Authors Note: Welcome new readers! And just for you I decided to write a new chapter immediately instead of working on my other much neglected stories. But you should go read those too cos, hey, if you liked this, you might like them too, and I am a shameless self-promoter when I am not promoting Joss. Come to think of it, I should be his personal PR chick. But now back to reality, this chapter has quotes stolen directly from the season 7 episode 'Get it Done.' But if you ain't seen it, I doubt this will spoil it for you cos I take it in a different direction. So sorry Doug petrie, but I had to take them and use them myself, that's how good you are, now go ahead steal my stuff, I dare you! Reviews make it all worthwhile, make it all worthwhile. -A

Breath after breath, breath after breath
Everyday I wake up in this room and I don't know
Where I come from or where I'm going to then I hear the voice
From where I stand the truth isn't black and white alone we live and die, we love and fight
Breath after breath we carry this mortal coil safe for tomorrow
Do I dare oh do I dare follow through the footsteps my whole body hears
Beating on my heart like a feather beating of a moment till I disappear
From where I stand the truth isn't black and white alone we live and die, we love and fight
Breath after breath we carry this mortal coil
Circles in the sand washed out into the sea just as we slip on through to eternity
Breath after breath we carry this mortal coil safe for tomorrow
A flame of love is burning always the song is of the planets
The dance is to the rhythm of the rain where everyone is coming from is coming to
And birth is just a breath after breath
You are my kind, you are my kind -S. LeBon, 'Breath after Breath' Duran Duran 'The Wedding Album'

Spike had been tied up in my living room off and on for a good 3 days before Giles turned up. We were untying Spike during the day cos there was little chance he'd escape, and it was usually only Willow, Tara or myself alone with him, and we could handle him. I didn't want to put Dawn in a risky situation, so while threatening military school as her only option outside of attending Sunnydale's finest, she reluctantly decided to go to school all week. I had no idea military schools took girls, but I saw it on the internet, so now I'm thanking my lucky stars mom and dad didn't know that post-gym burning. Giles was surprisingly not apprehensive about Spike being de-chipped. I almost wondered if he had consumed so much bangers and mash and fish and chips (and why are all British food items something AND something?), that the cholesterol had permanently blocked some of the blood from reaching his brain. But this was not the case, he just knew Spike wouldn't dare.

Giles arrived with a large metal suitcase, it looked like the kind mobsters use to transport money in the movies. He practically had it handcuffed to his wrist. He went up to take a nap, and when he was done sleeping he came back downstairs, case in tow. Highly suspicious, even for a watcher. When Dawn saw Giles she practicaly threw herself at him shrieking that he had to stay cos she was in a play at school or something. I didn't really hear her, but that wasn't too new. Spike hadn't said a word since Giles arrived, and I saw them give each other a look, one of those conspiriatorial looks that said they were up to something, but hey they're British so for all I know it was a 'Hi, wanker.' look.

"Buffy, I would like you to come to the Magic Box with me."

"Sure, but we have to wait for Tara or Willow to get home so Dawn doesn't have to be alone with the evil undead."

"I heard that Slayer!" Came the first words he had said to me in days from the living room.

"Buffy, I can handle Spike for a half an hour."

"Yeah Dawn, and everytime I leave you after you say something like that you end up kidnapped or attacked by demons. I'm not thinking that is such a good idea." as if by divine intervention Willow walked through the kitchen doors.

"Giles!" she ran over and hugged him.

"Will, you're home early."

"Got out of class early, something about my professor and his TA needing some time. I'm thinking they aren't called TA's because they are teaching assistants!"

"Lovely, well Buffy can we go now, it is very important."

"Willow..."

"Yes I can watch Dawn and Spike. I picked up some blood on my way home, so at least someone will have a hot meal. I'm thinking pizza may be in order."

"Willow, you rule!" I was more than excited to get out of the house even if it was with Giles. I had barely left since our prisoner had moved in. "Shall we?" I looked at Giles and handed him my mothers car keys. No one really drove the Jeep any more, but it was still in running order, and there was no reason Giles shouldn't get to use it while he was here.

We left, and the ride mainly consisted of the sort of mindless chit chat we so rarely engaged in. I knew something had to be up, but what I wasn't sure I wanted to know. When we got to the Magic Box Anya was stocking shelves.

"Giles! Please tell me you are not here to conduct and oversight review of my operations. I promise, there is much money in the cash register, and I have recently branched into the lucrative world of eBay to get rid of excess stock."

"Anya, I swear the visit is strickly non-work related."

"Terrific, as there are only so many times I can stand having my dream pulled out from underneath me." She walked up and awkwardly wrapped her arms around Giles giving him a quick squeeze. "Welcome to Anya's Magic Box."

"Anya, err.. yes that is quite enough," He pried her off of him. "May we use the back room?"

"Sure. Buffy I need to talk to you when you are done training, its about that thing we were talking about. You know with the vibrators and loin cloths?"

"What!?!" Sometimes the girl just shocks the hell out of me.

"The vibrator and the loin cloth in the Sunnydale Jail Cell down town." She whispered at me.

