A/N: Not too much of a note here. Extra long chapter cos I didn't think it was fair to split it in half. Enjoy.

I'm so glad you came, I'm so glad you remembered.
To see how we're ending, Our last dance together.
Expectant. Too puctual.
But prettier than ever.
I really believe that this time it's forever.

But older than me now. More constant. More real.
And the fur and the mouth and the innocence,
Turned to hair and contentment,
That hangs in a basement.
A woman now standing where once,
There was only a girl.

I'm so glad you came, I'm so glad you remembered.
The walking through walls in the heart of December.
The blindness of happiness.
Of falling down laughing.
And I really believed that this time was forever.

But Christmas falls late now.
Flatter and colder,
And never as bright as when we used to fall.
All this in an instant. Before I can kiss you.
A woman now standing where once,
There was only a girl.

I'm so glad you came. I'm so glad you remembered.
To see how we're ending. Our last dance together.
Reluctantly. Cautiously.
But prettier than ever.
I really believe that this time it's forever.

But Christmas falls late now.
Flatter and colder,
And never as bright as when we used to fall.
And even if we drink,
I don't think we would kiss in the way that we did,
When the woman was only a girl. -Last Dance R. Smith, The cure

It was Saturday afternoon. Thursday and Friday had dragged by, but today, well it seemed to be going too fast. Tara and Willow tethered my soul to my body, guaranteed to have no 'perfect happiness' clause. And now, well now I was sitting on the bench in the backyard, waiting for who? The damn reaper? Everyone was at the house. Even Anya took the day off, why I do not know. She's one odd girl, demon, whatever. I fled the house about a half an hour ago. I actually think they are enjoying blacking out the windows, it's like some weird party ritual to them.

I haven't seen Spike since the night I found out. He did sneak in and share my bed each of the last nights, but I did my best to not let him know I knew he was there. Last night he left a note. It was strange, the only other vampire notes I had ever recieved were from Angelus, and they were generally along the Psychotic Warning vein. But the handwriting was different, it wasn't what I had known, instead it was more of a flowery scrawl. So flowery that for a second I didn't think it was his. I forgot that back in the day penmanship was like an art or something. It was simple, just a folded card with my name on it, inside all it said was: Tonight.

Tonight it would really happen. Tonight I would die, again. Tonight everything would change, but in a way nothing would.

I heard a rustling of the bushes at the very back of the yard. I knew who it was.

"Spike, isn't it a little early for you to be out wandering around?"

"Sun's low enough, thought I'd go for a walk, clear the webs out of the old cranium."

"So along with this whole vampire thing, my brain is going to dry up and leave nothing but an empty cavity? You know a few times when I hit you in the head I could have sworn I heard a hollow noise."

"Funny, pet." He walked out from the bushes, but hugged the tree line. There was plenty of shade there. "Why aren't you in there making with the merry and the like?"

"I'm all merried out."

"Quite a nice sunburn you're working there. It's fetching, really, nothing like a tomato red girl to get the old juices pumping."

"Ugg." I was sunburned, my no sunscreen plan went horribly awry when I fell asleep on the beach.

"So you all ready?"

"For what? Death? Got a news flash for you Spike, I've been there twice."

"Not death, your last sunset. You really ought to head up the hill to catch a good glimpse of it. Nothing will ever compare to it again. It's one of those things that I wish I could have appreciated."

"Yeah, I think that's one of the many 'we love Buffy' group activities planned for my last day."

"Don't be so flip love. You've got a whole shack full of people who love you to pieces. Someday, you won't have any of them, so you might as well enjoy every second you have with them."

"I know, it's just, I guess, it's one of those things, once again I'm going to be something that none of them can really understand. First it was vampire slayer, and now it's just vampire. I just feel bad, like maybe I'm keeping them from having real lives."

"I think their real lives are here with you. Real lives don't get any realer and livlier than when you live on a hellmouth."

"I guess."

"Well, I should go now."

"Spike, wait." I stood up and walked towards him, "Thanks, if I don't say it again, well I'm sorry, but thanks for this. I don't think there's really anyone else I would trust to kill me. Hmm that sounds weird doesn't it?"

