A TWIST OF FATE
Chapter SevenJean walked into the garden. She smiled remembering all the times she had spent tending to the plants and flowers.
She walked up to the red rose bush, her favorite plant in the backyard. She had planted it so many years ago and had tended to it ever since. She had left Ororo in charge of it before she left. She could tell that Ororo was taking quite good care of it.
She ran her fingers over the silky red petals as she shut her eyes, remembering one of the better times she had out here.
Flashback
Jean finished watering the rose bush, and picked the biggest and best formed rose off the stem connecting it to the branches. She brought it to her nose and smelled its scented fragrance as the wind of the spring day ruffled her hair.
She felt strong arms wrap around her waist and someone pull her close.
Jean smiled as she brought the rose down, "Scott."
Scott set his chin against her right shoulder brushing his cheek against hers. "Who else would it be?"
She let her head fall back against his chest. "Isn't it beautiful out here among all the plants?"
"Yeah…I dunno there's something about it that seems so…intimate. Don't you think?" He answered.
Jean smirked as she turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Yeah I do. I never knew you thought of things that way."
"Of course I do. Contrary to popular belief I'm a pretty romantic guy." Scott slipped the rose out of Jean's hand and placed it through her hair.
"You know, there are times when I look at you and wonder how I can be so fortunate." He brushed his hand across Jean's cheek and through her hair.
She grasped his hand and laced her fingers through his.
"You shouldn't think like it that way, I'm the one who's fortunate…for having you."
Scott rested his forehead against hers leaving their lips mere inches apart.
His voice became lower, almost a whisper, and more intimate. "I guess that makes us both lucky…for having each other."
"Yeah it does. I can't help but think that we were meant to be ever since the beginning, that it was our destiny to be together. I mean I can't remember a time I didn't love you." She replied.
"You're right, Jean, we were meant to be. Always and forever."
"Everything feels so right now, so…perfect. I just, I never want it to end." She sighed almost breathlessly.
She felt his hold tighten and she could sense his nervousness. "Actually, ah, Jean there's something I want to tell you." He said stepping away and breaking their embrace.
She frowned becoming anxious at his apparent nervousness. He motioned for her to sit on the concrete garden bunch.
She took a seat, watching him with her eyes the whole while.
"What is it?" She finally asked.
Scott bent down on his knees in front of Jean and grasped her hands in his. "I love you."
She nodded, her eyes still searching. "I know." She answered honestly, becoming worried at his odd behavior.
Behind his glasses, his eyes looked deeply into hers. "I can't live without you Jean, you mean everything to me, do you know that?"
She nodded again. "Yes Scott, I know. What's the matter, Sweetheart? Why are you telling me all this?"
"What you said about never wanting this to end, did you mean it?" He asked.
She nodded and held a hand to his face, brushing through his hair. "Of course I did."
"I mean it too, Jean. I want this to last forever."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a velvet case. She gasped as he opened the lid to reveal a sparkling diamond
"Marry me, Jean?"
Her hands ran to her face as her eyes began to tear, she forced a broad smile. "Scott…you know I will. You know I will. I want to be your wife. I want nothing more in the world than to be married to you. Yes, Yes!" She exclaimed through her tears.
Her hands trembled as he let go of his hold and shakily pulled the diamond from it's case. He stared up at her briefly and she shared with him a happy smile.
She held out her hand to him and he gently pressed the ring onto her fourth finger. He followed it up by planting a kiss on her hand.
"I love you…I'll love you forever. That's my promise to you." He was crying now and she nodded as she brushed a tear away from his face.
"I love you too, I love you too." She bent down to kiss him softly on the lips.
He pulled up as they embraced in a tight hug. They pulled apart and both were crying now.
"I love you Scott. I love you. I never want this to end."
"It won't, Jean. I want to be with you…I want it to feel this way forever."
"So do I. So much more than you'll ever know."
He wiped away tears from her eyes. "I'll love you Jean. I'll love you for the rest of my life. I'll make you happy, I promise."
"I am happy, Scott." She reassured him. " I'm happy with you."
He caressed her cheek and gazed into her eyes, feeling a sort of contentment that he knew he couldn't feel with anyone else.
"I love you, Mrs. Summers." He replied.
She smiled. "Mrs. Grey-Summers." She corrected.
He shrugged. "If that's what you want then…I Love You Mrs. Grey-Summers." He repeated.
He held his hands around Jean's waist as they shared a deeply passionate kiss.
Jean opened her eyes. All this was stirring up so many emotions within her. That had to have been the happiest moment of her life. She had loved him so much. She would give anything to feel that way again…it made her wonder why they ever let it go.
She didn't know why she was remembering so much…. why Scott was so frequently on her mind. It was quite possible that she was just feeling guilty of leaving things the way she had between them. Maybe she just yearned for closure…or maybe… for Scott.
She shook her head. Either way that didn't matter now, Scott wasn't what had brought her out here in the first place, well maybe somewhat…but not entirely.
She walked to the edge of the garden. She kneeled down next to a stone marker planted firmly into the ground. It was surrounded by very small rose bushes mixed among baby breaths.
She read the inscription carved into the small rectangle stone.
Rachel Summers
May She Rest in the Arms of the Angels
August 04 2003
Jean brushed back a strand of hair as silent tears crept down her face.
"It's been a while huh?" She said quietly placing the rose down on the ground in front of the gravestone.
She traced her fingers along the lines of the engraved letters. "I'm sorry. I really am." She bit her lower lip and paused trying to find the right words to say.
"I only saw you once, and even than, you were so beautiful, so tiny."
She sighed and leaned her head back. She could still remember that day;
The day when Hank came to them and told them that their daughter had taken a turn for the worst and that he felt they should wait with her while she died.
For three days they hadn't been able to see her. Hank hadn't wanted them too. Xavier had agreed, upon the grounds that they wouldn't be able to bear it emotionally. Jean had disagreed strongly, thinking the only thing she wouldn't be able to bear would be to not even see her daughter at all.
Than during the middle of the night, they had roused from their sleep and for the first time in Seventy-Two Hours, they got to lay eyes on their daughter. Their calmly sleeping daughter.
