[Chi's Work]
Uncatchable Stars
What is her name again? I can hardly remember. I know it starts with a "C". That is pretty much all I need to know. I look at the woman next to me and I have the least interest to find out her whole name. To me, she is just another meaningless woman, a woman among the flocks that I use to warm myself in the lonely nights. About once a week, I wake up next to a woman that I barely know. Usually, our relationship would end in a less than a week, which is before I can manage to learn her name. This one is another example.
I get up and get dressed. I take one last look at the woman still sleeping soundly in bed. One look at her and I feel sick already. I don't know how I can bare to have dated her in the past week. I quicken my pace to leave the hotel. I don't want to hear any whining and crying from the woman when I announce the end of our relationship between. Girls usually get pretty upset at the end of the week when I will dump them even when they know how fast I can go through in a relationship. Each of these woman that I sleep with all think they will be the last woman in my life, but they are always wrong.
In my car, I sniff and I feel disgusted as I can still smell the strong perfume of the girl I slept with. Why do most girls like to marinate themselves in perfume? Don't they know that a little is enough and too much is just suffocating? I can not wait until I get home and jump into the shower and wash all the trace of my already ex-girlfriend's scent off of me. I look around to see where I am. I can't tolerate the stinging perfume anymore. What I see out the window of my car is quite unexpected. I see a familiar figure. I see a person who has imprinted her smile, her voice and her laughter in me. Without noticing, I have steered my car next to the road where the girl is walking pass by. I roll down the window and call out her name.
"Yuki," I say. I wish I didn't pull over. I wish I never called her name.
She stops and turn toward my car with an uncertain face. When she finally realizes it is me, she puts a smile on her face.
"Good morning," Yuki answers and an even brighter smile is on her face. She is definitely in a good mood today.
I look at her face and it is such a contrast with the woman that I woke up in bed with. Yuki's face is natural, real, pure and innocent. Comparing to the other woman, I don't think I would be able to recognize her once she takes off her makeup.
"Where are you going? Do you want a ride?" I ask. Although I do admit that I feel awkward seeing her, I don't want to leave her in the street. I can at least offer a ride. There is this tugging feeling in my heart that I can't explain.
Yuki walks over to the other side of the car and gets in. For the first time, I just notice the bouquet of flowers she is holding.
"Nice roses," I comment, although the thought of someone giving her flowers gives me the urge to throw the flowers right out the window. I realize how selfish I am. How can I be upset about these flowers when I was the one who pushed her away at first? I mentally slap myself hard.
Yuki smiles at the comment and says nothing. She continues to stare, with the silly smile on her face, at the flowers she is holding. It is as if she is mesmerized by them.
"Thanks. Can you take me home? I just got off from the night shift in the coffee shop," Yuki answers while smelling one of the flowers in front of her.
I drive slowly while taking needless turns. However, no matter how much more needless turns I make, I still arrive at her house too quickly. At least it is too quickly for me. Yuki smiles brightly at me and thanks me again for the ride. Looking at her cheerful smile, I understand I had pushed away from me in the beginning. It was before I was afraid I would break the only thing I treasure. It is just like going into a crystal store. Some people only take a look at the beautiful glittery figures but never intend to buy them because those are just too precious to be broken someday. To me, Yuki is the same case. She is too precious to me that I am afraid I will break it some day.
Yuki hops off the car and let out a light giggle as she looks at the man leaning on the gate of her house.
"Why are you here? Didn't you say you would go home when you left the shop?" Yuki asks in her bubbly voice.
I scrutinize the man from head to toe. The man has nothing special, or to put it in the right words, he has nothing that can compare to me. From the clothes he is wearing, I can tell he is from an average family. Also, he does possess the charisma that can compare to mine. Yet, I know he probably has something that I don't have. It is that he has a better chance of giving Yuki happiness.
"I had a change of plan. I wanted to see you one more time before I start my day," the man says.
What flattery words. I take one last look at the two of them and speed off.
