**A/N** OK, who's happy? Another update! Whee! Be happy, happy I say! O.O Are you happy yet? Good! ^.^
Jess Perry- Yes ma'am, Faye is the oldest member of the BeBop (she's 74 to be precise- wish I look like that when I'm 74!)- but what woman is actually going to want to admit this unless she's using it to one up someone else? (Example- in one session she's bantering with Spike and says she is older than him, after all. ^.^). Anyhow- glad that you enjoyed the chapter and the humor- and feel free to point out any small mistakes or even some big ones!
Luis- Ah ^.^ you've come back to review! How lovely! There was a lot of stress leading up to that one scene…on me, not the characters! Can you believe it took me 4 days to write that chapter? *shakes head* how annoying was that? Gah! Anyhow- no need to look forward to this chapter…coz…it's already here! ^_^
Disclaimers: I do not own Trigun or Cowboy BeBop or any characters from said titles (no matter how much I wish it so *drools* Spike-person…Vash-kun…Wolfwood…Knives…hehe). I am making no sort of profit from the telling of this work of fiction, it is merely for my reading pleasure and for my lovely readers' as well. Any likeness to actual events, people, or places is purely coincidental (or is it? Muahaha) and the events taking place are directly from my warped little mind, so please do not sue me. Have a nice day and happy reading!
**PS** Ed makes a reference to a character in several CB sessions- can you figure out who it is? Kudos and credit to everyone who figures it out!
Vacation
Session Eleven
Go, Go, Cactus Man
The sound of dishes clinking together and water sloshing about was all that could be heard in the general vicinity of the Cactus Café's kitchen. The four shipmates of the Cowboy BeBop sullenly scrubbed, scoured, and dried dishes, glasses, and silverware- this was their sentence for the damages of Ein's escapades. The grand total of twelve broken plates, seven dry cleaning bills, six broken table legs, and four ruined tablecloths came to 2500 double dollars…ballpark. Of course the crew had no such money- they weren't even sure if they had that much in woolongs.
After the incident had happened, Vash felt inclined to bail the four out of their mess. He'd come across these confounded black cats almost everywhere he went and they usually caused him a bit of trouble. In fact, he was convinced it was the same damn cat following him everywhere. But not only did he sympathize with their canine-feline fiasco, Vash wanted to rescue his damsel in distress- Faye Valentine.
However, Meryl had (unfortunately) knocked some sense into him.
"Just where are you going to get 2500 double dollars? You were broke an hour ago when we came to breakfast, and I don't think it just regenerated in your pockets!"
If only it could…
Though this still held true when Vash dug into every pocket of his red trench coat and managed only to produce forty double dollars. He could only spare half of that (hey, a man…or plant, needs his doughnuts!) and he had looked to Wolfwood to help out.
The priest simply shrugged as he lit another cigarette. "Sorry, but I can't help them out- my funds have hit rock bottom paying for our room at the hotel."
He did, however, offer a single cigarette to Faye, Jet, and Spike- Spike had already been smoking one, so for this he was grateful he got a second-and this seemed to sustain some faith that Wolfwood was indeed a generous priest, no matter how unconventional he appeared.
Meryl offered them nothing but her scowl, which had become quite prominent over the past two days. To her these people who fell from the sky in their lost piece of technology ship meant nothing but trouble. She had a feeling the mischief caused so far by their presence was not the worst of it.
Milly, on the other hand, had more sympathy than her short tempered counterpart. She offered them at the very least some kind words.
"Gee, I really hope your luck turns around soon," she beamed, "I'd hate to see you getting into more trouble, especially since you're so short on money. But, as my big, big brother always says- every cloud has a silver lining."
This caused the crew to exchange puzzled expressions. Was this woman always so cheerful? Jet nudged Spike in the side.
"She remind you of anybody?"
Spike stuffed his hands in his pockets, cigarette snubbed and ground with one in reserve. He shrugged. "It's her voice- she sounds like someone familiar."
Ed overheard their whispered conversation and grinning, still holding onto Ein –(who would later be tied to the rail outside the café for safekeeping)- put in her two cents.
"Shucks howdy, y'all! Howdy shucks and sayonara!"
Make that her half cent input.
