Biting Ivy
By the Evil Overlord of Fallen Angels
Genre: Humour/Adventure
Summary: Isabella and Raphael join forces to search for Eloise. Also more SC2 characters headed this way! Excuse me if they're not like they were, but they are in an AU! SO THERE!
Disclaimer: (Bursts into the Namco building wielding expensive weaponry with women in leather bodysuits and men in spec ops outfits also holding big guns) all right! I WANT THE RIGHTS TO SOUL CALIBUR! (The president shakes the royal head) What? Really? I amn't allowed it? But I went to so much trouble! Oh socks! Gosh darn it now I have to go and blow up something.are you sure? (Another no) Oh well (Soldier pats the sobbing me on the back) No I'm okay, here have a wad of cash soldier minion of darkness (hands the man some cash) === The following people sent me reviews and will get the nice seats in my dungeons when I take over. In fact I think I'll turn them into members of my super race if they have a problem with the smaller cockroaches (see I'm not that evil) and water drip torture. Thanks so much.
i_want_jello()= Funny? Me? Thanks! I'll give you dungeon space with a song you like to play for all eternity! See I'm a nice villain! Now back to business! Curse you Superman!
Pash- chan= Hey I've sent you an e-mail reply and we'll talk
Master Gray Wolf= Yeah Ivy's a cool SC gal. I like her but she needs faster moves.so watch this as I toss in a few of my own! Ivy is one of the chracters I'm best with so I felt she deserved a fic
Lightning Angel= Tee hee Thanks. And just so you know because she's surrounded by guys Ivy might play mind games.but she'll need someone to lean on with the up and coming shocker! (well twist)
cryscilla= Oh you flatterer, you get a dungeon with a seaside view! Thank's a lot thats one of the most inspiring reviews I've gotten... no kidding...oh I'm going to have to work on my corniness, Thank's anyway
==== Andreas pushed open the door. 'Heya princess, breakfast.gahhhh'
'Mr captor, you're drooling on the silverware'
Eloise stood on the other side of the room. She wore the black and red corset and bodice with tight black silk trousers, a gold patterned red sash, heeled boots, a white blouse that exposed a lot of cleavage and black gloves. 'What too revealing? Too scant? Too Pirate?'
'Whoa! Shiver me timbers' Andreas mumbled. Then shifted uneasily and said: 'Trust me, everything in that closet is scant, revealing and pirate and call me Andreas, Mr Captor and Scum-sucking-son-of-a-vile-discusting- wart-covered-slimy-wench-from-the-pits-of-hell-and-a-person-who-should-be- castrated-and-quartered-then-burned-to-ash-and-then-that-ash-should-be-fed- to-the-wolves-then-the-wolves-should-be-burned.well its just to formal'
'You left out the part about your father.' murmured Eloise as she opened the top of the bowl. 'Mmmm! Carbonara!'
'Only because it was true.'
'GAK! You mean your father actually.'
'Yes' Andreas nodded.
'With a real live.'
'Yeah.twice'
'Ugh! That's disgusting'
'It doesn't look good on a job application' agreed Andreas. 'So I just figured, since I was so.not human.I might as well get a good job'
'Well I'm sure you're a good assassin'
'One of the best' he said proudly as Eloise tucked into the spaghetti and sauce. 'Though its hard.there aren't that many people to talk to around here, as the leader the others forget about me and then all that's left are the Berserkers, Lizardmen and Tax Collectors'
Eloise gave a shudder. 'So the only other humans are ignoring you?'
'Yeah' he nodded sitting down beside her. 'But you get over it after a while.well there is the boss but a Mirror is the ultimate distraction in that department'.
'At home in France I used to have to hang around a convent.'
Andreas smiled. 'So you're a good girl?'
Eloise smirked. 'Definitely not.but that's nothing new.'
She tossed her hair. Andreas rose and walked to the door. 'Thank you' he said and shut it. Eloise smiled serenely and tucked back into the food.
==London (denenenenena! Swirly screen!)===
'Ma'am, there's a man to see you' Cranston said. Ivy looked up from the books at the butler. 'Is it a suitor?'
'I expect so ma'am'
'Right, go up to the third storey and shove the safe out the window onto him' ivy said. 'Eh, is the man tall, muscular and possessing long blonde hair?' Raphael asked. 'Yes' Cranston nodded. 'Exactly right sir'
'That's Siegfried' explained Raphael. 'My servant must have informed him of my whereabouts'
Ivy looked at the Grandmother clock (No grandfather could be as feminine as this clock without a really good reason). 'My, it is late. Show the man in'
Moments later the tall broad shouldered man entered. His eyes regarded Raphael with a flit of camaraderie. But as usual Ivy captured the man's attention, or, more correctly, Ivy's cleavage captured the man's attention.
'This platinum blonde woman is Lady Isabella Valentine' explained Raphael. 'Oh, yes, she does have platinum hair' mumbled Siegfried.
Ivy rolled her eyes and looked at the large sword at his hip. 'A Bavarian Broadsword, the gilding on the handle and inscription on the blade points me to the German Royal family.'
