Here's the next chapter, even though I got NO reviews. I'm just hoping that something went horribly wrong and no one saw it. Or maybe I desperately want people to read this since I have 3 stories after this one and if no one likes this one, my life has been a waste. I don't own Inuyasha or any future Matrix references.
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Chapter 2: Disrespect for the judicial system! Morphius kills lawyers!
+Face it Hiten. I own you.+
Rumiko Takahashi's lawyers: Excuse me, Morphius. Did you just claim ownership to Hiten®, sole property of Rumiko Takahashi?
+No. Wait! I. . . uh. . . uh. . . read the disclaimer! I already said. . . *sigh*. . . Take the four dollars you bloodthirsty leeches! *throws wallet into the sunset*+
Lawyers chase after wallet.
+Damn lawyers. . . hang on! I'm the author! I don't have to pay greedy lawyers! And Kikyo came and dragged them all into the depths of Hell, where they belong!+
Rumiko Takahashi's lawyers: No!!
+There. *retrieves nearly empty wallet* Now Kikyo has company and maybe she'll stop trying to drag Inuyasha into the depths of Hell.+
Inuyasha: Feh. You wish! Chicks dig me! She'll never stop!
Kouga: *appearing in tornado thingy that he does* Oh yeah? Well as you know, dog turd, chicks dig me a lot more!
Inuyasha: In your dreams! I know Kikyo loves me more than she'd every love you!
Kagome: *vein throbbing* Grrrrr. Sit boy!
Inuyasha plummets to the ground
Kouga: Take that! *puts arm around Kagome* So you see, my love, I am far better than that worthless half-demon. So why don't you just admit your true feelings for me and get on with it?
A bolt of lightning from Hiten's Raigekijin strikes Kouga. Kouga shakes off the ash and runs away.
Hiten: *eyes Inuyasha hungrily* Can I?
+No.+
Hiten: *the best sad puppy face I've ever seen, even compared to some of the ones I've done* Pretty please?
+Maybe later.+
Hiten flies away.
Kagome: Thank you.
+No problem. I'm all for the good of humanity.+
Shippo: Yeah right! And Miroku's not a pervert.
The kitsune is whapped repeatedly by a certain monk.
+Shippo-chan?+
Shippo: Yes?
+Do you really want me to bring back Hiten?+
Shippo grows pale and shuts up.
+That's better. Well, as you may remember, a while back, we had talk of a plot.+
Inuyasha: What's a plot?
Myouga: A plot is the story or sequence of events in a narrated or presented work such as a novel, play, or movie, milord.
Inuyasha: Where the hell did you come from?
Myouga: Uh
Miroku: And your definition really sounds like you read it straight out of a dictionary.
Myouga: *hides tiny dictionary in vest* Uh. . . *zips away*
Sango: He's gone!
Inuyasha: Yeah, little. . . wait. Where have you been?
Sango: I've been here the whole time.
+Yes, she has. I've just been neglecting her.+
Shippo: That's not very nice.
+Whoever said I was nice?+
Shippo: Yeah, good point.
+But sadly, as much fun as that was, I must get this story moving. And suddenly. . .
A middle school kid appears out of nowhere.
Inuyasha: Suddenly what?!?! Come on! I wanna know! *notices girl* Hey, who the fuck are you?
+Jess, what the hell are you doing here?+
Miroku: You know this girl, Morphius?
+Of course I do, you piece of crap. She's my little sister.+
Jess: *hands on hips* Yeah. Oh, Morphius, Mom wants you to go downstairs and eat dinner. And you're grounded for two weeks. She sorta "found" that test you failed.
+YOU TOLD HER? YOU LITTLE. . .! I'LL KILL YOU!!
Sango: Wait. Throughout this entire story, we've been living in fear of a kid?
Jess: In fear of *laughs* Wow, you did good.
+Shut up!+
Jess: Yeah yeah. So, here's a picture of your Supreme Leader Morphius *whips out horrible 3rd grade picture and hands it to Miroku*
+I thought I burned that!+
Jess: You thought wrong. *suddenly noticed Inuyasha* OH MY GOD! It's Inuyasha! You're so hot! *grabs Inuyasha and hugs him*
Inuyasha: *eyes wide* Uhhh. . .
Miroku: *laughing, tears in his eyes* This picture. . . it's awful! *hands it to Sango and continues laughing*
Sango and Kagome both look at the picture and burst out laughing.
Shippo *jumping up and down* Let me see it!!
Suddenly the picture catches fire and burns until it is nothing but ash.
+And I guess that's that. Moving on. . .+
Jess: *finally getting off Inuyasha* I made a copy. *gives it to Inuyasha* Here you are, my love.
Inuyasha: *eyes still wide* Uh. . . thanks. *glances at picture and bursts out laughing*
+Now that you've ruined my life, sister dear, how 'bout you leave so I can get back to my fanfic? Now listen up. . .+
Inuyasha: Sure, we'll listen to you. . . NOT! *continues laughing, rolling around on the ground, tears in his eyes*
+Go for it, Hiten.+
Hiten, who has been waiting in a tree for Inuyasha to screw up like this, jumps out of the shadows and hits Inuyasha with all the power the Raigekijin can muster.
+Not that much Hiten. I want him to feel every minute of this. So just enough that he remains conscious.+
Hiten: You got it!
Inuyasha: *screaming in agony* Make it stop! For the love of all that is holy, make it stop!