For the next few days, I live in frustration. When I am with those girls I meet in clubs, they never interest me. Instead, the scene of Yuki with the guy repeating appears in my mind. The more they appear, the more I want to find the guy and tell him to stay away. Why am I being to selfish again? Just because I don't want her, doesn't mean I have the right to stop others from taking an interest in her. Or is it because the person you lose is always the best possible human to be ever existed? Just as the girl sitting next to me tries to seduce me, a familiar figure catches the corner of my eye. It is the man that was waiting for Yuki the other day. So much for the flattery words. Looks like Yuki approaching for to another emotional fall. This thought angers me. The man has his arm around another girl while whispering inaudible words into her ears. They are probably words of more false sweetness like the ones he has for Yuki. I push away the girl who is practically sitting on my lap. I put much effort in keeping my face composed. I lightly tap the man's shoulder. The second he turns toward I give him a hard blow across the face. After punching, my mood seems better. It feels like I have avenged for Yuki. Before the guy can gain balance and knowledge of the event, I have already strolled out of the club.
I jump into my car and mindlessly start to drive. When my car pulls to a stop, I am already in front of Yuki's house. I want to tell her that she should pull herself out of her dream before she get have dug the hole to deep to climb out. Just as my whole body is dying to run to Yuki, a question pops into my mind. Who am I to tell her? I debate with myself to whether tell her or not. Since when am I so indecisive and a busy body? As I fight my internal turmoil, someone knocks on the window of my car. I look up and see Yuki's face looking intently at me. I row down the window.
"Hi," it was the only words I know to say. It is very rare that I would lost my words in front of a girl. In front of all those other bimbo, my mouth can speak nonstop of sweet lies. However, in front of her, not a single un-sincere word comes out.
"It's late, what are you doing here?" Yuki asks. She seems tired.
"I," just as I reply, I am quickly interrupted.
"Lets go and eat something," Yuki suggests.
The dinner passes as Yuki chit chat about her day. To burn some calories after eating, we decide to take a walk in the park. Again, Yuki is talking non-stop. Since when did she have so much to talk about?
"There was a really weird customer today," Yuki says with a light smile on her face.
I look at her and just smile.
"That customer kept on pulling the door when it was supposed to be pushed.....ah!!! Look! A shooting star!" Yuki loudly exclaims.
I look up and see a single bright star makes a trail of light behind its path which disappears almost as quickly as it appears. I look back at Yuki and she already has her eyes closed with her hands together making a wish.
"What kind of wish did you make?" I ask.
Yuki slowly opens her eyes. For a second, I swear I see a glimpse of sorrow in her eyes. However, before I can figure out what it is that I saw in her eyes, her expression has already reverted back to its previous grin. "If I say it out loud, it won't come true," Yuki answers.
I look at her and without realizing it, my mouth blurts out the thing I have wanted to say the whole day.
"Can we have another chance?" I blurt out.
Yuki's grin fades away and is replaced with a solemn face. She lowers her head. I regret for saying it. I know have upset her again. However, I will not take my words back. I just want to have my frustration resolved. It doesn't matter what the answer is.
Yuki suddenly looks up. With a smile plastered on her face. Although she has try with her hardest effort to put on a happy face, I can still clearly see the sadness behind her cheerful façade.
"OK. If you can bring me the stars in the sky, then I will give you another chance," Yuki says.
How can anyone get a star from the sky? An impossible task.
"Until then, lets forget about this conversation tonight," Yuki says with a calm voice as if nothing happened. She turns around and slowly walks away and says again, "It's late. I am going home. You should go home too. I can walk home by myself."
I watch as Yuki's figure disappears into the darkness of the night.
Slowly strolling to my car, I am determined to make the impossible be possible. I think and think and think. Is there really such a way to get a star from the sky?
Two o'clock in the morning, I walk up to Yuki's house. I ring the doorbell without considering whether her family is asleep or not. I expect to wait a few minutes before someone will come to open the door follow by a few complaints of rude awakening by her family. Yet, to my surprise, someone opens the door shortly after I ring the bell. It is Yuki who opens the door. Yuki looks up at me with tired, red, watery eyes. Has she been crying?
"Nishikado? What are you doing here at this hour?" Yuki whispers, afraid to wake everyone.
"Are you serious about what you said earlier?" I ask. I have never been so serious in my life.
"Does it matter?" Yuki asks me back.
