light
i found religion in the greeting card aisle, now i know hallmark was right.
and every pop song on the radio, is suddenly speaking to me
yeah art may imitate life, but life imitates t.v.
'cuz you've been gone exactly 2 weeks, 2 weeks and 3 days
and lets just say that things look different now, different in so many ways
i used to be a super hero, no one could touch me, yeah not even myself
but you are like a phone booth that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me, i am just like everybody else

if i was dressed in my best defenses, would you agree to meet me for coffee?
if i did my tricks with smoke and mirrors, would you still know which one was me?
if i was naked and screaming on your front lawn, would you turn on the light and come down?
screaming, 'there's the asshole who did this to me, stripped me of my power, stripped me down.'
i used to be a superhero, no one could hurt me, yeah not even myself
you are like a phone booth i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me, i am just like every body else

yeah you've been gone exactly 2 weeks, 2 weeks and 3 days
and now i'm a different person, different in so many ways
tell me what did you like about me, and don't say my strength and daring
'cuz now i think i'm at your mercy, and it's my first time, for that sort of thing
i used to be a super hero, i would swoop down and save me from myself
but you are like a phone booth that i somehow stumbled into,
and now look at me, I am just like everybody else. -ani difranco, 'superhero' from the album Dilate

"And you know what was the worst part? She called me William. That's right, using my given name like it meant something to her." I was rambling, it was more because of the incredible amount of alcohol Warren had supplied me with in conjunction with my blood. "And I was pratt enough to fall for it!"

Warren had been sitting back, enjoying listening to this. It might have been my self-preservation instinct working over time but I knew the more I talked the less time he would have to kill me. Well not exactly less time, more like as along as I was talking I knew I wasn't dead, plus he seemed amused.

"That bitch deserves to be punished Spike. I can't believe you let the slayer play you like that."

"I never said it was Buffy, bah! like I'd touch her." Liar, liar bloody pants on fire.

"Spike, I told you, I heard the conversation in the graveyard, something about you wanting her to tell her friends about the two of you, she being like 'I tried to kill them, and they still love me, I doubt fucking you is gonna make a difference.'"

"Oh, yeah. Well still, she took advantage of me. Had no right she did. Treatin' me like her little tin soldier."

"Don't you wish you could make her pay? Let her know how it feels?"

"She knows how I feel, felt that way when Peaches walked out. When Captain Cardboard ran out of her life. She knows how I feel."

"You know, I could help you."

"It all started when they put this chip in my head, stupid government, thinkin' they could control us demons. Before that I wanted nothin' more in this world than to have her dead, innards spread as far as the eye can see, her head, preferably on a stick, me licking the blood off my lip. That's how it should be, not me chasing her about makin' moon eyes. Vampire kills slayer before slayer kills vampire, that's the way it's always been; its the natural order of things."

"So the problem is the chip? We take away the chip and everything is fine?"

"See, I could kill Buffy. Chip don't fire on her anymore. Not sure why, that's why I had you and your band of buggered look at it. Thought it was broken, but it wasn't she's the broken one."

"Really? how is she broken?"

"Came back from the dead wrong. Fancy that, magicks going terribly wrong, what a bleedin' surprise that was!" I started laughing, the liquor had taken over my thoughts a while back, but I didn't care, he was just gonna stake me any ways.

"Came back from the dead? What do you mean?"

"I mean she was dead, 6 feet under, buried and all that rot. Threw herself off the tower to save the world, stupid girl. Red, Red brought her back, forgot about the digging up, let her claw her way out like some animal. Like, well like a vampire. Ever since then she ain't been right. I mean, she's still the slayer, and she's still my Buffy, but somethin's changed about her. Can't put my finger on it, but the chip doesn't fire with her any more. Chip only fires when I try to hurt humans, so I'm thinkin' she came back with a bit more demon in 'er."

"Well, that's an interesting twist. What if I told you I could fix you, make you what you were, a fierce dark warrior? What if I could make you the vampire in town?"

"Sorry, but I already am. I'm the master vampire, even though I'm neutered, no one in this town is older than me. I'm the shit."

"But what if I could give you back the power?"

"You know, I've been offered this gig before. Big bloke, made up of bits n' pieces of other blokes and demons, offered me the same, but he couldn't come through. Then there was the doctor, fooled Harmony and myself, big time."