+What's that? I can't hear you. I have decided to read the dictionary from A-Z. Maybe when I finish, I'll have him stop.+
Inuyasha: NO!!!
Jess: Come on, I'm really sorry. . . Supreme Lord and Master Morphius. Just don't do this to Inuyasha!
+Very well. Just a little more Hiten.+
Jess: Why?
+Because he made fun of me, duh. *whistles and files nails* Ok, that's good.+
Hiten: *lowering Raigekijin* That was a lot of fun! Thanks Morphius!
+You're welcome. Now, could you please shock Jess for me? Not enough to kill her though.+
Hiten: No problem. *aims Raigekijin at Jess*
Jess: Uh oh. *gets electrocuted for about 10 seconds*
+That's good Hiten.+
Hiten flies away.
Jess: Ow.
Inuyasha: *whapping Jess on head* Shut up, stupid! You got ten seconds, I got five minutes!
Jess: . . .
Miroku: This doesn't seem right.
Inuyasha: Yeah, getting electrocuted doesn't seem morally just.
Miroku: That's not what I mean.
Sango: Then what do you mean?
Miroku: We've haven't run into the usual bad guys.
Shippo: Maybe we should count our blessings.
Kagome: But, still, it's kinda unnerving. Like we're being lulled into a false sense of security.
Jess: Shippo is right. Morphius is the only one you really have to worry about.
Sango: What about Kagura? Naraku? Sesshomaru?
Jess: *burst out laughing* Sesshomaru? What a fem boy! Honestly, he's such a sissy. With his stupid eye shadow and fruity kimono.
Unbeknownst to her, Sesshomaru and Jaken have just arrived on the two-headed dragon demon thingy behind her and have heard Jess's entire rant. Jess takes no notice.
Jess: *in high pitched tone much different from her normal gruff voice using the stereotypical Sesshomaru lisp* I'm Thethoumaru-thama. I think I'm tho great. I think I'll go wath my hair with thome Herbal Ethentheth.
Everyone notices Sesshomaru and hint Jess to shut up. Except for Inuyasha, who is rolling on the ground with laughter. However, those of the Inuyasha gang with fully developed brains were nervously twitching to try and get her to shut her yap. But to no avail. Sesshomaru ran his Toxic Flower Claw through her. Jess choked for a bit and fell over dead.
+Yay! No. Oh crap! She's dead! My mom'll kill me! Damn it. But no one heard any of that because I said so. So it is written, so it shall be.+
Sesshomaru: Foolish human. Mocking me like that. And what is this Herbal Essences she spoke of?
Kagome: *pulling yellow bottle out of bag* This is Herbal Essences.
Jaken: Gimme that! *grabs bottle and opens it* Mmmm. Smells good. Can you eat it? *chugs bottle and spits it out* Ewww! *chokes and falls over dead*
Kagome: Did I mention it was toxic? He he he. ^_^
Everyone cheers, especially Rin, who appears from behind Sesshomaru.
Rin: Jaken gone! Yay!
Sesshomaru: *mildly surprised* Rin? *sighs* It doesn't matter. I will still crush you once and for all, Inuyasha!
+I think not.+
Sesshomaru: *smirks* Oh really. Why is that?
+Because you killed my sister. And normally, I would openly rejoice at this. But now, thanks to you, I will probably be grounded until the day I die. So why don't you just leave before you cause any more damage?+
Sesshomaru: And why should I listen to you?
Hiten flies in and shocks Sesshomaru before flying away again.
Sesshomaru: *shakes off the ash and mutters obscenities which I kindly disregarded * Come, Rin.
They get on the two-headed dragon and take off.
Inuyasha: Well, that was quick.
Shippo: Kinda nice for a change.
Miroku: Yeah, but. . .
Kagome: But what?
Miroku: It's rather boring when Morphius slays all of our opponents for us.
Sango: He's right. Where's the fun in that?
Inuyasha: Yeah. *yelling at the sky* Hey Morphius, if you're so tough, why don't you come down here and face us yourself, you pathetic coward?
+As you wish.+
A flash of blue lightning illuminates the sky and the Supreme Lord and Master Morphius appears before them. She's actually a teenage girl with shoulder length dark brown hair and brown/green eyes, wearing a grey t-shirt with dragons on it, tan cargo pants, and black combat boots.
Inuyasha: Huh?
Sango: Morphius is a. . .
Kagome: Girl?
Morphius: Uh, yeah. Couldn't you tell?
Shippo: Not from that picture your sister had. *sees glare from Morphius and shuts up*
Miroku: *taking Morphius's hand* Morphius, since you are a really, really gorgeous girl, would you be willing to bear my child?
The only response Miroku gets for that is a good taste of Morphius' boot. Miroku goes flying and lands in a tree.
Kagome: Go Morphius!
Sango: . . .
Morphius: Apparently, you're still mad about my forcing you to kiss him at the beginning of the fanfic, are you not?
Sango: *face turns slight shade of green as she recollects the incident* Uh yeah. . .
Morphius: Well, I had to prove my awesome power. And I know you like him.
Sango: O_O I. . . Of course I don't!
Morphius: *flat unbelieving stare* Sure.
Miroku: *still in tree* Don't deny it Sango! You know you love me!
Sango throws the hiraikotsu. It hits Miroku, knocking him out of the tree and into a raging river that just so happened to be underneath it.
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Morphius: Review, damn it, review! Hell, even if you thought it sucked! Something, anything. Flames willbe used to roast Jaken! Ciao!!