"Yes!" I immediately reply.
I knelt down and get the bucket of water that I have brought with me. I adjust the angle of the bucket and put it in front of Yuki's face so she can see the reflection in the water.
"What do you see in the water?" I anxiously ask.
Yuki hesitantly look at the water and look back at me.
"I don't see anything. What are you trying to do, Nishikado?" Yuki asks in a pleading voice.
"Look closely," I am always begging her.
Yuki looks at the water once again, scrutinizing the water in front of her.
"Can't you see the reflection of the sky and the stars? Didn't you say that if I can bring the stars in the sky to you, then you will give us another chance? Please..." I am truly begging now.
A drop of water falls onto the calm water in the bucket. Yuki looks at me with her tear streaked face. "Why are you doing this to me," she asks weakly.
I put down the bucket and stare at her. "Because I love you," I simply answer.
In the quietly of the night, only Yuki's sobs can be heard. Between her sobs, she manages to say, "Why are you doing this to me. Do you know how hard it is to get over you? Each day I try my best to forget about you. Now, all of a sudden, you are here to awaken my long asleep feelings. You are so selfish!"
Yuki tries to close the door, but I forcefully keep it open and still have the chance to catch her in my arms.
"I am really sorry. I know I am selfish, but I don't want to lie to myself anymore. If it's hard to forget me, then please don't as I will never forget you," I try to explain, "If we both have feelings for each other, then why can't we be together?"
Yuki sobs even harder as my words continue. After what seems like eternity, she slowly calms down and quietly says, "Do you know what I wished for in the park earlier?"
I look at her with questioning eyes. What does that have to do with this? A change of topic? What does this mean?
"I thought you said it won't come true if you say it out loud," I ask.
"I don't want it to," she rests her head on my shoulder and whisper, "I wish that I can stop loving you."
A smile finds it way on my previously sad and serious face. I know this is the moment that will change the way I live for the rest of my life. For starter, I will have to resign from my playboy image because I have found what I wanted.
*** I didn't edit it. So, bare with me if there are mistakes. Also, half way thru the story, I pretty much hate it...dunno why I wrote this.
Uncatchable Stars
What is her name again? I can hardly remember. I know it starts with a "C". That is pretty much all I need to know. I look at the woman next to me and I have the least interest to find out her whole name. To me, she is just another meaningless woman, a woman among the flocks that I use to warm myself in the lonely nights. About once a week, I wake up next to a woman that I barely know. Usually, our relationship would end in a less than a week, which is before I can manage to learn her name. This one is another example.
I get up and get dressed. I take one last look at the woman still sleeping soundly in bed. One look at her and I feel sick already. I don't know how I can bare to have dated her in the past week. I quicken my pace to leave the hotel. I don't want to hear any whining and crying from the woman when I announce the end of our relationship between. Girls usually get pretty upset at the end of the week when I will dump them even when they know how fast I can go through in a relationship. Each of these woman that I sleep with all think they will be the last woman in my life, but they are always wrong.
In my car, I sniff and I feel disgusted as I can still smell the strong perfume of the girl I slept with. Why do most girls like to marinate themselves in perfume? Don't they know that a little is enough and too much is just suffocating? I can not wait until I get home and jump into the shower and wash all the trace of my already ex-girlfriend's scent off of me. I look around to see where I am. I can't tolerate the stinging perfume anymore. What I see out the window of my car is quite unexpected. I see a familiar figure. I see a person who has imprinted her smile, her voice and her laughter in me. Without noticing, I have steered my car next to the road where the girl is walking pass by. I roll down the window and call out her name.
"Yuki," I say. I wish I didn't pull over. I wish I never called her name.
She stops and turn toward my car with an uncertain face. When she finally realizes it is me, she puts a smile on her face.
"Good morning," Yuki answers and an even brighter smile is on her face. She is definitely in a good mood today.
I look at her face and it is such a contrast with the woman that I woke up in bed with. Yuki's face is natural, real, pure and innocent. Comparing to the other woman, I don't think I would be able to recognize her once she takes off her makeup.
"Where are you going? Do you want a ride?" I ask. Although I do admit that I feel awkward seeing her, I don't want to leave her in the street. I can at least offer a ride. There is this tugging feeling in my heart that I can't explain.
