A Different Path
Lethal's Quote: I'm not idiotic. Just stupid.
AN: Hi no one! It's me again! No on likes my story! GO NO ONE! *Sigh* Well, this is the third chapter. It's funnier then the last one. More people get introduced. Blah. Why do I write anything if no one reads it? I have nothing else to say. Blah. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Only own what I made up. Barbie is a trademark of Mattel. Has anyone else heard she broke up with Ken? I heard she ran away with Stacy to San Francisco.
//Telepathy// __________________________*_*___________________________________________
"Wow."
"God. You make it sound a lot more, uh, horrific then my history teachers."
"I can't believe they haven't taught 5th graders this yet."
My brother and I comment while Great-pa Kurt stays silent. I guess he was reminiscing. I like history but this is sort of messed up. The textbooks make it sound.... I don't know. Detached, maybe. Someone telling you first hand is totally different.
Suddenly mom's voice cuts through the broody silence.
"Ella! Jessi's here! I know you to love to talk!"
I wince. How I despise Jessi. We're polar opposites She's a bubbly, cheerleading, blondy, bitch. (AN: This kind of person is way to stereotyped on FF.net) I'm not. NO I'M NOT JEALOUS. I just think she's a biotch. No way, are we cousins.
"Ella! Jessi is waiting!"
I sigh. I hate birthdays.
Glancing over to great-pa and Nick I nod. "I better go. I want to hear more of the story, though." Then I yell towards the kitchen, "Coming!" ___________________________*_*_________________________________________
The kitchen is packed with relatives. Damn birthdays. One year closer to death. Who came up with this idiotic idea? I hope they killed him.
//Ella. Be good.//
Guess that's mom.
Oh, God.
It's HER. Jessi.
Kill me know and, please, make it quick.
"Uh, hi, uh, Jessi."
"Hello Ella! You haven't changed a tiny bit, sweetie! But what are you wearing? And what is a 'Blink-182'?"
Gag me now.
"Oh and your hair! It's shiny and all but its just flopped there! Let's go to your room and make some improvements before the rest of the guests arrive."
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GAG ME KNOW!!!
Mom says, "That's exactly what I said, Jessi. Hurry though, almost everyone is here."
Thanks oh so much for your support, Dearest Mother.
//You're welcome. Now go upstairs and listen to her. She'll be a good influence on you.//
So I end up getting dragged upstairs by my criminally insane cousin? Why does God hate me so?
"Okay, Ella, sweetheart, lets pick out something for you to wear first." The Perky Princesses From Hell says.
I try to block her voice out while she goes through my closet. I end up trying to analyze her and what screwed her up so bad.
Lets see, Full Name: Jessica Melinda Chuffer. Age: 17 ½. Hair: DIRTY blond Eyes: Hazel Grade: 12, senior Parents: Veronica and Gregory Chuffer Hobbies/Activities: Cheerleading, torture, tennis, manipulation, flirting, aggravating, complaining, bitching, criticizing and opps. I can never fully analyze her before going crazy.
Her squeaky voice interrupts my thoughts. I let my blocks get too weak. Damn.
"Kay, Ella. I think you will look absolutely adorable in this."
She then holds up the outfit that will forever haunt my nightmares: A light PURPLE turtleneck, no sleeves, a little white sweater vest and white Capri's with a UNICORN on the butt.
I scream. And scream.
She being who she is mistakes this for excitement. "I knew you'd love it!" she squeals.
I pant from the screaming, "How *pant* did that THING *pant* get in to MY *pant* closet?"
"Oh, remember," she says happily, "I got it for you last Christmas." She frowns, "Looks like you forgot to take the price tag off."
I attempt a glare, something I've perfected over the years.
It bounces off and doesn't affect her.
"Okay, now change and then we'll fix your hair."
Yeah. Right.
//Ella what did I say?//
//Mother. A unicorn. On the butt.//
//It's not that bad. Now wear it, I think its adorable. //
Geeze. Why the hell isn't Jessi Mom's daughter.
I sigh and put on a cheesy smile.
"You're right, Jessi. We can act like I'm a Barbie doll and fix my hair."
She squeals. "I knew you would agree. Here," she says holding it up.
I walk, across the room towards her. Unfortunately, I trip on a pile of dirty clothes. I bump into her.
Shit.
She disappears from my eyesight. Not again.
"Jessi where are you?" I call out, bending forward.
"Ella! I'm right under your shirt! Lift it up so I can go big again!"
I pick up the hideously purple shirt and suddenly see the miniature figure of my so much despised cousin.
"Move back," she says squeaking.
I take three steps back and suddenly Jessi is back to her normal size.
