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Remember: Kurama's POV
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The two of us went to the old, downtown park. Very few people visited this park except during the cherry blossom festivals. We had the park to ourselves to talk more of ourselves. Yukina was very easy to talk to. None of the conversation topics were forced or embarrassing. Well, some was a tad embarrassing, but it was easily laughed off. We answered one another easily and casually. Yukina was obviously very nervous around me at first, but soon she became more comfortable. I enjoyed being in her company. She was very unlike human girls. The females would be in my company and they would stare unceasingly. Yukina, made me feel very relaxed and normal. I didn't feel like a freak of nature.
The afternoon seemed to brighten noticeably. I felt nothing could go wrong this day.
"I've been wondering of something," I said at length, listening to her melodic laughter at a reply I had made to her remark about my role as a 'perfect' child to my mother. She nodded, allowing me to continue. "Kuwabara has shown countless times that he is infatuated with you. Why do you not care for him?"
She lowered her eyes to the grassy ground. "At first I thought he was just doing all that to show off like most boys that age would do. Then I saw that Kazume was only doing it around me. He hugs me constantly. I mean . . ." she sighed, searching for what she really meant. "Kazume is a sweet person, honestly, but he doesn't give me space when I want it. I don't want to be rude and tell him to let me breath." She raised her eyes and looked at me. "Does that make me sound mean?" she asked quietly.
"No, it's perfectly natural." I had half a mind to ask her why she would choose me over any one she could have chosen. She was very attractive, and would be able to catch the attention of countless males. Why choose me? I kept my mouth closed, deciding that such a question was too personal.
"Besides, Hiei wouldn't really let me be with Kazume. They argue too much. I don't want my brother to argue with whoever I want to be with." She blushed. "I'm surprised he hasn't came swooping down on the two of us yet. He doesn't seem to want me to be with anyone."
I opened my mouth a fraction to tell her the truth of it all, but something stopped me from revealing it. "It's a brotherly thing. The older brother usually feels protective over his younger sister. He wants to find the perfect person that you deserve and that deserves you."
Her brows wrinkled in thought. "Does that mean that he thinks you're the perfect someone? He's really strange sometimes."
I laughed. I didn't deserve to be with Yukina. My heart wasn't matched with hers. She was too perfect for me. Yes, there were things troubling her, but I wasn't the right person to be the one to lift her burdens. I would only hurt her with the lies I found myself telling my loved ones in order to protect them. I couldn't deserve her kindness.
Then what makes you feel that you deserve Botan?
Such an awful voice, that was. It was Youko speaking to me, taunting me. Testing me to see if I could control his wild nature.
Go away and come again another day, I chanted in my thoughts. In fact, I prefer that you never come. You only hurt innocent people.
You're hurting an innocent person now. She thinks that you love her. You're playing with her heart, human.
Leave me alone, I argued with myself stubbornly. I bit my lower lip for a second. As usual, Youko was right. I was playing with Yukina, but . . .it was for the best, right? She only wanted to be happy . . .didn't she? I pushed all thoughts away.
"Suichi! What good luck to find you here!" A female's voice came.
I grimaced briefly at the mention of my human name. Only humans used Suichi Minamino to call me. Yukina looked at the girl then back at me. The smallest of frowns appeared on her face.
"Suichi!" The girl said, smiling. "Is it okay if you . . ." she trailed off and stared at Yukina. Yukina stared back with a questioning glance at me. The girl frowned. "Oh, who's this?" she asked.
"It is a friend of mine," I began.
"A friend?" she repeated doubtfully.
"What is it? I was in the middle of something."
"I was wondering if you could come over and help me with the student council flyers. My mom was baking cookies," she said, smiling. She tossed her hair over her shoulder in a way that was supposed to make me feel attracted to her. I was immune to the human 'hair toss'. "Are you interested? You could drop this hussy and hang with me. We could chat, catch the new horror movie. What do you say?"
I sensed Yukina bristle at being called a hussy. She lowered her eyes a fraction of an inch, afraid that I was going to leave her for a self-conscious human. I had no such idea to ruin a good afternoon with a human girl, ready to smother me with nonsense. "No, I am not interested, sorry. I am in the middle of a date. If you do not mind, please leave me in peace. I'm sure you can handle a few flyers, can you not?" I said this all in a composed voice. The girl reddened and stormed off.