Yuki walks over to the other side of the car and gets in. For the first time, I just notice the bouquet of flowers she is holding.
"Nice roses," I comment, although the thought of someone giving her flowers gives me the urge to throw the flowers right out the window. I realize how selfish I am. How can I be upset about these flowers when I was the one who pushed her away at first? I mentally slap myself hard.
Yuki smiles at the comment and says nothing. She continues to stare, with the silly smile on her face, at the flowers she is holding. It is as if she is mesmerized by them.
"Thanks. Can you take me home? I just got off from the night shift in the coffee shop," Yuki answers while smelling one of the flowers in front of her.
I drive slowly while taking needless turns. However, no matter how much more needless turns I make, I still arrive at her house too quickly. At least it is too quickly for me. Yuki smiles brightly at me and thanks me again for the ride. Looking at her cheerful smile, I understand I had pushed away from me in the beginning. It was before I was afraid I would break the only thing I treasure. It is just like going into a crystal store. Some people only take a look at the beautiful glittery figures but never intend to buy them because those are just too precious to be broken someday. To me, Yuki is the same case. She is too precious to me that I am afraid I will break it some day.
Yuki hops off the car and let out a light giggle as she looks at the man leaning on the gate of her house.
"Why are you here? Didn't you say you would go home when you left the shop?" Yuki asks in her bubbly voice.
I scrutinize the man from head to toe. The man has nothing special, or to put it in the right words, he has nothing that can compare to me. From the clothes he is wearing, I can tell he is from an average family. Also, he does possess the charisma that can compare to mine. Yet, I know he probably has something that I don't have. It is that he has a better chance of giving Yuki happiness.
"I had a change of plan. I wanted to see you one more time before I start my day," the man says.
What flattery words. I take one last look at the two of them and speed off.
For the next few days, I live in frustration. When I am with those girls I meet in clubs, they never interest me. Instead, the scene of Yuki with the guy repeating appears in my mind. The more they appear, the more I want to find the guy and tell him to stay away. Why am I being to selfish again? Just because I don't want her, doesn't mean I have the right to stop others from taking an interest in her. Or is it because the person you lose is always the best possible human to be ever existed? Just as the girl sitting next to me tries to seduce me, a familiar figure catches the corner of my eye. It is the man that was waiting for Yuki the other day. So much for the flattery words. Looks like Yuki approaching for to another emotional fall. This thought angers me. The man has his arm around another girl while whispering inaudible words into her ears. They are probably words of more false sweetness like the ones he has for Yuki. I push away the girl who is practically sitting on my lap. I put much effort in keeping my face composed. I lightly tap the man's shoulder. The second he turns toward I give him a hard blow across the face. After punching, my mood seems better. It feels like I have avenged for Yuki. Before the guy can gain balance and knowledge of the event, I have already strolled out of the club.
I jump into my car and mindlessly start to drive. When my car pulls to a stop, I am already in front of Yuki's house. I want to tell her that she should pull herself out of her dream before she get have dug the hole to deep to climb out. Just as my whole body is dying to run to Yuki, a question pops into my mind. Who am I to tell her? I debate with myself to whether tell her or not. Since when am I so indecisive and a busy body? As I fight my internal turmoil, someone knocks on the window of my car. I look up and see Yuki's face looking intently at me. I row down the window.
"Hi," it was the only words I know to say. It is very rare that I would lost my words in front of a girl. In front of all those other bimbo, my mouth can speak nonstop of sweet lies. However, in front of her, not a single un-sincere word comes out.
"It's late, what are you doing here?" Yuki asks. She seems tired.
"I," just as I reply, I am quickly interrupted.
"Lets go and eat something," Yuki suggests.
The dinner passes as Yuki chit chat about her day. To burn some calories after eating, we decide to take a walk in the park. Again, Yuki is talking non-stop. Since when did she have so much to talk about?
"There was a really weird customer today," Yuki says with a light smile on her face.
I look at her and just smile.
"That customer kept on pulling the door when it was supposed to be pushed.....ah!!! Look! A shooting star!" Yuki loudly exclaims.