Siegfried slowly nodded as he removed his cloak. Cranston took it and vanished off into the hall. Ivy gestured at one of the seats by the fire. Raphael stood, leaning on the mantelpiece as Ivy sat into the high-backed red chair.
'Eloise has been kidnapped?' Siegfried asked.
Ivy looked at Raphael. 'You updated him on the situation?'
'Actually the writer did, in the guise of my servant' Raphael said. 'But that's another story'
'No its not' Siegfried said.
'Silence' Ivy said as the argument brewed. 'Lady Eloise was taken hostage by the assassins because of her necklace. Luckily it has a protective charm on it that will prevent it from being removed by anyone but her. Also it will protect her. The Eye of Isis apparently has the ability to see the past, present and future. She'll be safe with it.unless.'
'Unless what?' asked Raphael.
'You said she was the cousin of Amy.'
'Sister, half-sister actually' sighed Raphael.
'Yes, well if Amy is related on the wrong side.or for the assassins, the right side, she will be able to open the clasp.'
'They won't find her, I hid her in the mansion, the paranoid maniac who lived their placed charms around it to prevent black magic to enter' Raphael said.
'Then she is safe and so is Eloise. I will perform a locator spell and we can set out to find Eloise as soon as possible. CRANSTON!'
The Butler materialized in the doorway. 'You bellowed milady?'
'Yes. Fetch me the map, the scrying crystal and the sugar bowl' added Ivy.
'You can locate Eloise with a map, a crystal and a sugar bowl?' Siegfried murmured in stunned disbelief.
'Nonsense.I only need the map and crystal.my tea is what needs the sugar.'
Cranston folded out the map on the table in the corner and handed the crystal on the silver string to Ivy. She dangled it over the map. A light sprang up in it and it snipped downwards onto the map of England.
'Well, well, well' Ivy murmured. 'The Tower of Maidens.it's a prison on an island that was closed down after a little incident with the fact there were no women for a multitude of miles'
'That picture in the book is still haunting me, silence please' Raphael grunted. 'What could a picture do?' Siegfried wondered aloud.
Ivy opened the book on a graphic illustration; he bit his lip and went bright red. 'I take the point' he grunted, shifting uneasily. Ivy brushed her shoulders and looked at the men. 'Luckily a friend is in town with a boat.'
She snapped her fingers and Valentine slithered up onto the desk unnoticed. 'Now, lets go and handle them.I have to find a nice kick-ass outfit that says "Yes darling they are real" but at the same time "Die pig-dog".and that is ready for the weather in London.no it's not going to be my purple leather number.or the pirate one.or the one with the black leather.well maybe the black leather.oh yeah that's a good one! Simple yet effective!'
Siegfried leaned over to Raphael. 'Is she talking to her sword?' he whispered. 'Apparently so' Raphael hissed in reply.
Ivy stepped out of the carriage still dressed in the long dark purple-pink cloak she had worn since changing. Raphael and Siegfried climbed out after her.
'Umm my shoulders are stuck' Siegfried said.
'Turn around a little and step out sideways' explained Ivy. Carefully Siegfried obliged and followed her into the same tavern he had been at earlier. Ivy glanced around at the tavern, where a scuffle had taken place. 'Right, never mind, they're gone. If we hurry we can catch the boat.'
She turned and breezed out of the tavern with Raphael and Siegfried in toe, so as not to lose her. Ivy led them to the docks and to the gangplank to a Japanese boat with large curved-triangular sails and beautiful architecture.
'Here we go!' she said climbing the gangplank. A burly man stepped out in front of her.
'No admittance wench!' he growled.
'Well since you said it so nicely.' she grinned. Her cloak covered his face; Valentine curled around his waist and spun him off the plank. At the last second she grabbed her cloak and fastened it over one shoulder. She wore tight beige trousers, a loose white blouse with plunging neckline, tall riding boots and a satchel over one shoulder.
'Well, that's my way on' she sighed. 'Come along boys, no dawdling.'
'She works fast' mumbled Siegfried. 'I am impressed.'
'So am I, seeing her fight is like watching the ballet.beautiful, with women in tight and revealing outfits.'
They chased after her. Apparently the splash had alerted everyone on the ship. The pirates were out and armed to the teeth. Raphael drew his blade while Siegfried braced himself and laid a hand on the hilt.
With a light laugh Ivy looked at the burly bladed men. 'I like that' she purred. The first man rushed forwards. Valentine snapped out repeatedly with a tilt of Ivy's hand, it struck the man in the nose and broke it as it curled itself across her shoulders. She twisted backwards and swung the whip. The coiled links slammed out and knocked the man off the boat.
'Ivy?'
Maxi stood in the doorway to the Captains Quarters. Ivy waved a hand as her sword retracted to its blade form. 'Hello Maxi!'
It didn't take long to explain the situation to Maxi. Unfortunately there was a problem, which irritated Ivy, and Ivy irritated was worse then Poison oak.or ivy...damn I walked right into that one. 'Well, you see, here's the trouble.I was playing a game of cards with some gentlemen' Maxi explained as he leaned on the wheel. 'And one thing led to another in the game and.'
'You cheated and got caught didn't you' Ivy said, statement rather then query.
