Julie's POV
I know most girls remember their senior prom like it had just happened a night ago. But do any remember it as vividly as I remember mine? I can still my corsage, her the sound of the zipper on my dress fastening, feel my dates arms around me. I remember it more now, standing here being face to face with this picture, and knowing Portman's eyes are burning a hole in the side of my head.
It took over a month to find the perfect dress for the occasion and even longer to track down the right shoes. I hate high heels, can hardly walk straight in them. But my date was so much taller then me, that I needed them. That's because I went with Dean Portman.
There had been a long list of girls all dying for him to ask them, I wasn't one of them. And though we'd played around a bit with the occasional game of slap and tickle, I never thought he'd ask me. But he did and I, Julie Elizabeth Gaffney was floored. It was sort of an honor when you think about it, out of all the girls at Eden Hall he picked me.
Connie helped me find my gown, I knew it had to be beautiful, but I was dead sent against pink. Luckily we found this really simple, but completely gorgeous dark blue sheath dress. It was silky and hung and clung in just the right places. It was elegant and I loved it. When I put it on with a pair of sapphire earrings Banks' mom lent me and had my hair done up in long blonde curls, I felt like a princess. Portman told me I looked like one too. What does he know?
I'd been so nervous the entire time I sat in my room waiting for him, with hand shaking and palms sweating. Yet once he got there and he were off to the ball room, everything changed. That night was magic, one of, if not the best night of my life. As we circled the dance floor, as he held me in his arms tightly against his chest, I fell in love. I felt it too, the heat between us, the spark. I know, because he told me.
We only had seven weeks together after that night. Seven weeks of wonder, seven weeks of passion, adventure and love. Then came graduation… That was the hardest day of my life. Portman decided not to go t college, he was going into the armed services instead. He'd be leaving for basic training the next day. I stood at that departure gate with him trying to be strong, no letting myself cry.
"I don't want you to go." I whispered. "I'll write you everyday."
"We agreed going into this not to fall in love Catlady, now I wish we'd stuck by that rule. Don't let your life go to waste, until I come back." With that he kissed me and boarded the plane.
I would've waited for him forever if he'd asked me too. He didn't, he wasn't that type. When he got his orders to go to Bosnia, I sat by the phone hoping he'd call for a couple of months. Eventually I had to choice but to leave the house however. I was taken off the waiting list at Harvard and accepted. It was off to Massachusetts. Luis had received a scholarship to U-Mass Boston, I guess they decided they needed from speed on their team that year. He was close enough to see everyday, so we hung out allot.
Then the unthinkable happened, Mrs. Portman called me, Dean was MIA, presumed KIA. Missing in action, possibly killed in action. That was impossible, he'd been on a peaceful mission. I lost it, my heart broke and I lost any handle on life I had. Luis was there for me, he helped me through it. He'd been a great friend. A year later we were dating and before I knew it (which was actually more then a year and a half later) he was asking me to marry him. I put off answering him for over two year, holding on to hope that Portman would come home. The night I agreed, was also the night I returned home to find a message on my answering machine, in a familiar voice. All it said was. 'I'm alive and I love you.'
We've finally set the date, well I finally set the date, for this coming fall. I have no idea how I'll ever make it down the aisle though. When I look out at the crowd and see Portman sitting in a pew with his new girlfriend Liz, I know it'll kill me. I'll know he's the one I should be saying my vows too, not Luis. He's my soul mate, not Luis. It's going to be so hard.
I've held the wedding off so long, but I know I can't delay it anymore. I don't want to hurt Luis, I'm luck to have him and I do love him. Just… just not the way I should. But I'm not going to let him down, he loves me, I could never leave him. I could never force the same pain I feel daily on someone else, the pain of knowing the one person you were put on this Earth to be with, isn't with you.
Dean's standing across the hole looking at me with the same love and admiration I feel for him and I wonder if still feels the heat, the spark, like at prom all those years ago. I don't know what he feels or thinks. I haven't spoken to him since I learned he was alive. I didn't call him back after he left that message on my machine, I was to scared. I still don't even know what happened to him in the almost three years he was missing, if he was lost, mistreated, confused. I'm still to afraid to speak to him, I know if I were to talk to him I'd fall to my knees and cry.
As my fiancé slips an arm around my waist, I realize that what Dean and I shared is lost. Pushed aside but not forgotten. All we have left is a few old photo's like the one in my hand and it tears my heart out. God I love him. As I reach into the box I pull out a small pink piece of paper and shiver. The detention slip Russ and Kenny had gotten when they were caught returning the liquid nitrogen tank freshmen year. I pass it to Ken and see a tear roll down his cheek. I feel worse having to be the one to hand it too him. His memories make mine look happy.