I look up and see a single bright star makes a trail of light behind its path which disappears almost as quickly as it appears. I look back at Yuki and she already has her eyes closed with her hands together making a wish.
"What kind of wish did you make?" I ask.
Yuki slowly opens her eyes. For a second, I swear I see a glimpse of sorrow in her eyes. However, before I can figure out what it is that I saw in her eyes, her expression has already reverted back to its previous grin. "If I say it out loud, it won't come true," Yuki answers.
I look at her and without realizing it, my mouth blurts out the thing I have wanted to say the whole day.
"Can we have another chance?" I blurt out.
Yuki's grin fades away and is replaced with a solemn face. She lowers her head. I regret for saying it. I know have upset her again. However, I will not take my words back. I just want to have my frustration resolved. It doesn't matter what the answer is.
Yuki suddenly looks up. With a smile plastered on her face. Although she has try with her hardest effort to put on a happy face, I can still clearly see the sadness behind her cheerful façade.
"OK. If you can bring me the stars in the sky, then I will give you another chance," Yuki says.
How can anyone get a star from the sky? An impossible task.
"Until then, lets forget about this conversation tonight," Yuki says with a calm voice as if nothing happened. She turns around and slowly walks away and says again, "It's late. I am going home. You should go home too. I can walk home by myself."
I watch as Yuki's figure disappears into the darkness of the night.
Slowly strolling to my car, I am determined to make the impossible be possible. I think and think and think. Is there really such a way to get a star from the sky?
Two o'clock in the morning, I walk up to Yuki's house. I ring the doorbell without considering whether her family is asleep or not. I expect to wait a few minutes before someone will come to open the door follow by a few complaints of rude awakening by her family. Yet, to my surprise, someone opens the door shortly after I ring the bell. It is Yuki who opens the door. Yuki looks up at me with tired, red, watery eyes. Has she been crying?
"Nishikado? What are you doing here at this hour?" Yuki whispers, afraid to wake everyone.
"Are you serious about what you said earlier?" I ask. I have never been so serious in my life.
"Does it matter?" Yuki asks me back.
"Yes!" I immediately reply.
I knelt down and get the bucket of water that I have brought with me. I adjust the angle of the bucket and put it in front of Yuki's face so she can see the reflection in the water.
"What do you see in the water?" I anxiously ask.
Yuki hesitantly look at the water and look back at me.
"I don't see anything. What are you trying to do, Nishikado?" Yuki asks in a pleading voice.
"Look closely," I am always begging her.
Yuki looks at the water once again, scrutinizing the water in front of her.
"Can't you see the reflection of the sky and the stars? Didn't you say that if I can bring the stars in the sky to you, then you will give us another chance? Please..." I am truly begging now.
A drop of water falls onto the calm water in the bucket. Yuki looks at me with her tear streaked face. "Why are you doing this to me," she asks weakly.
I put down the bucket and stare at her. "Because I love you," I simply answer.
In the quietly of the night, only Yuki's sobs can be heard. Between her sobs, she manages to say, "Why are you doing this to me. Do you know how hard it is to get over you? Each day I try my best to forget about you. Now, all of a sudden, you are here to awaken my long asleep feelings. You are so selfish!"
Yuki tries to close the door, but I forcefully keep it open and still have the chance to catch her in my arms.
"I am really sorry. I know I am selfish, but I don't want to lie to myself anymore. If it's hard to forget me, then please don't as I will never forget you," I try to explain, "If we both have feelings for each other, then why can't we be together?"
Yuki sobs even harder as my words continue. After what seems like eternity, she slowly calms down and quietly says, "Do you know what I wished for in the park earlier?"
I look at her with questioning eyes. What does that have to do with this? A change of topic? What does this mean?
"I thought you said it won't come true if you say it out loud," I ask.
"I don't want it to," she rests her head on my shoulder and whisper, "I wish that I can stop loving you."
A smile finds it way on my previously sad and serious face. I know this is the moment that will change the way I live for the rest of my life. For starter, I will have to resign from my playboy image because I have found what I wanted.
*** I didn't edit it. So, bare with me if there are mistakes. Also, half way thru the story, I pretty much hate it...dunno why I wrote this.