Author's Note: I'm trying to limit my ramblings. I want to say thanks for all the reviews (as usual) and keep 'em coming!!

Warren had followed Spike and the Slayer back to the crypt. He had hung low, and eventually found one of the little windows that he could sort of see through. He saw everything he needed to know. Spike drained Buffy right before his eyes. It was all he needed to see. Now there was someone else he needed to see.

He headed back to his house where he went to D'Hoffryn. He explained everything to D'Hoffryn, about the slayer being dead, about Spike doing it, everything.

"It was nothing personal. I really had no issue with the slayer. She never really bothered any of us. But, it was partly her fault that Anyanka just isn't the same. I know Anyanka needed some time to get readjusted, but I felt as long as she stayed with those mortals she would always let them guide her morals. We don't have morals." D'Hoffryn explained, "Are you sure this wasn't just one of their sexual encounters? The slayer and her vampire like it a bit rough, or so we've been told."

"Not unless they are into death roleplaying. She was dead. Dead as in door nail."

"Good. How long do you think it will take for the news to spread?"

"I was planning on delivering it myself. I'm pretty sure they would like nothing more than to dust Spike after what he has done. I'd be more than happy to be the bearer of bad news."

"Do you think that's smart? They aren't fans of yours, I doubt they would let you get away."

"When they are that broken up about their poor, dead Buffy? Please they'll be more interested in getting rid of Spike than holding me hostage."

"Fine then, deliver the news. Bring Anyanka back with you."

"But she doesn't know what I am."

"Well, she's going to soon enough. Might as well let the cat out of the bag. My Anyanka's a smart girl, I don't like to play favorites. Hell, yes I do, she is my favorite of all of you. You bring her back to me, you help me get her out of this goddess foresaken Hell Mouth, and I will reward you. Remember that. Now go, I'm sick of looking at you." With that Warren left Arashmahal and headed back to Sunnydale. Dimensional teleporting still wasn't easy for him, but it was the only way to get home.

Where ever I was it was dark. Pitch black actually. I thought that I was in a coffin, again. I was wrong, I hadn't opened my eyes yet. I was still in Spike's tomb, on the bed. It was dark outside, and there was no alternate light source in the tomb. I could see clear as day. Now I know why vampires never had night sight issues. It was loud, and it stank. It was like all of a sudden I could hear everything. Every rat downstairs, every leaf rustling outside, but what was even more disturbing was I didn't hear a heartbeat, mine was gone, my heart didn't pump, it kind of a strange feeling when you are so used to it. The smell? Well what can I say, the world is a damn smelly place, even moreso if you're a vampire.

"Spike?" I called out. Only after that did I hear him. He was on the far side of the room, mumbling.

"Sorry, so sorry. I killed her and she and you, killed you all, all my fault. William's been a naughty boy, the constable will have none of it. Dead all dead." He was rocking back and forth holding his knees to his chest in the corner. I kneeled down to him and touched his face.

"Spike? What's wrong?"

He screamed when he looked at me. "My fault, my fault, made you into a monster. Have to stop it. Have to stop it." He got up and was looking for something.

"Spike, what are you talking about? When did you go all Rain Man on me?"

"There you go, there, now heaven's angels won't have to look too far for you." He had a stake and was coming at me. I grabbed his arm and pinned it behind him, and threw him on the floor, loosening the stake from his grips, letting it fly across the room. Think that whole vampire thing made me just a bit stronger, or he was somehow weaker.

"Spike what the hell is wrong with you?!?"

"Made you ugly. Made you like me, filled you up with the evil, now I have to stop you." I reached up and touched my face. Sure enough, bumpies were there, I nicked my finger on one of my fangs. The metallic smell of my own blood was amazing, of all the stinky things in this world, blood might as well have smelled like roses.

"Spike, how do I make the bumpies go away? Come on, concentrate here. How do I change back to human face?"