Hank had placed her in an incubator, and had aided her development with breathing tubes. Larger tubes lined the back of the incubator, connected to round portals that led inside the clear box. The tubes than connected to complicated machinery in the lab Jean hadn't even seen before. She'd assumed that a couple of the tubes, some of which led to connect to smaller tubes taped to her daughter's body, Hank had been using to try and drain the little baby of the virus, like he had Jean. She didn't want to know what the rest were for, and to this day she never asked Hank what he had used them for that night.
That night, after they had slipped into hospital scrubs and face masks for safety purposes, the baby was infected with the virus after all, they were able to see her.
She was dying, and Hank had assumed that it would be soon. He also knew that sometimes a Father's touch, a Mother's touch, would help the baby to live a little longer. He had heard circumstances in where a critically ill baby would take a turn for the better and eventually would recover. It was astonishing to say the least, by that point the baby is technically labeled to die. In situations where that had happened, the baby's parents had been with it the entire time, holding their hands, talking to them, singing to them, from all Hank could figure out, the Parents love had helped the babies to recover.
He knew little Rachel was beyond recovery, but if Scott and Jean saw their daughter, maybe it would help her to hold on a little longer. He had even allowed them to hold her tiny hands, with gloves on of course.
She wasn't the cutest of babies, very small and wrinkly due to her being premature, and her body was covered with small tubes. But she was beautiful to them, the most beautiful baby they had ever seen. She had Scott's facial features and a small patch of hair, red hair. She had Jean's hair. They wondered than, if she would have her father's looks and her mother's brains, or maybe her mother's looks and her father's brains. To this day, she still wondered for the answer.
Being only six months old, Hank was surprised that their daughter had stayed alive this long. It was to be sure, that everyone had expected her die, quickly and swiftly. But she hadn't. She had survived for three days through. Upon Hank's mention that he honestly hadn't expected her to still be living, Scott had said, "Well of course she is. She's a Summers. We're fighters."
She was their little fighter, struggling to stay alive. Well she was Scott's little fighter. She was Jean's dancer. Their Tiny Dancer, that's what she was.
That night, as Jean held her hand, she sang to her;
"But oh how it feels so real… Lying here with no one near… Only you and you can hear me… When I say softly, slowly,
"Hold me closer tiny dancer… Count the headlights on the highway… Lay me down in sheets of linen you had a busy day today.
Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band… Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man…
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand… And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand…"
Her tiny dancer was struggling to breathe the entire time, Hank also confirmed that she was in a lot of pain. He said that he assumed she was too young to feel anything, but she did feel the pain. That that's all she could feel. He reassured them that he was running huge amounts of morphine through her system by the seconds, so that she wouldn't have to feel it as bad.
Shortly after that, With Scott and Jean holding her hands, she died. She just stopped struggling to breathe.
It was painful to watch her die, they could literally feel the life go out of her. But Jean had taken comfort in knowing that she wouldn't have to struggle to live anymore, that she wouldn't have to feel pain anymore.
Their daughter had put up a good fight, Three days. Roughly Seventy-Two hours, that's how long she had lived. That's how long she had fought.
Jean sighed and brushed away the tears from her eyes as she stared back at the headstone, talking to her daughter.
"I couldn't believe that I could ever love someone so soon. I was with you for only three hours, but I needed only to look at you for an instant and I knew I loved you. You were a part of me, an extension of myself and I can never imagine loving something as much as I loved you. But I guess with as much as I loved you, I didn't love you enough…"
She cried than, as she thought about it. "If I had loved you more…Maybe than you'd still be here."
"I'm sorry for that. I'm so very sorry." She said suppressing her tears.
She crossed her legs behind her and sat on her knees, becoming more comfortable in her position as she continued.
"I don't know what else to say. I knew you only for a moment. I think about what you'd be like all the time. If I could've only seen you for one more minute, If I could hold you and tell you how much I love you, it would've been worth it…It all would have been worth it. It would've have been worth everything."
She sighed as she thought about all the pain and heartache that had come in the weeks following.
"But I did know you, if only for an instant. You were my Tiny Dancer and I wouldn't trade that for the world."
Sheleaned back against her legs and whipped her head up to the sky, lost in her own sad thoughts. She didn't even stir when she heard footprints wading through the crisp green grass.
The footsteps stopped and she remained silent she knew who it was.
"I know what you're thinking." Scott said firm but quiet.
Jean didn't open her eyes she remained silent allowing him to continue.
"You're thinking that it's not fair…that this whole thing wasn't fair."
Jean dipped down her head and wiped off her tears. "Yeah…" She said her voice quiet and shaky.
She wiped her palm across her lips. She rolled her eyes upward trying to mask the tears forming beneath.
"You know Scott…It shouldn't have turned out this way. You're not supposed to watch as your child is buried in the ground. It's not right, we shouldn't have had to bury our baby."
"I know. No parent should have to bury their child. It's against the laws of nature." He agreed.
"Yeah it's not fair. But Scott-" She bit her lip as she decided against what she was going to say.
Scott walked slowly towards her, anticipating what she was going to say.
"Look…I know you blame me. You have every right to. But I want you to know that I would give my life to bring her back. I would."
"I know you would. But Scott I can't help but think that--" Again she couldn't bring herself to say it to him.
"Look, I know what you want to say. You want to say it's all my fault." He started taking advantage of her silence.
"You want to say that it's my fault because if I had gotten there sooner, if I had found you sooner, than maybe she would have had a chance. You want to think, what if I had stayed with you, what if I had not acted impulsively, what if I had taken greater precautions…than maybe, maybe… she'd still be alive and than all this could have been avoided. You keep thinking, what If it had never happened, what then?"
His voice grew stronger, sterner, as he continued. "Jean…we can't afford to play What if! We have to look at what is! And what is, is you had the better chance of living. And because of that, because of that choice…
Our lives have been changed forever and one life is gone. But-But we are the lucky ones…our lives may be changed forever but you're still alive…we're still here."
"Yeah…but that doesn't matter, Scott! It's not fair! It should've been me! Not her." Jean tried to mask her tears but they rolled down her face anyway.
"Damn it! Why her? Answer me that…Why her? What did she do that was so deserving? She was innocent Scott…She was completely innocent!"