'Yeah' he said letting his head drop to his chest. 'But only because I was.umm. distracted.'
'Ah, something with a pretty face and nice body no doubt' Ivy said with a sigh. 'As a matter of fact I need your help.'
'Ivy' Maxi groaned. 'I have to go! Those sailors will be here soon and I don't have the gold with me to pay them off.'
'I settle your debt if you take us' Ivy said. 'Plus Five percent interest at the local rate of exchange and inflation.plus I'll foot the tax'
Maxi shifted uneasily as his crew breathed out. He named the sum and Ivy simply yawned. 'Done, my treasure hunting antics take care of my bills. Plus you get a chance to fight a group of incredibly skilled assassins in just a short journey.' The pirates cheered.
'And if we return alive its beer for all!' Ivy added.
More cheers.
'And small cocktail sausages! On sticks!'
Louder cheers then before. Ivy knew the group well, the ship, Nirvana, was a good vessel from the seas around Asia and Maxi was a trustworthy captain whom she had met while being.not-a-nice-person. He had helped her escape in exchange for her knowledge on the Caves of Kolikoa.
The boat was already on the way to pull out, as it set sail Ivy showed Maxi the map of the Island. 'No one has been on the island for years. Up until several months ago, a fisherman went there. He was found in small pieces on the deck of his boat that was sent back to shore by a mysterious wind.'
'How mysterious?' Siegfried asked.
'Very mysterious' Ivy said. 'It made wind-chime noises'
'Ah' nodded Raphael. 'That kind of mysterious'
Maxi grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. 'What's the plan?' he asked.
'Sail in to the West of the island, large rocks will keep us hidden, it's a precarious route but just stopping in the right place makes it an excellent hiding place'.
'Great' Maxi said. Ivy pointed to the fortress on the map. 'Eloise will be held in here, we had better be prepared. I get the feeling she's in the topmost tower, at the topmost room'
'I pray we are not too late!' Raphael exclaimed.
With a shrug Ivy outlined the plan of attack to Maxi and his crew. Just then there came a thud from below. Maxi froze. 'I'll see to that' he yelped.
Ivy laughed. 'Who have you down there?'
'Sorry!' came a familiar voice.
'Kilik?' murmured Ivy. She strode to the balcony and looked down at the boy. He grinned and gave a small wave. 'What are you doing here?' she asked sharply.
'Umm.hanging out'
'He joined the crew' Maxi said, scratching the back of his head. 'But.you know.I kinda warned him to stay put when he saw you.'
'Oh Maxi! I am so over that Kill-everyone-who-was-near-Soul-Blade-or-Soul- Edge thing!' Ivy snorted. 'I was just being a little unhinged'
'A little?' Kilik murmured.
'Leave it' hissed Maxi as Kilik stood beside him.
'A little?'
'She's still got Valentine' reminded Maxi. Kilik locked his jaw.
===Maidens Island, an hour later====
'Your boss is.very.'
'Vain? Overbearing? Psychotic? Devious?' Andreas unlocked her shackled wrists and let her sit down in the corner. 'I see you've been reading' he said.
The "Big Boss" has summoned Eloise to the organ room, the organ had dominated the room's largest wall, and mirrors had taken over the rest. Boss was not someone to be taken lightly. After threats and sassy talk from Eloise the Boss had ordered some assassins to remove the necklace. They'd been shocked into a wall shattering a mirror and earning Eloise a backhanded strike across the face.
'The Boss eases up after a while.' Andreas muttered. He was wearing a green leather and metal chest plate with straps that lined across his back from the sides. A leather shirt covered the area around his shoulder blades but the rest of his back was bear, revealing a long faded scar on the tanned skin.
He felt her looking and turned around to face her. She frowned. 'What did that to you?'
'That's not the worst, just the only one a glamour can't hide.a present from the boss for insubordination.'
He wiped his hands off his baggy green trousers and turned to leave. 'Have a rest, the swelling should go down soon.'
Eloise touched the red mark on her cheek and nodded. The door shut and the sound of Andreas's footsteps faded away. She sighed and lay down on the bed, it was early in the mourning but she wouldn't be surprised if the Boss drank to blood of the living, she had seen Lizardmen and Berserkers.both scared her in a new way. They scared her because she knew they had at one point or another been human.
====Nirvana (dramatic birds-eye view to be inserted here)===
Dawn was breaking over the seas; they turned bluer as the light touched them. Nirvana sliced the waves as it sped towards the island. Ivy's platinum coloured hair fluttered in the breeze. 'We're nearly there' Maxi shouted. 'Anything we should watch out for?'
'Just the assassins' Ivy called. 'And the lizard men, and the Berserkers.'
'So the assassins employ them?' Siegfried asked.
'No, just their employer.'
'Then how do you know about them?' Kilik asked.
'I amn't sure' Ivy said with a frown.
Ivy held Valentine in one hand and a pistol in the other. Raphael and Siegfried came along behind her. Valentine pointed them through the paths of rock. Maxi and Kilik followed behind watching their backs. Eventually they reached a high ledge looking down at the fortress.