"Sometimes you think real hard about how much you've done. You don't feel bad, but then, then this hits you. Angelus should have warned me. Should have told me what it was like."

"How do I fix my face Spike?" I was getting impatient, impatient at a rate much quicker than before.

"Bloody hell! Just think about it pet, it'll go away!" He almost sounded lucid. He was scaring me, it was like he was Drusilla, but without the whole creepy seeing thing. I thought about it, and felt my face change back. It felt wierd, like my skin was going to crawl off my face. I guess that was beause it was, sort of. "You'll need to feed soon. In the fridge is a quart of pigs blood, drink it down otherwise you won't be able to control the demon."

"Spike? Are you okay now? What was going on?"

"Don't know, things have been off since... since I fed you. Thought at first it was cos I hadn't fed off a person in so long, but now, Buffy, it hurts."

"What hurts?"

"It's like a flame inside of me. It's like your blood is boiling me from the inside out."

"We need to see Giles, he'll know what to do."

"Can't, you need to eat otherwise you might make your friends into your first meal."

"Doubt it, I'm feeling pretty normal. I mean why didn't you tell me that Sunnydale smells this bad?"

"You sort of don't notice it after a bit."

"Great. Well I don't feel like hurting anyone, or being all 'grr'. I think my soul is stay-put-y."

"I wouldn't be so sure, love." I hadn't noticed before, but Spike looked awful. His hair was a mess, he was covered in dirt and god knows what. His shirt was torn up pretty bad, and his eyes, I could swear there was something there that I hadn't seen before. Like this fire within.

"Fine, I'll eat up, and we'll go see the gang. Something's up." I was worried about him. As quickly as the 'normal' Spike showed up, he disappeared leaving only this blabbering crazy man. Something definately didn't go as expected.

There were spots in my memory I couldn't fill. For some time after the pain started I basically was knocked out. Then the memories started flooding the very recesses of my mind. The only explanation I could offer was that maybe I sucked her soul out of her. I know it sounds strange, but when you're laying on a crypt floor talking to imaginary dead people, these notions don't strike you as odd. I hurt, that was for sure. Felt like someone was ripping my intestines out and making a lovely neck scarf out of them. I had seen it done, I could imagine the pain of evisceration.

I wasn't so sure heading off to the Scooby Gang was a brilliant move. As I still wasn't sure she even had a soul. She did seem to be handling her transformation surprisingly well. But as I could barely remain stable long enough to comprehend what may have been going on, I surely couldn't stop to make sure the soul was stuck in her. I know she was looking at me as though I had turned bat-fuck insane. I couldn't blame her.

Some where in my head though I was thinking rationally. I remembered fighting her in the cemetary, I remembered he cell phone in her jacket. I wandered the room as she ate. It was strange seeing her suck down a quart of blood like it was a diet cola. I guess all her concerns about my disgusting habits had gone astray at the first sniff of blood. I grabbed the phone out of her jacket, I found it on the couch. I wandered over to her. My head was racing, trying to find the words I needed.

"Tara." I said as I handed her the phone.

"No, I'm Buffy, not Tara." She replied in a condescending tone.

"Call Tara." I got the words out before clutching my head. The agony was unbearable. I actually wanted to find that stake she ripped out of my hand earlier and stake myself.

The the images, ghosts perhaps, or maybe just hallucinations began again. I can't tell you if I was awake or knocked out or what, but they were all there: mother, slayers, girls in ball gowns, men in zoot suits, even that flower person I ate at woodstock. Different times, but all the same look of terror on their faces. It was as if they were all frozen at the second they realized they were going to die. They were all there, staring at me, wishing me the pain I gave to them.

I carried Spike all the way to the house. I didn't call Tara as he had requested, I figured we all needed to find out what the hell was going on. I opened the front door, but I couldn't get inside. An invisible barrier prevented me from entering my own house.

"DAWN!!! Get down here now!!" I yelled up the stairs. The house was mostly dark, a testament to me having no clue what time it was. Dawn came down the stairs with Willow and Tara close behind.