"I don't know, Jean. I can't tell you why. Don't you think if I could, I would? Wouldn't that be so much easier, wouldn't that make things simpler, less complicated? If we knew why, than maybe we'd be free of this pain. But no one can answer that question for us. No One. We have to believe that it was just her time."
Jean was too wrapped up in her thoughts to hear what Scott was saying.
"But it could've been anyone but her…why did it have to be our baby? Why did we have to suffer? Why did she have to die?"
"Maybe it's just what you said, Jean…Because It could've been anyone. Maybe that's why it was her…to help us."
"With what?" Jean snapped, she wasn't understanding.
"I dunno, Jean, I dunno. Maybe there was something about us, something deep, that we couldn't see. Maybe her death was a way of bringing that to the surface, so that we could see it, and we could work through it and move past it…and become stronger because of it…" Scott paused. "…Maybe it was the only way to make us see."
Jean rolled her eyes upward and chuckled slightly at the irony of it all.
"Yeah, we saw it alright." She answered sarcastically. "After her death, we fought, we argued, our marriage crumbled, I moved to the city because we both felt that we needed some space apart from each other. Now here I am at the institute about to marry another man…how exactly has this helped us at all? It just seemed to have drifted us apart from each other. Can't you see it! It tore us apart, Scott!"
"It seems that way, yeah. But maybe it isn't how we think it is."
Jean shook her head, totally confused at Scott's lack of reasoning.
"Okay, so you tell me how it is then." She said doubtfully.
"Look at it this way, Jean…you're right, We did drift apart after her death, there's no denying that. But these years that we've been apart, we've had a lot of time to think about what happened to us. I think maybe somehow this has made us realize what we couldn't before. This shared experience, shared pain, has brought us together in a way we never could have been, had we never experienced it at all. Maybe it was the only way to make us see it, to make us get it, to make us stronger together. Our relationship now can be better than ever, because we see that now. We know what it's like, maybe that's all we needed to see and this is what it took to make us know that."
She shook her head, disagreeing with him. "No, I think you're wrong. What I went through…my personal pain… I couldn't do that again. I want through hell watching our daughter die a slow and painful death…and the repercussions her death brought…I felt nothing but pain and anguish for the longest time. And then I met Warren. I think…I think that maybe this time I'm right."
"You can't say that Jean! You don't honestly believe that this was a way to bring you to Warren. You can't tell me you believe that."
Jean sprang up from the ground. "Why? Look at us! Look at what this did to us! You can't tell me that you still hold out hope?"
"I do! I believe in us, Jean! I believe in us."
"Well I've stopped believing!"
"Why are you so determined to give up on us!" Scott quizzed not understanding.
"Because…whatever we had between us… it died with her!" She answered forcefully.
"What?" He gasped out, punctuating the word firmly.
"We, whatever we were, died when she did! And we can't bring that back. Not ever! It went into this grave with her!" She yelled pointing to the headstone by her feet.
"You don't believe that!" Scott was near tears, he hadn't expected her to deny this, to deny them.
She shook her head and took a moment to calm down. She ran a hand across her forehead and sighed wearily.
"Right now…I don't know what I believe." She replied, her tone lowered.
Scott sighed and lowered his voice, though it remained tense and firm. "Look Jean, I'm not blaming you for being angry-"
"-Thank you, Thank you, that helps." She interrupted him dryly, not really considering his words.
Scott ignored her comment and continued. "-Look, you have every right to be angry, so do I. I mean I could hate myself, and rage at the world, but it's not going to bring her back."
He stepped forward but stopped as she stepped back, and he realized she was keeping her distance from him.
"I don't hate you Scott, I hate what you did, but I don't hate you." She tried to reassure him, but he couldn't help but notice the cool tone in which she said it.
"But Jean, whether you hate me or not, It isn't going to bring her back. You have to let it go."
"I don't think I can." She answered honestly.
"Why can't you just accept the fact that Rachel is dead?" He asked. "She's not coming back! Why can't you just accept that?" He asked vehemently.
"I can't!" She clenched her teeth as she yelled at him.
"Jean, by keeping her alive, in your heart, in your mind, it's preventing you from moving on!" He yelled trying to reason with her.
"I have moved on!" She tried to convince him.
"You keep saying that! You keep saying that and I know it's because you're trying to convince yourself! But you haven't. What you're doing to yourself… if you're keeping her alive… then you still haven't let go!" He assessed.
"You don't understand!" She yelled back at him.
His body stiffened with the force of his words. "Then help me understand!"
"She has too!" Jean shouted. She cast her eyes to the ground as she lowered her voice and continued.
"What you don't understand is that she has to stay alive for me. I can't let go! As long as she's alive in my heart, in my mind, than the pain of losing her is easier to bare. I don't want to be the kind of person who spends every night and day in her room crying, who wakes up every morning wandering what she has left to live for. I don't want that to be me. And as long as our daughter is alive in me… I'm not that person." She finished.
"But you can't keep hanging on to Rachel. Everything you said, it's all normal, Jean, it's all normal. Look you're in pain and you're mourning, it's usual for you to feel that way. But eventually you're gonna have to let it go. You will have to. It isn't healthy to keep living like this."
"What do you suggest I do, Scott? I can't help it! This is how I feel, I can't changethat."
"I'm not asking you too! I'm telling you, for your own sanity, that you need help. If you can't get beyond this, than it'll destroy you. It'll kill you off, piece by piece. Trust me, I've been there. It's devastating, I know, and it's so damn hard. But right now this is a reality that you haven't been able to come to grips with. And maybe by holding onto our baby's death and by not letting go, it's your minds way of cushioning you from a reality you're not ready or willing to accept."
Jean shook her head, completely understanding but trying to fight away all reason. "What are you saying Scott?"
"Look all I'm saying is that what happened, happened, we can't change that. Sure maybe it wasn't meant to happen, we make the choices in our life, therefore we chose for it to happen, but however we feel about it, it did happen. She is dead. And we gotta think to ourselves, we gotta think that maybe Rachel died because she was meant to die. No one could have prevented it." He said boldly.
"She was Innocent, Scott! She was completely Innocent!" Jean repeated as she shouted through clenched teeth.
