Thanks for the reviews! =^~^=
I think you know who's POV this is by now, right?
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My eyes opened to the morning sun streaming out between the curtains. Dust particles danced in the beam of sunlight. I blinked, trying to remember how I had gotten here. I heard a soft sigh next to me and felt a shuffling as Botan turned over. I looked over at her. Her eyes were still closed, still asleep. In her shifting, she nuzzled against me, one arm thrown carelessly across my chest. I smiled involuntarily, suddenly remembering the night before. It was a glorious, passion-filled night that would stay in my memory for eternity.
(A/n: Sorry, I can't get into a lemon or I'd have my fic booted off since there's snitchers out there. * squints suspiciously at readers * So, you can figure out what they did and if you're mind is lost in the gutter, you can imagine the details.)
By the unwritten laws written nature inscribed in my . . .rather, Youko's, brain, I now officially 'owned' Botan, if you could go as far to say such a thing. I gazed thoughtfully at her. Yes, she was mine now, but I couldn't help but think back to yesterday, before the act of marking her was accomplished. Upon kissing her, I had felt the thrill of happiness. Afterwards, I had sensed the doubt coming from myself, Botan, or one of my friends. Was it I who was doing the doubting? Did I doubt Botan? I couldn't dare to doubt her after all the things I had gone through to have her in my arms. I needed her. Or did I?
I sighed, deciding to ignore the confusing questions and merely enjoy the moments such as these. I moved carefully out of bed without disturbing her. Mother was coming home this afternoon. I wanted everything to be in order. I glanced at Botan, watching as she rolled across the bed to the side where I had slept. I chuckled softly. She must move quiet a bit when she sleeps. Frankly I was surprised to find she didn't talk in her sleep. Either she wasn't a talker, or I was too worn out from the entire day's events to notice.
"I didn't do my homework?!" I hissed in disgust. I had lifted a pile of school newspapers and flyers to inspect them, only to find that a pile of books was hidden beneath. I cursed silently to myself. I had forgotten my homework. Of course, I could always offer some sort of excuse to the teachers and give them a sheepish smile. I would be allowed to make them up, but I was already running out of excuses from the countless missions I had gone on. I had to come up with excuses for those.
"Kurama? Are you actually cussing? That's weird. I never heard you cuss before."
I raised my eyes to face my goddess. Her hair was down to frame her face. I grinned at how innocent and helpless she looked with her mussed hair and how simple the style was compared to her usual ponytail.
She frowned and narrowed her eyes at me. "What are you smiling at? Do I look funny or something?"
"Yes, in fact, you do." I sat down on the floor to shuffle through my homework, hoping that I had actually done all of it. I usually did my work ahead of time to make up for the losses that would occur incase of a sudden mission.
"What's that?"
"Homework. I think I may have forgotten to finish it in the heat of things." I sighed impatiently at the unorganized clutter.
"Sheesh, for someone who's supposed to be clever, you aren't very organized, are you?" she replied, getting out of bed to sit by me.
"All great minds can't be perfect in every aspect," I replied simply, squinting through a notebook then at a chart for physiology.
"I can organize it for you."
I looked up at her when I heard the suggestion. "That would be a bother, wouldn't it?"
"No, Lord Koenma has me doing the filing for Reikai when I'm not grim reaping. Your human homework should be a little easier compared to the files we have on demons."
"Could you really do that while I clean things up? My human mother comes home today. I don't want to bother her with the messes I made." I gazed at the pile of crumpled papers I had made when I had to help come up with designs for a thespian flyer.
(A/n: thespian has more to do along the lines of drama or acting)
"I can do it, piece of cake! I'll do it for you, anyway. I get sick and tired of doing it for Lord Koenma. 'No Botan, if it says that it killed two humans, you put it in the files with lesser offenses!' It's confusing!" She smiled at me after doing the impression of the toddler prince. "Are you going to introduce me to your mother or shall we wait?"
I considered it. If the doubt I had sensed was truly coming from me, having Botan and mother get on better terms with one another, it wouldn't be prudent. "Botan, I would rather we wait. Mother has been ill for so long, I don't want her to worry about having to get to know you better. Not that I am embarrassed of you, it's just going to put more on her mind than she'll need at a time like this." I looked imploringly at her. "Am I making sense?"
"Yeah, that's okay. I'll just go hang around with Yusuke or the rest while you get your mother all comfy-cozy!" She put her arms around my neck, hugging me. I held her, feeling her warmth and breathing in her scent.
"Thank you," I said softly.
~~At Noon~~
"Suichi, how long did it take you to get the house this clean?" my human mother asked.
"Not too long," I said cheerfully. It had taken me an hour or so to make it clean enough to be acceptable in her eyes. She was gripping my arm tightly. She hobbled into the living room and beamed at me.
"It's spotless, dear. You didn't have to do that for me."