"Ella, be more careful. You know I hate going tiny."
At least you have powers.
I turn around and tell my sweet cousin to get out while I change.
The top looks ridiculous. I've never liked purple. Brings back bad memories of a childhood fear. Has to do with a T-rex. Don't ask.
The vest makes me look like some sort of granny. The Capri's look stupid, too. Well, duh, considering there's a unicorn on my ass.
At least they fit okay. And it's not like I care what my distant relatives think. No kids from school were invited. Except for dear Jessi.
I let the monster back in. She tells me I'm so cute. I tell her I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world.
She looks blank. I explain it's an old song.
She says whatever and puts my hair in pigtails.
Lets hear it for birthdays. ----------------------------------------_----------------------------------- ------------------------------
I head back down stairs. I know I don't care that much about my relatives but still. Humiliation is not fun in front of any one.
Oh no
Oh God no.
OH GOD NO!
My. Two. Best. Friends. Are. Here. They. Have. Cameras.
Have mercy on me.
They're staring at me now, mouths open. Slowly they smile, grin, giggle, laugh, cackle. They raise their cameras slowly. Click! Click! Click!
I start running back up the stairs, but Jessi is blocking my way. She is grinning too. Evilly.
I bet you a dollar she set this entire thing up. I'm broke by the way. She's coming down, forcing me down. I face her and glare.
I realize my two by 'best' friends are still taking more pictures of me. Hmmm.
With my back to them.
The unicorn.
Shit.
I scream.
They put down their cameras and are now lying down on the floor, holding their stomachs. Laughing.
I say, "I hate you all."
Jessi shrugs, "When haven't you?"
My two ex-best friends are calming down. They have it down to a gentle snicker.
I ask them what the hell they are doing here.
They answer getting wonderful blackmail pictures for future use.
I say screw them.
They say they love me too.
I say go to hell.
They say they'll meet me there.
I say I forgive them.
They say they'll delete all the pictures. Except for one.
I ask which one.
They say the unicorn.
I say they are evil.
They say they will enlarge it and frame it for me.
I say I prefer cash.
They say screw me.
I say I love them too.
And so the world continues.
AN: I'm done. For now. Type up some more later. Need at least one more review. Please. I'll put some family history in the AN notes later. If anyone cares. More X-men are to be painfully, slowly introduced. Bye. Peas be with you.
AN: Hi no one! It's me again! No on likes my story! GO NO ONE! *Sigh* Well, this is the third chapter. It's funnier then the last one. More people get introduced. Blah. Why do I write anything if no one reads it? I have nothing else to say. Blah. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Only own what I made up. Barbie is a trademark of Mattel. Has anyone else heard she broke up with Ken? I heard she ran away with Stacy to San Francisco.
//Telepathy// __________________________*_*___________________________________________
"Wow."
"God. You make it sound a lot more, uh, horrific then my history teachers."
"I can't believe they haven't taught 5th graders this yet."
My brother and I comment while Great-pa Kurt stays silent. I guess he was reminiscing. I like history but this is sort of messed up. The textbooks make it sound.... I don't know. Detached, maybe. Someone telling you first hand is totally different.
Suddenly mom's voice cuts through the broody silence.
"Ella! Jessi's here! I know you to love to talk!"
I wince. How I despise Jessi. We're polar opposites She's a bubbly, cheerleading, blondy, bitch. (AN: This kind of person is way to stereotyped on FF.net) I'm not. NO I'M NOT JEALOUS. I just think she's a biotch. No way, are we cousins.
"Ella! Jessi is waiting!"
I sigh. I hate birthdays.
Glancing over to great-pa and Nick I nod. "I better go. I want to hear more of the story, though." Then I yell towards the kitchen, "Coming!" ___________________________*_*_________________________________________
The kitchen is packed with relatives. Damn birthdays. One year closer to death. Who came up with this idiotic idea? I hope they killed him.
//Ella. Be good.//
Guess that's mom.
Oh, God.
It's HER. Jessi.
Kill me know and, please, make it quick.
"Uh, hi, uh, Jessi."
"Hello Ella! You haven't changed a tiny bit, sweetie! But what are you wearing? And what is a 'Blink-182'?"
Gag me now.
"Oh and your hair! It's shiny and all but its just flopped there! Let's go to your room and make some improvements before the rest of the guests arrive."
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GAG ME KNOW!!!
Mom says, "That's exactly what I said, Jessi. Hurry though, almost everyone is here."
Thanks oh so much for your support, Dearest Mother.
//You're welcome. Now go upstairs and listen to her. She'll be a good influence on you.//
So I end up getting dragged upstairs by my criminally insane cousin? Why does God hate me so?