Nevertheless, the question was resolved- they both knew who it was Ed was impersonating. This also made them wonder just how many bounties had suddenly been lined up once they'd gone AWOL from the Milky Way. Jet guessed about twenty, and he had a feeling there was at least one somewhere on Venus. Their vacation might've raked in some serious woolong…
…But now they were trapped on a planet that might as well have been a massive beach with no water and broke in the sense that they were poor in the wrong kind of currency. It felt like a nightmare and whoever was the source refused to wake up. To top it off, they had dish duty for what felt like eons.
No one spoke. Everyone just kept on scrubbing, scouring, and drying. There was an assembly line going, entailing Jet as the dish washer, Spike as the pan scourer, Faye at rinse duty, and Ed as the dish drier. A rhythm of sounds began slowly but steadily until it became a monotonous drag.
Slosh, scrub, slosh, clink…slosh, scrub, slosh, clink…
It was enough to make anyone sleepy, and it'd grown so repetitive that when there was a break in the rhythm everyone jumped halfway out of their skins.
Slosh,scrub,slosh,clink…slosh,scrub,slosh,CRASH!
Ed's amber eyes went wide, staring down at the glass that had slipped through the (umpteenth) damp towel, her fingers, and shattered on the floor.
"Oops," she murmured, too tired for one of her more elongated reactions, and then waited to be reprimanded by one of the adults.
Nobody said a word. Seven hours had passed since they first started this god-awful job without so much as a break in the action or a word spoken between them. Fatigue had set in almost instantaneously. Ed stared in disbelief.
"You guys broken?" She tapped both her temples with her forefingers, bare toes wriggling on the floor as she stepped back to avoid the broken glass.
"How much do you think that one glass set us back, Jet?" Spike finally spoke, making Ed sigh in relief.
Crossing his muscular arms, Jet tried to figure it out.
"If this were Mars or Ganymede, I'd say a good two or three woolong. Since we're stuck in this back water place, who knows? Maybe it's ten of these…double dollar things."
"What water?" Faye muttered. Now she was raring to go. "This place is so dry, it's horrible for my perfect complexion!"
"There's such a thing as modesty, Faye, try it sometime." Spike quipped dryly.
"Well there's such a thing as a haircut, Fuzzy, you should try that sometime!" Faye huffed, putting her rubber gloved hands on her hips. The yellow latex matched her outfit almost perfectly. "It's so damn hot in here! And I'm dying of thirst!"
Ed's stomach growled as though on cue. "Ooh, Ed's tummy is still hungry! Ed wants a chicken…or a chicken bone."
Jet turned back toward the sink. "We'll work on that once we're through," he snapped his own yellow gloves back into place- seeing Jet with a pair of latex kitchen gloves was a sight to see on its own. "We've only got this little bit left to…WHAT?!"
His eyes rounded when he saw where a short stack of dishes should've been. It'd grown about a foot in the last five minutes.
Whatever morale that had been left instantly vaporized. Faye flailed her arms, residual water on her gloves speckling Ed's face.
"How did those get there?!"
"Wish I knew," Jet grumbled.
Ed crouched down to sweep the broken glass onto her dishtowel then threw it away in the garbage can behind her. Sluggishly she returned to her place at the end of the line, next to Faye. However, as soon as Jet plunged his hands back into the now lukewarm water in the basin, the kitchen door swung wide open.
The small man who owned the Cactus Café –(an increasing awareness came about small men owning the businesses in New Oregon)- sauntered in with a smile. He was greeted by four blank stares. Just what in the heck could this guy smile about?
"Good news!"
"Thrilled to hear it," Spike replied sardonically.
If Mr. Cactus Café had found offense in the sarcasm, he didn't make any note of it.
"You're free to go! The expenses have been paid off in full!"
Faye seemed positively ecstatic. "We washed all 2500 double dollars off? We're done?!"
Mr. Cactus Café laughed loudly. "It would've taken you weeks to pay that off by only doing dishes, little lady."
She arched a brow and stared down her nose at him. Just who was he calling little? A warning glance from Jet prevented any harsh words from escaping Faye's lips.
"So then what exactly are you saying? Someone bailed us from lifelong dish duty?" Spike asked, patting his hidden breast pocket. The lone cigarette remained from Wolfwood- that would help relieve some stress.
