1 Chapter 2: Ocelot's Challenge
Disclaimer: I don't own MGS, or Solid Snake, or half the other stuff that appears in the damn story.
Snake walked out of his house to his car. He started driving to the baker when he looked into the window of the car in front of him. He saw Jack in the car, with a bunch of other girls?
"Raiden is a PIMP??" screamed Snake at the top of his lungs.
He never seen Raiden with so many girls, because he never thought it was possible. He pulled up next to him, and on closer inspection, He saw it was just Rose. Snake just shook his head and started towards the bakery again. He got out of the car, and brought his gun.
"Better hide this." He said as he stepped out of the car.
He then opened the door of the bakery and went to the counter. Snake stood and watched as the fat slob of a baker sat behind the counter watching some baseball game.
"Hello?" said Snake as he looked at the sorry piece of crap that sat in front of him.
Snake just got to business and pulled out his gun. Having the gun pointed at his head, the baker finally gave a damn and came back to the real world. "Wh..wh..What do you want?" the baker asked with a whimper.
"My birthday cake." Replied Snake with anger in his voice
The baker's eyes lit up. "Your Dave Pliskin?"
"Yeah, that's right. And now, because you won't bake my cake, I'm going to shot you." Said Snake. As you can see he was pretty pissed.
"Hey, it wasn't my choice to not bake the cake. It, was..."
A loud gunshot was heard.
"It was my decision." Said a very familiar voice.
"OCELOT!!!" yelled Snake.
"That's right. I wanted you to suffer and toil under the weight of making your own cake. We're going to play a little game, but if the pressure to bake your own cake becomes to great, just give up and your suffering will end, But if you do, the cake is mine."
"That's just fucking stupid." Said Snake as Ocelot finished telling Snake his "evil" plan.
"NO, IT'S A WORK OF ART!!!" yelled Ocelot. "Ok, lets begin." He said as he tossed Snake a cooking apron.
"You never even told me what to do." Said Snake confused.
"You must figure that out yourself." Said Ocelot, with a hint of evil in his voice.
Snake then went into the back. He stood there for at least 10 minuets wondering what to do.
Ocelot, fed up with him just standing there, angrily told him what to do. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BAKE YOU OWN CAKE!!!!!"
Snake stood there blankly. "I don't know how to cook."
"Then, this should be interesting. HAHAHAHAHA, HAHAHA!!!! MWAHAHAHA-cough, cough. Aha." Said Ocelot with the want-a-be evil in his voice.
"You think its funny when someone doesn't pay attention to home economics?" said Snake angrily.
"You took home economics?" asked Ocelot in an almost amused voice.
"Yeah, I had no choice. Big Boss made me take every class to be his 'Good little killing machine.' He even forced me to wear a pink apron and a blue bonnet." Said Snake, now embarrassed realizing he gave too much info away.
"WAH??? HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" said Ocelot, who was now on the ground rolling around in laughter.
"Hey, that's not funny, stop laughing!!!" Yelled Snake angrily
"I'm sorry, but just image it for a second." Replied Ocelot between breaths. Snake stood in a trance for a minuet thinking this over. He too then started laughing.
"OH MY GOD WHAT WAS I THINKING LETTING MY TEACHER PUT ME IN THAT STUFF!!!" said Snake in the middle of his laughing.
"Yeah, that's is pretty funny, NOW BAKE THE DAMN CAKE!!!" yelled Ocelot.
Snake though long and hard how to do it, but all that kept popping up was Meryl.
"Meryl will know, I think." He mumbled to himself. "Hey Shalashaka, can I use the phone?" said Snake.
"Um, what? Oh, go ahead." Replied Ocelot, eating a muffin. 'You dumb ass' replied a voice in his brain.
"Liquid!!" yelled Ocelot.
Snake looked up from the phone and said, "Liquid, where?"
Meryl replied on the other side of the phone "Liquid is dead."
"I wasn't talking to you baby. Anyway, how do you bake a cake?"