"Yes I did. I didn't want it to look like a pigsty when you returned. I didn't want you to clean after me when I was perfectly capable of doing it myself."
"You'll spoil an old woman by doing this. You're supposed to make me do things for you. What kind of mother would I be if you did everything for yourself?"
"A happy one. Now relax today. Can I get you anything?" I helped her to sit on the sofa.
"No, no, I'm fine." She smiled at me. It hurt me to see that she seemed so much older from the last time I had seen her. Humans aged so quickly. Once they reach their peak, they slowly die. "Tell me about your date with that girl you spoke about. How was it?"
"I had a good time." I wasn't going to tell her of the small details.
"That's nice to hear." She patted my hand and stopped suddenly. I watched as she pulled my sleeves back to reveal the gauze wrapped around my wrists. My cuts hadn't healed quite yet. Yukina could have had them healed instantly, but she seemed to want to avoid me after what I had done. Another pang of guilt assaulted me.
"What happened?" she gasped, touching the gauze.
I pulled my arm out of her grasp and tugged my sleeve back down. "Just an accident," I lied quickly. "I was going to trim the rose bushes, but you know I'm a little clumsy. I cut myself with the shears."
She winced. "That must have hurt. Let me see it."
"I'd rather not. It's nearly healed, Mother. Don't worry over it."
She said nothing. I felt her study me with her motherly suspicion and love. "So, when can I meet this girlfriend of yours?" she said, changing the subject to something a little more personal.
"When I get a chance to. We're both a little busy with things."
She beamed. "Ah, so now you do have a girlfriend. How lovely. Whenever you get a chance, invite her to dinner sometime."
"Y-yes, Mother."
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I walked down the lane to go to Kuwabara's house where Botan was supposed to be. I knocked on the door. Shizuru answered the door.
"Oh, you're that boy that's friends with my little bro," she said, scratching the tip of her nose. "Kazume's out right now."
"Is he?" My heart fell. "I was looking for Botan and Yukina. Any chance that they're still here?"
"Botan went with the guy about this high." She held her hand about waist high. "She said that they were going to take a walk." She shrugged and looked at the sky. "I would too. It's a nice day." She looked at me. "Why aren't you out enjoying the air?"
"I am," I said a little too defensively. I noted a smirk on her face. "Thank you, though," I said quickly. "Have a good afternoon."
She closed the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Botan was alone with Hiei. Either that or Kuwabara was with them as well. I bit my lower lip. No, I knew Hiei and Botan well enough. True, they were full of surprises, but I felt something wrong. I needed to know whether the doubting feelings I had yesterday were mine or of someone else.
I bent over, my hands on my knees. I was breathing heavily from running for over an hour. I looked around my surroundings. My intuition had taken me to this forest. I hadn't been here in a long time. I used to play here as a child, trying to control Youko away from my mother so she wouldn't be harmed.
"Hiei, I can't."
"Why not?"
"I have Kurama. I mean, he worked hard just for me and you . . .you just ignored me when I tried to tell you I liked you. Now that Kurama's with me, it's like you just now decide to love me. What's the sense in that?"
That was no doubt, Hiei and Botan talking to each other. What were they doing here?
"I didn't realize it until I saw you kissing him," Hiei's voice said, strained as if he was trying to keep an outburst down. "I didn't believe that you could possibly care for a cold-hearted orphan like me. It would be too . . .too good to be true."
I moved silently behind them with practiced grace. Of course Hiei would be the first to sense me, if he was alert of his surroundings.
Hiei continued with his thoughts. His voice was uncharacteristically soft, unlike his usual harsh demeanor. "Even though I could read your thoughts, I just ignored it. It was just my stupid imagination. Then I saw you and Kurama. I can see that you like him, but is it because you thought I hated you and wanted to make me jealous, or is it just because he was there to take you out of your misery, or . . .do you truly not care for me anymore?"
My eyes widened at the question. I was blind to the obvious yet again. I knew something was wrong with Botan suddenly allowing me to mark her when she had specifically stated that it was Hiei who she had cared about. What was the reason for her sudden interest in me?
Botan sat quietly. A strand of grass was being twisted between her slender fingers. "I-I don't know," she said softly.
"Can you forgive me? Can you love me again? I'll be good to you. Please, Botan," Hiei pleaded. His hand reached out to stroke her back.
Botan's head bowed, her eyes closed. "I wanted to hear that for so long, but now . . ." She sighed sadly. "I'm so confused over this, Hiei, don't make it worse for me."
"Just think about it." I saw Hiei lean over, his face close to hers. I bristled. I knew what he was trying to do. Anger boiled over in my blood.
Youko burst to life, taking over my human form, allowing me to share his demon body. Hiei jerked suddenly. He sensed Youko's abnormally high Reiki. He turned and saw me. He nearly fell over in surprise.
"Kurama! What the hell are you doing here?" he asked.
