Chapter 4: The Plot Thickens
Disclaimer: Still don't own really anything in the story, but my day will come!!!!
Notes: RL= Revolver Liquid
WARNING: THIS CHAPTER MAY NOT BE AS FUNNY AS THE PAST CHAPTERS, BUT I GUESS HUMOR IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER, SO ITS UP TO YOU, BUT DON'T SAY YOU WEREN'T WARNED!!!
Snake sat in his room. He was now asleep in the chair, with the TV still blaring in front of him. The cake, which was half eaten, was sitting on his lap, and his beer was spilled on the floor next to the recliner. He then woke up.
"Huh, what??" he said as he jolted up from his nice nap. He noticed on the TV an infomercial.
"Guaranteed to increase your breast size two cups in 3 months." Said the woman on the TV. Snake's attention was now soul focused on the TV.
"We are now going to show you pictures of the woman before and after the procedure." Said the TV.
Snake's eye's lit up.
"I never thought they could get that big!" said Snake. He was obviously having fun with this.
He continued watching till the infomercial turned from that to some golf club thing.
"What time is it?" he asked himself as he looked at his watch. It was 8:30 pm. He was about to walk out the door when Campbell knocked on the door.
"Are you home Snake?" yelled out Campbell. From across the street, the old dude who punched Liquid in the gut yelled from his bedroom.
"SHUT UP! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!!!!" yelled the old man.
Snake opened the door and shot the old man with his M9. He then turned to Campbell.
"Where the hell have you been?" asked Snake, who was pretty annoyed.
"Just come with me Snake." Said Campbell.
"Oh no Roy. Last time I did, I was launched out of a torpedo tube." Said Snake with a nervous expression.
"I promise it won't happen again, just come on." Said Campbell.
"Oh, Fine." Said Snake. They both got into Campbell's car and started driving.
"Oh, here's the only catch. You have to wear this blindfold." Said Roy.
"OH FINE!" yelled Snake. He put the blindfold on and sat back for the ride.
***********
'Ok, I'm stumped, where the hell are we?' asked Liquid, who was now angry. He thought Ocelot knew where the party hall was, but he was just driving in what seamed to be the middle of nowhere. Ocelot finally turned the corner, and was right back at where they started. Ocelot saw the crushed course of the storeowner, and decided to park there.
'Where are you going?' asked Liquid.
"To get a global positioning system. Why?" replied Ocelot.
'Will that really help?' asked Liquid.
"Sure will!" replied Ocelot.
'Excellent!' replied Liquid with glee.
RL then stopped the First person on the street, and asked them a question.
"Do you know where the Excelsior Party Hall is?" asked RL.
"Uh, yeah, I had my bachelor party there, but then my wife left me two weeks after the wedding. She also stole all my money and closes, and had my cat nutered. She even attempted to castrate...."
"Listen, asshole, I didn't ask for you fucking life story. Do you know where it is or not?" interrupted RL, who was quite annoyed by now.
"I just said yes and..UFF..."
RL punched him in the face and dragged him to the tank.
'That's your global positioning unit?' asked Liquid.
"Hey, as long as he gets us there." Said Ocelot.
Sure enough, the retard from the streets got them there.
'Finally.' Said Liquid.
"Ok asshole, you can leave now." Said RL.
"But, I need money, can't you spare even a dollar?"
"Hell no." said RL as he pulled out his revolver and shot the asshole square in the face.
"Now, lets go get Snake." Said Ocelot, but they had to hide behind the tank as they saw a car coming up.
'Who the hell is it?' asked Liquid. RL peaked around the corner of the tank and saw it Bob the Builder. (I'm Sorry, but my little brother and sister have made me watch that all day, and I JUST NEED TO KILL HIM!!!)
"WHAT THE HELL??" said RL. He quickly climbed back into the tank an launched a HEAT 10 shell at the fat little bastard.
"Well Rolly, we got to fix up this...."
KABOOOOOM!!!!!!!
A huge mushroom cloud rose from where the little bastard and his clay truck once stood. Their shadow's imprinted onto the ground.
"STUPID BASTARD, WHAT THE HELL DID THAT LITTLE ASSHOLE WANT!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Ocelot.
'Quiet, here comes someone else.' Said Liquid in an impatient voice.
********
Campbell pulled the car into the driveway. He then parked, got out of the car, opened Snake's door and led Snake to the door.
Snake being the stubborn person he was, refused to let Campbell help him.
"I'm alright" said Snake. He began walking, but walked right into a handicap sign.
"Liquid, now's our chance!" whispered Ocelot to himself.
'Not yet, don't kill him yet. Wait till he's inside so we can get him and his pesky friends.' Said Liquid.
"Wow, you have this all thought out already, don't you?" asked Ocelot
'Yep' said Liquid. They then climbed slowly into the tank and loaded a fresh shell into the gun turret.