The café owner chuckled, winking at Faye. "If I'd known you were all in cahoots with the Stampede, this whole mess would've been cleared from the get-go. See- I thought he was just trying to be nice, helping you out earlier. If I'd known…"
"In cahoots?" Jet inquired with an underlying tone of disbelief. "With that moron?"
A laugh erupted from Mr. Cactus Café, tears streaming down his cheeks. Jet didn't find it as funny.
"What?"
"Mr. Stampede said you'd say something like that. He said it's because he's dating your sister."
Mirth was far from the expression on Faye's face. If steam could have poured from her ears it would have. Ed pointed at her female crewmate.
"You mean Faye-Faye?"
The owner nodded, "He paid the debt in full. Missy, you're one lucky gal to have someone that devoted. By the way, when's the wedding?"
The shock on her face could hardly be described. It was something likened to her betting on every single dog or pony in a race and not winning a single woolong.
"Gee Faye, I didn't know you were getting married. Congratulations." Spike smirked as she fumed.
Mr. Cactus Café chuckled, looking to Spike. "You must be her ex- yes, Mr. Stampede said you were the jealous type- I can hear it in your voice."
It was Spike's turn to look absolutely shocked. "Me and her?!"
Jet cracked a smile.
Ed whooped, "Yay! A wedding! Ed can be the flowery-flower Ed!"
Raising a brow, Jet wondered how she this kid could be a genius when she was oh so simple minded.
Faye continued fuming but did so silently. She wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth, even if it was a gift horse from an imbecile.
As they moved to leave and collect Ein, who could be hear whimpering outside the doors, the owner raised his hand to stop them.
"Wait just a moment, folks! I've yet to give you your dues! You worked seven long hours without a single complaint, the kitchen looks great, and there's not a broken glass in sight."
Ed looked momentarily guilty. Nobody noticed.
Mr. Cactus Café handed an envelope to Jet. "One hundred double dollars."
It wasn't much. However, it was better than no double dollars, and this was one hundred more than they had before.
Without so much as a thank you to him, however (as if one was even deserved) the crew stumbled out the door, tossing their yellow gloves on the ground as they left. Their first step outside told them that night had already fallen. An entire day had been wasted just by washing dishes.
Ed tentatively took another step and looked around, her golden eyes seeming to glow in the dark.
"Ein?"
A responsive bark sounded from a bit down the way, far from where the dog had been tied in front of the café. Ed turned around to see the Welsh corgi bounding down to her, yipping, and a tall gangly figure chasing after him.
Jet, Spike, and Faye turned sharply to look in the canine's direction as Ed let out the most girly sounding shriek at the sight of the approaching figure. If anything else, that pretty much confirmed the eccentric kid's gender.
"It's a strange, stranger, stranger-man alien!"
If anyone was the alien…
When Ein's pursuer drew closer, though, it was clear he wasn't an alien, although it was a debatable subject matter.
"Hello!" Vash the Stampede grinned, raising one hand in greeting.
Faye lunged at him and punched him, her fist landing hard against his cheek. "What the hell were you thinking you spiky haired moron?! Your girlfriend?!"
The gunman rubbed his cheek, perplexed for a moment, and then took on a sparkly eyed, goofy grinning visage. "Wow, that's a mean left hook there, honey, it hurt so good."
Seething, Faye clenched her hands into fists but didn't say anything more. Rather, Jet spoke up, asking the question they all had on their minds.
"Why did you help us? Don't get me wrong, man, we appreciate it, but you didn't have to and you did."
Vash continued grinning, "I felt bad. That wasn't your fault, what happened, so I pulled some strings…besides, I could've leave this damsel in distress, could I? Doing dishes makes your hands all pruned."
Nobody mentioned they had worn gloves. Nor did anyone ask how Vash got the money to pay Mr. Cactus Café when he didn't have it seven hours earlier. Instead, they turned around to head back to the inn. They were tired…and hungry. It was a shame there was no food to be eaten.
Ed's stomach growled loudly and her amber eyes widened before she blushed and grinned. "Ed's still hungry!"
Faye replied flatly, "You're not the only one."
"Even Jet's beefless bell peppers and beef sounds good right now," Spike agreed, hands in his pocket, lanky form slouching.
Jet arched a brow, eyeballing Spike. "At least you got to eat- which reminds me…why weren't any of us smart enough to bring food with us?"