"The question is yours to answer," I replied. It was more like Youko replied, since he was my angry emotion in body. "I'm pretty pissed off at the two of you." That was more along Youko's word usage.
"Kurama, you have to understand," Botan said, her eyes glittering imploringly.
"I understand this better than you think. For once, my eyes are actually open. I'm not walking around in a cloud of self-pity like I've been doing for the past month. My eyes are open! Do you understand that?" I felt Youko's thrill at finally being able to vent out his anger, even though it was my words. His anger was backing my words. No wonder Botan was quivering in fear and Hiei was watching me closely.
"You, Botan, still care for Hiei. I was just something to take your mind off of it. You used me, just as I had unintentionally used Yukina in my moment of selfishness and self-pity. She won't forgive me, but she's still able to face me. As for me, I'm far less forgiving. I have gone through a mental hell for you, yet you just throw me aside like a used rag doll," I said in a quavering tone. I was trying to keep the anger at a minimum, but in my stage and in Youko's body, I wasn't able to do much.
Botan shook her head. "No, it's not that. I'm just so confused over this! Yes, I liked Hiei, but I care for you now. B-but Hiei just now comes to me and. . . and. . ." She buried her face into her hands. "I-I just don't know! You're screaming at me, just making it worse! I wasn't trying to betray you or anything like that!"
"Feh, so you love me, do you?" I snapped—Youko snapped.
She nodded, peeking up at me, wondering what I was going to do next.
"Then say it."
"Say w-what?"
"Say you love me and not Hiei. Come on, do it. Let him listen and have him keep these thoughts in his mind."
"Kurama, please, just calm down first! You're scaring me," she pleaded.
"SAY IT! NOW." Somehow I was now in front of her. The trademark Death Plant snaked out, reacting to my Reiki. They wrapped around Botan, pinning her painfully against the tree. "Say it. It's only three words: I love you. Simple."
"Y-your hurting me! Please put me down."
My eyes narrowed at her. "I can say it. Why can't you? It isn't that hard. Look, Botan, I love you and I would do anything for you, but if you do care for me, why can't you say it?"
"Kurama, put her down. You're going to give her a heart attack," Hiei yelled.
"You! Stay away! You're the one who started it! If you had listened to me when I told you, none of this would have happened. You'd be with her and I'd be out of the picture. You have to stay and listen to this!" I spat.
"You're going to far, damn you!"
"Shut up!" I struck out at him, knocking him away. I managed to leave a large gash across his neck unintentionally. He fell to the ground, clutching his neck. He summoned his Reiki to try and heal it well enough to survive the blow. Unfortunately, he was no good at using Reiki to heal. He only used it to kill.
I wanted to stop this madness. Botan wasn't worth Hiei's death, nor did I want her to be afraid of me if she truly cared, but I couldn't control it. Once Youko's anger was unleashed, the course had to be completed.
My attention returned to Botan. "Say it. We can play this all night. I have the patience. Either you say you love me, or you don't love me. Only then can you leave." My voice wasn't quavering with anger now. It was at the soft monotone that must have felt worse than being screamed at. I could see Botan flinching and tears coursing down her cheeks. I felt part of me soften at her helplessness.
"Botan . . ." I murmured powerlessly. Youko pushed the weakness aside and led me to push against Botan. Her lips were against mine in a crushing move. The kiss deepened without any retaliation from her.
"I love you, Botan. Say it back to me." I pulled away to study her face. Her head was bowed and her eyes were closed. Had she passed out?
I nipped her neck, drawing blood. Her head jerked up as she cried out in pain. "Yes, cry out. If you can't answer a simple question, you deserve the pain. Go ahead and cry out—it's invigorating."
I watched her bite her lip. She was too weak from the mental stress I had forced upon her. Youko was excited enough to rip further at her neck. He forced me to press my lips against the wound and allow the coppery tasting liquid into my mouth. I kissed her again, more roughly this time.
It was a horrible sight to withhold. The problem was I seemed to be enjoying this. An evil part of me told me that she deserved this for doing what she did to me.
"You'll learn, human," Youko replied for me. He smirked at Botan, not worrying that her blood was dripping from his lips to spot the snow-white robe he and I now shared. "Answer the simple question or I'll rip your lungs out while you're still alive."
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Now you know where the doubt came from! If you don't, here's the answer: It was coming from Botan. She wasn't really sure if she totally could totally forget Hiei and completely love Kurama when Hiei was who she liked first.
Or, if you think it was from Kurama, you could be right too. He was sort of doubting her because he knew it was kind of too good to be true for her to say she loved him after all the things he went through.
So, I leave it at yet another cliffhanger. I'm such an evil person, aren't I? Review and another chapter will be up soon. I think I typed too much. This is like 6 pages!
NOTE: Since today was a snow-day for me, I think I'll get another chapter to My Assassin, My Dark Angel. Read that if you want to, but I'm not forcing anything.