Black Bird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life...
You were only waiting for this moment to arrive......
"Fighter?"
Oh God....it's him....why is he here? How did he find me? I should've just run...I should've just run like everyone told me to run. My father, my mother, everyone I've ever known. And I didn't. Why is he here?
"Fighter....please..."
God...he knows how much I love him....I've never loved anyone before....never. Why did it have to be him? Him with his dusty, sandy blond hair that hangs in his eyes. Him with his shockingly blue eyes that stared into mine each time I cared to pick a fight with him, always ready for me. Him with the voice like a deep roll of thunder, making me shiver inside my skin and my senses come alive with a rush of adrenalin.
"Please talk to me....."
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free......
This isn't like him; he seems so...so...gentle. Oh God....now he's sitting next to me on the bench. I'm in Central Park...on a bench...alone...with Spot Conlon.
Does the world hate me?
"Spot...I...I can't..." I can't speak that's what I can't do. I'm trying to look at him but I can't, it feels like my eyes are glued to this one place on the ground, a place I wish would just open up and eat me whole...I can't take this anymore.
This-the pain....
Blackbird fly....
Blackbird fly....
Into the light of the dark black night....
Oh no....I can see....I can see his hand coming towards me. His hand with his rough calluses that can be so harsh, yet so tender. That hand is now cupping my chin with as much force as a feather lightly brushing your skin as it floats down from the sky, having been lost by some bird begging to touch you with its presence.
And now.....now I can see his eyes. Oh God....those eyes.
The Lord himself must have put those eyes on earth in one person alone, the only person who could handle holding so much power in just those two glassy orbs that pierce into mine at this very moment.
I feel so small and weak, like I've never felt before.
Hello?
I'm Fighter...I'm supposed to be tough. I remember one day....poker night at the Manhattan Lodging House. Spot called me a cheating slut when I won the first game...Mush told him to shut it....and Spot said...I remember exactly.....he said...It doesn't matter what I say...she can't feel.
Oh God how I wish it were true.
Blackbird fly....
Blackbird fly....
Into the light of the dark black night.....
"Please...Fighter...I don't want to fight with you anymore...hell....I don't want to fight with myself anymore....."
What is he saying....he doesn't know what he's talking about...fighting with himself over what?
Over the torment of my heart being ripped to shreds as I watch him switch from girl to girl, always in his happy-go-lucky state as his eye passes me by without a thought? Haven't I always wanted it that way?
Hah...guys are scum remember...you'd rather annihilate them all and leave one or two living underground for breeding purposes only. Then why....why does my mind scream for him when you're not together...why....why....why does my heart rate triple in speed with just one look from him?
If only he knew how he made me feel...would he understand?
No...no he wouldn't...that's why I should've run....why the hell didn't I run!?!?
Blackbird singing in the dead of night....
Take these broken wings and learn to fly...
All your life...
You were only waiting for this moment to arrive....
"Fighter....when I see you....I don't just see a girl...I see the most amazing girl I've ever known. I see a girl with the will power to crush anyone to the ground. I see a girl with enough strength to hold her own while protecting the weaker ones. And I see a girl with enough confidence to say how she feels, not matter what it is...."
Oh the irony.
"But I can't, Fighter....I mean...I couldn't. Before...all I could do was hide behind everything I could find....the girls...the booze....the insults...it all seemed to be helping me along...all of it adding up to the fact that surely there wasn't anything there but loathing between us."
Boy....this just keeps getting better and better.
"You...you ever get that empty feeling inside of you....the kind that wont go away no matter what you do to try and fill it...it's like it's a circular hole...and you just keep trying to fill it with square pegs..."
Oh great....here come the metaphors...now what's the next one going to be...lemme guess...'and you....well...you're just this really gross triangle...'
"Fighter you're my circle....you're what I need to fill that hole...I've known it since the first day I met you and every day after that I tried to tell myself it wasn't true...but it was...is....and it always will be. Please...just believe me when I say.......I need you."
You were only waiting for this moment to arrive...
No...this can't be right...I mean...he...he...he just told me...I was his circle.
Never before have those words affected me so.
Maybe I should go....I should just tell him no and run away.....NO. I'm tired of running away...I'm tired of feeling like I don't belong and I'm tired of not being able to say how I really feel when it counts most.
"I need you."
Did I say those words? I didn't feel them coming but it appears my mouth has just opened and my heart came flying out.
Now he's staring at me with an odd look. His head is perfectly straight and his eyes...hold....relief. Is it relief? Now he's coming closer, I can feel his hot breath on my skin as I realize my body is inching closer to his. His lips are almost on mine when he reaches his hand up one again to cup my cheek, his thumb brushing my pale cheek gently...like he's afraid if he does it too hard it will shatter into a thousand bits and pieces.
"Brooklyn is now yours." He whispers at me and the words wash over me like a cool breath of fresh air, like a wave crashing upon my body and leaving me perfectly dry but with that intense power pressing down on my body.
His lips brush against mine like a mother kissing her baby's cream forehead.......and we are one.
You were only waiting for this moment to arrive.....