"But it was never meant for her to live! Never!" Scott yelled back exasperated.
Jean struggled to find the words to say as the realization that Scott was right, hit her like a hard blow to the chest. She shook her head, trying to dismiss his words, wanting to not believe him.
"No you're wrong!" She tried to sound convincing, but they both knew how deceiving her words were. They both knew that he wasn't wrong.
"I'm not! Jean...you know it! You know I'm not."
Jean stared at Scott her eyes glistening.
"You know I'm right." He said sternly. He walked slowly towards her, this time she held her ground but did not move.
There was a moment of silence as Scott waited to hear Jean's response. Tears streamed down her face as she came to grips with the reality of the situation.
"Why her? Scott? Why our baby? It shouldn't have happened like this! Why did it have to be us? She was completely Innocent!" She yelled through tears. Her cries were that of anger, of sadness, and of just plan distress.
Scott shook his head in reply. "I don't know, Jean. We'll never really know. You know that. But we gotta believe that she was never meant to live a full life, that she was born to help us. We gotta believe that there was nothing we could've done. "
Jean tried to control herself as she shook her head trying desperately to deny what he had told her. "No…No that's not true!"
Scott tried to wrap his arms around her to comfort her, but she stubbornly pulled away from him.
"Jean…" He said quietly. She was in obvious physical pain and he wanted so badly to reach out to her.
She was emotionally and physically drained and the strength of her pain became more than her weak body could bear as she fell to the ground on her knees.
"I can't believe it. I can't believe it's true." She murmured burying her face in her hands.
Scott kneeled down besides her body and touched her cheek with his palm. He managed to get her to look up at him.
"It is Jean. She's gone." He answered.
Jean turned to her left as she looked at the gravestone, tracing the indented letters with her fingers as Scott continued;
"Stop holding onto something that was never meant to be. Let her go." He was quiet but his voce was persuasive and she felt too weak to stubbornly ignore his words.
He tried to take her in his arms but she pulled angrily away from him. He sighed, it was frustrating trying to get through to her.
"I went through what you're going through now, maybe it's not exactly the same thing, but I can tell you this, you have to make peace with her death, stop fighting, stop trying to place blame, you have to realize that it was meant to be. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you'll be free."
Jean looked into his glasses, she could sense his eyes looking deep into hers. Tears fell free from her eyes and Scott pushed back a strand of hair from her face.
She nodded her head in understanding, her breath caught in her throat as she cried hard and silently.
Feeling too weak and tired to even respond, her tenseness loosened and she let her body fall into his awaiting arms.
She rested her head against his shoulders, as her arms held tight together against his chest.
Scott stole a glance to his right and momentarily looked over his daughter's gravestone before wrapping his arms around Jean in a tight, comforting embrace.
"It's okay…It's okay. We'll get past this." He whispered into her ear reassuringly, as she cried in his arms.
He sighed and kissed her hair. "We'll get through this together, I promise."
He said the words that he should have said years ago, the words that months ago she had longed to hear. Words that were now, two years too late.
He kissed her again, resting his face against her hair as she continued to cry.
He comforted her now with the words he should have years ago. Back than, they would have been all the comfort she would need. Too much time had passed since the day he should have said those words to her, and now he didn't know if it was enough.
Logan took the last swig of beer from the bottle and set it on the table next to three already empty ones.
Warren was still working on his second, but the two men didn't seem to notice as they were both caught up in an enlightening conversation. Warren chuckled as Logan mentioned something about Scott and Jean's first meeting and continued from there;
"…Look the one thing I noticed the day that Jeannie arrived here, is that she had an amazin' affect on him. He just kept sayin' 'Wow' the entire time. I truly think he was in love wit' her from day one."
Warren smiled. "Yeah she sure has that affect, I'll tell you that much. I remember thinking that too. But back then I was just glad she was there to help me get my mind all straightened out after the Morlocks' gang thrashed it. I couldn't remember much about it, but afterwards she was very vivid in my mind, I just had to get to know her better." He reminisced.
Logan nodded as he took in the young man's recollection.
"I wouldn't usually say that this is the kinda stuff I like ta notice, but bein' in this place fer so long, even it can have some affect on me." Logan wasn't one known to talk about his personal opinions, or anything personal for that matter.
"So you've been here for a while then?" Warren asked as he realized he didn't know much about the older man's history.
Warren took a drink of his beer as Logan nodded.
"Yep. 'Ro and I were Chuck's first recruits. She was just outta high school, and I, well I was a mad man, completely berserk. But ah, We didn't need much trainin' we just kinda held down the fort with Magneto n' everythin while Charles' started this little school here."
"And Scott was the first Student…and then Jean." Warren said connecting it with the information he heard.
Logan nodded.
"Jeannie and Scott were the only students fer 'bout a couple months or so, n' bein' the only two they kinda had ta find some strengths and commonness in each other. So they formed a friendship, it was more of just a liking really. At this time Scott had to wear a wrap around his eyes 'cause he didn't have nothin' fer 'em, to keep the blasts at bay. So Jeannie would read ta him, she would help him wit' his studies. In short for a couple weeks, she was his eyes. And in return he would teach her some karate moves, ya know stuff he had to learn because he couldn't see, self-defense stuff."
Logan chuckled as he remembered his next thought.
"I remember one time when Jeannie got the flu, it was bad cause we had all this stuff all around the mansion, levitatin' everytime she'd sneeze or cough, but finally Slim was able ta go in there and calm her down. I think their friendship actually grew into a deep respect for each other. And it kinda just kept goin' and growin' I guess. Both were close to twelve when they joined so in a matter of five to six years it turned out to be so much more. It was a genuine care fer the other."
Logan paused to open another beer and took a drink before continuing.
"Scottie, he always had a kinda crush on Red, but as he got ta be seventeen, eighteen, ya know he kinda saw his best friend in a way he hadn't before. Ta be honest, I really think it scared him at first. It just honestly terrified him. I'm sayin', here was this girl, his best friend, and he felt very much attracted to her, emotionally and physically. It literally scared the hell outta him. He felt so guilty for feelin' that way 'bout 'er. One night, when he could take it no longer, he came ta me and talked about it. I wasn't surprised at all really, but I did sympathize wit' 'im."