'The maps of the fortress are old. But I can tell you that they have Eloise in the highest room in the tallest tower with the biggest guards and the longest staircase'
'Why? Because of this sixth sense you have?' Raphael asked.
'No common sense, they always put the damsel in the highest room in the tallest tower with the biggest guards and the longest staircase.and the signpost'
Raphael looked at the wooden pole in the distance that read "Lady DeRoche's Prison" and gave detailed instructions.
'Kilik, Maxi, the signal' hissed Ivy. Maxi nodded and took out the matches. Kilik set up the fireworks and allowed the pirate captain to light the fuse. With a shower of sparks and a hiss the rocket shot into the air and exploded loudly.
'Here we go!' Maxi exclaimed as his sailors fired fireworks and cannons from the boat and rocks onto the fortress. In the confusion the heroes scampered down the slope towards the fortress.
Ivy brandished the pistol. 'Guards' she said. She vanished in a whisper of her beige trousers brushing together and reappeared to the others behind a small wall. She fired the pistol and an archway fell on the two guards standing near the tower.
'Let's go' she said. She waved the men on and hurried towards the tower. Raphael flicked out his sword and slit the throat of a guard who rounded the corner. The next lost his head to Siegfried's large blade.
'Show off' sniffed Raphael. Kilik vaulted at the door and kicked it down. The entrance, giving the heroes a chance, startled the Lizardmen and Berserker inside. 'Siegfried takes the berserker!' shouted Maxi.
'What! Why me?' Siegfried exclaimed.
'Ehh.because you're.taller' Maxi said. He leapt at a Lizardman. Ivy and Raphael darted up the stairs. 'Go!' he shouted at Ivy and Raphael.
'We'll get Eloise!' Ivy said. She looked Maxi in the eyes and saw something she'd never seen before in the tough pirates eyes. 'Is that mascara?'
'Ehh.okay yes.it makes my lashes look longer'
Ivy shook her head and thundered up the steps with Raphael watching her backside.
'Watch the steps Raphael' she reminded him.
'Wh-UUUH!' Raphael landed with a thud and groaned. Ivy kept going. She finally reached the Door. A man stood at it. His sallow skin and dark eyes made him all the more appealing. Ivy smiled at him.
'Stand back' she said. 'Or I'll kick you in the groin about seven times.'
'I'm wearing a jockstrap' he replied. 'Now, you'd be here to rescue Eloise?'
'Yes' Ivy said.
Suddenly Raphael charged the young man. 'I'm Andreas' the guy said as he sidestepped the stab and kicked Raphael in the stomach. 'Lead assassin and Eloise's captor.now lets get this over with'
Raphael swung at the young man but a metal gauntlet caught the blade and bounced it away. Andreas leapt about, displaying incredible agility and speed with his martial arts prowess. He ducked into the splits and caught a downward stab on his gauntlets. He pivoted on the ground and chopped Raphael's legs from under him knocking Monsieur Sorel to the ground.
Ivy opened the door and entered as the pair continued fighting.
'Lady Isabella' nodded Eloise rising from her seat. 'Can I interest you in some wine? Or is this one of those Chaotic-Confused-Captors-Rescues?'
'I'm afraid so' Ivy nodded. 'Shall we?'
'We think not' two voices said. Two assassins with Rapiers stood in the doorway, the pair was flaunting their skills when Eloise leapt at them and landed a foot on each mans chest. They crashed backwards. She picked up the Rapiers as Ivy whipped the pair into shape.no that was not a pun...they were cubes by the time she was finished.
Outside Andreas and Raphael were still fighting.
'Andreas I'm leaving' Eloise said.
'Okay, see you around.by the way the boss has your locket in the organ room. You'll want that back'
'Locket?' Ivy asked.
'My mothers' explained Eloise as she strode down the steps. 'I must fetch it back from the BOSS who rules the Fortress of vanities.' The organ music and thunder rang through the tower. 'It seems that Andreas's employer is practicing there.let's roll'
Ivy grimaced and turned back to Raphael. Andreas kicked him across the face several times and then in the chest, knocking Raphael against the railing. 'See you around Eloise' he called as he vaulted through a window and vanished downwards.
'He'll be fine' Eloise said. 'Interesting heritage'
Ivy looked at the dead Lizardmen at the bottom of the stairs; the Berserker was still on the end of Siegfrieds sword, dead but mounted like an ornament.
'We have to get my locket back' Eloise said simply. 'Follow me, the halls in the Fortress of vanities are long and winding.but well signposted.'
As they left Kilik leaned over to Maxi. 'Where did the thunder and Organ music come from?'
To Be Continued! (Well D'uh!)
Ah fair mortals thine reviews are expected. And for the romance well next chapter has it.well I always take about three chapters to get it seriously rolling. Ivy demonstrates what she learned in finishing school a few times. And you'll see how desperate for Ivy titles I'm getting since Poison Ivy will be the last one. Take note of the lack of reviews I have and be merciful. For mercy is twice bless'd .Oh! Bugger that's my stupid Merchant of Venice study returning to bite me!
Now.review my puppy dog eyes will make you want to review.but I'm the most unattractive person on the globe so the oversized laser gun will do a better job soooo .REVIEW!