"Oh, yeah, I remember!" Well at least she tried to put in sexual terms that Giles would block from his mind. "Yeah, later we can discuss that, stuff."

"Yes, perhaps we can do so over Sex on the Beach at the Bronze. The drink Sex on the Beach, not like I want to have sex with you, although I guess if you offered I probably wouldn't object seeing as you are a slayer and have a very pleasing shape, I am sure many orgasms would be involved."

"Anya, stop talking right now. I will see you later." She seriously made Spike look like the most rational human being ever. I headed to the back where I saw Giles go when Anya mentioned the word loin cloth.

"So Giles, what's up with the brief case of doom? Will it self destruct after we look at its contents? Was it sent to us from Scotland Yard?"

"Sit down Buffy. I have some explaining to do. Some things I didn't think we would have to get to."

"Uh oh, serious voice has kicked in, that means another apocalypse is on its way."

"No, fortunately this has nothing to do with that. This pertains to you, and your destiny, and your ancestors."

"So this is about the thingy I talked to you about on the phone. Listen, Spike said it was just some story, and well he doesn't even think its the truth, so no big, it's cool. I have stopped freaking over it already."

"When the slayer turns 21, if she turns 21, as watcher it was my job to reveal your history."

"Remember, not muc in the diaries, watchers get sad when their girls die?"

"This is a different sort of history, this is about origins."

"Oh you mean mud-faced-dread-locked 'I'm gonna kill you all in your dreams cos I'm primal and gross' first slayer origins? I've met her, she needs time at the spa."

Giles pulled something from the case. "Only two slayers in recent history have made it to 21 years of age. The first was a woman named Nikki Wood, the slayer in New York that Spike assumably killed. The second is you, although you are twice dead. I had to contact my mother to assemble the necessary items, literature, and stop off in New York to pick up the rest of the items to properly carry out the ritual."

"There's a ritual? Does it involve drugging me and feeding me to a completely ape-shit crazy vampire while locked in a house? I'm not so down with that plan."

"Not that kind of ritual. It is a story, and I need magic and some ancient items to carry out the spell with which you will see your history. I am long delayed in doing so as it slipped my mind when you were dead."

"Giles, can we put this in human?"

"What Spike told Willow wasn't completely wrong."

"Um, your mouth is moving, but I think the words are coming out wrong."

"Buffy, listen to me. What we are going to do here, tonight, will explain these things alright? as soon as Tara and Spike get here..."

"As soon as who? Spike? He isn't leaving the house remember?!"

"Tara has bound him, he can't do anything, she is bringing him, as they are both vitally important to carry this out. I predict that this may be why Nikki was killed by Spike, I think she was seeking him out."

"Spike hunts slayers, he found her, there was no seeking of any kind." Tara and Spike walked in at that moment, and my heart jumped into my throat. It was moments like this, watching him stride across the training room with that black duster flowing behind him, I swear he moved in slow motion, that made me realize how beautiful he really was. Like or love, he was a beautiful creature.

"'ello Rupert, a big shiny happy thanks for getting me out of the dungeon for a bit."

"Hi, Giles." Tara shyly responded.

"Looks like we are all set."

"Whoa Giles, all set for what? You know, one trip to England and it's back to King of Vague for you!"

"Buffy, it's going to be alright, you'll see, you'll understand. Trust me." Tara sat next to me, and her very presence calmed me.

"Giles I don't understand!" I was just getting frustrated because I didn't understand what was about to happen.

He assembled a few more things on a small table in front of me. Spike sat on my other side, I could smell the leather from his duster and the faint smell of cigarettes, it too calmed me slightly.

"Buffy, this is a shadow caster. It is old, ancient really, it is a relic from the time of the first slayer."

"Dread lock times, check."

"In order to carry forth the ritual we need both a Guardian and a vampire who's line carries back to the first. Tara is a Guardian, just as her mother was, just as her daughters will be. It is a sacred order of women who have sworn to protect the slayer and watch over the watcher's council, in the event they over step their bounds. Spike's line carries back to the first vampire, through Angelus and Darla, the Master and the vampire which created him, they lead back to the first."

"Yeah, and Angel didn't turn him. Dru did."

"Not true pet, Dru killed me, Angelus saved me."

"But wait, Guardian's? Where were these Guardian's when the Council tried to off me? Or when Glory showed up and they didn't want to tell me what she was?"

"I cannot stop the rites of passage. But I was there when they came about Glory, Travers knew who I was and that he would be forced to tell you or lose his position."

"Well, with the shadow caster, we drip the blood of each of you into the candle, in the center. Then I read from this book. The three of you join hands, and Buffy should go into a sort of hypnotic hallucinatory state in which all will be revealed."

"Again with the vague Giles. Can't you just tell me? I mean that would save us all the trouble and the blood letting and reading and..."

"Because he doesn't know, pet. Innit right Rupes?"