His eyes drifted to the side as he recalled the memory.
"Sure he had a crush on her, he'd always known that. But their friendship had always come first. He had pushed back everythin' else that he felt about 'er 'cause he cherished their friendship so much. But ya know, he finally begun ta realize that he was deeply in love with his best friend, and there was nothin' he could do ta change that feelin'. He was so protective o' her. Especially with 'er first boyfriend, I don't 'member his much, some high school jock, a real egotistical loser with a name like Daniel or Don or somethin' like that."
"Duncan?" Warren chimed in. He remembered Jean telling him about her first 'serious' relationship. If she could call it that. She pretty much laughed the whole way through that experience as she recalled it to him.
Logan nodded. "Yeah 'think that was it, Duncan Doughnuts. That kid was a real airhead, just the biggest jerk. Anyway Slim didn't like 'em. Heck I didn't like 'im. Nope, I didn't. I could tell just by lookin' at 'im that his intentions wit' Jean were all wrong. He was just with Jeannie fer her looks. But I knew he only wanted what all high school jocks want from the pretty popular girls. And Scottie wasn't 'bout ta let him get it. But Jeannie's smarter than that, she didn't give it to him, she dumped the pompous loser. O' course if Duncan had done somethin' ta my Jeannie I would have sped up ta his place and ripped out his jugular and let 'im bleed all over the floor as I watch his miserable life fade away." Logan had unsheathed his claws in action, and was staring at the glinting silver as he spoke about terrorizing Duncan.
Warren cringed. "Remind me to always run things by you before I go ahead and do them."
Logan turned to Warren and faintly smirked as he turned his unsheathed claws against the lights, letting it glint in Warren's face. He looked to the three prongs and than back to the blonde millionaire. "O' course I will."
Warren tried to smile faintly back, but the thought of Logan coming to his penthouse in the middle of the night threatening him with six sharp bladed weapons pointed in his face, didn't sit very well with him.
Logan sheathed his claws as the moment faded.
"Well I'm sure ya know how that went. Eventually after Magneto's mutant revelation, Duncan was outta the picture fer good. O' course Scottie didn't have much ta protect 'er from then, 'cept on missions. Bein' field leader he couldn't just pay special attention ta Red, his job is ta look after everybody. As much as he cared fer her he had ta fight his feelings and have faith that Jeannie could handle herself. I don't think anybody else noticed it, but the Prof, 'Ro n' I did. We got ta thinkin' if it got any worse we'd have ta talk to Slim cause we didn't want his feelin's fer Jeannie jeoperdizin' the lives o' the rest o' the team. It had strong potential ta seriously distract 'im in the field. So in a way his feelin's were a liability and we worried 'bout that 'lot. But ultimately he musta realized what his feelin's fer Red were doin' ta him on the field. So somehow he worked it out wit' himself and it didn't escalate and in fact, it got better, he didn't seem ta worry 'bout 'er that much anymore. Musta convinced 'imself that she could handle 'er own."
Warren nodded understandingly as he drank the last bit from his beer.
Logan passed him another one and continued with his story,
"Now I know Redd is the kinda girl who has a certain affect on people. I've known that fer a while. I personally know that she's not perfect, she has 'er demons just like the rest o' us. But Scottie, he found 'er interesting. I remember times when Slim would be sittin' in the lounge with everyone n' Jeannie would enter, if he was talkin' ta someone at the time, he'd keep talkin' but he's focus wit' that person and the conversation would be completely gone. I know, a couple times he was talkin' ta me. Ya can't see his eyes from behind his glasses, but I knew. Redd would enter a room and like that in an instant she had him captivated. She fascinated 'im. He'd watch her from across the room. His eyes would follow her, he was always lookin' at 'er, watchin' 'er every action, calculatin' it in his head. But the thing is he would watch 'er fer the simple fact that she kept him interested. She was so unpredictable to him that everytime she got up he would watch 'er just ta see what she did next, no matter where he was. That's just how she is fer 'im. Mesmerizin'."
He sighed deeply. "So you can see why it became a relief fer everyone involved when Scott and Jeannie finally figured out that there was somethin' more than friendship between 'em. 'Course at first, they took things slow, they maintained their friendship, but what was between 'em came on so strong, eventually they had ta realize that there was just too much between them to stay just friends. I don't know what it's like personally to fall in love wit' yer best friend. But I'm bettin' it's pretty nice, the person yer most comfortable wit', yer confident, is the person ya wanna spend the rest o' yer life with. I think in that retrospect, that relationship's made in heaven."
Logan paused to drink from his beer.
"I don't know any of the intimate details, n' I don't care ta know 'em. But everythin' was good fer a while, everythin' was lookin' up, Slim and Redd had such a bright future ahead o' them. They were responsible, smart kids, wit' a baby on the way. I think in a way it scared 'em bein' so young, but in a way havin' a baby is such a great joy, they were elated."
Logan paused and it looked to Warren as if he were remembering from some past personal experience.
He broke the pause soon after and continued.
"So anyway they were lookin' forward to it. I think maybe everyone was. Sorry, I'm gettin' off the subject, anyway everythin' was good up until the sixth month of Jean's pregnancy. We used ta try ta get 'er ta eat more cause ta us, she didn't look sixth months pregnant but she kept telling us that's the way she wanted it. But, ah, We had this huge mission, we had sent a team out earlier in the day, they were newer recruits led by a couple more experienced ones. The older ones finished off the mission and came back, it turned out that a few of the newer recruits we had sent, were MIA and the returning recruits couldn't explain what happened. So Chuck took the rest o' us ta rescue, er find 'em, rather. It turned out they were just smaller pawns in parts o' a bigger game."
Logan took a swig of his fifth beer. Warren noticed this and counted the empty bottles. If it were anyone else but Logan he would become immeadiately worried about that person's present sobriety. But having a healing factor like Logan did, made it almost impossible for him to get drunk. It did cure after all.
"You 'member years ago when we recruited ya to help us face Apocalypse?" Logan asked and Warren nodded.