By the Evil Overlord of Fallen Angels
Genre: Humour/Adventure
Summary: Isabella and Raphael join forces to search for Eloise. Also more SC2 characters headed this way! Excuse me if they're not like they were, but they are in an AU! SO THERE!
Disclaimer: (Bursts into the Namco building wielding expensive weaponry with women in leather bodysuits and men in spec ops outfits also holding big guns) all right! I WANT THE RIGHTS TO SOUL CALIBUR! (The president shakes the royal head) What? Really? I amn't allowed it? But I went to so much trouble! Oh socks! Gosh darn it now I have to go and blow up something.are you sure? (Another no) Oh well (Soldier pats the sobbing me on the back) No I'm okay, here have a wad of cash soldier minion of darkness (hands the man some cash) === The following people sent me reviews and will get the nice seats in my dungeons when I take over. In fact I think I'll turn them into members of my super race if they have a problem with the smaller cockroaches (see I'm not that evil) and water drip torture. Thanks so much.
i_want_jello()= Funny? Me? Thanks! I'll give you dungeon space with a song you like to play for all eternity! See I'm a nice villain! Now back to business! Curse you Superman!
Pash- chan= Hey I've sent you an e-mail reply and we'll talk
Master Gray Wolf= Yeah Ivy's a cool SC gal. I like her but she needs faster moves.so watch this as I toss in a few of my own! Ivy is one of the chracters I'm best with so I felt she deserved a fic
Lightning Angel= Tee hee Thanks. And just so you know because she's surrounded by guys Ivy might play mind games.but she'll need someone to lean on with the up and coming shocker! (well twist)
cryscilla= Oh you flatterer, you get a dungeon with a seaside view! Thank's a lot thats one of the most inspiring reviews I've gotten... no kidding...oh I'm going to have to work on my corniness, Thank's anyway
==== Andreas pushed open the door. 'Heya princess, breakfast.gahhhh'
'Mr captor, you're drooling on the silverware'
Eloise stood on the other side of the room. She wore the black and red corset and bodice with tight black silk trousers, a gold patterned red sash, heeled boots, a white blouse that exposed a lot of cleavage and black gloves. 'What too revealing? Too scant? Too Pirate?'
'Whoa! Shiver me timbers' Andreas mumbled. Then shifted uneasily and said: 'Trust me, everything in that closet is scant, revealing and pirate and call me Andreas, Mr Captor and Scum-sucking-son-of-a-vile-discusting- wart-covered-slimy-wench-from-the-pits-of-hell-and-a-person-who-should-be- castrated-and-quartered-then-burned-to-ash-and-then-that-ash-should-be-fed- to-the-wolves-then-the-wolves-should-be-burned.well its just to formal'
'You left out the part about your father.' murmured Eloise as she opened the top of the bowl. 'Mmmm! Carbonara!'
'Only because it was true.'
'GAK! You mean your father actually.'
'Yes' Andreas nodded.
'With a real live.'
'Yeah.twice'
'Ugh! That's disgusting'
'It doesn't look good on a job application' agreed Andreas. 'So I just figured, since I was so.not human.I might as well get a good job'
'Well I'm sure you're a good assassin'
'One of the best' he said proudly as Eloise tucked into the spaghetti and sauce. 'Though its hard.there aren't that many people to talk to around here, as the leader the others forget about me and then all that's left are the Berserkers, Lizardmen and Tax Collectors'
Eloise gave a shudder. 'So the only other humans are ignoring you?'
'Yeah' he nodded sitting down beside her. 'But you get over it after a while.well there is the boss but a Mirror is the ultimate distraction in that department'.
'At home in France I used to have to hang around a convent.'
Andreas smiled. 'So you're a good girl?'
Eloise smirked. 'Definitely not.but that's nothing new.'
She tossed her hair. Andreas rose and walked to the door. 'Thank you' he said and shut it. Eloise smiled serenely and tucked back into the food.
==London (denenenenena! Swirly screen!)===
'Ma'am, there's a man to see you' Cranston said. Ivy looked up from the books at the butler. 'Is it a suitor?'
'I expect so ma'am'
'Right, go up to the third storey and shove the safe out the window onto him' ivy said. 'Eh, is the man tall, muscular and possessing long blonde hair?' Raphael asked. 'Yes' Cranston nodded. 'Exactly right sir'
'That's Siegfried' explained Raphael. 'My servant must have informed him of my whereabouts'
Ivy looked at the Grandmother clock (No grandfather could be as feminine as this clock without a really good reason). 'My, it is late. Show the man in'
Moments later the tall broad shouldered man entered. His eyes regarded Raphael with a flit of camaraderie. But as usual Ivy captured the man's attention, or, more correctly, Ivy's cleavage captured the man's attention.
'This platinum blonde woman is Lady Isabella Valentine' explained Raphael. 'Oh, yes, she does have platinum hair' mumbled Siegfried.
Ivy rolled her eyes and looked at the large sword at his hip. 'A Bavarian Broadsword, the gilding on the handle and inscription on the blade points me to the German Royal family.'