"Yes, sadly, there is no written accord of these events. They are only meant for a long lived slayer, not her watcher." Giles looked down at his watch, "We have to hurry, we have little time left." He passed a knife to Tara who sliced open her hand, passing the knife to me. I just stared at it in my hand, there was red on the blade, I was entranced by it. Spike nudged me and took the knife, opening both my hands with a single deft move on each palm. He then cut open his own and looked me straight in the eye.

"Trust me, I won't let anything happen to you ever, forever, as long as I live." There was something heartbreaking in the words, something that pulled at me.

"Buffy," Tara spoke and broke our stare, "You can't just watch you have to see, who you are, what may come, things that have passed. It is a journey but nothing will harm you, you understand this?"

My mouth was suddenly dry, "Yes." I croaked out. She leaned forward and drip blood onto the candle, Spike followed her lead. I sat forward and held both hands over it, watching the drops of currant fall, commingling with the drops from before.

"Now join hands, blood to blood." Giles said, and I couldn't resist. It was strange, but I wasn't afraid, I felt the anticipation that you feel right before you open presents, where you know good or bad this is about to happen. Giles lit the candle, which flared up in a green flame. Slowly the metal thingy with shapes cut into it started to spin. I got why it was called a shadow caster then, as I could see it cast shadows of figures onto the wall.

Giles began, "First there was the earth." He added a mound that I guess was symbolic of the earth. "Then came the demons." He added another figure to the caste. I almost laughed cos it was so ridiculous looking, all grr arrgg-ed out. "After demons, there came men." He added a figure of a dude, "The men found a girl, and took the girl to fight the demons, all demons." Then there was a crazy looking figure I am thinking was dreadlocked slayer chicka. "They tied her to the earth." The room started to spin faster and faster, the shadow casters started to move, not from spinning, but they started to reenact something. I got really really dizzy and blacked out.

The slayer wasn't looking well, looking dazed, a bit out of it. Then she went slack, falling forward into her own lap.

"Don't let go of her hands.Close your eyes." Giles announced, and then started speaking in a foreign tongue I haven't heard, and I've heard plenty. I could hear that Buffy had almost stopped breathing, her breaths so shallow that I was sure she was suffocating. Then I heard Tara's slow as well, both of their heartbeats joining into one, slow, pounding, drum. The drumming took over my ears, and it felt as if the world had fallen away.

Then it seemed almost as if I had awoken from a dream. The three of us were standing together, in the desert, in broad daylight. I could feel the warmth of the rays penetrating my skin right down to my bones. It felt amazing, if anything this was worth it to feel this way. Both girls looked at me as if I were about to start on fire, but I didn't.

"Spike, you're..." Buffy started to say but the words came out slowly, like her mouth was trapped in honey.

"Not burning up, thanks for the keen observation, love."

"We have to get moving. It will begin soon. You have to see it." Tara began heading up a dune. Buffy and myself just looked at each other and with a shrug followed her. Once at the top we saw a small village of huts. "We need to be there." Tara pointed at a hut on the outskirts, "She will be awake soon." It didn't even really seem to be Tara though, almost as if she were possessed, but not in a pea soup spewing sort of way.

As we walked down the dune the sky changed to night. Buffy took my hand when we were half way down. I could feel the doubt flow through her. "You're safe, I'm here." Was all I could muster.

We stood outside of the hut and a group of men in robes came out. Tara stepped aside, "See, Feel, Learn."

A girl, a girl who didn't look well crawled out of the hut. She sniffed the air like a dog, then cocked her head at one of the men. She stood up, swiveled her head on her neck, and as her face came forward I realized what she was. Her forehead was a series of stepped bumps, her eyes glowed golden, she opened her mouth to growl and revealed a set of elongated sharp as broken glass fangs. She was the mistake. I didn't want Buffy to have to watch this.

One of the men stepped up to her, "You are beautiful." He held out his hand, and when she took it, he shackled it to a tree. The girl looked puzzled, but didn't attempt to free herself.

"She isn't right. See the glow in her eyes, she stinks of evil." One of the men said.

The oldest of the three spoke next, "She hungers and craves in ways we cannot understand. She will make a fine warrior, seeking death and vengeance for her former kind."

The first man walked up to her and brushed the hair off her forehead, running a finger against the bumps. "This certainly wasn't expected."

"The hemorragic demon she was made from carried similar traits, this is no surprise." The eldest responded and turned away.

The second man walked to the second. "She is dead, yet walking, this is not right. She must be destroyed."

"She's beautiful. Look at the way she commands you to look at her." He ran his hand down the side of her body. "So lithe, graceful, dangerous."

"She is not right." As he turned and left the girl spoke.

"Come to me." She reached for the man who trusted her. "Be my first." She yanked her arm free of the shackle, easily breaking it. She grabbed him and ripped at his throat, draining him in seconds. She slashed her arm and let the blood drip into his mouth. "Your warrior, is now your leader." She said before she turned and ran into the village. All we heard were screams. I looked to Buffy and saw tears in her eyes, she turned to me and mouthed the words "It's True." The look of pain in her eyes could have killed me right there. I looked into her green eyes, brimming with tears, her lower lip beginning to quiver, and my mind went empty, all I could think to say was, "Just keep breathing love, just keep breathing."