Author's note:  Thank you so much to the three people who have submitted reviews.  Since I did not finish writing it before I began posting – unlike my usual practice – any encouragement to keep working on it is certainly helpful and appreciated! 

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Orestes lied.

Frank had no idea how long he'd been kept waiting, but he did know he'd had sufficient time to catalogue every single sexual act depicted in that vast, marvelous ceiling – noting more than a few he'd have loved to have the opportunity to try out.  Now he was restlessly pacing the room, getting more and more nervous as the minutes ticked relentlessly onward.  "She will join you shortly," indeed.

Finally, he wandered over to one of the sofas and, with an air of defeat, sank down onto it.  Suddenly remembering his disembodied state, he sprang up in a panic, thinking he would pass right through the cushions.  However, after a moment's reflection, he realized that hadn't happened, and he gingerly sat down again.  Perched on the very edge of the cushion, he closed his eyes and tried not to think about what was going to happen to him.

He thought back to his childhood religious training…not that religion was ever considered all that important by his family.  He tried his best to remember what he'd been taught about Riana, and could come up with nothing more specific than that She was supposed to be wise and all-powerful.  That was all fine and good, but it gave him no hint of how She might intend to deal with him now.

At long last, he sensed, rather than heard, that he was no longer alone in the room.  Opening his eyes, he saw…Her.

She was obviously a woman of "mature" years, but She possessed an ageless air of dignity and elegance that gave Her presence a suitable air of gravity.  Her hair was snow-white, thick, and extraordinarily long, hanging almost to her knees.  Her eyes were an icy, clear blue, and Frank felt a shiver go through his body when those eyes locked with his.  It was as if She could see right through to his soul…assuming a soul was something he actually possessed.

He stood up hastily, but before he could approach Her or utter a word, She held out Her hand to stop him.  He stood still, confused and frightened, and watched a smile spread across Her face.  The smile seemed to hold a wealth of information, but he realized he was either too stupid or too nervous to interpret it. 

Even under the present stressful circumstances, Frank's pride reasserted itself.  The thought flitted unbidden through his brain, "Let's just go with 'nervous,' shall we?"

Cutting off his thoughts, She finally spoke.  "Dr. Furter.  This is certainly a surprise."

Frank swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and replied, "It is a surprise to me as well…um…" He sighed.  "I apologize, but I'm afraid I don't know how you wish to be addressed."

She shrugged.  "There is no need to stand on ceremony.  You may call me Riana.  It is, after all, my name."

Frank nodded slowly and attempted to force a smile onto his face.  "Very well…Riana.  You may, of course, call me Frank."

He tried to keep from rolling his eyes at the inanity of his own comment.  He said to himself, "You may call me anything you wish, as long as you do not condemn me to eternal torment..."

Her smile took on a rather ironic edge, and Frank realized, to his horror, She could obviously read his mind.  He desperately tried to erase any and all thoughts from his brain, especially concentrating on not looking at that damn ceiling.

Still smiling, She waved him back toward the sofa.  "Please, Frank, have a seat.  We might as well conduct our discussion in comfort."

Obediently, he sat back down on the sofa, and Riana settled down in an overstuffed armchair right next to him.  Once seated, She withdrew a small notebook from a pocket within Her robes.  Frank recognized it as the same notebook Orestes had been carrying.

She opened the notebook and began reading, although Frank had the distinct impression She was already perfectly familiar with its contents.  After two or three minutes' perusal, She looked at Frank with an arched eyebrow. 

"My, my, Frank.  You certainly accomplished a great deal in a relatively brief length of time."

Frank smiled proudly.  "Thank you."

The eyebrow arched higher.  "That was not necessarily a compliment."

The smile quickly faded from his face.  "Oh."

Returning Her attention to the notebook, Riana flipped through several pages in quick succession.  Frank frowned, wondering what the pages contained.  Again reading his thoughts, She said, "These pages contain the names of all your lovers.  I wonder how many of the names inscribed here would mean anything to you, were I to read them aloud?"

Frank knew better than to attempt to lie to Her.  "Very few, I would assume."

Riana nodded, somewhat grimly.  "Yes, I would assume the same."  She looked back down at the notebook and read without further comment until She reached the last page.  With cool deliberation, She closed the book and looked at Frank with a heavy sigh.  Frank fought the urge to look away from her faintly accusatory gaze.

"You do realize, Frank, that you were merely royalty, not a deity…correct?"

Frank blinked at her.  "I beg your…"

She cut him off.  "The power to give, and take, life should be mine, and mine alone.  You, however, took it upon yourself to do both those things."

For quite possibly the first time since he had learned to talk, Frank was at a complete and total loss for words.  Finally, he stammered, "I simply thought…"

He was, again, not permitted to finish his sentence.  Instead, Riana elected to do it for him.  "You simply thought you were entitled to do whatever you wished to do, because of who you were."

Frank attempted to defend himself.  "I was working to advance scientific knowledge.  My discovery could have been of immense benefit to the people of Transylvania."

