Thanks for the reviews! =^~^=
I think you know who's POV this is by now, right?
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Botan was ill.
The words became the metronome that guided my steps as they pulsed in my thoughts. I sighed inwardly. I hoped that Botan wasn't allergic to the ingredients to the cure for the Living Death. I didn't know an antidote right off the top of my thoughts. If I couldn't find the antidote, she could die. It would be my fault.
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"Kurama! It's about time! What took you so long?!" Koenma demanded.
"I don't exactly have an oar I can ride to get to this point," I said breathlessly. "Where is she?"
"Where's who?"
"Botan!"
"Down the hallway to your left."
I nodded briefly and followed his directions. The room was dark. I groped along the wall blindly, searching for the light switch. At last I managed to find it and clicked it up. I looked around the room. Botan was hidden under the covers. The blankets were over her head.
I swallowed nervously. I was in Botan's room. Why did it give me a sense of unease? "Botan?" I whispered. It came out as a whisper. I tried it again.
The lump of sheets shifted and I was able to see Botan's pale face. "Are you…very ill?" I asked stupidly.
"I don't know. It was fine this morning, but now…" She groaned slightly and rolled over to her other side. "It just happened all of a sudden. I was going to pick up this person to take across the Sanzu River and I passed out. I don't even know how I got here."
I gazed at her sympathetically. Poor thing. I brought my hand to her forehead to test her fever. I blinked. There wasn't any unnatural warmth. It was a normal temperature. "Botan, you haven't got a fever. You aren't faking this to get out of working are you?" I murmured thoughtfully.
"No, I don't feel fine. I feel like I'm going to be sick but I don't have the energy to get up and be sick." She said all of this in a tiny voice.
I pressed my fingers lightly to her throat. Her pulse was normal as well. If she had allergies to any ingredient in the cure for the Living Death then her pulse would be faster than normally.
Kill her while she's suffering. She deserves this for being so fickle in her decisions, Youko sneered at her via my thoughts.
'No one deserves to be struck down during an illness,' I thought back at him irritably. 'Except you, perhaps.'
That would mean you would die as well, Youko retorted. I can always take over some poor human's body while you're going to either Makai or Reikai. Or maybe you'd go to Yomi.
(A/N: I think Yomi is a character off of YYH, but I'm not using it as a character. In my mythology Yomi is the Land of Gloom. I guess it's described as the depths of Reikai where Hiei's Dragon of the Darkness Flame comes from. {Yes, I'm ½ Japanese, people so that means I know these things and I'm not bullshitting})
I bit my lip in response to his words. I knew that he could always return and take the form of some unlucky victim. That's why I bear this burden as well as I can—so no one can know how hellacious my life is because of Youko. I forced my thoughts back to something that mattered much more than myself. Botan seemed to be in pain. Her hand was clenching the pillow beneath her head. "Where are you hurting?" I asked quickly.
She shook her head in response.
"What…what does that mean? You don't hurt?"
She shook her head again and clenched the pillow tighter. "I don't know exactly where I hurt. I just feel really uncomfortable and nauseous."
I frowned at the words. They made no sense to me, nor were they any help to me… or to her for that matter. I reached to take her hand and quickly drew back. Her hand was clammy. I focused on her ki. I raised an eyebrow. Her reiki was higher rather than lower like humans usually were when they were ill. This was extremely strange.
"How's your mother?" Botan asked, breaking me out of my confused thoughts. She was trying to strike a conversation.
"She's fine. She wants to do the housework things for me. She claims that I do far too much for her that I'm spoiling her." I gave her a wry smile. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason. I'm glad to know that someone here treats you the way you deserve."
"What do you mean by that? I don't deserve half of the nice things I've had happen to me. Not that much of nice things have happened lately, but I'm grateful for my mother's health and that night when you…perhaps I'll stop while I'm ahead." I felt my cheeks flush as my thoughts returned to the night Botan allowed me to mark her. It seemed like such a long time ago.
Her amused smile was enough to brighten my gloomy mood. "Yes, you probably should. You wouldn't want to embarrass yourself, would you?"
"Of course not. Not in front of you, anyway."
She giggled faintly and touched my hand as if she were deep in thought. "I'm…glad you came."
"I beg your pardon?" I stuttered. "Why? I thought you wanted me to be far from you until you decided things for tomorrow…I suppose that since you're ill, it doesn't matter much now, does it?"
"Lord Koenma thinks I have an allergic reaction to something that you used to help save everyone," she said.
I nodded in agreement.
"There's something to that, though. No one would have an allergy to anything in the cure to the Living Death. We—Lord Koenma and I—make sure that humans born won't be allergic to anything from Reikai that could save them. That would count for me too."
"Perhaps you're an exception? There are exceptions to everything whether we realize it or not."