"A bit." I reached forward and hugged him. Hugged him like a friend, nothing more.

"So where are we going to do this? I predict you are in no mood for an audience, well more like I'm not in the mood to have all my pals watch me die, again."

"I was thinking the crypt. Come over when ever you feel like it. This is sort of your show tonight love. You get to decide the when, the where, the how. It's all up to you."

"Okay, I'll see you a little later." He turned and left. I turned and went back to the house.

An hour or so later we went up to the hill. The same hill that Angel tried to kill himself on, the one that looks over the whole town. It's a lovely view, and Spike was right, you really can't beat a sunset from up there. A short while later I left the house and headed to the crypt. I left all my friends behind. I left them in my near past, I had to walk away.

I had an idea of how long she could stand to be with her gang after sunset. I gave her 2 hours max. After talking to her this afternoon, I had one of those strokes of genius. An epiphany of sorts. Wasn't fair for her to go down without a fight. Any self respecting slayer wouldn't just let a vampire kill her. Plus I was a tad concerned that it might get around that the slayer volunteered to join the league of undead Americans, which couldn't be good for either of our reputations.

I knew the way she took to my crypt, so I waited for her. I figured a little dancing never hurt anyone, right? When I saw her heading my way, I got ready, when she got close enough, I jumped her.

"Spike! What the hell?" She said as she flipped over a tombstone.

"Come on Love, play along! Little rough and tumble before your big night."

"I thought this was my night, my decisions?" She jumped back into fighting stance, flipping that blonde hair behind her, damn she's a beauty.

"I'm not known for keeping my word, love. Demon here remember?"

"But.." She put on the pout.

"Now that isn't going to stop me. You remember how this goes. We fight, you die. Really quite simple."

"And when did this become the plan?"

"When I figured out it wouldn't do either of us any good to have the whole demon underworld know that the slayer volunteered for immortality. Might make some of the more dangerous ones testy. You don't want to see a testy Shirago demon, it's even worse than when they sing and dance." Sometimes the truth actually works.

"Okay, I guess."

"I could knock you unconscious and drag you off to my lair, that might work eh?"

"Yeah, cos that plan always works so well."

"And you have a better one?"

"Yeah, we walk to your crypt, I take a spot on the couch, you kill me and turn me."

"That just seems... well unpoetic for starters."

"I can't believe we are going to fight about how I'm going to die."

"No reason to be surprised. We've always been best with each other when we were dancin'" Then I lunged at her. Fighting with her was one of the most freeing experiences I had ever had.

Warren stood on the outskirts of the cemetary. He was out of earshot of the conversation, but he could see it plain as day. The slayer and Spike were fighting, and well, frankly she didn't seem to have it in her. Spike was going to win, he was going to kill her, and D'Hoffryn would be very happy. So happy he might bring him on as a full time vengeance demon. Right now what he had going was temporary. If Spike didn't kill the slayer, and if Anya didn't come running back to the fold (with her former gusto), Warren wouldn't just be out of power. He'd be dead.

"So are we going to do this the easy way, or the hard way?" I chastized her. I knew how to push her buttons, among other things.

"Fine, if this is the way you want it, we'll fight. I just thought this was going to be simpler than this."

"Listen love, I've got 2 slayers under my belt, if I'm adding a thrid, she's going down fighting. I'm not about to let you roll over and play dead."

And so we started to fight. She was trying, not very hard, but she was trying. I guess it's a bit hard to put your heart in it when you know its the last fight you will ever have. Soon though, she fell into the easy rhythm we so many times had found. It probably sounds a bit romantic to say that we didn't fight, we danced. I remembered Nikki clear as day, she was one hell of a dancer. But Buffy, well, lets just say Nikki was in the chorus and Buffy's the fuckin' prima-ballerina.

I knew though, that to win this fight, I would have to be the one to step on someone's toes. I would have to drop the beat, and pick up a new one, one that could grab her and drag her away.

"Buffy, love, you know what?"

"What Spike" She panted backing up slightly before kicking out at me.