Siegfried slowly nodded as he removed his cloak. Cranston took it and vanished off into the hall. Ivy gestured at one of the seats by the fire. Raphael stood, leaning on the mantelpiece as Ivy sat into the high-backed red chair.
'Eloise has been kidnapped?' Siegfried asked.
Ivy looked at Raphael. 'You updated him on the situation?'
'Actually the writer did, in the guise of my servant' Raphael said. 'But that's another story'
'No its not' Siegfried said.
'Silence' Ivy said as the argument brewed. 'Lady Eloise was taken hostage by the assassins because of her necklace. Luckily it has a protective charm on it that will prevent it from being removed by anyone but her. Also it will protect her. The Eye of Isis apparently has the ability to see the past, present and future. She'll be safe with it.unless.'
'Unless what?' asked Raphael.
'You said she was the cousin of Amy.'
'Sister, half-sister actually' sighed Raphael.
'Yes, well if Amy is related on the wrong side.or for the assassins, the right side, she will be able to open the clasp.'
'They won't find her, I hid her in the mansion, the paranoid maniac who lived their placed charms around it to prevent black magic to enter' Raphael said.
'Then she is safe and so is Eloise. I will perform a locator spell and we can set out to find Eloise as soon as possible. CRANSTON!'
The Butler materialized in the doorway. 'You bellowed milady?'
'Yes. Fetch me the map, the scrying crystal and the sugar bowl' added Ivy.
'You can locate Eloise with a map, a crystal and a sugar bowl?' Siegfried murmured in stunned disbelief.
'Nonsense.I only need the map and crystal.my tea is what needs the sugar.'
Cranston folded out the map on the table in the corner and handed the crystal on the silver string to Ivy. She dangled it over the map. A light sprang up in it and it snipped downwards onto the map of England.
'Well, well, well' Ivy murmured. 'The Tower of Maidens.it's a prison on an island that was closed down after a little incident with the fact there were no women for a multitude of miles'
'That picture in the book is still haunting me, silence please' Raphael grunted. 'What could a picture do?' Siegfried wondered aloud.
Ivy opened the book on a graphic illustration; he bit his lip and went bright red. 'I take the point' he grunted, shifting uneasily. Ivy brushed her shoulders and looked at the men. 'Luckily a friend is in town with a boat.'
She snapped her fingers and Valentine slithered up onto the desk unnoticed. 'Now, lets go and handle them.I have to find a nice kick-ass outfit that says "Yes darling they are real" but at the same time "Die pig-dog".and that is ready for the weather in London.no it's not going to be my purple leather number.or the pirate one.or the one with the black leather.well maybe the black leather.oh yeah that's a good one! Simple yet effective!'
Siegfried leaned over to Raphael. 'Is she talking to her sword?' he whispered. 'Apparently so' Raphael hissed in reply.
Ivy stepped out of the carriage still dressed in the long dark purple-pink cloak she had worn since changing. Raphael and Siegfried climbed out after her.
'Umm my shoulders are stuck' Siegfried said.
'Turn around a little and step out sideways' explained Ivy. Carefully Siegfried obliged and followed her into the same tavern he had been at earlier. Ivy glanced around at the tavern, where a scuffle had taken place. 'Right, never mind, they're gone. If we hurry we can catch the boat.'
She turned and breezed out of the tavern with Raphael and Siegfried in toe, so as not to lose her. Ivy led them to the docks and to the gangplank to a Japanese boat with large curved-triangular sails and beautiful architecture.
'Here we go!' she said climbing the gangplank. A burly man stepped out in front of her.
'No admittance wench!' he growled.
'Well since you said it so nicely.' she grinned. Her cloak covered his face; Valentine curled around his waist and spun him off the plank. At the last second she grabbed her cloak and fastened it over one shoulder. She wore tight beige trousers, a loose white blouse with plunging neckline, tall riding boots and a satchel over one shoulder.
'Well, that's my way on' she sighed. 'Come along boys, no dawdling.'
'She works fast' mumbled Siegfried. 'I am impressed.'
'So am I, seeing her fight is like watching the ballet.beautiful, with women in tight and revealing outfits.'
They chased after her. Apparently the splash had alerted everyone on the ship. The pirates were out and armed to the teeth. Raphael drew his blade while Siegfried braced himself and laid a hand on the hilt.
With a light laugh Ivy looked at the burly bladed men. 'I like that' she purred. The first man rushed forwards. Valentine snapped out repeatedly with a tilt of Ivy's hand, it struck the man in the nose and broke it as it curled itself across her shoulders. She twisted backwards and swung the whip. The coiled links slammed out and knocked the man off the boat.
'Ivy?'
Maxi stood in the doorway to the Captains Quarters. Ivy waved a hand as her sword retracted to its blade form. 'Hello Maxi!'
It didn't take long to explain the situation to Maxi. Unfortunately there was a problem, which irritated Ivy, and Ivy irritated was worse then Poison oak.or ivy...damn I walked right into that one. 'Well, you see, here's the trouble.I was playing a game of cards with some gentlemen' Maxi explained as he leaned on the wheel. 'And one thing led to another in the game and.'
'You cheated and got caught didn't you' Ivy said, statement rather then query.