There was no answer. As the crew stood there pondering this question, undoubtedly trying to decide who to blame for it, Vash grinned broadly. When he didn't say anything, four pairs of eyes turned on him expectantly, waiting for him to give the reason behind the smile.
"You four are so funny," he laughed, aqua eyes shining. "I'll cave this time and give you something to eat. But first thing tomorrow, you should go back out to your ship and get what you need from it."
Faye nearly dropped dead. "You mean walk all the way back there? It took us forever just to get here! I'm too old for this stuff."
The gunman quirked a brow, "Pardon me, but you don't look a day over twenty-two; how can you be too old?"
Spike coughed lightly. It was a secret that only the crewmembers shared, and most of the time, it was a touchy subject.
"Looks can be deceiving, ooh, spooky!" Ed wriggled her fingers then resumed clutching her stomach, clenching her teeth in an uncomfortable grin.
Faye only glared, her jade eyes shooting daggers at the kid. However, a sigh escaped her lips. Going back for forgotten accommodations would probably be a good idea. Besides- she really needed her make-up, some clean clothes, and her issue of Venus Fashion Monthly.
"I don't feel like walkin' all the way back," Jet grunted, "but the BeBop needs to be checked on. I saw the way those people were looking at my baby, ready to scavenge whatever they wanted. So," he paused to look over a still grinning Vash, "just how do we get back there?"
"You mean you don't remember?" Vash inquired incredulously.
"How could we? It was night time and you and your friends were leading us. We couldn't see a damn thing," Jet snapped, his patience wearing thin. "It's a long way back, too- it took a long time just to get here."
The gunman tilted his head to the side, "Well, if we hadn't have gotten a bit lost, it wouldn't have taken so long, really. But if you really don't feel like walking, maybe you could rent a Tomas or two."
"A…Tomas?" Spike repeated the word to himself once more. "Isn't that someone's name?"
Vash blinked, "It could be, sure, but you ride Tomases- everyone knows that."
"Everyone but the out-of-towners," Spike mumbled.
The gunman laughed, "Well then! I think I'll make it my duty to show you how to ride them then. But we can do that tomorrow. What do you say we go and eat? My treat, ok?"
Ed whooped in joy. "Yippee! Food for Ed!" As she danced in place, Ed raced around her slender form, barking loudly.
Even though Faye still wanted to beat the living daylights out of him, she figured the abuse could be put off if Vash was willing to provide them with dinner. She knew he wasn't a bad guy, his heart was in the right place, but he had to be one of the most perverted, girl-crazy men she'd ever met.
The BeBop Crew consented, their stomachs screaming over their brains, and they followed Vash for dinner. The real adventure wouldn't begin until the next day…
* * *
"What the hell is that thing?" Faye Valentine pointed at three very strange looking furred beasts.
Vash stood before the woman and her crewmates, dressed down in a pair of jeans and a white button up shirt, un-tucked and concealing the silver gun holstered at his side. He grinned widely.
"So who's riding with me?"
Faye arched a brow. "You didn't answer my question!"
"It's a Tomas; I told you that yesterday, don't you remember?" The gunman mused, still smiling easily to the group.
Jet shook his head, "I am not riding one of those funky looking things."
Ed flailed her arms, jumping, "Ed wants to ride the furry Tomas! Pick Ed; pick Ed to ride in the wind, wind, windy desert!"
Spike merely stood there enjoying the cigarette from the pack he bought with his share of the remainder of the double dollars earned.
Vash stared at the group. The big guy didn't want any part of it- and no offense meant to him, but he was almost as big as the Tomas was, so speed would've been a serious issue. The crazy kid might fall off…or try to go gallivanting halfway to Little Timbuktu for all her knew, though she certainly was enthused about it.
That left only three other candidates and Vash was not going to pick the dog.
"You two," he said gesturing to Spike and Faye. "You're the best ones to go, so saddle up and we'll ride into the sunset."
Spike ground his cigarette into the sand, rather indifferent about if he went or not. "Its morning, you idiot," he berated rather calmly, "The sun rose three hours ago- don't you remember waking us all up?"
Vash shuffled the ground with his feet and grinned again. "Sorry about that- I figured you'd want to get an early start, but I didn't know who would be going. But I see now that Spike and Faye are the best candidates for Tomas-riders. So let's go!"