Riana rolled Her eyes and laughed.  "Frank, you need to remember to whom you are speaking.  I know full well your motivations for attempting to discover the secret to life itself.  You wanted to possess power nobody before you ever had, and you wanted to exercise that power for your own benefit, not for the benefit of the Transylvanian people.  And your murder of that Earthling biker…precisely how did that advance scientific knowledge?"

Frank could only stare at Riana helplessly.  Shaking Her head, she commented, "Your murder of Eddie was, to put it bluntly, a temper tantrum, a way of striking out at someone who had stolen the spotlight from you.  It was, in a way, characteristic of your entire approach to life.  For all your intellectual brilliance, your emotional development never matured much beyond the level of early childhood.  Small children believe they are the center of the universe; you never outgrew that childish belief.  That monumental self-centeredness, combined with the power your position granted you, made you an exceedingly dangerous individual.  Not precisely evil, but dangerous."  Pausing for a moment, She sighed deeply.  When She picked up Her train of thought, Her voice had softened slightly.  "Of course, you were not entirely to blame for your emotional immaturity.  You were laboring under a rather significant handicap."

A handicap?  Despite the gravity of the situation, Frank could not help but be offended by that statement.  He'd had everything going for him!  He was handsome, brilliant, wealthy, powerful…what handicap could he have possibly had?

Yet again, She read his thoughts.  "Yes, you had every possible advantage…and that was your handicap.  It is a handicap shared by all your relatives and forebears.  Transylvania's culture is overly self-indulgent to begin with, and that was true for you even more than for the 'average' person.  From the time you first drew breath, you were taught that due to your status, your needs should be paramount to everyone else's; that it was your divine right, if you will, to do whatever you pleased, no matter how damaging it may have been to someone else.  Combined with your inherently narcissistic personality, it is no wonder you behaved as you did."

She shook Her head.  "Your upbringing, while not excusing your actions, almost certainly affected them to a degree beyond your conscious control.  The same has been true of all your relatives who journeyed to my side before you.  Based on their behavior during their lifetimes, none of them would have ever achieved eternal salvation, either."

Frank cringed at the word "either."

"However, it seemed somehow unfair to simply condemn people who had no real way of knowing how inappropriate and destructive everything they had ever been taught about life had truly been.  Accordingly, I did for them what I am about to do for you…I gave them a choice."

Frank looked at Her warily.  "A 'choice'?"  Suddenly, a light bulb went off in his head.  "That must be the 'alternatives for my afterlife' to which Orestes referred."

"Yes, that is correct."  She fell silent, looking at him intently.

When She exhibited no particular inclination to continue, Frank finally asked, "What is this 'choice' I am to make?"

"I am going to give you a challenge…a challenge you will undoubtedly find more than a bit unpleasant.  Should you accept and meet that challenge, you will achieve salvation.  However, if you reject it, or if you attempt to meet it and fail, you will be condemned."

Frank paled slightly.  Before he could ask for elaboration, however, Riana spoke again.  "Before presenting you with the challenge, I should let you know exactly what 'salvation' and 'condemnation' will entail for you.  The reality of those spiritual states differs for each person.  In your case…" She gestured toward the ceiling.  "Take another look at the ceiling."

Frank looked at Her, confused.  Surely She knew he'd spent Goddess only knows how much time staring at the bloody ceiling while he'd waited for Her arrival.  Smiling, She said, "Just bear with me.  Look."

He looked up, and what he saw gave him a very pleasurable surprise.  Suddenly another figure, a young man with a curly mane of black hair, had joined each of the erotic couplings.  His eyes widened as the figures began to move.  Breathlessly he stared, transfixed, as he saw himself engulfed in ecstasy in a seemingly endless variety of ways, with an equally endless supply of gorgeous, passionate and skilled partners.

It took Riana's voice for him to tear his eyes away from the bewitching sight.  "All right, Frank, I think you have the idea."

Reluctantly, he looked back at Her.  After a moment's silence, he asked a question to which he knew he really didn't want to know the answer.  "What would condemnation be like?"

Suddenly, Her smile seemed to take on an unsettling and very definitely unmerciful edge of menace.  "You tell me.  Based on what you just saw, what do you believe condemnation will be like?"

For a moment, Frank looked at her blankly.  Finally, he said, "No sex?"

The unnerving smile broadened.  "Really, Frank, I would have thought one of your intellectual gifts could have come up with a more insightful response.  Certainly 'no sex' is part of it, but there is more."

Something worse than no sex?  Fearfully he asked, "What else is there?"

She looked him straight in the eye as She answered.  "You will be continually besieged by a nonstop parade of desirable partners, all wanting nothing more than to have sex with you."

Frank tried to stifle a smile, thinking, "So far I fail to see the problem."

"You didn't let me finish."  Frank blushed deeply and again attempted to empty his brain.

"As I said, you will have a continual supply of exceedingly desirable partners, all desiring you.  However, there will be a rather significant obstacle."

Frank sat still as a statue, dreading what Riana was about to say.  He realized it would be quite the coup de grace.