"Well the mastermind behind this 'game' this 'master plan', was a madman, we called him 'Sinister.' He was once a human known by the name Nathanial Essex. He was a scientist. Apocalypse had found in him 'potential', potential fer what, I dunno. But nothin' good, Apocalypse had always been twisted that way. Sick part o' it was, is that Essex was willin' ta exercise his humanity and be transformed into 'Sinister.' He became Apocalypse's right hand man and head scientist. A red eyed evil serpent, that's what he was. He was willin' ta do anythin' Apocalypse wanted him too. But his main fascination was genetics. DNA of all sorts."
Warren listened attentively now, having not heard any of this before.
"It was only later that we found he was completely obsessed wit' the Summers' bloodline. Fascinated by the mutant potential it held. Guess Scottie's got one o' those heritages. He comes from a long line of strong men, and you know, strong men and good breeding lead to great genetics. And that's what Sinister wanted. Scott was the first Summers' to ever exhibit any indication of the mutant gene. He is also the oldest of the Summers' brothers, so therefore his bloodline was of more consequence to Sinister. He was convinced that Scott's line would be of the most powerful mutants ever known to man. And it was true, he was right 'bout that, Hank had confirmed as much to us."
"So how did all this lead to them losing their baby?" Warren asked. It was a totally warped thing to hear.
Logan shrugged.
"It mighta not been the smartest thing ta do, but after we had beaten Apocalypse, we tried to keep tabs on his colleagues, so ta speak. It took us years, but when we finally got the lead on Sinister, from an anonymous source, Chuck sent only a few o' us ta check it out. It was a smaller lead, and we didn't even know how legitimate it was. After all, we didn't know who had led us there wit' the tip and fer all we knew, it was an older lead, someplace Sinister had been before moving his operations elsewhere."
He sighed as he looked back to that day.
"At the time of the tip, 'Ro, Scottie and I were on a separate mission. We had gotten an even bigger, more legitimate tip, one we could prove, earlier in the day. So we were checkin' that out. Chuck didn't see it important that he flag us down and bring us home to check out such trivial a thing as the anonymous tip since he knew what we were doing was vitally more important. So he appointed Jeannie as captain o' the team. It was a bad decision I know."
He sighed.
"But the irony o' it is, was she was supposed ta stay back. We didn't want 'er to jeopardize 'er pregnancy. She was six months at the time, and though she didn't look it, she still was, and participating in field missions could seriously threaten the pregnancy. Chuck did everythin' short o' pushin' 'er out of the plane 'imself, ta get 'er to stay back. But ya know how stubborn she is, she was just as stubborn years ago and somehow she managed to convince Chuck to let 'er stay on that plane. She insisted on helpin'. N' the truth was, wit' the three o' us gone, Chuck needed 'er on the mission, he needed 'er experience. So he let 'er go. Once word got back ta us, Scott freaked out, he didn't want 'er on the field. We were miles away though and couldn't do anything 'bout it. The only thing we could do was convince Jean to keep us posted. And she did."
Logan shut his eyes, as he knew the worst of the memory was yet to come.
"She kept in touch wit' us all up until the point her team got attacked and she was captured. Scottie lost it then, He was so scared fer 'er. I don't blame 'im either. We were all worried. He wouldn't do anythin' but try ta find out what had happened to the team. Right than and there we turned our plane around and searched mercilessly fer hours ta find 'er. Ultimately we did find the warehouse where Sinister held his base of operations. When we got there we split up, and the next thing I 'member is Cyke screamin' fer us, yellin' fer help. I was the closet ta his location and I went blarin' inta the room, and I 'member bein' shocked at first, at the sight, at what I was seein'. I completely froze up." Logan sighed as he remembered his own inadequacy.
"Cyke had cut Jean loose from her bounds, and was holdin' 'er in his arms, and there was blood everywhere. She was soaked in blood. From her stomach, face, chest, there was blood everywhere on 'er and on the floor, some of it even on Scott and I couldn't tell if it was his or hers, I couldn't tell where any o' the blood was comin' from. I've killed lots o' people in my life without remorse, Trust me, I've seen some gruesome things, but nothin' prepared me fer this. And I honestly believe it was 'cause I'd never seen anythin' like it 'fore, not ta people I care 'bout. I didn't know what ta do, and Scott, he was freakin' out, just literally screamin' and shouting Jean's name, and I just stood there, I couldn't bring myself ta do anythin'. Eventually we got 'er on the plane and back to the mansion, but it was just so horrible, so ghastly. It tore me apart ta see 'er that way."
Logan sighed and suppressed his emotion as the moment came back to him. He sighed heavily and rested from his storytelling as he took a sip from his beer. He glanced to Warren who was shaken up by the visualization Logan's detail had put in his mind. "I trust ya know the rest."
Warren nodded. "Yeah, Scott felt that he was too late in finding her, and because of that and the fact that she was infected with the virus, they lost their baby."
Logan nodded. "Yep. It's a wonder Scott didn't become infected with the virus 'imself after all the contact he had with Jean's contaminated blood. Hank had him tested just to be precautious, I guess the result was that Scott had an immunity of sorts, well no one can be completely immune to it, but it was still a wonder he came out of it without any contamination whatsoever. The weeks that followed the death really put a strain on the couple. I think because of all the anguish that they had ta face, and their hidden emotions about it, a wall built up between 'em. Scott was the one who told Jean that the baby didn't make it. Losin' a baby is a terrible, terrible tragedy. It was devestatin' ta 'em ta say the least. It's the worst kind o' pain."
Warren watched Logan as he talked. It seemed like he was talking so intimately and personally from experience that he had to wonder if it were still Scott and Jean's pain the older man was talking about. He hadn't remembered hearing anything from anyone about Logan's family. As far as anyone knew the man didn't have a family. Sure he didn't now, But maybe he had once.
"Jeannie didn't take the news well, she was mad and heartbroken. When Scott finally told her that it was his decision, she understood what he had ta do and why he did it, but that understanding didn't make it any easier for her. She was so angry wit' him. She blamed him for what they had lost. Truth is, if ya ask me, I don't think Jean knew how to react. Scott… he had faced losin' people he loved years ago, wit' his parents deaths. But Redd never had ta experience that and it was a new feelin' fer her, and it was so hard.