The *Martian with green hair stepped forward to one of the three Tomases, giving it another once over before he grabbed the reigns. "So how do you ride one of these things? Like a horse?"
Faye sauntered up to another Tomas, eyeing it as it pressed a long furred nose to her shoulder. To her it looked like a furry ostrich, or something of the like.
"Ugh, horses…I bet on those, not ride them." She grumbled but knew she'd ride the animal to the ship anyway. She had personal effects to gather that she didn't need anyone else's grubby hands on.
Vash tilted his head at the mention of the word horse. "What's a horse?" he asked, rather innocently. Nobody on Gunsmoke ever saw one before and seldom heard of them. The Tomas was their main source of transportation if they couldn't go by vehicle.
The BeBop crew exchanged wary expressions- none of them felt like explaining it at the moment. Jet waved a hand.
"Get going then if you're gonna go. Spike- can you remember to bring my Bonsais?" the built man raised his bushy black brows to his crewmate, staring pointedly. His precious trees hadn't been tended to for two days now- he didn't even know if they survived the worm hole.
Spike only nodded, swinging up onto the saddle of the Tomas rather easily, the animal bearing him without budging or sound of complaint. Vash had already mounted, appearing to be perched rather awkwardly on the saddle. The men waited for Faye to finally jump onto the remaining Tomas, and when she did, the animal made an odd noise but didn't move.
"Um, are you sure this is safe?" Faye questioned, arching a brow to Vash.
The gunman laughed, waving a hand nonchalantly, though was sweating visibly on his forehead. "Sure! It's absolutely safe, I do it all the time, so don't you worry fair maiden!"
"Oh brother," Spike muttered, wishing he had another cigarette.
Ed moved to the Tomases, pouting. "Ed wanted to go! Why can't Ed go and be a cowgirl?"
Ein barked his protest as well, but Jet called them both back. Skinny kid and dog, huffing, backed away from the strange beasts.
"Faye-Faye, bring my new microchip back with you! Ed can fix her computer with it!! It's vital to our escape, escape from this desert, and sandy, spooky place!"
The woman scoffed but nodded her consent to do so and wiped her forehead. "Can we go now before I die of sunstroke here?"
Vash raised a hand, the other holding the reigns. "As you wish, my fair lady! Hi-ho Silver, away!"
As he shouted, his heels kicked at the Tomas' sides, causing the animal to jerk forward with its rider bobbing precariously atop. Unfortunately, the other two Tomases followed suit, though Spike and Faye had a much better chance of staying on their mounts.
Spike growled as they weaved back and forth over the sand, leaving a laughing Jet and Ed far behind.
"Gah, I thought you said you did this all the time!!"
Vash's aqua eyes had gone wide as his Tomas veered wildly to dodge a group of cacti. "Kyaah!!" he laughed nervously, "I do! I never said I did it well! Just try not to fall off, ok?!"
Faye clung to the Tomas as tightly as she could, emerald eyes unblinking in fear that she'd not see an obstacle and end up careening over the head and breaking her neck. She shuddered.
"You moron! You're gonna get us killed! When we get to the ship, I'm going to claw your eyes out!"
"Easy does it, Faye," Spike called, bringing his Tomas beside his female crewmate. "He's our guide, remember that- if you promise to kill him after we get back, I'll help you hold him down."
"Then we have an agreement!" she shrieked, swinging her head to miss an outstretched cactus limb. "That's if we don't get killed on the way there, Fuzzy!"
Spike chuckled and kept his mouth shut, though from time to time would laugh aloud at the hard time the gunman's mount was giving him. It was going to be an interesting ride…
**A/N** ^_^; So sorry this chapter is late in being posted- thank you so much for being patient though, readers, I hope I didn't disappoint you!
Upcoming Chapter:
Session 12- Blood & Thunder
When Spike, Faye, and Vash finally arrive at the site of the crash, they're completely oblivious to what shall soon happen. As the BeBop crewmates gather their belongings, Vash patiently waits outside and finds himself face to face with none other than Midvalley the Horn Freak. But the Master Saxer has brought company, and the first showdown begins…
**By the way! If you remembered that I mentioned the reference of the character reference Ed impersonates, then make sure you're thinking of that character RIGHT NOW…are you thinking? Read the line again if you have to! ^__^ I'll post the answer on the next chapter and you'll have an honorable mention if you guessed correctly XD