"Okay, Ella, sweetheart, lets pick out something for you to wear first." The Perky Princesses From Hell says.
I try to block her voice out while she goes through my closet. I end up trying to analyze her and what screwed her up so bad.
Lets see, Full Name: Jessica Melinda Chuffer. Age: 17 ½. Hair: DIRTY blond Eyes: Hazel Grade: 12, senior Parents: Veronica and Gregory Chuffer Hobbies/Activities: Cheerleading, torture, tennis, manipulation, flirting, aggravating, complaining, bitching, criticizing and opps. I can never fully analyze her before going crazy.
Her squeaky voice interrupts my thoughts. I let my blocks get too weak. Damn.
"Kay, Ella. I think you will look absolutely adorable in this."
She then holds up the outfit that will forever haunt my nightmares: A light PURPLE turtleneck, no sleeves, a little white sweater vest and white Capri's with a UNICORN on the butt.
I scream. And scream.
She being who she is mistakes this for excitement. "I knew you'd love it!" she squeals.
I pant from the screaming, "How *pant* did that THING *pant* get in to MY *pant* closet?"
"Oh, remember," she says happily, "I got it for you last Christmas." She frowns, "Looks like you forgot to take the price tag off."
I attempt a glare, something I've perfected over the years.
It bounces off and doesn't affect her.
"Okay, now change and then we'll fix your hair."
Yeah. Right.
//Ella what did I say?//
//Mother. A unicorn. On the butt.//
//It's not that bad. Now wear it, I think its adorable. //
Geeze. Why the hell isn't Jessi Mom's daughter.
I sigh and put on a cheesy smile.
"You're right, Jessi. We can act like I'm a Barbie doll and fix my hair."
She squeals. "I knew you would agree. Here," she says holding it up.
I walk, across the room towards her. Unfortunately, I trip on a pile of dirty clothes. I bump into her.
Shit.
She disappears from my eyesight. Not again.
"Jessi where are you?" I call out, bending forward.
"Ella! I'm right under your shirt! Lift it up so I can go big again!"
I pick up the hideously purple shirt and suddenly see the miniature figure of my so much despised cousin.
"Move back," she says squeaking.
I take three steps back and suddenly Jessi is back to her normal size.
"Ella, be more careful. You know I hate going tiny."
At least you have powers.
I turn around and tell my sweet cousin to get out while I change.
The top looks ridiculous. I've never liked purple. Brings back bad memories of a childhood fear. Has to do with a T-rex. Don't ask.
The vest makes me look like some sort of granny. The Capri's look stupid, too. Well, duh, considering there's a unicorn on my ass.
At least they fit okay. And it's not like I care what my distant relatives think. No kids from school were invited. Except for dear Jessi.
I let the monster back in. She tells me I'm so cute. I tell her I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world.
She looks blank. I explain it's an old song.
She says whatever and puts my hair in pigtails.
Lets hear it for birthdays. ----------------------------------------_----------------------------------- ------------------------------
I head back down stairs. I know I don't care that much about my relatives but still. Humiliation is not fun in front of any one.
Oh no
Oh God no.
OH GOD NO!
My. Two. Best. Friends. Are. Here. They. Have. Cameras.
Have mercy on me.
They're staring at me now, mouths open. Slowly they smile, grin, giggle, laugh, cackle. They raise their cameras slowly. Click! Click! Click!
I start running back up the stairs, but Jessi is blocking my way. She is grinning too. Evilly.
I bet you a dollar she set this entire thing up. I'm broke by the way. She's coming down, forcing me down. I face her and glare.
I realize my two by 'best' friends are still taking more pictures of me. Hmmm.
With my back to them.
The unicorn.
Shit.
I scream.
They put down their cameras and are now lying down on the floor, holding their stomachs. Laughing.
I say, "I hate you all."
Jessi shrugs, "When haven't you?"
My two ex-best friends are calming down. They have it down to a gentle snicker.
I ask them what the hell they are doing here.
They answer getting wonderful blackmail pictures for future use.
I say screw them.
They say they love me too.
I say go to hell.
They say they'll meet me there.
I say I forgive them.
They say they'll delete all the pictures. Except for one.
I ask which one.
They say the unicorn.
I say they are evil.
They say they will enlarge it and frame it for me.
I say I prefer cash.
They say screw me.
I say I love them too.
And so the world continues.
AN: I'm done. For now. Type up some more later. Need at least one more review. Please. I'll put some family history in the AN notes later. If anyone cares. More X-men are to be painfully, slowly introduced. Bye. Peas be with you.