Title: Thanks to You
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Fox does.
Summary: Takes place after the "The Secret" episode that aired Nov.26, 2003. Summer and Seth angst.
Rating: PG-13
Classification: S/S, S/A, R/M
Genre: romance; angst
Author's Note: It has been awhile since I have updated and I am sure a lot of you have forgotten what has happened in the previous chapter, so you might want to go back and browse through Chapter 4 before proceeding to this chapter. =)
Thanks to: TinySweetHeart, sammy11, Calliope-Soars, AlwaysADreamer, Ana, Spud14, jess, InAnMMMBop, XsesenX, Vero, Pri, Sethlover, Jenn, InFairVerona, Lori, SlippersGirly and Helena (Happy Birthday, hun!).
Extra thanks to Bob Dylan, Coldplay, Jet, Johnny Cash, Lynyrd Skynyrd and Kermit the Frog for their music while I was writing this fic.
Chapter 5: What I Want
"Really, Sum, it isn't the end of the world." Marissa had spent all morning trying to convince Summer that Seth and Anna together wasn't that bad. It was now one o'clock on a Saturday afternoon and Marissa would much rather be elsewhere. Like the Cohen's pool house.
Summer was laid out on her bed, staring at the ceiling. The last thing she wanted to look at was Marissa in her perfect little relationship. Vomit. So, she thought, all along Seth had lied to her. He couldn't find the decency to have told her about his new relationship. She made out with him in the bathroom for goodness sake! And the whole time he knew full well he was with Anna. Summer got off the bed, walked to her closet and began to rummage through all her clothing.
Marissa, who was on the floor, was indifferent to the fact that Summer had gotten up and continued flipping through Cosmo.
Moments later, Summer re-entered her bedroom and asked Marissa for her opinion on what she was wearing. "Wow. When did you leave the room?" Marissa asked.
"Ugh. Coop. Stay on topic, please? I need to go talk to Seth and I'm wondering if I look alright. I mean, I'm not trying to impress him or anything because ew! why would I want to do that?"
"Um… yeah, you definitely look hot, Sum. Except with that little number you two just might end up doing something a lot more than talking." Marissa smiled at her best friend and went back to reading her magazine.
Summer had decided on a tight-fitting yellow sundress that complimented her cleavage well. She finished it off with matching flip-flops. She grabbed the nearest purse and shoved all her essentials inside. "Coop, you want me to drop you off at your dad's or what?"
"Um … maybe the Cohen's?" She looked at Summer begging. "If it isn't too much trouble, I mean you do need to talk to Seth after all and that way you don't have to go out of our way or anything –"
"—Coop, shut up and get your stuff." Marissa suddenly lit up and rushed around the room to gather her things.
--
Once at the Cohen's, Marissa didn't bother to wait for Summer, she walked directly to the backyard in search of Ryan. Summer sighed and contemplated whether or not to take off her sunglasses. In the end she decided to leave them on. She straightened up her dress, checked herself in the rearview mirror and breathed in. Deeply.
She slowly walked to the door and was ready to ring the doorbell but Seth had beaten her to it. "Hey, Summer. Uh, I … I … um, you're probably wondering why I opened the door. Um, I wasn't you know, watching you get out of your car or anything like that – Hey, the weather inside is so much more refreshing, want to come in?" A smirk escaped from Summer's mouth and she followed Seth into the living room.
Summer sat down on the closest couch and placed her sunglasses on her head. She looked around the room wanting to avoid Seth.
Seth was uncomfortable with the silence. And he was more uncomfortable with the fact that Summer looked so fucking hot in her little yellow number and Seth wasn't allowed to touch her. "Look, Summer, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. And I wanted to tell you. Numerous times. But you have this aura about you. When I see you, I forget everything else and so whenever we were together it was like, 'Anna who?' And I have no excuses and all I can really offer you is my apologies. Which I guess isn't much. But maybe if it came with a free lunch? Eh, eh? You love free stuff, Summer, I know you do, don't deny it."
Summer tried so hard not to smile but she couldn't help it. Seth knew how to make her laugh. "Cohen, I don't even know what I'm really doing here. Except I do know that I wanted to hit you numerous times. But that wouldn't really solve anything."
"Laying low on the rage blackouts. Awesome."
"Don't get used to it." Summer was stopped short by the phone. Seth got up to answer it.
"Hey. Yeah, no. Right now? I can't, Anna. Later? I will wear that sweater you like so much to make up for it … Yeah … Seven it is. Bye." He hung up the phone and sat back on his chair.
"Was that Anna?" Summer asked.
"Yeah, she wanted to hang out but you know, you're here. So we're going to do it later and … moving on, away from Anna …"
Summer shook her head. "I don't mind if you talk about her. She is your girlfriend after all. I wasn't planning on staying long."
Seth looked down. "Oh, I … I guess I could find something else to do for the rest of the afternoon. A little Magic the Gathering, a little Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 , I think I'm good."
Seth stood up and walked towards Summer. He sat down next to her and said, "Or … you know, a little Summer Roberts." Seth smiled cheesily.
"Cohen, you're horrible! You have a girlfriend."
"Summer if you're going to be accusing anyone, it should be you! You do all sorts of things to me." Then he added, "Feel free to interpret that last bit any way you want."
"Then why are you dating her?"
Seth looked down on the floor. Considering how he wanted to explain the whole situation to Summer. Should he add little jokes? Or be serious? He looked from the floor to her beautiful figure. He wanted to cup her face in his hands and kiss her. Tell her about how when he was younger he used to play little scenarios in his head about how they would be together. The places they would skateboard to, the video games they would play…
"Well?" Summer commanded his attention again. "Why are you?"
"I … I don't know if you know what it feels like to not be with the person that you want to be with because you have always had every guy you wanted. All my life … well, okay, the past seven years, I've wanted you so badly, Summer. There were times when I dreamt about you and I swore your kisses in my dreams were real. But they never were. They were just dreams. You know, like this one dream I had were Zelda and Crash Bandicot did this game togther and the graphics were so …" Seth saw the confused look that had taken over Summer's face.
"Cohen, can the video game talk."
"Right. I guess what I am trying to say is that, I … I finally had a chance with you. And rather then take it, I opted not to. It's probably the stupidest decision I have ever made but this is all so new to me. For once I have a chance with Summer Roberts and that is just mind boggling. It's unfamiliar. I didn't know what to do. I could've had you, and I didn't want to take it because what if I wasn't good enough for you? I'm just Seth Cohen, the kid who everyone comes to for comic books and good sex." He laughed. "The last part was just for comedic purposes. I … yeah, nevermind."
Seth sat down with his finger on his lips. Wondering how Summer would react. He was ready for anything Summer might throw at him. Punches or that blue vase on the coffee table.
"Cohen, why didn't you just tell me all of this? Because of you, for the first time in my life I can't be with the guy I want." Summer looked at Seth in the eye and dared him to look away.