"Hey Buffy, how are you? Oh my god! What did you do to Spike?"

"Why does everyone automatically assume I did something to him? Couldn't he have just been like this, through no fault of my own??"

"What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know." I was getting short with her, and she could hear the anger in my voice.

"Buffy are you okay? I mean do you have your soul?"

"Yes I have my damn soul!"

"You seem kinda cranky."

"You would be too if you woke up to Spike babbling like an idiot and making no sense, then having a moment of clarity, then turning back into an idiot!"

"It's okay Dawn, she's got an aura." Tara intervened.

"Fine, Buffy, Spike, come on in."

"You didn't need to invite Spike." I told her.

"We disinvited him in case things didn't go well."

"Terrific."

I laid Spike on the couch. Even with vampire and slayer strength he was heavy. Tara leaned over to Willow and whispered something. I could hear every word.

"So Tara, Spike's got an aura too? Vampire here remember? Ears like a bat?"

"Yeah, well I think Spike has..."

"Don't even say it Tara, he doesn't have a soul unless you stuck one in him."

"Buffy, you know how my spells have a tendancy to go kinda wonky? Side effects and all that?" Willow started.

"Willow, please tell me one of the side effects wasn't this." I pointed to Spike.

"When we tied your soul to you, well..."

"What Willow's trying to say is we tied it to your blood. Vampires take blood, but they also give it back, we figured that Spike would give back enough of your blood to give you back your soul."

"You guys are amazingly stupid! We have been working on vampires for what, 6 years now? When they turn someone they don't give back all of the blood!" Frustration doesn't even begin to describe how I felt.

"We know that, we were sort of counting on something else."

"What that the stars would align and the whole world would become a pretty place full of puppies and Christmas mornings!?"

"We were counting on him making you into his Childe. He would have given you back more blood than usual, which hey, he did otherwise you'd be aura free." Willow said.

"Childe? What?"

"We better call Giles. Dawn could you?"

"I'm on it." Dawn went to the kitchen to get the phone.

"What did you two do? I should have known better than to trust any sort of magick from the two of you! With Willow's addiction issues, and Tara wandering around for the last 2 years as some sort of covert guardian I should have known not to trust the two of you!" I was mad, and hurt, and a little bit out of control.

"Buffy, we didn't mean to do this."

"So what! That doesn't make this better! I've got a crazy as hell Spike, and no pulse! Sounds like my unlife is going to suck just as much as my human life!"

"Buffy, calm down." Tara tried to stop me, but before I could control it I had changed. My game face came out and from the looks on their faces, I wasn't a pretty vampire. I think I may have growled.

"Fuck!" I was pacing and full of rage. I wanted someone to blame but there wasn't anyone.

"Love?" It was Spike.

"Shut up crazy freak! What are you seeing the fairies? Want to have some tea with a fucking china doll?"

"Love, you've got to calm down. It's the only way you'll snap out of face." Spike was lucid again, he grabbed my arm and was squeezing my wrist hard..

"Spike, something's happened to you, and it's their fault." I pointed at Willow and Tara.

"And love, something's going to happen to you like a stake through the chest if you don't wipe that look off your face before the watcher gets here."

I did my best to calm down and I felt my face shift back, he let go. "There, you happy now?"

"No, but at least you look better."

"Spike? How do you feel?" Tara apprehensively asked.

"Horrible. Yup, that about sums it up. Horrible."

"How do you think he feels? I think the agonizing screams should have tipped you off!"

"Buffy?" Spike rarely used my name, when he did I knew it was important, "What's got your knickers in a twist?"

"You've got my fucking soul in you, that's what's wrong!" The understanding spread over his face and his eyes rolled back up into his head, that's when the screaming and carrying on began again. "See? This is what you did to him!"

"You're only half right." Willow said sheepishly.

"What do you mean?"

"He's only got half your soul."