Disclaimer: I don't own anything!
Thanks for the reviews, but special thanks to these people for reading the last few sentences and helping to decide whether Hiei likes Botan or not! DarkAnimeChickKuramaandHiei4ever
Kitykat (but not in any special order!) Great ideas, but since I'm weird, I'm going to mix all three of your ideas into one! That way no one will feel left out!
A/N: Still Kurama's POV
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Hiei continued to stare at me, seeming to decide whether I was implying something or joking. "What are you playing at?" he asked. "What kind of question is that?"
"Just answer it," I said, beginning to grow frustrated. Unfortunately, my illness wasn't allowing me to keep my temper under control. I only wanted to know whether he cared for Botan or not. Now that I knew Botan didn't cared for me, part of me had resigned from being partially obsessed with her.
"No," Hiei said at last.
I hadn't expected that answer. I had expected an embarrassed yes, but a no? "What?" I asked.
"No. I don't like her; I don't want to like her. Remember that she was the one that sent Yusuke after us when you stole the Dark Artifacts? Besides," He paused, a faint red color creeping into his lightly tanned cheeks. "She knocked me out of a tree. What kind of woman would she be for me to like to have knocked me out of a tree?"
It was my turn to stare at him. His logic made no sense to me, but it did to him. It was true, Botan had gotten Yusuke to trail us after I had stolen the dark artifacts, but it was of the past. It was our fault. Our intentions weren't good. If my mother hadn't fallen ill, I would have killed many innocent people. My human mother saved me. I found her inferior to me, but still she had saved me from doing things that I would have regretted. It was pure irony.
"Hiei, it was in the past. What about your past? What if the girl you fell in love with didn't return your love because of the things you did in the past?"
He looked at me, a fire igniting in his crimson eyes. I had opened a wound that he had carefully nursed to form a half healed scar. "I have no past." I doubt he could have spoken in a flatter tone.
"Yes you do. Everyone has a past. You may not remember or you may not want to remember, but there was a past. What you just said is part of the past. You have a past."
He shook his head, his raven hair moving with his motions. "I don't care. No girl would give a damn about me. If they did, they have to be out of their mind. Tell me something: what kind of girl would want me? I was abandoned. That made act the way I do. I'm an asshole."
I blinked involuntarily at the words. It was understood that Hiei acted a little rough around the edges, but I had never considered Hiei to be . . .an asshole.
Hiei smirked. "You know I'm one. Don't deny it. No one could possible love me. Now give your frail human body mind some rest and stop asking questions." He left the room, the hem of his black cloak swishing soundlessly as he walked.
I slipped back under the covers. I couldn't let this matter drop, but I didn't have much of a choice. Everything counted on me staying alive. My mother would be released from the hospital soon. She didn't need to mourn over my death. I had school as well. I closed my eyes, willing my mind to be calm. What was I truly thinking when I had slashed my wrists? There was no gain to have actually gone through with it.
~~TWO DAYS LATER~~"You're fully healed!" Botan chirped cheerfully.
"I am?" I asked doubtfully. I still felt a little weak, but it might have been because of not being allowed to move from the bed.
"Not completely, but it was a lot better than two days ago. If you weren't a fox demon, it would've taken you a week or two for you to heal." She smiled happily. "We even made you a Congratulations cake!"
I blinked. "Cake?" I didn't feel like eating. I hadn't eaten at all in the last day or so, but my appetite still hadn't returned.
"Well, there would've been a cake, but you know how teenagers are." She clapped a hand to her mouth. "Oh, I forgot you were a teenager as a human! Sorry, I didn't mean to insult you!"
I lifted a hand. "You didn't insult me. I understand what you meant."
"Kuwabara and Yusuke ate the cake. They got in a fight over something completely stupid and got hungry afterwards." She spread her arms in the air in an 'oh well' gesture.
"What 'stupid' subject, if you don't mind?"
Botan paused and looked at me. "Erm, Porn. Don't ask me about that! You do know what that is, right? I don't want to explain it."
"Yes, I know what it is."
She raised an eyebrow. "Really? How?"
I opened and closed my mouth to protest. She laughed. "I'm only joking! It's a wonderful day, why not take a walk to enjoy it?"
I stood, carefully testing my weight to see if my legs would support me. I hadn't walked very much lately. "W-would you escort me? I doubt anyone else would feel comfortable around me," I murmured tentatively. "If I were anyone, I wouldn't want to hang around someone who attempted suicide."
"Sure! Lord Koenma let me on my break. Talking a walk would be fun!"
I couldn't describe how happy I felt. I was grateful for it. "Really?"
"Of course! I want to talk to you."
I walked at a slow pace because I wasn't used to moving this much. Botan didn't seem to mind in the least. I felt a strange stirring in my heart in mind. I reached for it and studied it. Normally, being alone with Botan would have made me extremely happy, but now that it had happened, I felt nothing. Perhaps the knowledge that she liked someone else caused me to push my love for her away. Maybe . . .just maybe, I didn't love her anymore. My heart thudded nervously. It would have been dreadfully ironic to find out that Yukina was truly the one.
"Kurama . . ." Botan began, sounding a little uncomfortable.
I looked at her, watching the way the sun highlighted the features of her face. I knew then that Botan was the one, but I would never claim her as my own. "Yes?"
"Remember that you said you'd ask Hiei if he did . . .you know. . .like me?" she toyed with the petals of a flower she had picked. "And, and I said that it didn't matter?" She was being uncharacteristically nervous. Highly unlike her normally chatty self.
"Yes." I wished I could've said something more imaginative.
"Yes, well. . .I was thinking over it and. . ." she sighed. "It does matter to me. I thought that it didn't but it does. So can you. . .find out for me?" She looked at me
"I did," I blurted out.
She gazed at me with wide eyes. "Really? W-what did he say?"
Me and my big mouth! What would I say to her? I didn't want to see her hurt as I had hurt Yukina, but the truth was important. She had said so herself! Even so, she didn't need to be hurt over something like this. Then again, I would've wanted to know if I were in her position. I should stop thinking too deeply on certain things . . .
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