Losin' that little baby, losin' Rachel, was the hardest thing fer all of us. We had watched them grow closer and we were forced ta watch them tear apart. It was frustratin' to say the least 'cause there was nothin' we could do 'bout it. It was the most heartbreaking thing to all of us. You could say it was the last tick on an already tickin' time bomb.
But I don't believe that. I don't believe that their young daughter was the one that would hold their relationship together and I don't believe that she's what would have broken it. From what I saw it was just a whole bunch of miscommunication on both sides. Jeannie had gotten an application months earlier ta attend NYU but she wanted ta stay near Scottie, n' than she got pregnant, and her priorities changed.
But when the baby died, Jean had nothin' ta stay 'ere fer, least that's how she felt. She was fed up wit' it all. Felt she needed a change, she needed ta escape everythin'. So she accepted the application. She tried talkin' ta Slim reasonably tellin' him why she was doin' what she was doin', she tried ta get him ta understand, tried ta talk ta 'im 'bout everythin' she was feelin'. She wanted 'im ta help 'er out, she needed him and he couldn't be there fer 'er. She tried ta get him ta go wit' 'er. She wanted 'im ta go wit' 'er. She was angry and in pain, but she more than that, she still loved 'im wit' all her heart and wanted things ta work out between 'em."
Logan shook his head softly.
"But things didn't. As deep as their love was, they couldn't make things work. Scott just shut 'imself off from everybody, includin' Jeannie. It was hard fer her ta leave 'im, but he told her too, he asked her to go, said he needed the space, the time apart. She loved 'im, she tried gettin' through ta 'im wit' that, but he wasn't hearin' her. They fought that night. They fought and said so many angry words ta each other, so many hurtful things, then she left, heartbroken. I dunno what he said to 'er that night, but ever since then she's been determined that she doesn't need him in her life anymore. I dunno what want on that night but shortly after Jeannie arrived in the city, she filed and Scott received divorce papers in the mail."
Warren frowned. Divorce papers? Jean hadn't told him that. He hadn't known that she had once been married to Scott.
"She was…She was married to Scott?" He asked.
Logan nodded and looked to Warren. "Yeah, ya didn't know that?"
Warren shook his head and shrugged. "No…" He answered quietly.
Logan nodded again. "Yeah they were eighteen when they married, everyone thought them too young, but the fact is, both of 'em turned nineteen later that same year, and no one really did anythin' ta prevent the marriage. Her parents tried talkin' to 'em of course, so did the Prof, but they were so much in love and we could all see that. None of us had any serious objections to the union, so that was that I guess."
Warren's eyebrows shot up in revelation. "Oh. Wow. I didn't…I didn't know that."
"Jeannie didn't tell ya?"
He shook his head. "No. No. She didn't…she didn't say a word about any of that."
"But you knew 'bout the baby?" Logan clarified.
"Yeah, Yeah, I did. But I didn't know that she had married Scott. She didn't tell me that. Why didn't she tell me that?" He frowned and looked to Logan expectantly as if he would have told him the answer.
"Why would she keep that from me?" He asked again more to himself than anyone.
"I dunno, kid. I don't see the reasons why she wouldn't tell ya."
"Unless she didn't want me to know." Warren said quietly, again more to himself.
"Well I don't understand why she wouldn't. It was no secret that Scottie and Jean were together, in fact it was immensely obvious. But it was no secret that they probably would be for the rest o' their lives. By just lookin' at 'em together ya could tell that these were people who really didn't want ta be with anyone else."
Logan sighed and sipped his beer, he wasn't sure if he should continue.
Warren took the hint that he was a little reluctant to continue sharing, and he realized that Logan was definitely trying to tell him something.
"So Scott and Jean, they share something that's unbelievable? Their love is unbreakable. Is that what you're trying to tell me?" He frowned as he asked the question.
Logan shrugged. "I never said that."
"Yeah but you did say is that Scott and Jean share something that you believe to be indestructible. I mean you do believe that they share a bond deeper than you can imagine, deeper than you could ever think two people capable to share, that's what you're trying to tell me."
"Look, Warren, I like ya, yer a good kid. But—"
"—But what? What are you saying?" He asked.
Logan shrugged. "Look, I just want ya ta know."
"So, what, you're saying you don't want Jean to marry me?" He asked.
"No. I'm not sayin' that at all."
"But you are preparing me. You're telling me all this so that I can be prepared for a fall. That's what you're doing." Warren had it figured out.
"Ya gotta understand kid, when yer wit' Jeannie, wit' Scott, ya gotta be prepared fer that."
"You don't think it's over, do you?" Warren asked softly.
"No. I don't." Logan answered forcefully.
"So you think I should—"
Logan shook his head, cutting the young man off. "Nope. I'm not suggestin' ya do anythin'. As long as Redd's happy, I don't care who she's wit' or what she does."
"Than why tell me all this, Logan?" He asked.
The Canadian turned to Warren with a smirk. "Cause ya told me to."
Warren sighed and cast his eyes to the ground. "I did, didn't I?" He confirmed with a heavy sigh.
Logan looked to the kid as he drank the last swig of his beer and dumped it on the table next to the other four empty bottles.
Warren turned his bottle over in his hands, but didn't drink from it.
"Well I believe ya know the rest o' the story better 'en I."
Warren nodded slightly.
Logan noticed his obvious distress.
"I know what ya heard, some of it is news ta ya, some of it ya never heard 'fore. But don't let what ya heard tonight effect any future decisions ya might make. I'd encourage ya to talk ta Jeannie 'bout any o' this before ya start basin' decisions off o' it." Logan warned.
Warren nodded. "Yeah…a lot of it, is quite a…it's quite a revelation. Here I thought you couldn't tell me a lot that I didn't already know, but I guess…I guess there are some things that Jean didn't feel comfortable telling me. Why wouldn't she tell me about her marriage, what was there to hide about it?" He asked still stumped at that revealing bit of fact.
Logan couldn't tell him what he wanted to hear. "Like I said, talk ta yer fiancée…" He stressed the word. "I'm sure her reasons for keeping it from ya will all make sense in the end."