"Harmony Kendall? Annoying bitchy blonde girl?"

"Yup, vampire, but I can't imagine she was much nicer in real life, real pain in my ass. But anyways, I don't really fancy you poking about in my head."

"I wouldn't need to."

"What?"

"Let's just say that your friend Anyanka and myself have a bit more in common than you think."

"You're a..."

"Vengeance Demon? Yeah. Funny story. So I rocket away when Buffy shows up and smashes my orbs. My best friends get hauled in to jail, and well, it's not like I'm gonna rescue them. But now all my plans are foiled, and Jonathon, Jonathon of all people double crossed me! I was pretty upset, so this dude with horns shows up and offers me the gift of the wish. But it gets better! I'm immortal, have kick ass strength and super powers, its like everything we worked so hard for, and it just got handed to me."

"But Anya's the vengeance demon for scorned women, and that Halkrek bird is all about the bad parents, what's your deal, freaks and geeks?"

"Betrayed friends. Quite simple really, lots of work too. Did I mention I can teleport?"

"But I 'aven't been betrayed."

"Yes you have. Do you want the list alphabetically or in chronological order? I mean, Spike, you've gotten screwed your whole life, it's a huge surprise that you haven't been contacted by one of us before."

"But what specifically was it this time around?"

"She isn't going to show. Buffy is going to betray you, I sorta set it up that way. So this is like a preemptive strike. A pre-betrayal action."

"You can't do that, goes against all you're demony rules. I should know, dated a few vengeance demons in my day, Dru never liked 'em, but I know they have rules."

"Screw the rules. I'm not much on following the rules. I could care less actually. What's the worst that happens? D'Hoffryn turns me mortal again? I haven't had a 1000 year reign of terror, so it's not like it'll be a huge adjustment. I just want to give the slayer what she has coming, what she deserves. Think about it, easy pickin's, you can eat the witches, Xander Harris, all of them, and that will hurt her more than beating on her."

A chance to be me again. A chance to leave this whole mess behind, to move forward. Maybe find Dru, head back to Europe. Europe's always good for mayhem. A spot of real violence would do me fine. No more pig's blood from novelty mugs, no more cows blood, nothing but human straight from the vein. She would hate me for this. Stake me on the spot. Maybe that'd be for the best, then I wouldn't have to deal with her ever again, I could go to hell and spend the rest of eternity forgetting about her. Her, what she does to me, should be criminal. All I did was love her, but she can't handle that, can't handle someone not treating her like shit. Can't handle the fact that someone like me, an evil, souless thing, could feel something like love for her.

"I wish to be returned to my former self so Buffy can get what she deserves." The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

Warren laughed, his face morphed to look much like Anya's. "Well consider it done."

The dreams started again last night. I thought they were finally gone, but they've returned. It's like that night I thought I killed Katrina. Only without all the destruction. Spike comes to me, in my bed, and comforts me. He holds me, and tells me everything will be alright, even though I know he's only saying it, it makes me feel better. I curl up in the coolness of his embrace and the blood that feels as though it could boil right through my flesh is calmed. He wants so badly to treat me well, with kindness, and I just don't know how to deal with that. It's like I want to be punished. I didn't ask to come back here, and he's the only one who doesn't ask me to be normal, but he's also the only one who is willing to inflict pain on me, even if I have to beg him to do so. But in these dreams, I don't want that from him, I want his peace, if anything he is at peace with himself. He is sated in his skin, he now knows his place even if it isn't where he wanted to be. I don't know those things anymore. But in his arms, I feel that peace, as if where I am supposed to be is right there, at that moment. And for a second I am free again.

Dawn wakes me up early, corrupting my happy place, my contentment, my freedom. Squealing about how we have to get to the Magic Box and how Tara and Anya have come up with a plan. Great, the horribly meddling Anya, if it weren't for her none of this would have happened. I wish she hadn't come here, where's a vengeance demon when you really need one? Dawn goes ahead of me, I need to shower the grease out of my hair from yesterday. I barely care enough to do that anymore. There isn't much holding me back from street urchin chic.