I grabbed that foot and twisted her leg so she came down hard, "I think I'm having myself a right fine day."

"Peachy." She looked up at me and I saw it. She was done.

"I'm sorry pet." I said.

"For wha... ohhh" I hit her hard on the head, hard enough to knock her out, but not to do any real damage. Then I picked her up, and carried her off.

I woke up in the crypt, on Spike's bed. More or less in Spike's bed, he covered me with the velvet blanket. My head was pounding. He had lit up the crypt with all of his candles. It really wasn't so awful a place anymore. He really had done a nice job. It fit him, it was Spike.

"How's the head, love?"

"It's like a whole marching band is marching out of synch in my head."

"Sorry 'bout that, but I swear it was for your own good. If anyone saw us they think I kicked your ass."

"Wow, and you did that for my reputation?" Sarcasm is my friend.

"Never claimed to be selfless."

"Apparently. What time is it?"

"Almost midnight."

"So when are we gonna do this?"

"As soon as you are ready."

"We should probably just get this over with. I mean, I've got an unlife to live!" I tried to sound cheery, but I really couldn't be. This was scary.

"If you want to wait, we can. we don't have to do this right now, you know that right?"

"Yeah, but I mean I'm probably as ready for this as I'll ever be." He walked over to the bed and sat down next to me. He brought up his hand and moved the hair off my neck.

"Are you sure?"

"As sure as I think one gets over this." He looked sad. That was really the only way to put it. I could see he was apprehensive.

"I remember the first time I saw you, you were nothing but a slip of a girl. For all you had faced and all you had battled you were still this innocent little thing. Just trying to make it through her life as normal as possible. I became enamored by you. I was near to obsessed with killing you."

"Thanks for the pep talk." He shushed me, and looked me straight in the eye.

"And now there is nothing that terrifies me more than being responsible for your death. I blamed myself last time, but it wasn't my fault. This time it will be. And now, now you aren't a girl anymore are you? Your mum would have been so proud of you for what you did for Dawn." I could see he was trying to hold something back, "Buffy, I will never leave you unless you ask me to. Even then I won't be far from you in case you ever need me. I will take care of you if you need me to, I will do whatever you need me to do to help you. I love you, and you really can't change that, no matter how hard you fight me on it, I'm going to love you. Now you are going to need that more than ever. Just remember I am always here."

"I know." I couldn't help it I think a tear rolled down my cheek. He wiped it away, and moved in on my neck. Very quietly, so near to silence I wasn't sure I had actually heard it he said "'m sorry love." Then he bit down.

This wasn't like when Angel bit me. Angel was more, well, savage. Spike was trying not to hurt me. At first it did hurt a bit, but then it was more, nice, some might even say pleasurable. Hell, who am I kidding, it was damn exhilirating, and it kinda turned me on. Then I got floaty, I could feel myself nodding in and out, I didn't think it would be this fast. Then everything went black.

She went slack in my arms. It had been years since I had fresh human blood corsing through this old shell of mine, it was bloody magnificent. When I looked down at her, it hurt. She was dead. By my hand, just as planned. But now I wasn't too sure I could seal the deal. She just looked so damn peaceful, and I wondered if for these fleeting moments she was in heaven, and then I wondered if she would remember that this time I ripped her out of there. I whispered in her ear 'I love you.'

It was seconds only, but I found myself slicing open my wrist and holding it to her mouth, I did it by reflex only, and not by will. Perhaps it was my subconscious that wanted to do it, and thus put the wheels in motion. Then it was all done, and all I had to do was wait. A sudden wash of emotion came over me. Anyone who tells you vampires don't have emotions is full of bollocks, alternately they may just not know a vampire. But this rush of feeling was stronger than any I had felt before, it actually physically hurt.

It was a pain that sliced through me, it was so strong that I fell off the bed. It felt like someone was clawing at my insides, something inside me stirred, and I felt like I was dying all over again. This hadn't happened with the Chinese Slayer so I can only attribute this to Buffy, but I think it was that moment that it came true. She really was my soul, and now a part of hers was taking over me.