"No," she rebutted in a flat tone. "It's not an allergy problem. It's something else. You of all people should know that allergies with plants…or anything organic would make a person swell up. I'm not swelling up. I'm fine, but I still feel weaker."
I couldn't reply. Somehow she had managed to assume a sitting position without my knowing. Her hand was making a trail down my cheeks then through my hair. I sat frozen at her bedside. Her touch was still frightening to me despite the fact that she and I had made an internal bond.
"In these few hours, I've been able to think," she continued slowly.
I still was unable to reply. It was amazing that something so simple as her touch was enough to keep me from moving. I was sure that countless demons would love to have this advantage over me. "W-what have you been thinking?" I murmured breathlessly.
She said nothing and continued to run her fingers through my hair.
Youko growled something unintelligible in my thoughts.
'What?' I asked him. I only got a snarl in response. There was a sudden flash of heat and darkness. I was now where Youko had been. Youko had taken over.
'What was that for?!' I screamed at him.
I can't let you take all the fun, can I? As a demon, I'm a selfish being. Heh, you of all people should know that by now.
Botan gazed at me…Youko…with a rapt expression on her beautiful face. I felt myself smirk via Youko. He made my arms move to pull her closer to me. Her body tensed against my own. Obviously she was still afraid of him…or me?
"I'm not going to hurt you," Youko replied for me, kissing her cheek softly. "Even though you deserve it." I groaned in frustration, knowing Botan wouldn't be able to hear me—the human side of Youko and me. What he said wasn't the best thing to say.
Even so, her body relaxed. My fingers ran a familiar course down her bare shoulders. The oversize t-shirt she wore exposed her slender shoulders but nothing beyond that. For that I was grateful. At least I would be able to control Youko's animalistic impulses to an extent. Hopefully…
I nuzzled her. In a way, I felt silly. I was acting like a kitten in her presence. Youko…or was it me…was even purring. Botan didn't seem to mind that. She giggled and stroked my hair lightly. I nudged her hand gently. She smirked and scratched behind my ears…just as a human would do to a cat. The sensation was incredible. I had never felt anything as strange as this. It was enjoyable, but at the same time it felt partially degrading. I kissed her throat and purred with the rhythm of her pulse.
"Kurama…" Botan began.
My lips passed over hers, stopping her sentence passed the point of my name. The kiss deepened. I felt Botan pull away. "No! Stop!" she demanded, pushing me away.
Youko growled in protest and gripped her arms tightly. Botan winced in pain. I gazed at her as if hypnotized. I cleared my thoughts away and struggled to regain control. It was another mental war against myself. My head began to throb painfully when I finally managed to return to my human form. I let go of Botan's arms and clenched my hands into fists. I stared down at them in disgust.
I had almost lost control again. I almost let Youko kill her again. I closed my eyes tightly to fight back the tears of disgusted frustration. So close. If I had attempted to push Youko away a second later, it would've been too late. I stood. Why would Botan want anything to do with me when I was just going to kill her when I lost control? It would happen often if Botan and I were meant to be.
"Kurama, stop," my deity begged.
"Why? Aren't you afraid that I can kill you?" I replied flatly.
"Yes…but…" She stopped and gazed down at her bed.
"But what?"
"You're able to control Youko better now. I saw it. I felt it."
I looked back at her. "But…if I hadn't caught it just in time, I'm positive I wouldn't be able to talk to you this very moment."
"That doesn't matter. I'm alive and you controlled it." She smiled. "It doesn't matter, okay?"
I was lost for words. "And if I did kill you?"
"Then I'd be dead and there wouldn't be anything to fight against would there."
I faced her and smiled gratefully at her. "Thank you for having confidence in me."
"I'm going to have to have patience in you! You're going to have to be stuck with me until one of us dies," she said matter-of-factly.
I stared at in her confusion. "Explain what you mean to me slowly…in English, if you will."
She pouted. "You're making me say it, aren't you? You aren't any fun."
"What do you…"
"I love you Kurama. It took me getting sick to figure it out. I'm such a blonde," she said in a tiny voice. She held out her hand for me to take it.
I took it and allowed her to lead me back to sit at the bedside. "You choose me? Over Hiei?" I reiterated.
"Yes." She kissed me. "Is it okay with you?"
"Hell yeah," I blurted out. I noted what I said and blushed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that."
She giggled. Suddenly she winced. "What's wrong with me? Do you know?"
"I-I don't know. This is out of my hands," I apologized.
"Maybe Yukina…will know," she suggested.
I nodded and dashed to tell Koenma to get Yukina over as soon as possible.
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Yep, folks, another cliffie. If anyone can guess what's up with Botan, I'll give you cookies! Okay, not really, but maybe you could let me just put your name up for everyone to know that you guess right…sounds dumb, doesn't it? * shrug * Hopefully you enjoyed the semi-mushy parts! ^.^ Pretty please review!