So, if you're still reading, thanks so very much. If you're tempted to stop, don't worry, it gets funnier. Commence chapter! ***********************************************************************
Chapter 3: Catastrophe! Inuyasha battles Morphius and Shippo is lost!
Myouga: Shouldn't someone go get him?
Morphius: Don't worry. He'll be fine.
Kagome: Myouga, where did you come from?
Myouga: Uh. . .
Inuyasha: Don't matter to me. *draws Tetsusaiga and points it at Morphius* The only thing I want is revenge!
Morphius: *looking sweet and innocent* Whatever do you mean, Inuyasha?
Inuyasha: Don't be stupid!
Morphius: No, that's your specialty, is it not?
Inuyasha: *vein throbbing* Quit it. I want to get even with you for shocking me so bad! *Inuyasha crackles with electricity *
Morphius: Very well, I'll fight you. And I will win.
Inuyasha: Yeah. In your dreams.
Morphius: Well, what are you waiting for?
Inuyasha: . . .
Morphius: If I didn't know better, I'd say you were scared.
Inuyasha: Feh. You wish. I've just never met anyone who was so eager to die.
Morphius: Likewise.
Inuyasha: What did you just call me?
Myouga: No Lord Inuyasha, she said likewise, a word used to state that the same applies in a second or subsequent case.
Inuyasha: *looking dumber that normal* What?
Myouga: *sigh* It means that what you just said about Morphius applies to you as well. Get it?
Inuyasha: No, but I'll pretend I do.
Miroku: *dripping wet* Ha, I knew it! *grabs Myouga's tiny dictionary* You've been using this all along!
Myouga: Uh. . . *zips away*
Miroku: *scanning tiny book* Jackpot! This is all the info Myouga ever gives us. We don't need him anymore!
Shippo: Lemme see that! *knocks Miroku and tiny book into river* Oops. Sorry.
Inuyasha: Will y'all shut up? Me and her were gonna fight!
Morphius: Yeah, we were. *snaps fingers*
Inuyasha: *snickers* What's the matter? Need your minion to fight for you?
Hiten flies in.
Hiten: What's up Morphius? Want me to punish Inuyasha?
Morphius: That's not what I needed, but go ahead. Just a little.
Hiten shocks Inuyasha for about a second.
Morphius: That's good. Now, could I borrow the Raigekijin?
Hiten: Hell no!
Morphius: *sad puppy face, even better than Hiten's* Pwease? It's to beat Inuyasha.
Hiten: Oh. . . ok. *tosses Raigekijin to Morphius*
Morphius: Thanks. Now then, Inuyasha, let's go!
Inuyasha charges at Morphius. She dodges and hits Inuyasha square in the stomach with the Raigekijin. He flies back and hits a tree. Slowly, Inuyasha gets to his feet and stands on wobbly knees, barely able to remain standing.
Morphius: *aiming Raigekijin for another attack* Is that all you got? That's pretty pathetic. I thought you'd be able to last a little longer, since you are Inuyasha. You have your own show, but you can't beat me. *shaking head* So sad.
Inuyasha: *still shaking* I'll never lose to the likes of you!
Inuyasha charges everyone's favorite author. Morphius, once again, dodges the assault and hits him with a finishing blow, which throws our favorite half-demon back against the tree, where he slides down, unconscious.
Hiten: *landing and poking Inuyasha* Damn woman. You did quite a number on him.
Shippo: *laughing* Yeah she did better against him than you did.
Morphius: *tossing the Raigekijin back to Hiten* Knock yourself out.
Morphius turns around as Hiten does his stuff. When she turns back around, Shippo is dead, black and charred on the ground.
Morphius: I think you went a little too far Hiten.
Hiten: *lowering Raigekijin* What? Little brat pissed me off.
NO!! SHIPPO- CHAN!!!
Yet another middle school girl runs in. Weeping, she runs and hugs the charred-but-still-very-kawaii kitsune. Upon being hugged, Shippo's body crumbles into a pile of dust.
Girl: No!!!!!
Inuyasha: *slowly coming to* Who the hell is she?
Morphius: Liz, what the hell are you doing in my fanfic?
Liz: *stops weeping* You wrote me in, duh.
Morphius: Oh, yeah. So, what's up?
Liz: Well, I was looking for Jess.
Everyone: *sweat drop* Uh. . .
Liz: Well. Where is she?
Kagome: Well you see, Liz…
Morphius: *pointing* She's right over there.
Liz runs and finds Jess's mangled corpse on the ground next to Jaken's.
Liz: What did you do? What the hell did you do to Jess?
Morphius: I didn't do anything. It was all Sesshomaru.
Inuyasha: True, but you did sic him on her.
Morphius: Sit boy!
Inuyasha plummets to the ground.
Kagome: *eyes wide* Whoa! You can do that?
Morphius: Uh, yeah.
Sango: But. . . how?
Morphius: Actually, I can't do it with just "Sit" like Kagome can. After, I said that, I typed "Inuyasha plummets to the ground" which is what made him fall over like that.
Kagome: Cool. . .
Inuyasha: *getting up and rubbing head* No, not cool.
Sango: Wait. Where did that girl go?
Everyone turns to see Liz with Miroku, who, as I anticipated, has found his way out of that raging river. Again. They hide behind a tree to eavesdrop on their conversation.
Miroku: You know you're a really gorgeous girl. So I was wondering if you'd be willing to. . .
Morphius: Ahem.
Miroku: Hey Morphius. How the hell are ya?
Morphius: Oh Hiten. . .
Hiten shocks Miroku for about 30 seconds. But since the perverted monk was just previously thrown into the river and water conducts electricity, the effects were much more devastating. Miroku was engulfed in a massive explosion of blue lightning and now our favorite lecher lays unconscious on the edge of a massive crater where he had just been standing.
Miroku: . . .
Liz: That was pretty mean, Morphius. Miroku just said I look nice and that he wanted to ask me something.
Morphius: You gotta watch the show more.
Liz: Guess you're right. But what about Jess?
Morphius: I could bring her back to life, but. . .
Kagome: But what?
Morphius: Well, you see, she makes my life a living hell. What you're asking me to do would be like me asking you to bring Naraku back to life.
Miroku: *bolting upright and looking around frantically, nearly suffering from a heart attack* Naraku? Where?
Sango: He's not here. *hesitantly gives Miroku a quick hug*
Miroku ruins this brief but rather intimate moment by grabbing Sango's ass.
Sango: *hitting him over the head with the hiraikotsu* You pervert!
Morphius: Actually, you hugged him.
Sango: Grrrrr. . .
Morphius: Temper temper. Don't forget Sango. Even though I'm here in the flesh, I am still in control of the story. Now then, about bringing Jess and Shippo back to life. . .
Liz: Will you? Please?
Morphius: Oh, all right. *snaps fingers and Jess and Shippo rematerialize in front of them*
Liz: Shippo-chan! *hugs Shippo*
Jess: What am I? Chopped liver? *remembers vegetarianism* Ewww! Liver! Get it away! Get it away!
Inuyasha: Is she insane?
Morphius: What do you think?
Miroku: *stroking chin* Well, since she isn't mentally sound, perhaps she won't be so opposed to my pick up line. . .
Kagome, Sango, Jess and Liz: *hitting Miroku* You pervert!
Miroku: *rubbing head, sighs* At least Morphius didn't join in.
Hiten passes the Raigekijin to Morphius, who shocks the living daylights out of Miroku.
Morphius: Gee, thanks for reminding me.
Miroku: . . .
***********************************************************************
KEEP REVIEWING!!! All reviewers will get. . . uh. . . not killed by Morphius. Good deal, no?