I know most girls remember their senior prom like it had just happened a night ago. But do any remember it as vividly as I remember mine? I can still my corsage, her the sound of the zipper on my dress fastening, feel my dates arms around me. I remember it more now, standing here being face to face with this picture, and knowing Portman's eyes are burning a hole in the side of my head.
It took over a month to find the perfect dress for the occasion and even longer to track down the right shoes. I hate high heels, can hardly walk straight in them. But my date was so much taller then me, that I needed them. That's because I went with Dean Portman.
There had been a long list of girls all dying for him to ask them, I wasn't one of them. And though we'd played around a bit with the occasional game of slap and tickle, I never thought he'd ask me. But he did and I, Julie Elizabeth Gaffney was floored. It was sort of an honor when you think about it, out of all the girls at Eden Hall he picked me.
Connie helped me find my gown, I knew it had to be beautiful, but I was dead sent against pink. Luckily we found this really simple, but completely gorgeous dark blue sheath dress. It was silky and hung and clung in just the right places. It was elegant and I loved it. When I put it on with a pair of sapphire earrings Banks' mom lent me and had my hair done up in long blonde curls, I felt like a princess. Portman told me I looked like one too. What does he know?
I'd been so nervous the entire time I sat in my room waiting for him, with hand shaking and palms sweating. Yet once he got there and he were off to the ball room, everything changed. That night was magic, one of, if not the best night of my life. As we circled the dance floor, as he held me in his arms tightly against his chest, I fell in love. I felt it too, the heat between us, the spark. I know, because he told me.
We only had seven weeks together after that night. Seven weeks of wonder, seven weeks of passion, adventure and love. Then came graduation… That was the hardest day of my life. Portman decided not to go t college, he was going into the armed services instead. He'd be leaving for basic training the next day. I stood at that departure gate with him trying to be strong, no letting myself cry.
"I don't want you to go." I whispered. "I'll write you everyday."
"We agreed going into this not to fall in love Catlady, now I wish we'd stuck by that rule. Don't let your life go to waste, until I come back." With that he kissed me and boarded the plane.
I would've waited for him forever if he'd asked me too. He didn't, he wasn't that type. When he got his orders to go to Bosnia, I sat by the phone hoping he'd call for a couple of months. Eventually I had to choice but to leave the house however. I was taken off the waiting list at Harvard and accepted. It was off to Massachusetts. Luis had received a scholarship to U-Mass Boston, I guess they decided they needed from speed on their team that year. He was close enough to see everyday, so we hung out allot.
Then the unthinkable happened, Mrs. Portman called me, Dean was MIA, presumed KIA. Missing in action, possibly killed in action. That was impossible, he'd been on a peaceful mission. I lost it, my heart broke and I lost any handle on life I had. Luis was there for me, he helped me through it. He'd been a great friend. A year later we were dating and before I knew it (which was actually more then a year and a half later) he was asking me to marry him. I put off answering him for over two year, holding on to hope that Portman would come home. The night I agreed, was also the night I returned home to find a message on my answering machine, in a familiar voice. All it said was. 'I'm alive and I love you.'
We've finally set the date, well I finally set the date, for this coming fall. I have no idea how I'll ever make it down the aisle though. When I look out at the crowd and see Portman sitting in a pew with his new girlfriend Liz, I know it'll kill me. I'll know he's the one I should be saying my vows too, not Luis. He's my soul mate, not Luis. It's going to be so hard.
I've held the wedding off so long, but I know I can't delay it anymore. I don't want to hurt Luis, I'm luck to have him and I do love him. Just… just not the way I should. But I'm not going to let him down, he loves me, I could never leave him. I could never force the same pain I feel daily on someone else, the pain of knowing the one person you were put on this Earth to be with, isn't with you.
Dean's standing across the hole looking at me with the same love and admiration I feel for him and I wonder if still feels the heat, the spark, like at prom all those years ago. I don't know what he feels or thinks. I haven't spoken to him since I learned he was alive. I didn't call him back after he left that message on my machine, I was to scared. I still don't even know what happened to him in the almost three years he was missing, if he was lost, mistreated, confused. I'm still to afraid to speak to him, I know if I were to talk to him I'd fall to my knees and cry.
As my fiancé slips an arm around my waist, I realize that what Dean and I shared is lost. Pushed aside but not forgotten. All we have left is a few old photo's like the one in my hand and it tears my heart out. God I love him. As I reach into the box I pull out a small pink piece of paper and shiver. The detention slip Russ and Kenny had gotten when they were caught returning the liquid nitrogen tank freshmen year. I pass it to Ken and see a tear roll down his cheek. I feel worse having to be the one to hand it too him. His memories make mine look happy.