Snake got up and continued to the banquet hall. When he walked inside, Campbell led him to room #296. Snake was then greeted with a huge birthday surprise...
*********
"SURPRISE!!" yelled everyone, as they jumped out of their hiding spaces. Snake couldn't help but give a smile. He saw the room, and thought it looked great.
"PIZZA, POOL!!!!" he yelled. Hi immediately ran to the pizza and picked up 5 slices, and then to the cooler and grabbed a beer, and finally to the pool table and challenged Raiden.
"Hey Raiden, I'm going to kick your ass at nine ball." Said Snake with a very competitive attitude.
*********
"Should I open fire?" asked Ocelot. He was ready to kick some ass.
'Just wait. Oh baby that cake looks good.' Said Liquid. He was having thoughts of going to hijack the cake then blow up the hall.
"Stay Focused!" yelled Ocelot. "Usually, I'm the one who nods off, what the hell is happening?"
'Hey, it was your body he shot, so as long as he didn't hit the head or arm, I couldn't care less.' Said Liquid.
"Those are the kinds of words that can get you chopped off!!" yelled Ocelot, but a cop car cut him off. The cop got out of the car and walked to the tank. He knocked on the hatch.
"Go away!!!" yelled RL
"Open up, Sheriff Nolan." Said the cop.
"Will you go away if we open up?" asked RL.
"Yes." Said the Sheriff
"Ok" said RL. He reluctantly opened hatch to reveal the Sheriff.
"You up to mischief boy?" asked the cop.
"No Sheriff." Said RL in a very innocent voice.
"Ok, play good boys." Said the Sheriff as he walked away.
'Its so amazing how people are so retarded in this town.' Said Liquid.
"I know what you mean." Said Ocelot.
'Ok, he's gone, you locked on yet?' asked Liquid.
"Yes, Boss" said Ocelot.
'Ready' said Liquid
"Why did I just call you boss?" asked Ocelot.
'Aim!' yelled Liquid
"Who do you think you are bossing me around?" asked Ocelot.
'FIRE!!!!' screamed Liquid
WILL SNAKE AND CO. DIE FROM THE TANK SHELL??? WILL I THINK OF BETTER MATTERIAL FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER???? WILL THE PARTY CONTINUE EVEN IF IT GETS BLOWN TO BITS?? TOON IN NEXT CHAPTER TO SEE!!
Disclaimer: Still don't own really anything in the story, but my day will come!!!!
Notes: RL= Revolver Liquid
WARNING: THIS CHAPTER MAY NOT BE AS FUNNY AS THE PAST CHAPTERS, BUT I GUESS HUMOR IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER, SO ITS UP TO YOU, BUT DON'T SAY YOU WEREN'T WARNED!!!
Snake sat in his room. He was now asleep in the chair, with the TV still blaring in front of him. The cake, which was half eaten, was sitting on his lap, and his beer was spilled on the floor next to the recliner. He then woke up.
"Huh, what??" he said as he jolted up from his nice nap. He noticed on the TV an infomercial.
"Guaranteed to increase your breast size two cups in 3 months." Said the woman on the TV. Snake's attention was now soul focused on the TV.
"We are now going to show you pictures of the woman before and after the procedure." Said the TV.
Snake's eye's lit up.
"I never thought they could get that big!" said Snake. He was obviously having fun with this.
He continued watching till the infomercial turned from that to some golf club thing.
"What time is it?" he asked himself as he looked at his watch. It was 8:30 pm. He was about to walk out the door when Campbell knocked on the door.
"Are you home Snake?" yelled out Campbell. From across the street, the old dude who punched Liquid in the gut yelled from his bedroom.
"SHUT UP! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!!!!" yelled the old man.
Snake opened the door and shot the old man with his M9. He then turned to Campbell.
"Where the hell have you been?" asked Snake, who was pretty annoyed.
"Just come with me Snake." Said Campbell.
"Oh no Roy. Last time I did, I was launched out of a torpedo tube." Said Snake with a nervous expression.
"I promise it won't happen again, just come on." Said Campbell.
"Oh, Fine." Said Snake. They both got into Campbell's car and started driving.
"Oh, here's the only catch. You have to wear this blindfold." Said Roy.
"OH FINE!" yelled Snake. He put the blindfold on and sat back for the ride.
***********
'Ok, I'm stumped, where the hell are we?' asked Liquid, who was now angry. He thought Ocelot knew where the party hall was, but he was just driving in what seamed to be the middle of nowhere. Ocelot finally turned the corner, and was right back at where they started. Ocelot saw the crushed course of the storeowner, and decided to park there.
'Where are you going?' asked Liquid.
"To get a global positioning system. Why?" replied Ocelot.