I turn the water on as hot as it will go. I can't feel it anyways. It can't hurt me, nothing done to my flesh can hurt as much as the pain inside of me. Sometimes it scares me, because I can understand how it must feel to be Faith. I don't patrol anymore, I hunt, I am god out there, killing me can't stop me. I almost can fathom how hollow she felt, how easy it was to go over that edge and completely embrace the shadow within. It's there, the demon inside of me. He sees it, Spike knows it's there, a demon who's hunger is similar to his own. That's why we're supposed to kill the vampires, to keep us from becoming them. I wonder how many slayers gave up the dance before me, how if in that moment their demon realized it. That what they were killing was made of the same stuff as themselves. Maybe that's why they faltered, not because they gave up, but because they saw the truth. The dance isn't fun when you realize you've only been dancing with yourself.

I drag my carcass, yes I call myself a carcass, cos sometimes that's how it feels, down to the Magic Box. Anya is sparkly and cheery, and I just want to rip her perfect little head off. It must be nice to embrace the demon within, she seems so happy with it. Tara is buried in a book, with Dawn next to her, doing the same. As much as I love and thank Tara, I also envy her. Dawn doesn't have half that respect for me.

"So I hear there's a plan."

"Yes, it's very exciting." Anya beamed.

I sit down on one of the counters. Waiting for them to explain.

Tara started, "N-n-now I don't know how you're going to feel about this. But we haven't discussed this with Willow or Xander."

"So that you know there is no outward disapproval, because we are not nearly as judgemental as the two of them." Anya said with a smile.

"But we were thinking, Anya's a vengeance demon, she likes to work with scorned women."

"I'm considering branching out to men, Hallie says its a new age and that the whole women's lib thing really has turned the tables on the scorning."

"Could you stop so I can tell her?" Tara asked Anya.

"Yes, I was just saying..." Anya looked peeved, but got over it quickly.

"Well, in a sense you've been scorned. I mean Spike hurt you when he..."

"Boinked my brains out post sexy-dance performance."

"And that too. Technically, Anya can grant you a wish. You could wish that Spike had never been captured, and ta-da Spike isn't captured any more."

Dawn beamed, "Isn't it genius? Tara and I were talking and all of a sudden it was like, hello ton of bricks!"

"A wish? Doesn't this usually go terribly wrong? I mean with Cordelia, and then Dawn..." I wasn't too sure about this.

"Oh lighten up Summers, it only goes badly when you aren't specific, or when you are too broad, or when you ask for something that involves the folding of time, that never ends well, neither does evisceration." Anya explained.

"I don't know, I mean this is kinda tricky, wouldn't it be easier to find Warren and kick his ass a lot?" What would I wish for? That Spike had never come here? That he had never fallen in love with me? No I can't wish that, cos then Dawn might be dead. Just something as simple as I wish Warren hadn't abducted Spike? I mean with a wish something that lame just seems well, lame.

"Come on Buffy, this is so simple, I mean, make the wish, and poof Anya grants it. Everything is right with the world, no magic was used, no asses were kicked and life returns to normal." Dawn was whining.

"Well, not exactly normal, I mean it would mean we would lose time up to the time he was taken. Which is just a teensy time fold, only 24 hours really, nothing that will overly corrupt our dimension. And only Buffy would remember what lead up to the events, well, her and myself and any other vengeance demon who happens to be effected. But the rest of your puny mortal brains will have no memory of today." Anya clarified.

"But you said..."

"When I said time folding didn't turn out well, that's cos most people want me to go back years, you know, make sure so and so was never born, and well, that is usually at least a 20 year fold, and it doesn't always work well."

"Like when Cordelia wished I had never come to Sunnydale."

"Exactly. She was thrown into a world that was not her own, 24 hours ago, the world is still the same, 24 days ago, well, it starts getting tricky."

"Would you be able to drop me where he was taken from? So I could guarantee he isn't taken."

"Yeah, I guess so, that wouldn't be a huge deal. You wish it, I dish it, that's the deal."

"So what you're saying is I can add things to specify it down, like where I want to be and what I want to happen."

"Yeah."

It didn't even take me a second to think about what I wanted. "I wish to prevent Spike's abduction, take me to the place he was taken from so I can stop Warren."

Anya's face transformed into it's demonic guise, "Granted."