'Yeah' he said letting his head drop to his chest. 'But only because I was.umm. distracted.'
'Ah, something with a pretty face and nice body no doubt' Ivy said with a sigh. 'As a matter of fact I need your help.'
'Ivy' Maxi groaned. 'I have to go! Those sailors will be here soon and I don't have the gold with me to pay them off.'
'I settle your debt if you take us' Ivy said. 'Plus Five percent interest at the local rate of exchange and inflation.plus I'll foot the tax'
Maxi shifted uneasily as his crew breathed out. He named the sum and Ivy simply yawned. 'Done, my treasure hunting antics take care of my bills. Plus you get a chance to fight a group of incredibly skilled assassins in just a short journey.' The pirates cheered.
'And if we return alive its beer for all!' Ivy added.
More cheers.
'And small cocktail sausages! On sticks!'
Louder cheers then before. Ivy knew the group well, the ship, Nirvana, was a good vessel from the seas around Asia and Maxi was a trustworthy captain whom she had met while being.not-a-nice-person. He had helped her escape in exchange for her knowledge on the Caves of Kolikoa.
The boat was already on the way to pull out, as it set sail Ivy showed Maxi the map of the Island. 'No one has been on the island for years. Up until several months ago, a fisherman went there. He was found in small pieces on the deck of his boat that was sent back to shore by a mysterious wind.'
'How mysterious?' Siegfried asked.
'Very mysterious' Ivy said. 'It made wind-chime noises'
'Ah' nodded Raphael. 'That kind of mysterious'
Maxi grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. 'What's the plan?' he asked.
'Sail in to the West of the island, large rocks will keep us hidden, it's a precarious route but just stopping in the right place makes it an excellent hiding place'.
'Great' Maxi said. Ivy pointed to the fortress on the map. 'Eloise will be held in here, we had better be prepared. I get the feeling she's in the topmost tower, at the topmost room'
'I pray we are not too late!' Raphael exclaimed.
With a shrug Ivy outlined the plan of attack to Maxi and his crew. Just then there came a thud from below. Maxi froze. 'I'll see to that' he yelped.
Ivy laughed. 'Who have you down there?'
'Sorry!' came a familiar voice.
'Kilik?' murmured Ivy. She strode to the balcony and looked down at the boy. He grinned and gave a small wave. 'What are you doing here?' she asked sharply.
'Umm.hanging out'
'He joined the crew' Maxi said, scratching the back of his head. 'But.you know.I kinda warned him to stay put when he saw you.'
'Oh Maxi! I am so over that Kill-everyone-who-was-near-Soul-Blade-or-Soul- Edge thing!' Ivy snorted. 'I was just being a little unhinged'
'A little?' Kilik murmured.
'Leave it' hissed Maxi as Kilik stood beside him.
'A little?'
'She's still got Valentine' reminded Maxi. Kilik locked his jaw.
===Maidens Island, an hour later====
'Your boss is.very.'
'Vain? Overbearing? Psychotic? Devious?' Andreas unlocked her shackled wrists and let her sit down in the corner. 'I see you've been reading' he said.
The "Big Boss" has summoned Eloise to the organ room, the organ had dominated the room's largest wall, and mirrors had taken over the rest. Boss was not someone to be taken lightly. After threats and sassy talk from Eloise the Boss had ordered some assassins to remove the necklace. They'd been shocked into a wall shattering a mirror and earning Eloise a backhanded strike across the face.
'The Boss eases up after a while.' Andreas muttered. He was wearing a green leather and metal chest plate with straps that lined across his back from the sides. A leather shirt covered the area around his shoulder blades but the rest of his back was bear, revealing a long faded scar on the tanned skin.
He felt her looking and turned around to face her. She frowned. 'What did that to you?'
'That's not the worst, just the only one a glamour can't hide.a present from the boss for insubordination.'
He wiped his hands off his baggy green trousers and turned to leave. 'Have a rest, the swelling should go down soon.'
Eloise touched the red mark on her cheek and nodded. The door shut and the sound of Andreas's footsteps faded away. She sighed and lay down on the bed, it was early in the mourning but she wouldn't be surprised if the Boss drank to blood of the living, she had seen Lizardmen and Berserkers.both scared her in a new way. They scared her because she knew they had at one point or another been human.
====Nirvana (dramatic birds-eye view to be inserted here)===
Dawn was breaking over the seas; they turned bluer as the light touched them. Nirvana sliced the waves as it sped towards the island. Ivy's platinum coloured hair fluttered in the breeze. 'We're nearly there' Maxi shouted. 'Anything we should watch out for?'
'Just the assassins' Ivy called. 'And the lizard men, and the Berserkers.'
'So the assassins employ them?' Siegfried asked.
'No, just their employer.'
'Then how do you know about them?' Kilik asked.
'I amn't sure' Ivy said with a frown.
Ivy held Valentine in one hand and a pistol in the other. Raphael and Siegfried came along behind her. Valentine pointed them through the paths of rock. Maxi and Kilik followed behind watching their backs. Eventually they reached a high ledge looking down at the fortress.