******
'Why are you letting him use the phone? Who do you think he's calling? HE COULD BE CHEATING, AND YOUR LETTING HIM USE THE PHONE????' said Revolver Liquid
"Um, yeah" Ocelot replied to, um, err, himself.
'UHU, I'll take it from here." Said the Liquid Ocelot
"My brain!!" yelled Ocelot. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"Hello brother." Said Ocelot/Liquid.
"LIQUID!!!!!!!" yelled Snake. "You're supposed to be dead!"
"You know I'm still alive you idiot." Replied the, what it is. Use your imagination.
"No one calls me and idiot, especially my own brother!!" yelled Snake. He then pulled out his gun and shot. "Yippy Ki Yay, MuttaFucka" (Quite the rip off isn't it, but again, read the disclaimer)
OceLiquid fell to the floor with a thud. Snake went over the body and examined it, but realized that the bullet hole wasn't a fatal area. "He'll be back. I know it."
Snake then stole a cake from the glass case in the counter, took it home, and began making preparations for the birthday party.
Meanwhile, back at the bakery, Revolver Liquid is planning their(?) evil scheme.
"Liquid" Ocelot said to himself. "I have a great idea. We should hijack a tank and blow up Snake's house." He said with glee.
'Ohh, I'm driving.' Said Liquid.
"No, I'm driving." Said Ocelot.
As he was arguing with himself, an old woman walked by, and noticed this scene. Revolver Liquid noticed the old woman, and began explaining.
"Well you see..." started Revolver Liquid.
During Revolver Liquid's explanation, I, the crappy author/narrator did something from old cartoons. WILL SNAKE HAVE HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY? WILL MERYL BE INVITED TO HIS BIRTHDAY? WILL JACK GET A HAIRCUT TO NOT BE MISTAKEN AS A GIRL? WILL REVOLVER LIQUID'S FENDISH PLOT GET OFF THE GROUND? TOON IN NEXT...ER.... CHAPTER FOR THE CONCLUSION OF THIS...UM...CHAPTER?
Disclaimer: I don't own MGS, or Solid Snake, or half the other stuff that appears in the damn story.
Snake walked out of his house to his car. He started driving to the baker when he looked into the window of the car in front of him. He saw Jack in the car, with a bunch of other girls?
"Raiden is a PIMP??" screamed Snake at the top of his lungs.
He never seen Raiden with so many girls, because he never thought it was possible. He pulled up next to him, and on closer inspection, He saw it was just Rose. Snake just shook his head and started towards the bakery again. He got out of the car, and brought his gun.
"Better hide this." He said as he stepped out of the car.
He then opened the door of the bakery and went to the counter. Snake stood and watched as the fat slob of a baker sat behind the counter watching some baseball game.
"Hello?" said Snake as he looked at the sorry piece of crap that sat in front of him.
Snake just got to business and pulled out his gun. Having the gun pointed at his head, the baker finally gave a damn and came back to the real world. "Wh..wh..What do you want?" the baker asked with a whimper.
"My birthday cake." Replied Snake with anger in his voice
The baker's eyes lit up. "Your Dave Pliskin?"
"Yeah, that's right. And now, because you won't bake my cake, I'm going to shot you." Said Snake. As you can see he was pretty pissed.
"Hey, it wasn't my choice to not bake the cake. It, was..."
A loud gunshot was heard.
"It was my decision." Said a very familiar voice.
"OCELOT!!!" yelled Snake.
"That's right. I wanted you to suffer and toil under the weight of making your own cake. We're going to play a little game, but if the pressure to bake your own cake becomes to great, just give up and your suffering will end, But if you do, the cake is mine."
"That's just fucking stupid." Said Snake as Ocelot finished telling Snake his "evil" plan.
"NO, IT'S A WORK OF ART!!!" yelled Ocelot. "Ok, lets begin." He said as he tossed Snake a cooking apron.
"You never even told me what to do." Said Snake confused.
"You must figure that out yourself." Said Ocelot, with a hint of evil in his voice.
