REGRET (the aftermath of the 5th year)
Chapter 11
The pain is what woke him up, the pain in his arm. For come reason it hurt more than the night before. He wished last night hadn't happened, that when he opened his eyes, he would still be in the Cauldron, safe in his room, and most of all happy. But the pain had woken his up, not just from his sleep, but also to the realization that it had all been real. Slowly, he opened his eyes to look at the room he was in, but all he could see was blurred darkness.
He slid his hand over the sheets next to him, remembering that someone had put his glasses in his hand before he had been overcome by the shock of the spell and stress of the whole experience. He found them about to fall between the opening that separated the bed and the wall. He put them on, then dropped his arm limply back onto the bed. The room became slightly more focused, but still dark, so he turned his sight to the ceiling, and stared blankly at it, a million thoughts running through his head.
How could they, he thought, how could they do this? How could they treat me like this? He could almost feel where they had stabbed him in the back; the pain of it was real. But the worst of it all was that he trusted them, even thought of some of them as friends, family even. His eyes blurred again as tears began to form. It had all been a trick, they weren't his friends. No friend would do this; treat him like this. He slid the side of his hand over the side of his eyes to stop the tear from falling.
"NO!!!" he yelled as he sat up quickly and turned so his legs were over the side of the bed. "I won't let them get to me like that." he stared down loathingly at the floor, knowing that someone was down there, and gripped the edge of the bed tightly, wishing it was their neck. Rage began to fill up in him, he didn't know what he's do to the first person to walk through that door. I hate them, he thought, I hate them. Tears were slowly dropping down the side of his face, not from sadness, but from anger, frustration, and the deep, painful feel of being betrayed. He shot up, ran to the door and slammed the side of his fist into it.
"I HATE YOU ALL!!!" he yelled as loud as he could, because he wanted to make sure that everyone who could hear him, did. "I will NEVER forgive you for this, ANY of you." He took a step back and stared at the door hoping someone would come through it, but no one did. "Fine then." He said quietly through his teeth and began to pace the room. He was shaking with anger; he needed a way to release this anger before he exploded. He looked at every object in the room as if it were his worst enemy, and needed to be destroyed.
Impulsively, he reached into his pocket for his wand, but it wasn't there. Then he remembered, Lupin had taken it. He knew it was him because he recognized his voice when he said he was sorry. Liar, he thought, he wasn't sorry. He probably just said that to make himself feel better about what he did.
Harry was tired, tired from the night before, tired of everything that had happened to him since he left Hogwarts; of everything that had happened before. He didn't enjoy constantly feeling angry and sad and hopeless. He couldn't help but feel that way after everything he'd been through. He walked back over to the bed, took off his glasses and laid down on his side, looking out at the room. He wanted to disappear. Not existing would be better than existing like this, he thought.
He could hear people talking down stairs, one person was yelling. "At least someone is on my side" he said solemnly, but he mostly hoped it was that way. He closed his eyes, wanting to sleep, but knowing he couldn't, and pulled his knees a little closer to his chest. The voices continued and he was trying to ignore them, but they seemed to be getting louder. Then he heard someone coming up the stairs. He considered getting up, but decided not to since he would be out numbered if he tried to get out. So he continued to lie down, eyes shut, and wait for whoever was coming to come.
"Open the door." He heard them say when the footsteps had reached him. Still he tried his best to ignore it and buried his face into the pillow. When the door opened, the light from outside shocked him since he had become use to the darkness, and he turned onto his other side to try to block it out.
"Leave me alone." He said coldly.
"Harry?" they said, but he recognized this voice, and turned to the doorway to see who it had been. "Harry, are you alright?"
He slid his glasses back onto his face and the person at the door came into focus. Words refused to come out of his mouth for a moment, and when he could speak, all he could manage to say was, "Hermione?"
***
Chapter 11
The pain is what woke him up, the pain in his arm. For come reason it hurt more than the night before. He wished last night hadn't happened, that when he opened his eyes, he would still be in the Cauldron, safe in his room, and most of all happy. But the pain had woken his up, not just from his sleep, but also to the realization that it had all been real. Slowly, he opened his eyes to look at the room he was in, but all he could see was blurred darkness.
He slid his hand over the sheets next to him, remembering that someone had put his glasses in his hand before he had been overcome by the shock of the spell and stress of the whole experience. He found them about to fall between the opening that separated the bed and the wall. He put them on, then dropped his arm limply back onto the bed. The room became slightly more focused, but still dark, so he turned his sight to the ceiling, and stared blankly at it, a million thoughts running through his head.
How could they, he thought, how could they do this? How could they treat me like this? He could almost feel where they had stabbed him in the back; the pain of it was real. But the worst of it all was that he trusted them, even thought of some of them as friends, family even. His eyes blurred again as tears began to form. It had all been a trick, they weren't his friends. No friend would do this; treat him like this. He slid the side of his hand over the side of his eyes to stop the tear from falling.
"NO!!!" he yelled as he sat up quickly and turned so his legs were over the side of the bed. "I won't let them get to me like that." he stared down loathingly at the floor, knowing that someone was down there, and gripped the edge of the bed tightly, wishing it was their neck. Rage began to fill up in him, he didn't know what he's do to the first person to walk through that door. I hate them, he thought, I hate them. Tears were slowly dropping down the side of his face, not from sadness, but from anger, frustration, and the deep, painful feel of being betrayed. He shot up, ran to the door and slammed the side of his fist into it.
"I HATE YOU ALL!!!" he yelled as loud as he could, because he wanted to make sure that everyone who could hear him, did. "I will NEVER forgive you for this, ANY of you." He took a step back and stared at the door hoping someone would come through it, but no one did. "Fine then." He said quietly through his teeth and began to pace the room. He was shaking with anger; he needed a way to release this anger before he exploded. He looked at every object in the room as if it were his worst enemy, and needed to be destroyed.
Impulsively, he reached into his pocket for his wand, but it wasn't there. Then he remembered, Lupin had taken it. He knew it was him because he recognized his voice when he said he was sorry. Liar, he thought, he wasn't sorry. He probably just said that to make himself feel better about what he did.
Harry was tired, tired from the night before, tired of everything that had happened to him since he left Hogwarts; of everything that had happened before. He didn't enjoy constantly feeling angry and sad and hopeless. He couldn't help but feel that way after everything he'd been through. He walked back over to the bed, took off his glasses and laid down on his side, looking out at the room. He wanted to disappear. Not existing would be better than existing like this, he thought.
He could hear people talking down stairs, one person was yelling. "At least someone is on my side" he said solemnly, but he mostly hoped it was that way. He closed his eyes, wanting to sleep, but knowing he couldn't, and pulled his knees a little closer to his chest. The voices continued and he was trying to ignore them, but they seemed to be getting louder. Then he heard someone coming up the stairs. He considered getting up, but decided not to since he would be out numbered if he tried to get out. So he continued to lie down, eyes shut, and wait for whoever was coming to come.
"Open the door." He heard them say when the footsteps had reached him. Still he tried his best to ignore it and buried his face into the pillow. When the door opened, the light from outside shocked him since he had become use to the darkness, and he turned onto his other side to try to block it out.
"Leave me alone." He said coldly.
"Harry?" they said, but he recognized this voice, and turned to the doorway to see who it had been. "Harry, are you alright?"
He slid his glasses back onto his face and the person at the door came into focus. Words refused to come out of his mouth for a moment, and when he could speak, all he could manage to say was, "Hermione?"
***