'The maps of the fortress are old. But I can tell you that they have Eloise in the highest room in the tallest tower with the biggest guards and the longest staircase'
'Why? Because of this sixth sense you have?' Raphael asked.
'No common sense, they always put the damsel in the highest room in the tallest tower with the biggest guards and the longest staircase.and the signpost'
Raphael looked at the wooden pole in the distance that read "Lady DeRoche's Prison" and gave detailed instructions.
'Kilik, Maxi, the signal' hissed Ivy. Maxi nodded and took out the matches. Kilik set up the fireworks and allowed the pirate captain to light the fuse. With a shower of sparks and a hiss the rocket shot into the air and exploded loudly.
'Here we go!' Maxi exclaimed as his sailors fired fireworks and cannons from the boat and rocks onto the fortress. In the confusion the heroes scampered down the slope towards the fortress.
Ivy brandished the pistol. 'Guards' she said. She vanished in a whisper of her beige trousers brushing together and reappeared to the others behind a small wall. She fired the pistol and an archway fell on the two guards standing near the tower.
'Let's go' she said. She waved the men on and hurried towards the tower. Raphael flicked out his sword and slit the throat of a guard who rounded the corner. The next lost his head to Siegfried's large blade.
'Show off' sniffed Raphael. Kilik vaulted at the door and kicked it down. The entrance, giving the heroes a chance, startled the Lizardmen and Berserker inside. 'Siegfried takes the berserker!' shouted Maxi.
'What! Why me?' Siegfried exclaimed.
'Ehh.because you're.taller' Maxi said. He leapt at a Lizardman. Ivy and Raphael darted up the stairs. 'Go!' he shouted at Ivy and Raphael.
'We'll get Eloise!' Ivy said. She looked Maxi in the eyes and saw something she'd never seen before in the tough pirates eyes. 'Is that mascara?'
'Ehh.okay yes.it makes my lashes look longer'
Ivy shook her head and thundered up the steps with Raphael watching her backside.
'Watch the steps Raphael' she reminded him.
'Wh-UUUH!' Raphael landed with a thud and groaned. Ivy kept going. She finally reached the Door. A man stood at it. His sallow skin and dark eyes made him all the more appealing. Ivy smiled at him.
'Stand back' she said. 'Or I'll kick you in the groin about seven times.'
'I'm wearing a jockstrap' he replied. 'Now, you'd be here to rescue Eloise?'
'Yes' Ivy said.
Suddenly Raphael charged the young man. 'I'm Andreas' the guy said as he sidestepped the stab and kicked Raphael in the stomach. 'Lead assassin and Eloise's captor.now lets get this over with'
Raphael swung at the young man but a metal gauntlet caught the blade and bounced it away. Andreas leapt about, displaying incredible agility and speed with his martial arts prowess. He ducked into the splits and caught a downward stab on his gauntlets. He pivoted on the ground and chopped Raphael's legs from under him knocking Monsieur Sorel to the ground.
Ivy opened the door and entered as the pair continued fighting.
'Lady Isabella' nodded Eloise rising from her seat. 'Can I interest you in some wine? Or is this one of those Chaotic-Confused-Captors-Rescues?'
'I'm afraid so' Ivy nodded. 'Shall we?'
'We think not' two voices said. Two assassins with Rapiers stood in the doorway, the pair was flaunting their skills when Eloise leapt at them and landed a foot on each mans chest. They crashed backwards. She picked up the Rapiers as Ivy whipped the pair into shape.no that was not a pun...they were cubes by the time she was finished.
Outside Andreas and Raphael were still fighting.
'Andreas I'm leaving' Eloise said.
'Okay, see you around.by the way the boss has your locket in the organ room. You'll want that back'
'Locket?' Ivy asked.
'My mothers' explained Eloise as she strode down the steps. 'I must fetch it back from the BOSS who rules the Fortress of vanities.' The organ music and thunder rang through the tower. 'It seems that Andreas's employer is practicing there.let's roll'
Ivy grimaced and turned back to Raphael. Andreas kicked him across the face several times and then in the chest, knocking Raphael against the railing. 'See you around Eloise' he called as he vaulted through a window and vanished downwards.
'He'll be fine' Eloise said. 'Interesting heritage'
Ivy looked at the dead Lizardmen at the bottom of the stairs; the Berserker was still on the end of Siegfrieds sword, dead but mounted like an ornament.
'We have to get my locket back' Eloise said simply. 'Follow me, the halls in the Fortress of vanities are long and winding.but well signposted.'
As they left Kilik leaned over to Maxi. 'Where did the thunder and Organ music come from?'
To Be Continued! (Well D'uh!)
Ah fair mortals thine reviews are expected. And for the romance well next chapter has it.well I always take about three chapters to get it seriously rolling. Ivy demonstrates what she learned in finishing school a few times. And you'll see how desperate for Ivy titles I'm getting since Poison Ivy will be the last one. Take note of the lack of reviews I have and be merciful. For mercy is twice bless'd .Oh! Bugger that's my stupid Merchant of Venice study returning to bite me!
Now.review my puppy dog eyes will make you want to review.but I'm the most unattractive person on the globe so the oversized laser gun will do a better job soooo .REVIEW!