"The problem will be that, no matter what they, or you, attempt to do, you will be unable to…perform."

Frank stared back at Her, aghast.  "What?"

She leaned back in the chair.  "You heard me.  You will be…impotent, although your actual sex drive will be intensified.  So not only will you be deprived of sex, you will be continually humiliated before all these gorgeous people.  Trust me when I say they will not be sensitive about your predicament."

Frank was as white as a ghost.  That would be a horror beyond his wildest dreams.  He had no idea how he could ever begin to cope with frustration and humiliation of that degree.  It didn't matter what the challenge was…scullery duty, cleaning the deities' golden robes, scrubbing toilets with his toothbrush…he'd do anything.

Riana smiled.  "The challenge isn't quite as domestic as any of those things."

Frank sighed, giving up on trying to hide his thoughts.  "What is the challenge, then?"

The smile faded from Riana's face, and She looked at Frank with an air of complete gravity.  "I believe you remember Riff Raff."

Frank rolled his eyes.  "Yes, the name rings a bell."  I wish it were a gong, and it was being rung using his head…

Riana didn't comment on Frank's thought, although he could tell She was aware of it.  "Yes.  In any event, Riff Raff and his sister Magenta are going to be condemned to death, although they are, as yet, unaware of that fact.  They are currently under the mistaken impression they will get away with your murder."

Before Frank could stop himself, he blurted out, "Good.  That is as it should be."

Riana shrugged.  "Perhaps.  It was no more acceptable for them to take your life than it was for you to take Eddie's.  However, your murder was perhaps as much beyond their control as your behavior was frequently beyond your own."

Frank frowned.  "What are you saying?"

"Putting you and Riff Raff together was a recipe for disaster.  A person of monumental self-absorption and power, and a person of intense paranoia and insecurity who is highly resentful of his lack of power…it was inevitable your relationship would come to a bad end.  The two of you continually brought out the worst in each other, to an obviously dangerous degree."

Frank was beginning to, yet again, dislike where this conversation was going.  "And the challenge is…"

"The challenge is to save Riff Raff and his sister from punishment for your death."

Frank was looking at Her in horror, but She did not pause.  "You alone are aware of the circumstance that can derail any defense they may attempt to put forward, and you alone can take steps to deal with it.  I will grant Riff Raff and the person you need to speak with on Transsexual the ability to see and hear you…but no one else.  It is up to you to determine which is more important…getting your revenge for what Riff Raff did to you, or attaining salvation for yourself.  For most people, it would be an easy choice; given your frequently vindictive nature, however, it is less clear-cut for you."

Attempting to stall for time, Frank asked, "Why do I need to speak with Riff Raff?  What I would need to do does not involve him."

Riana replied, "Riff Raff can be every bit as self-destructive as you.  Just as you will have difficulty making the decision to save him, he will have difficulty accepting your assistance.  Part of the challenge will be forcing him to overcome his pride and accept your help with some degree of graciousness.  If he is granted mercy by the person he destroyed, perhaps it will help to change his own self-destructive attitudes, and he will attain a more lasting salvation for himself.  As it stands, he is condemning himself the way your behavior during your lifetime condemned you.  Unlike you, he was raised to be considerate of others, although in his case the training was less than effective.  If he is put to death as punishment for your murder, there will be no eternal salvation for him."

Riana obviously knew Frank better than he knew himself.  As he sat there, unhappily mulling his options, he could not help but think with malicious pleasure of Riff Raff being condemned to death, then being condemned again to eternal torment.  He entertained himself by thinking about the possible realities of Riff Raff's condemnation.  What would it be?  Certainly it would deal in some way with being continually humiliated by Frank for all of eternity – and although he, the "real" Frank, would undoubtedly not have the opportunity to take part, the notion still held vast appeal for him.

But on the other hand, of course, there was his own eternal torment to think about.   As much as he enjoyed the notion of Riff Raff suffering for all eternity – particularly if it were at "his" hands – those thoughts were continually pushed aside by visions of gorgeous men and women laughing cruelly and disdainfully at his failure to be able to satisfy them.  It had never happened during Frank's lifetime, and he couldn't imagine being able to deal with it now…and forevermore.

He had no idea how long he'd been sitting there, lost in thought, before he came to his hated decision.  In a hollow voice, he said, "I will attempt to save him."

Riana nodded.  "All right.  I shall give you a few hours to work out a plan before I send you to Riff Raff.  You may spend the time here."  With a wave of Her hand, the room was suddenly transformed into an opulent bedroom.  Smiling at him, She said, "I know this cannot qualify as 'paradise' as long as you are in this room alone, but I do not want you to be distracted by any outside forces.  If you meet this challenge, you shall more than make up for this temporary deprivation."  With those words, She vanished from his sight.

Frank sank down onto the bed and put his head in his hands.  This was a nightmare.

He tried to think of how best to approach Riff Raff, but a less constructive thought continually intervened. 

The voice echoed in his head…"The sex had better be as good as She promised, if I have to save that bastard to experience it…"