Snake then went into the back. He stood there for at least 10 minuets wondering what to do.
Ocelot, fed up with him just standing there, angrily told him what to do. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BAKE YOU OWN CAKE!!!!!"
Snake stood there blankly. "I don't know how to cook."
"Then, this should be interesting. HAHAHAHAHA, HAHAHA!!!! MWAHAHAHA-cough, cough. Aha." Said Ocelot with the want-a-be evil in his voice.
"You think its funny when someone doesn't pay attention to home economics?" said Snake angrily.
"You took home economics?" asked Ocelot in an almost amused voice.
"Yeah, I had no choice. Big Boss made me take every class to be his 'Good little killing machine.' He even forced me to wear a pink apron and a blue bonnet." Said Snake, now embarrassed realizing he gave too much info away.
"WAH??? HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" said Ocelot, who was now on the ground rolling around in laughter.
"Hey, that's not funny, stop laughing!!!" Yelled Snake angrily
"I'm sorry, but just image it for a second." Replied Ocelot between breaths. Snake stood in a trance for a minuet thinking this over. He too then started laughing.
"OH MY GOD WHAT WAS I THINKING LETTING MY TEACHER PUT ME IN THAT STUFF!!!" said Snake in the middle of his laughing.
"Yeah, that's is pretty funny, NOW BAKE THE DAMN CAKE!!!" yelled Ocelot.
Snake though long and hard how to do it, but all that kept popping up was Meryl.
"Meryl will know, I think." He mumbled to himself. "Hey Shalashaka, can I use the phone?" said Snake.
"Um, what? Oh, go ahead." Replied Ocelot, eating a muffin. 'You dumb ass' replied a voice in his brain.
"Liquid!!" yelled Ocelot.
Snake looked up from the phone and said, "Liquid, where?"
Meryl replied on the other side of the phone "Liquid is dead."
"I wasn't talking to you baby. Anyway, how do you bake a cake?"
******
'Why are you letting him use the phone? Who do you think he's calling? HE COULD BE CHEATING, AND YOUR LETTING HIM USE THE PHONE????' said Revolver Liquid
"Um, yeah" Ocelot replied to, um, err, himself.
'UHU, I'll take it from here." Said the Liquid Ocelot
"My brain!!" yelled Ocelot. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"Hello brother." Said Ocelot/Liquid.
"LIQUID!!!!!!!" yelled Snake. "You're supposed to be dead!"
"You know I'm still alive you idiot." Replied the, what it is. Use your imagination.
"No one calls me and idiot, especially my own brother!!" yelled Snake. He then pulled out his gun and shot. "Yippy Ki Yay, MuttaFucka" (Quite the rip off isn't it, but again, read the disclaimer)
OceLiquid fell to the floor with a thud. Snake went over the body and examined it, but realized that the bullet hole wasn't a fatal area. "He'll be back. I know it."
Snake then stole a cake from the glass case in the counter, took it home, and began making preparations for the birthday party.
Meanwhile, back at the bakery, Revolver Liquid is planning their(?) evil scheme.
"Liquid" Ocelot said to himself. "I have a great idea. We should hijack a tank and blow up Snake's house." He said with glee.
'Ohh, I'm driving.' Said Liquid.
"No, I'm driving." Said Ocelot.
As he was arguing with himself, an old woman walked by, and noticed this scene. Revolver Liquid noticed the old woman, and began explaining.
"Well you see..." started Revolver Liquid.
During Revolver Liquid's explanation, I, the crappy author/narrator did something from old cartoons. WILL SNAKE HAVE HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY? WILL MERYL BE INVITED TO HIS BIRTHDAY? WILL JACK GET A HAIRCUT TO NOT BE MISTAKEN AS A GIRL? WILL REVOLVER LIQUID'S FENDISH PLOT GET OFF THE GROUND? TOON IN NEXT...ER.... CHAPTER FOR THE CONCLUSION OF THIS...UM...CHAPTER?