'Will that really help?' asked Liquid.
"Sure will!" replied Ocelot.
'Excellent!' replied Liquid with glee.
RL then stopped the First person on the street, and asked them a question.
"Do you know where the Excelsior Party Hall is?" asked RL.
"Uh, yeah, I had my bachelor party there, but then my wife left me two weeks after the wedding. She also stole all my money and closes, and had my cat nutered. She even attempted to castrate...."
"Listen, asshole, I didn't ask for you fucking life story. Do you know where it is or not?" interrupted RL, who was quite annoyed by now.
"I just said yes and..UFF..."
RL punched him in the face and dragged him to the tank.
'That's your global positioning unit?' asked Liquid.
"Hey, as long as he gets us there." Said Ocelot.
Sure enough, the retard from the streets got them there.
'Finally.' Said Liquid.
"Ok asshole, you can leave now." Said RL.
"But, I need money, can't you spare even a dollar?"
"Hell no." said RL as he pulled out his revolver and shot the asshole square in the face.
"Now, lets go get Snake." Said Ocelot, but they had to hide behind the tank as they saw a car coming up.
'Who the hell is it?' asked Liquid. RL peaked around the corner of the tank and saw it Bob the Builder. (I'm Sorry, but my little brother and sister have made me watch that all day, and I JUST NEED TO KILL HIM!!!)
"WHAT THE HELL??" said RL. He quickly climbed back into the tank an launched a HEAT 10 shell at the fat little bastard.
"Well Rolly, we got to fix up this...."
KABOOOOOM!!!!!!!
A huge mushroom cloud rose from where the little bastard and his clay truck once stood. Their shadow's imprinted onto the ground.
"STUPID BASTARD, WHAT THE HELL DID THAT LITTLE ASSHOLE WANT!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Ocelot.
'Quiet, here comes someone else.' Said Liquid in an impatient voice.
********
Campbell pulled the car into the driveway. He then parked, got out of the car, opened Snake's door and led Snake to the door.
Snake being the stubborn person he was, refused to let Campbell help him.
"I'm alright" said Snake. He began walking, but walked right into a handicap sign.
"Liquid, now's our chance!" whispered Ocelot to himself.
'Not yet, don't kill him yet. Wait till he's inside so we can get him and his pesky friends.' Said Liquid.
"Wow, you have this all thought out already, don't you?" asked Ocelot
'Yep' said Liquid. They then climbed slowly into the tank and loaded a fresh shell into the gun turret.
Snake got up and continued to the banquet hall. When he walked inside, Campbell led him to room #296. Snake was then greeted with a huge birthday surprise...
*********
"SURPRISE!!" yelled everyone, as they jumped out of their hiding spaces. Snake couldn't help but give a smile. He saw the room, and thought it looked great.
"PIZZA, POOL!!!!" he yelled. Hi immediately ran to the pizza and picked up 5 slices, and then to the cooler and grabbed a beer, and finally to the pool table and challenged Raiden.
"Hey Raiden, I'm going to kick your ass at nine ball." Said Snake with a very competitive attitude.
*********
"Should I open fire?" asked Ocelot. He was ready to kick some ass.
'Just wait. Oh baby that cake looks good.' Said Liquid. He was having thoughts of going to hijack the cake then blow up the hall.
"Stay Focused!" yelled Ocelot. "Usually, I'm the one who nods off, what the hell is happening?"
'Hey, it was your body he shot, so as long as he didn't hit the head or arm, I couldn't care less.' Said Liquid.
"Those are the kinds of words that can get you chopped off!!" yelled Ocelot, but a cop car cut him off. The cop got out of the car and walked to the tank. He knocked on the hatch.
"Go away!!!" yelled RL
"Open up, Sheriff Nolan." Said the cop.
"Will you go away if we open up?" asked RL.
"Yes." Said the Sheriff
"Ok" said RL. He reluctantly opened hatch to reveal the Sheriff.
"You up to mischief boy?" asked the cop.
"No Sheriff." Said RL in a very innocent voice.
"Ok, play good boys." Said the Sheriff as he walked away.
'Its so amazing how people are so retarded in this town.' Said Liquid.
"I know what you mean." Said Ocelot.
'Ok, he's gone, you locked on yet?' asked Liquid.
"Yes, Boss" said Ocelot.
'Ready' said Liquid
"Why did I just call you boss?" asked Ocelot.
'Aim!' yelled Liquid
"Who do you think you are bossing me around?" asked Ocelot.
'FIRE!!!!' screamed Liquid
WILL SNAKE AND CO. DIE FROM THE TANK SHELL??? WILL I THINK OF BETTER MATTERIAL FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER???? WILL THE PARTY CONTINUE EVEN IF IT GETS BLOWN TO BITS?? TOON IN NEXT CHAPTER TO SEE!!