Yukina blushed. "Thanks for sticking up for me. Who was that?"
I shook my head. "A girl at school. I cannot stand her." I studied her embarrassed expression. "Are you comfortable talking to me? You seem distracted."
"The girl made me feel so bad, but it's not a big deal." She smiled weakly at me. "What would you like to do?"
"It is up to you."
"I don't know what we should do," she admitted.
"What about ice cream. Have you ever had that?"
"What's that?"
I thought about the best way to describe it. "I suppose you can call it sweet snow. It's a human sweet—a frozen one."
"Will it be painful?" she asked curiously.
I laughed at the suggestion. She blushed. "You're laughing at me."
"Yes," I confessed, still smiling at her. "It isn't painful at all, except for something called a brain freeze." She looked at me, horrified. "No, you're brain isn't going to literally freeze. It's an expression."
"Okay, if you're sure." She stood up. I took her hand and led her to a well-known ice cream parlor called Kakigori, which was translated to mean snow cone . . .or shaved ice.
I went into the parlor and looked in disbelief at the amount of human girls sitting. All eyes turned to face us. I sat down in a booth, feeling my cheeks flush at the knowledge that human females would closely monitor every move I made. It was embarrassing and uncomfortable. Yukina seemed to be able to sense my discomfort and sat beside me, hoping to be able to ease it.
"Whadaya want?" a waiter asked, eying Yukina thoughtfully while handing us a menu with the day's special. I ordered a sundae, allowing Yukina to choose the toppings. The waiter returned shortly with two spoons. I didn't feel hungry in the least. There were too many eyes on me. I felt over crowded.
The booth seemed to shrink and the corner I sat in seemed to wrap around me in a multicolored haze. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, trying to focus on telling myself that it was only my imagination. I was only mildly aware that my hands found the metal spoon and was bending it into an impossible angle. My breath caught in my throat.
I felt gentle hands on my hair. At first I shuddered at the touch.
Your hair is damaged . . .I could almost hear Karasu's voice and his hands, touching the strands of my hair, taunting me, teasing me . . . Save your fight for me?
"Kurama, what's wrong?" Yukina's voice broke through the chain of memories.
I opened my eyes. Yukina looked so worried and frightened. I had caused it. "My greatest fear," I murmured slowly and quietly so the other humans wouldn't hear, "is being closed in. I'm claustrophobic. Not even my human mother knows this." I smiled at her and closed my eyes to her gentle hands stroking my hair. I took unexplained pleasure in her tender touch.
She smiled and moved closer to hug me. "I never knew. You never showed it."
"You can't blame me," I replied. "If anyone knew, I'd be captured and thrown into a small box purposely to see how long I can withstand it."
She didn't remove her grip and continued to stroke my hair. "Its okay, no one's here to throw you in a box. I don't think." She giggled and I smiled at the remark.
I gazed into her eyes and lost myself. I couldn't resist the impulse to move closer to her. The next moment, our lips met. We both lost ourselves in the moment. She responded shyly and gently.
"K-Kurama?" The divine voice of my most intimate desires broke the still moment.
Botan.
I realized where I was and what I was doing. I broke away from Yukina, feeling my heart stop and the blood drain from my face.
Botan and my eyes met. She blushed furiously. "Oh, I'm sorry. I wanted to speak to you, but I-I can wait." She backed away and out of the doors. I watched her run off.
I ran my hands through my hair in annoyed frustration. What have I done? I lost myself to a human impulse. Now Yukina will be positive of my 'interest' of her and Botan will think that I care nothing for her.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! I shouldn't have been so dense and weak!
"Kurama?" Yukina murmured, touching my arm.
"I'm sorry, I have to go," I said quickly. "Something came up." I paid for the ice cream and left, leaving Yukina to be confused and bewildered. I had no will to explain myself. I had thrown myself into a trap . . .a grave for my heart. I was so incredibly stupid! Curse it all. Curse me.
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Hee hee hee, what's Kurama going to do now? Naughty fox! I hope this is long enough. It's like a whole page more than I usually write.
Pretty please review!