"Unless she kept it from me because she felt that it wasn't over. That her history with Scott ran too deep for it to ever really be over. Maybe she was ashamed of it. Of the way she had backed out of it. Maybe." Warren ran through the reasons and scenarios in his head, trying to make sense of it.
Logan knew he could do that all night. He looked to the coffee table where the empty bottles lay. "Well looks like five's pretty much my limit fer the night." He said standing up.
Warren stood up as well, placing the half-full bottle on the table. "Nice talking to you." He said.
Logan's face broke out into a faint smile. He knew that the kid was now wishing he didn't know any of it. That's how confused he was. "Yeah, you too." He replied.
He turned to go.
"Logan—" Warren tried to say something to him but he couldn't figure out how to say it.
Logan sensed this and turned around to face him. "Sorry bub, I can't help ya wit' this. I'm not the one ya should be talkin' ta." He knew Warren understood that.
Warren slid his hands in his pockets and nodded weakly.
Logan sighed and muttered a faint 'good,' that the boy got it.
Warren watched him leave and sighed as he wondered what to do next.
An hour later, Jean sauntered into her bedroom pushing the hair out of her face.
Warren heard her footsteps and walked in from the balcony, where he had been thinking for over an hour.
"Hey." He said softly in greeting.
She sighed. "Oh, Hi." She sounded almost relieved.
"You okay?" He asked nodding towards her worn figure.
"Yeah, I just… had a rough day." She let her body fall unto his and he hesitated before he embraced her in a hug.
"It's okay Jean." At that moment those words seemed so sourly out of place.
She looked up and he struggled to meet her eyes. "Yeah now it is." She replied. It must have been what she needed to hear from him.
He smiled faintly and kissed her on the forehead.
She parted from his arms. "I'm gonna go change for bed."
He nodded as she departed into the bathroom.
He scratched the back of his neck his and ran a hand through his blonde hair with a heavy sigh as he fell on the bed.
His mind was lost elsewhere. He had seriously been considering all that Logan had told him. He realized that he came up with a lot of questions. Questions that he couldn't answer, and for a moment, questions that frightened him.
"Warren?" He looked up at the sound of Jean's voice, dismissing away his thoughts.
She walked towards the bed, as she said in explanation, "You're mind was wondering."
He watched as she climbed into bed. "Did you—" He started to ask.
She shook her head. "-You know I wouldn't do that. I don't have to be a telepath to see that you were obviously lost in thought."
She snuggled up against him her back against his chest. "Is there anything you'd like to talk about?"
He hesitated before answering, "Not really."
"Mmm…okay than." She shut her eyes and rested.
Warren shifted uncomfortably. "So did you have a nice time out in the garden?"
She opened her eyes. "I don't really wanna talk about it."
After everything he had heard tonight, he couldn't help but feel that she was keeping something from him.
"Was it that bad?" Was all he asked.
"It just brought out a lot of my demons."
"Did it help you any?"
"I think so." She replied softly.
Warren hesitated. "Jean are you-are you happy?"
She turned around to face him. "What?"
"Are you-Are you happy with me? With our engagement?"
"Why would you ask that?"
"I dunno, its just-I was talking to Logan and-"
She chuckled slightly. "You were talking to Logan? Our Logan? What did he tell you?"
"Nothing. He just-he was talking to me about your relationship with Scott before you met me. He told me you two married. Jean…why didn't you tell me that? Why didn't you let me know?" He asked obviously confused that she would keep it from him.
She hadn't expected that and tensed up. She shrugged, "I don't know."
He shook his head, not accepting that answer from her as he got up from the bed. "Jean why didn't you tell me?" He asked again more forcefully. "Why did you keep it from me?"
She sighed. "I don't know, Warren, okay? I guess I thought it wasn't important."
"What, that you had been married before? Yeah, the hell that is important. I would've liked to know that little tid-bit about you. I had no idea that marrying me wasn't your first marriage. You didn't even let on that you had been married before…and to Scott."
"What does Scott have to do with anything?" She asked him vigorously, standing up as well.
"Don't you see Jean? Scott has everything to do with this!" He shot back.
"Why are you worrying about this? It's all in the past." She tried to brush it off.
"I am worried. I'm worried about this because you didn't tell me. You didn't let me know. And I can't help but feel that you purposely kept it from me. I mean what am I supposed to believe? I'm led to think what else you've been keeping from me."
"Nothing, Warren." She answered. "I'm sorry about not telling you about my marriage to Scott. I'm sorry, you're right; I should've told you. I'm sorry." She apologized.
"Jean, Logan…he told me so many things and I don't know… I just…I have this feeling—" Warren's voice drifted off as he tried to find the words to say.
"Well don't. Don't feel anything about it. What happened between Scott and I in the past, stays in the past. Besides, I love you." She said quietly reassuring him.
"But—" He tried to protest.
"Stop. I don't want you worrying about Scott anymore." She whispered to him before kissing him.
"Know that I love you Warren." She said once more.
"Yeah?" He smiled.
She smiled back. "Yeah."
They embraced in a kiss once more, but even Jean couldn't help but feel the conviction in her words wasn't there, and Warren noticed it.
Okay, well, we know what happened to Scott and Jean and what made her leave.
They lost thier baby and it was too tragic for them to handle together. Logan pretty much told that drawn out story of Scott and Jean's humble beginnings and bitter ends. Also, I've dropped teeny hints in this story about the fact that Logan may have had a family, or suffered through the loss of a child...and you can keep guessing on that one for now, because it's not in this story. But it is however, gonna be a main focus in Logan's storyline in the Romance fic I'm currently writing and that's currently stalled. So you can keep your eyes peeled for that one.
However, back to this story,at the time of the loss, they were married, and that's what I'm going to try to deal with in these later chapters.
That is also a change that I've made in my revision of this story. In the original posting they were never married when it happend, but only engaged, and I thought that I should cement that relationship firmer and make it so that they share so much more than before.
So I'm gonna deal with the relationship aspect, or at least, focus on it more than I have. What happened to thier marriage and to them as a couple, and what want wrong and why she left. So pretty much, I'm gonna deal with the aftermath of the loss a little bit and also the fact that they were both so young when it happened, being only nineteen, but mostly the relationship between them and if they can overcome it.
So, Hope You're Enjoying So Far!